a/n: Sorry for the really late update you guys! :( I've been having some serious writer's block lately. And I couldn't even type this chapter out. Or type anything out, really. I'm really sorry! Here's the next chapter! Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews, favs and follows. I appreciate every single one of you. :)
For Cory Allan Michael Monteith
i still feel you here.
His girlfriend is so beautiful. Yes. His girlfriend. He gets to say that all the time now. Girlfriend. He repeats in his mind. Holy shit. Rachel Berry is my girlfriend.
He finds her with one of his old McKinley shirts on, sticking her head in the fridge.
"I like the view from here." He smirks, gaping at the little bit of ass, hiding just beneath the hem of his shirt.
She smiles despite her current predicament. "Finn. You do not have anything here that is vegan friendly."
"That is what?"
"Vegan. Finn. I'm vegan."
He shuffles his way towards her and takes her hand, forcing her to turn and look at him.
"Are you very hungry?"
"Of course I am Finn!" She pouts.
"Well I can I think of something you can…" He whispers, placing the palm of her hand dangerously high on his thigh.
"Finn!" She slaps his thighs.
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" He chuckles. "I'll go buy us some breakfast okay?"
"Thank you." She smiles, leaning up to kiss him.
She decides to wander around his apartment. She picks up a photograph of him and two other older looking people who she assumes are his parents. There is also a paler looking boy in the photo. She makes a mental note to ask about him later. She places the photo frame back down and strays over to his closet - rows and rows of t-shirts that smell just like him. She lifts up a sleeve and places it above her nose. She sighs in contentment. Her eyes flicker over to the little brown leather notebook perched nicely on top on his bedside table. She can't resist the temptation so she grabs it and plops herself on his bed and begins flipping through it. She hears her own breath catch when she finds a diary entry written on the day they met. She bites her bottom lip in anxiousness.
I can't get the image of her out of my mind.
She's so beautiful.
I love the way her long brown hair cascades down her shoulders.
And how soft they felt.
She smelled like strawberries.
Not the sour kind -
The sweet ones.
I am the luckiest guy in the world.
She's so beautiful.
I could stare at her all day.
She snaps his diary shut real quick and tosses it back onto his bedside table. She covers her entire face with both her hands. She has the widest grin on her face and the reddest cheeks in the world. Her heart feels so full. Maybe she should keep him around.
Not long after, she hears the front door slam and a "I'm home!"
"Hi baby." He smiles when he sees her emerge from the bedroom.
He settles the plastic bag on the table. "I've got waffles, brownies and coffee both of us. Is that okay?"
"More than okay." She replies.
He sits on the high stool and begins rummaging through the bag, just like a kid excited for his Halloween candy.
She laughs at his hurriedness, runs her hands down his chest, and kisses his neck from behind.
"I like you a lot, you know."
He smirks into his half eaten waffle. "I like you too."
They cuddle up together on the couch, because it's Saturday and they both don't have to go to work till Monday, which is a relief for them as Rachel's work schedule is kind of all over the place. It is nice to have a weekend with just the both of them. She leans against his chest, his heart creating a hypnotic rhythm, sending her into a state of calm. She hums and places a small kiss where his heart should be.
She wants to tell him she loves him. But the words can't come out. The last time she said those words, the universe took him away from her. She's too afraid to risk that again. Her heart broke into a million tiny pieces until Finn came along and fixed her back together. He may not know it, but she does. She feels as though she's whole again.
Instead she settles for: "I love spending time with you."
To which he replies coyly, with an eyebrow raised, "I love spending time with you too."
She smiles in relief and buries herself into his chest again.
All is well.
All is well until he picks up her phone and finds pictures of her with Jesse. At first he's furious. Screaming, yelling and accusing her, while she sits in the corner, teeth chewing on her bottom lip, waiting for him to calm down. When he finally does after twenty minutes, she says. "He's dead."
His footsteps freeze. He turns and keeps his face locked in her direction.
She looks down and buries herself into her hands, letting the loose ends of her hair cover the rest of her face.
He doesn't walk over to comfort her, but asks, "what?"
She manages between sobs, "He, um, was going to pick me up for our anniversary dinner, when, he, uh, got hit by a car."
"I'm sorry." He says, gentler this time round.
"No, don't be." She shakes her head. "It's alright."
"No it isn't. I shouldn't have exploded like that."
"You didn't know."
It is night. The air's gone cold and foggy. She stands at his balcony, allowing the icy wind to caress her soft cheeks.
He comes up from behind her and places his hands against her waist.
They stay quiet for a while, taking in the view.
"Do you miss him?" He asks.
"There's not a day that goes by that I don't."
"I understand." He says, kissing the back of her hair.
He bites his cheek before pointing to the sky and saying, "Hey, do you see all those stars up there?"
She looks up. "Yeah?"
"You see, the thing about stars, is that, when they're born, they emit little light. And as they grow older, their little light starts to burn brighter, day-by-day. For those extraordinary good stars, well, their light burns a little too bright, until one day, they can't take it anymore and they die. But look up at the sky now. There are a gazillion stars. Most of them have already been dead for a thousand years, but their light still shines because they're millions of light years away, and their light only reaches us now. Just like Jesse, Rachel. The good he's done, the kindness he's shown - his light - still shines to this very day. No one can take that away from him."
She leans into his embrace, tears threatening to fall again. Not because she misses Jesse, but because Finn's so good to her.
In that moment, she knew he was a keeper.
a/n: i hope that helped with what we've all been going through. :)
reviews are love! 3