Mindy sat on the bleachers of her school with a lit cigarette in between her fingers. She watched the smoke float by, while she waited for Dave to hurry his slow ass up. He couldn't say a word about the object between her fingers because he knows that's what she does when he's late. "Damn it Dave! I swear to god if you don't get your fucking ass over here soon, I'm going to shove my foot so far up your ass, you'll taste the bottom of my sneaker." She growled to herself. She put the cigarette to her mouth and took a deep inhale of the smoke as a group of nicely dressed girls walked by her.
Some were giggling like crazy while the others talked. She scoffed and turned her gaze away from them. "Dumb fucking preps." She muttered under her breath as the smoke exhaled from her mouth. "Um excuse me?!" A young blonde with a shrill voice exclaimed. Mindy cocked an eyebrow before turning her gaze back to the girls. "Did you like um, just call us 'dumb fucking preps'? She asked using quotation like gestures.
Mindy merely flicked her halfway cigarette towards the blonde. The girl shrieked as it came at her. Mindy smirked as it landed right in front of the dumb blonde. It was a waste of a perfectly good cigarette but she didn't smoke because she enjoyed it. No she smoked because she got so damn bored when Dave was late for their meet ups. But she know found something that was more likely to entertain her while she waited for Dave. "Wow blondie, scared much?" She asked sarcastically. The blonde turned her attention to Mindy and glared her hardest glare which only made Mindy laugh.
She had faced ruthless criminal bent on either killing her or violating her and this dumb bimbo thought she could scare her? Mindy found that pretty damn funny, which is why she had no qualms about sharing her amusement. The girls behind her attempted to glare at her as well and pretty soon Mindy had broken out in full out laughter. "Ugh, I don't know what Dave sees in you, you worthless little whore." She shrieked causing Mindy to clamp her mouth shut.
"What was that you dumb blonde bitch?" Mindy asked all amusement lost. "You heard me, you fucking dirty ass whore. We all know you've been around the school a time or two. I mean your probably more used then Mr. Thompson's door nob." She proclaimed puffing out her chest. Mindy narrowed her eyes as she hopped off of the bleachers. "That coming from a slut, who's so desperate for a fuck, that they not only fuck the neighborhood dogs but her friend's donkey?" Mindy asked stopping right in front of the girls.
"Wow only someone as fucked up as you, would even think something like that." The blonde replied crossing her arms over her chest. Mindy pulled out her cellphone and did a few things. "Fucked up? Well at least I'm not knocked up like you are." Mindy replied rolling her eyes. "What?!" The girl shrieked. "That reminds me; is the father one of the guys you did on the hockey team? Or did it happen when you were getting gang banged by the football team. No don't tell me, it was when you kidnapped and raped the chess team. Because let's face it the only guys who don't wanna fuck you, are the ones with at least half a brain." Mindy questioned causing the blonde to growl loudly.
"I'll have you know, I've only slept with ten people my entire life." The blonde replied as if that was something to be proud of. "Only ten huh? What's your next goal 100 by the age of twenty?" Mindy replied completely sarcastic. "You fucking little bitch. I don't see what Dave even sees in you. Oh ya that's right, he's a fucking nerdy ass bitch who can't get anyone his own age, so he seduced whore younger then him." The blonde snapped back. Mindy growled, she could talk all the shit she wanted about her. But no one talks shit about Dave and gets away with it (except for her but that's beside the point).
Mindy raised her hand up and slapped the girl right upside the head, knocking her to the ground. "How's that you dumb bitch?! You can talk all the shit you want about me, but the moment you bring Dave into is the moment, I get fucking serious." Mindy stated in such a deathly tone that the other girls backed off a little bit. Mindy leaned forward where the girl looked in shock.
"So get back to your fucking street corner before I tear you a new snatch so fucking big, you won't be able to get an orgasm from a dog or any other poor creature you decide to fuck." Mindy snapped at the blonde. The blonde was obviously stupid because instead of backing away like she should've she decided to open her mouth once more... big mistake. "Well at least my boyfriend wouldn't leave me, if I actually was knocked unlike your pathetic excuse for a man." The blonde replied as Mindy got a deadly gaze in her eyes. "Ahhh hell no." Mindy proclaimed before leaping on top of the bitch. I'm going to skip this next part because what Mindy did to the blonde was something that should never be documented... ever.
Ten minutes later Mindy was dusting off her hands when Dave finally arrived. "Hey Mindy, sorry I took so long. The guys at the chess club were talking about some guy who apparently had a few nude pictures of you and was selling them. I ended up throwing the chess board and chasing the guy down." Dave explained rather quickly. "He had nude pictures of me?" Mindy asked raising an eyebrow. "Don't worry he doesn't need a visit from akbear or whatever you call the thing. I took care of it personally." He replied with an easy going smile. "Your so gonna tell me his name when were out on patrol tonight. He's going to get an ass kicking by Hitgirl personally." She replied as he chuckled already knowing that it was going to happen.
"Alright, but first I do believe I owe you icecream." Dave said holding has hand out for her. Mindy smiled shortly taking it in her own. They walked a few feet away before Dave stopped and sniffed the air for a moment. "What?" Mindy asked obviously impatient. "You smell like cigarettes." He stated shortly. "And? I always smell like cigarettes when your late." She replied just as short. "Ya but you smell like you only smoked half. Did you find something else to entertain yourself or something?" He asked as she internally wondered how a full and a half cigarette smelt different. She smiled briefly before pulling him head. "Ya something like that." She replied as groans were missed by the young couple.
Behind the bleachers laid a dumb blonde beaten near bloody with a trash can over her head. She groaned as the young couple went off for some ice cream before their nightly patrol. A few hours later Kickass and Hitgirl climbed into Mindy's room via window. "Mindy are you sure, your alright?" Dave asked removing his mask. "Yes Dave for the last time. You need to get that dildo out of your ear. I said I'm fine." Mindy snapped taking off her wig and mask. She had a large cut on the side of her face curtsy of the MothaFucker. Needless to say he didn't get out unharmed. In fact he had two broken legs and a dislocated arm, curtsy of Kickass.
Mindy slipped her outfit off not bothering to care if Dave watched or not. The two had changed in front of the other enough times that they were oddly comfortable with it. Add in the fact that their dating and it made it much less awkward. Dave proceeded to do the same. Mindy changed into a pair of blood red pajama bottoms with one of Dave's large t-shirts. Dave in turn changed into a pair of blue jeans and a black button up shirt. He grabbed his brown leather bomber jacket and pulled it on(just because they look awesome!).
While he did that Mindy climbed into bed and under the covers. "I don't see why you bother having your own place. I mean you practically live here, why not just talk to Marcus and make it official. I mean seriously it's a twenty minute walk from here to your house." Mindy muttered as Dave shot her a bright smile. He walked over to her bed and sat on the edge. "My answer to that is simple. I like being able to stay in your room just the two of us. I also like my left nut." Dave replied with a short chuckle. "Oh you know, I wouldn't let Marcus touch my balls." Mindy replied causing Dave to chuckle once more.
"I know you- wait did you just say your balls?" Dave asked completely caught off guard. "Ya. Their technically mine." She answered smuggly. "And how is that?" He questioned as she smirked. "It's simple really. I own you meaning I also own your balls. Case in point making them my balls." She explained simply. He looked down before making eye contact with her for a moment. "I don't see your name on them." He replied as she grinned evilly. She grabbed the nearest marker and had a small smirk.
"Well I'll have to change that won't I?" She asked as he raised an eyebrow. "Are you seriously going to write your name on my balls?" He asked as she shook her head. "Your right." She began putting the marker down before pulling out a tattoo needle from god knows where complete with black ink. "A tattoo is much more permanent for marking my balls." She finished seriously. Twenty minutes later and ten minutes of screaming later Mindy had successfully put her name on Dave's or really her balls. Five minutes after she was laying down drifting off to dream land. Dave smiled gently pressing his lips to hers for just a moment.
"Dave." She mumbled half asleep. "Yes my beloved Hitgirl?" He asked softly. She was to far into the realms of dream to snap on him about the comment so instead she asked a question. "Would you leave me if I became pregnant?" She asked holding her ak-47 bear close. "No, I would never leave you Mindy. I love you to much." He told her stroking a few stray hairs out of her face. "Good." She replied snuggling closer into her bear. "What makes you ask?" He asked knowing this was the only time he'd get a truthful answer. Dave could rarely get a truthful answer out of her on a good day while she was awake, she on the other hand could have him screaming the truth like the bloody Mary in seconds. So he was smart enough to take advantage of the situation.
"Some slut at school. Don't worry about it. I took good care of her." Mindy mumbled away. "Name?" He asked suddenly very curious in the situation. "Blondie Blowjobs or something." She mumbled before digging her face into her teddy bear (not that she wouldn't kill anyone for saying it was). He knew exactly who she was talking about within moments. Blonca Blowhearts, a preppy little girl who liked to sleep around with the captains of various teams. He knew that Mindy had probably taken good care of the girl like she had said but Blonca was about to learn that you don't talk bad about his Hitgirl and get away with it.
He stood up to walk out of her room, so he could head home when he heard Mindy mumble something he would later tease her about later. "I want a baby." She said as he sweat dropped comically. "Maybe in a few years." He whispered before exiting the room. He then took out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Hey dude. It's Dave. Ya, I'm calling about that favor you owe me. You still got those forty foot pythons? Awesome can you deliver one to a certain blondes house? Ya I'll have her address for you tomorrow. Thanks dude." Dave said into the phone before snapping it shut.
Blonca was going to get a very special surprise in a few days one that would be killer. Hey just because he's a hero doesn't mean he doesn't get pissed off, and Blonca was going to learn it that hardway you never mess with Hitgirl without receiving Kickass's wrath. Just ask Mothafucker after he cut her cheek.
Alright first part of the two shot is up. This is only going to be a two shot because I've never written a kickass story and my other stories are in need of updating which will be put off until later. Next time Kickasses revenge and Mindy's secret desire hehehehehehe. Alright that's all for now Ja Ne. also please say if i got the characters right.