A/N: Disclaimer: Don't own PJO. Rick has them rights. I make no monies or nuffink off this.

Pearls before Owls

or

Athena upsets Aphrodite

Aphrodite was fuming. She was so angry she didn't even want to do anything sexy. The Goddess of Love, Lust, and everything Sexy sat in her temple barely watching her husband's nifty invention, while violently eating ice cream. Yanno, the kind of eating where women stab ice cream like its wronged them? The kind of eating that makes men run away for fear of their soft parts? That kind of eating.

Stupid egg-head! Ruining what could only be the best demigod couple to ever be! Aphrodite had thought Poseidon's son was a nice boy(if a bit rough around the edges), and Athena's daughter perhaps the best match ever. On the sly, Aphrodite contacted her only competent daughter, Silena(Gods the rest were beautiful, but Silena would make something of herself if she tried. There were some brains in there), and told her to rally the cabin.

A couple was to be born! And they would lend a hand.

It had been going swimmingly, and then the Earthshaker and the Owl had gotten into yet another argument. Over something stupid, just like every other time, wouldn't she just tell him she had the hots for him?! The only person who didn't know Athena would break her vow of virginity for Poseidon was Poseidon.

Not like she didn't ruin any chance she had thousands of years ago. Poseidon's brain went 'Athena equals Bitchy McBitchBitch.'

Anyways, they had argued and Aphrodite wasn't paying attention until Athena mentioned Percy -and- Annabeth and their very new, very cute, very innocent relationship. It hadn't been said out loud, but everyone at Camp Half-blood considered them boyfriend-girlfriend, and were only waiting for them to verbalize it to each other.

It was so sweet! It was like true love!

Aphrodite tried to interject in, but Athena had told her to shut her whore mouth. Ouch. So, Uncle P is surprisingly calm during this. The sea's are a little choppy, a small squall or two. Nothing big like when he went into those tower rages that made Zeus look like an angry puppy. Then he said something that made Aphrodite's heart leap for joy.

"I like Annabeth, she's a good influence on Percy. She's like a bossier, more knowledgeable Sally, but she still has that kindness."

From Uncle P... Well, that was high praise. Amphitrite complained about how he had commissioned a palace for Sally to be made in Atlantis(As Poseidon's Chief Consort, she was Queen of the Seas. She also had a 'out of sight, out of mind' policy for her 'husband's mortal dalliances). Percy had been born, scrapping plans to bring her down to city. Then Amphitrite had gone and met Sally. Bought candy from her.

Amphitrite and Sally met for tea at least once a year. She really looked forward to it.

Then Athena had to go and dash Aphrodite's good mood.

"I forbid it! No daughter of mine will ever be with such lowly sea spawn!"

And the Goddess of Battle and Wisdom flashed out, which had upset Zeus, and then they all started arguing. Ares had wisely avoided his girlfriend, given her mood. As soon as the meeting was over, Aphrodite stomped over to her temple, got in her comfy clothes and prepared for an angry day in. She was about to start the next carton of chocolate-fudge swirl when a knock came on her door.

She yanked it open.

"What."

Luckily, it was only Artemis. If anyone understood angry, comfy clothes state, it was the tomboy. Who looked decidedly nervous in her Goddess of the Moon state(Which was a late teens-early twenties look to match Apollo's God of the Sun state). Good, Maiden Artemis and Aphrodite did not get along. At all.

"Hello, Aphrodite, may I come in?"

Aphrodite cast an appraising eye. Artemis willingly coming to the Temple of Not Maidens meant something big. But chocolate-fudge swirl...

"Fine, but you can't have any of my ice cream."

Artemis smiled lightly and pulled a carton of Devil's Food Cake ice cream out from her back. A peace offering? A really, really good one too. Something was definitely up, and Aphrodite wasn't going to like it.

Both goddess were soon arrayed around ice cream and other goodies. Aphrodite had gone straight to her pantry and brough back every feel good food she had.

"Might as well spill it. Before the ice cream melts."

Artemis clapped her hands over her ears and got what she had to say out in a rush. Aphrodite wouldn't like this at all, given the way she had been talking about the girl this concerned.

"Annabeth Chase has joined my hunt at the behest of her mother."

...

...

...

Aphrodite's scream of rage shook the whole of Olympus.

Later, Apollo would have to heal his sister's ears, while she happily ate chocolate ice cream.

XXXXX

Poor, poor Percy Jackson, Aphrodite mused as she licked the last remnants of ice cream of her spoon. She would have to make this up to him. He had such a terrible weight on his shoulders. It was one thing to be like his brother Thesus and have a grand old time (fraught with danger and wife stealing) and a complete other to have the fate of Olympus on his hands. His woman would have to be smart, funny, powerful, and skilled. He didn't need the usual convoluted relationships Aphrodite usually gave people. This had to be as true as possible with many quests to prove his love, and vice versa. Make that Athena all jealous that someone else's daughter got a man above men and beyond reproach in his heroism.

Now where was she going to find a girl who could keep pace with him?

XXXXX

Months later Aphrodite got her answer. Zeus' daughter, Thalia, had tumbled out of the tree she had been encased in. Almost as good as new, and just a little bit younger! Somehow, Aphrodite got the feeling she was supposed to be older. But hey, maybe the Fates adjusted things on the fly to suit their needs.

Those crafty bitches would do shit like that, wouldn't they? And then tell everyone that it was in the weave the whole time.

Damn, they were smart, and wasn't Aphrodite lucky to have a ready made girl fall right into Percy's lap. Literally.

XXXXX

Percy managed to get Thalia to the Big House before he had to sit down.

"Hey, Lee. Can I get an ice pack? She landed on me."

Lee Fletcher, one of Apollo's sons, looked over at Percy quizzically. The Son of the Sea God was gesturing down to his lap with a pleading look on his face. Instantly, Lee felt some sympathy for the boy. He was a trooper and a good guy. Had his nuts been smashed, Lee might have left her at the foot of the tree.

"Sure, no problem."

XXXXX

Gods, Thalia was amazing with that spear. Even Clarisse admitted it. And Clarisse taught spearwork, just like Percy now taught swordsmanship to the younger and less experienced half-bloods. Except Chiron had Clarisse teach pretty much everyone.

Her shieldwork was amazing as well. Percy had a very hard time with Thalia. Such a hard time that their record was very close with Percy eeking out on top only because of having more experience.

"Gods, Thalia. You almost got me that time."

The punk girl smiled as she pulled off her helm, sweat plastering her hair against her forehead.

"Yeah, I did, didn't I?"

Since it was the fall they didn't have much to do. There were only a dozen or so half-bloods in the camp near or all year round, and after last years debacle with the Canadian giants, Percy and his mom decided it would be best for him to stay at Camp Half-blood as if it were a boarding school. So he still got to see his mom pretty regularly.

But between keeping up with their schooling (or in Thalia's case, catching up) and nothing else, the remaining campers who were so inclined, trained and sparred alot. Thalia caught up in her heroine skills much faster than she did with her schoolwork, a side-effect of all that ADHD and dyslexia.

"You're getting way better. I think you might be able to beat me consistently soon."

"Only if it's with a spear, you spank me when I use the sword."

Percy laughed at that, though he stopped abruptly when an image of him literally spanking a near nude Thalia with Riptide drifted through his mind. His face rapidly reddened and he turned and began taking off his armor to hide his face. It was almost under control when Thalia plopped down next to where he was dropping his gear. Her legs kicked up and she leaned back on her hands, her face turned to the sky.

"Why don't you use a shield more often?"

Percy shrugged.

"I don't know, it just seems less mobile, and I like moving. I suppose I should get used to it, Tyson did give me one."

He tapped his watch before setting himself down next to Thalia, though he watched Clarisse work with one of the younger daughters of Demeter. Clarisse might be something of a bully off the training field or during capture the flag, but she was nothing short of an amazing instructor. She was surprisingly patient and very competent, often picking out small flaws in someone's motions. And despite their tumultuous relationship, she still helped Percy improve his basics.

'Good instincts don't mean shit against an experienced master of the basics, Prissy. Gotta have some depth to your skills.'

Without that help, Thalia would be the one spanking him. It really closed up some of the holes in his swordwork and it was on Clarisse's recommendation that he take over the basic training for swords. Which improved his basic skills even more.

Annabeth would have loved it for capture the flag, but she wasn't here anymore. She hadn't even visited since Thalia came out of the tree. Weren't the Hunters of Artemis supposed to be all gung ho about lady-mances? Maybe, if Percy ever became a god, he could start a similar group all about the bro-mance.

Percy shook his head to clear out those thoughts. That would be like a pedophile's dream. Strong, handsome young boys. Trained in classic Greek stylings... Yeah, Percy had heard the stories about Sparta. He was very glad that wasn't practiced here.

He liked girls, godsdamnit!

And another image of a near nude Thalia floated through his head. Somehow the gothic/punk look managed to work really well, even when she wasn't fully clothed.

"Damned ADHD..."

Thalia nudged him with her shoulder playfully.

"What? Have an interesting daydream? Perhaps about moi?"

Percy's face began heating up and he shook his head violently.

"No!"

Thalia's face took on a mischievous look before she rocked back against the ground with a hand on her forehead and one over her heart in a mocking fashion.

"Oh, how Aphrodite has been cruel to me! Percy Jackson doesn't love me!"

XXXXX

Aphrodite, in her temple, was practically bouncing in her seat, watching the scene unfold.

"Good timing with invoking my name there, girl! Get yourself that man-boy!"

Putting those thoughts of what Thalia would look like in Percy's head every time she could when he had a thought that could be 'dirty' was paying off. And he would just blame them on hormones!

Now, to start planting the seeds of romance in Thalia's head. How to do it, how to do it.

XXXXX

Percy's mouth worked like a fishes for a moment.

"We're cousins!"

Thalia sat up on her elbows.

"Honestly, most of the gods are tightly interbred. Any girl you meet at camp is family, if you want to get that nit picky. So get over it. We're only, what, five generations removed from creation? Only our parents separate us from the Titans. Everyone here is an aunt, uncle, sibling, or cousin."

Percy's mind came to a screeching halt as it processed the information. He had a few 'nice' dreams that included, but weren't limited to, Silena (from Aphrodite's cabin, cousin), Annabeth (from Athena's, cousin), Thalia (of course, and from Zeus' cabin, cousin), and even one about Clarisse (He'd never admit it and she was from Ares' cabin, cousin). Slowly, his mind restarted and picked up speed.

Maybe he should just get over it? Not like any of the mortal girls would understand anything about what he's been though. Even so far, and he knew he had a few more years at camp before he rejoined the mortal world.

"Oh."

"And remember, my dad is married to his sister."

At that Percy couldn't help turning a little green.

"Ew."

"Yeah, it's a little close for my tastes too."

XXXXX

Somewhere in California, a young man sneezed violently.

XXXXX

"I met your dad once."

Thalis perked up slightly. Not in a happy way, but in one that let Percy know he had her attention.

"Yeah, and?"

"He threatened to blow me up and then told me I did good."

Thalia chuckled a little at that.

"Do they even care?"

A bird call rang out, softly. Percy looked up and saw a huge eagle sitting on one of the very tall posts that surrounded the arena. He pointed it out to Thalia.

"I think they love us in their own ways, as best they can. And your dad would probably catch the most flak if he made a big showing about it."

Thalia's face softened a bit as she looked at the eagle. It stared back at her, and she swore that she saw love in its eyes.

"Yeah, I think you might be right."

XXXXX

Zeus sat upon his throne in his temple, watching the same scene that was sending Aphrodite into girlish squeals of delight (over how well her intended couple was bonding and how little work she had to do) with a pensive look on his face. He turned his head to the side, with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Bah, should have blasted him when I had the chance. Stupid mortal sea spawn."

XXXXX

"Yanno, before she took off her bandana and glasses, Medusa was hot. Totally see why my dad liked her."

Thalia looked at him incredulously.

"What in the Gods' names goes on in your kelp filled head?"

Percy just shrugged.

"It's a scary place, even for me."

She rolled her eyes and went back to watching the other demi-gods train, her eyes occasionally flicking back to the majestic eagle.

XXXXX

A/N: So, I've been hooked on PJO. Seen the movie, been reading the fanfiction, haven't read the books. Most Pertemis stories share a lot of similar themes, and Percabeth is either meh(to me), or makes me want to poke my eyes out with a poker of poking. Perlia (that's what we call it here yeah?) is surprisingly under done.

Maybe everyone is like OMFG THEIR COUSINS! I'd like to point out that Annabeth is Percy's second cousin and that isn't much better. And we are dealing with the Greek Pantheon, and there is just no stopping their incest.

Anyways. Story related. Basically, Poseidon likes Annabeth. She's kinda like a bossy Sally. And Athena flips her shit(because women are weird and flip their shit) and tells Annabeth to join the Hunters. Aphrodite is less than pleased, because she's convinced that its true love! Now deprived of the entertainment that is true love struggling and to get back at Athena and Annabeth, Aphrodite plans to get Thalia and Percy together. So far no one has any idea. So neither Zeus or Poseidon have noticed. Though Percy scored points with the Thunderer this chapter. And that's it so far.

Biggest changes are Thalia's age, she's not as old as she was in the books, Percy will be sixteen before she is and is still the subject of the Great Prophecy. Annabeth is a part of the Hunters at the moment. And Percy stays, for now, year round at camp. Then I'm working from there.

About me, I've been out of high school for a few years, did a tour of duty in Iraq (which is when I started writing fanfiction), and work nights. My schedule is hectic and my muse fickle. I like mythology, which is what ended up getting me into this fandom. And reviews are loved and generally grease the wheels so long as my fiction mistress hasn't left me. I'm looking to start this and continue my Naruto and HP stories with monthly updates of about 2-3k+ words. Its not a lot, but its what I write.

I hope you liked this and review!