Good Girls Don't
There are multiple definitions of the term "good".
Takes place after "Stop Team Go".
Kim stared at the wreckage of the Attitudinator strewn across the sidewalk. Metal fragments were scattered in the street. Ron hadn't just broken it, he'd practically obliterated it. All the king's horses and all the king's men wouldn't be putting it back together in a thousand years.
"You're going to clean that up – right?" she asked Ron, placing enough emphasis on the final word that even he couldn't miss what she was trying to say.
"Oh, uh, sure. I'll get right on that, KP," Ron muttered. He looked around aimlessly. It wasn't like he carried a broom with him on missions. "I'll just, uh, get something for this and be right back."
"Honestly," Kim sighed. "He can be so irresponsible sometimes."
"It wasn't entirely his fault," Ms. Go said. "That telephone pole falling on the Attitudinator was an accident."
"True," Kim conceded. What had been his fault was the burst of red energy that the Attitudinator emitted when Ron dropped it. A few inches lower, and the world would have had an evil Kim Possible on its hands. Or the old Shego back. Or both. And with the machine demolished, they'd be stuck like that forever.
Well, okay, technically Shego was already "stuck like that forever", since Ms. Go was a creation of the Attitudinator. But she was good instead of evil now, so that made it okay. Sort of.
"You were going to say something?" Kim asked.
Ms. Go nodded. "Yes, but it's not important now."
"Well, I thought you might want to use the Attitudinator to change me back into Shego now that Electronique was captured, out of some noble but misguided belief that it would be the right thing to do. Trust me, Kim. It's vital for your sake that I remain this way."
Kim was surprised. "For my sake?"
"Yes. Shego is obsessed with you."
"You make it sound like she's been stalking me," Kim chuckled.
Ms. Go didn't say anything.
Kim's good humor died. "She's been stalking me?"
"You really didn't know? I guess it was easy for her. You don't exactly live a sheltered existence."
"Why was she doing it?"
"Well, there isn't an easy answer to that. At first it was about beating you. I'm sure you remember an incident where Shego saved you from an alien named Warmonga?"
Kim nodded. "She wanted to be the one to destroy me, not Warmonga."
"Precisely. She became obsessed with the notion that someone might defeat you before she could. Consequently she couldn't let you out of her sight. When she wasn't physically present, she hired spies and set up a camera in your bedroom. If anybody tried to ambush you, she would be waiting."
"Wait, go back. She had cameras in my room?" Kim felt physically ill. Shego had seen her naked?
Ms. Go nodded. "She had them, anyway. I removed them while I was sleeping over. I must confess, I had an ulterior motive when I asked to say. I hope you can forgive me."
"Uh, sure. Just as long as they're gone. Was she just going to spy on me forever?"
"At first she was waiting for the perfect moment to strike herself," Ms. Go explained. "Later, that was what she told herself."
Kim thought this conversation was growing increasingly strange. "What she told herself?"
"Kim, Shego had gained access to your private life, and although it was for twisted reasons, she was protecting you. Over time, I'm afraid she began to care for you."
"Shego liked me?"
Ms. Go looked more than a little uncomfortable. "Kim, she liked liked you."
" . . . Oh."
Kim's brain was on safe mode. If she thought about it too hard, it might explode.
"That's why it's so important that I stay as Ms. Go, Kim. I don't feel THAT way about you, and I never will."
"You, um, seem pretty sure of that, but I'm sure Shego would have said the same thing once."
Ms. Go shook her head, smiling. "Kimmie, did you know I – Shego, that is – was raised a Catholic?"
"Yes. Shego may have lapsed, but I haven't. Homosexuality is a sin, Kim. It's bad. And well, let's face it. I'm not programmed to be a bad girl, am I?"
Kim didn't really agree that homosexuality was "bad", but if it meant that Ms. Go wasn't secretly lusting after her, she'd let it slide.
"Just imagine what might have happened otherwise," Ms. Go said earnestly. "I know how impressionable teenagers are. I know it's cool to be gay these days. If left unchecked, I'm afraid Shego might have tried to make you gay too. You thought your life was at risk, when in fact it was your soul."
"I'm pretty sure people are born gay, Ms. Go," Kim said, knitting her brow.
"That's what they want you to think. So anyway, like I said, I felt it was imperative that I remain as Ms. Go, but it's irrelevant now. I can be your teacher and your friend, and you won't have to worry about Shego trying to seduce you or spying on your naked ever again."
"Um . . . okay?"
Neither of them noticed Ron, who had heard the last few sentences, and promptly fainted.
Three days after the resolution of the Electronique situation, Kim was putting books in her locker at school when someone spoke to her on the other side of her locker door. "Excuse me, miss, but could you tell me where I can find Sh - Ms. Go's room?"
Kim paused. If it wasn't so patently ludicrous, she might have thought Dr. Drakken was asking her for directions. She closed her locker and looked to her left.
Dr. Drakken had asked her for directions.
"Kim Possible!" he shrieked.
The one time you could understand why he was surprised, and Sh - Ms. Go had missed it.
"Dr. Drakken?" Kim asked, still confused by his presence.
They stared at each other for another ten seconds before Drakken's face was suddenly by a crafty, smug grin. "You think you're all that, Kim Possible, but I am here merely as a visitor, an innocent law-abiding citizen. So you may want to take me into the authorities, but you can't! So nyah-nyahhhh!"
Kim sighed. "Why are you here?"
"I believe I may have mentioned that I wished to see - " He leaned forward. "Shego," he whispered.
"That's not her name any more," Kim said. "It's Ms. Go."
"Pfft," he said. "Ms. What Go?"
Kim blinked. She realized she was as in the dark about Ms. Go's first name as she had been about Shego's. If Shego was her last name. They were never entirely clear on that. "That's not important!" she said defensively. "If you're looking for Shego, forget it. She's a brand-new person."
"I'll just ask someone else."
"Oh for - fine. I'll take you."
Ms. Go had not yet been assigned a homeroom, so she was working in one of her teacher's edition textbooks in the lounge when Kim found her. "Shego!" Drakken burst out when he saw her. "You, erm, you're looking - different."
The teacher smiled sweetly at them. "Hello, Dr. D. I'm sorry I didn't call, but - "
"No, no," Drakken said, too flustered by Shego apologizing to be angry. "We'll just deduct those days from your still-substantial accrued vacation time, and - "
Ms. Go's face fell. "No, I meant I didn't call to tell you I'm quitting."
Drakken's jaw fell open. "But, but, you can't quit. What will I do for a sidekick?"
"You're a very bright man, Dr. D," Ms. Go said reassuringly. "I'm sure you'll find someone else, and if not you'll just build something. And I hope we can still be friends. But taking over the world is evil, and that's not me any longer."
Kim actually felt a tiny bit sorry for him. His head looked like it was about to roll off his shoulders and bounce across the floor.
"Hm. Yes. It's becoming clear to me. Very well, Ms. - Go. I won't take up more of your time."
And with that, Drakken stormed out. Kim would have remained behind, but she discovered his small hand was on her elbow, and he was pulling her out.
"Hey!" she said, slapping his hand off in the hallway.
"Mind-control chip?" he asked flatly.
"No, it - "
"Moodulator set to Way Too Nice?"
"No, it was - "
"Close, it was a Reverse Polarizer."
"Yes, I see. Turned the bad into good, did it?"
"Yeah, she's really - "
"Not Shego," Drakken said glumly. "I don't know who that woman is any more." He gave Kim the evil eye. "Did you hit her with this Reverse Polarizer?"
Kim was taken aback. The look in his eyes suggested he was keeping a very tenuous grip on his temper. Like he was crazy enough to try and hit her. Or something else equally silly. "No, it was Electronique. A Go City villain."
Drakken calmed down a bit. "Well, this is all very - upsetting. I had no idea rewiring the minds of villains was socially acceptable now. I suppose I should be more careful about being caught in the future."
"Well, the Reverse Polarizer broke," Kim replied. "And she doesn't want to be changed back."
He practically laughed in her face. "Of course not. Then she'd cease to exist. What did you expect her to say?" Scowling, he turned on his heel and left.
Kim shook her head. Without Shego he was screwed. How else was he going to react? Even if she could change Ms. Go back, why would she? Ms. Go was her friend. Shego helped criminals.
Everyone was better off.
It didn't occur to her that this was a somewhat dangerous way of thinking.
Kim sighed. Ron and Mr. Barkin were at it again.
"So it used to be Constantinople, but now it's Istanbul?"
"Yes, Stoppable. They changed the name."
"Why? What was wrong with the old name?"
"That's none of your business, Stoppable!"
"Are you a Turk?"
"I don't even KNOW how to play chess!"
Even Kim was mystified by that one.
"Are you from Turkey, Stoppable?" Barkin tried again.
"Then it's none of your business!"
Please let the Kimmunicator ring.
Thank you, God. I'll definitely be in church this Sunday. "Wade, what's the sitch?"
"Bad news. Dr. Drakken's already picked up some of Shego's tricks. Now he's the one breaking people out of prison!"
"I'll give you a clue. He freed her from Go City Penitentiary."
Kim said something she didn't normally say. "Son of a bi - "
"Sorry." What had she been thinking? She'd told the one person on the planet with the most incentive to change Ms. Go back into Shego about the Reverse Polarizer, AND about who created it. It was almost like she wanted Ms. Go changed back. "Is he still in Go City?"
"Negative. Looks like he's back in Middleton."
"Probably wants to be able to use the Reverse Polarizer as soon as Electronique makes him another one," Kim groaned.
"The good news is that Electronique is still good, so I doubt she'll want to help Drakken," Wade pointed out.
"Good news except for her. Who knows what Drakken will DO to her to make her help him? Thanks, Wade."
"There's one more thing, Kim. Team Go will be in Middleton any minute. Evidently they want to capture Electronique themselves."
Kim thought about it. She doubted she'd need their help to take on Drakken by himself, but they couldn't hurt, and Drakken had broken the law in their jurisdiction. "All right, well, I'll try not to let them get in my way."
She turned off the Kimmunicator and found that nothing else had changed.
"So Constantinople is now Istanbul, and New Amsterdam is now New York? Why can't people just pick a good name and stick with it? That's pretty indecisive if you ask me."
"People just liked it better that way!"
"You know, I like 'Stoppableton' more than 'Middleton'. From now on, our city will be known as Stoppableton!"
Kim thought the vein in Mr, Barkin's forehead was about to explode through the skin, reach across the room, and throttle her boyfriend. "Not now, Ron, we've got a mission!"
One advantage Kim had been able to consistently maintain in her battles with Dr. Drakken was her ability to hold the element of surprise. If she'd had a dime for every instance where Drakken was shocked by her arrival, she wouldn't need to wait until Christmas for that new iCell.
That element was lost when the Go Jet landed quite noisily in front of Drakken's lair. Kim smacked her forehead.
Four figures clad in tights ran down the ramp that extended from the belly of the Jet. "Come now, brothers!" the largest one proclaimed. "It's lights out for these villains!"
"I bet that's not the first time he's used THAT line," Ron said.
"I bet it's not the hundredth." Cautiously Team Possible followed Team Go inside without announcing their presence (loudly and with bad puns).
"Team Go?!" they heard up ahead as they approached Drakken's control center. "My lair isn't a runway, you know. You can't just go parking your planes wherever you like!"
"There he is!" Hego boomed.
Blinding grasp of the obvious, Hego, Kim thought.
"Excuse me, but could someone please let me out of here?" The voice of a woman with a European accent told Kim that it was Electronique. The words coming from her mouth told Kim that Electronique was indeed Drakken's prisoner, not partner.
"We'll free you, Electronique, but only so we can put you back in your old cell!"
"Hah! Good idea, considering there's a giant hole in it now," Drakken sneered.
"How about we regain control of the situation, Ron?" Kim asked.
"I'll accidentally hit the self-destruct button when you're ready, KP."
Kim and Ron rushed into Drakken's lab, only to find Team Go frozen in place. Electronique was in some kind of Plexiglass cube. Drakken was standing triumphantly between them with a small device in his hand.
"That's right, make just one move!" Drakken was daring them. "And my machine will drain every last ounce of electricity from her body, then feed it back to her in one concentrated burst. Even her body won't be able to handle that much at once!"
"Is that possible?" Kim asked Hego.
No one had seen or heard her come in. "Kim Possible!" Drakken shouted.
Element of surprise - back where it belonged.
"Kim," Hego said calmly. "Her system CAN be overloaded, although of course we've never tried to give her a lethal dose."
"Which I appreciate," Electronique volunteered. "However, I do not believe Dr. Drakken is as thoughtful."
"Hey, I'm very thoughtful! I'm full of thoughts! Hello, mad genius?"
"Let me guess, Drakken," Kim said. "You're going to force Electronique to build you a Reverse Polarizer so you can get Shego back, right?"
"Why was it necessary for you to say that?" Drakken whined. "I wanted to reveal that myself!"
"Eh, you snooze, you lose," Ron said.
"Ha ha, too slow!" Rufus jeered.
"Oh, I would never build another Reverse Polarizer," Electronique added. "Unless you needed more people turned good. Is that the case?"
"Eh . . . yes, yes it is?" Drakken said hopefully.
"Turn our sister back to evil? Never!" Hego roared. He charged Drakken, fully forgetting about the "one move and I" threat.
Drakken, however, was fully focused on the enormous man stampeding toward him to notice Kim. As he reached for the button, Kim launched her hair dryer grappler, wrapping it around his arm. He yelped and dropped the control as Kim pulled hard, almost wrenching his shoulder out of socket.
And Hego was still charging at him.
"Oh, snap," Drakken whimpered.
"Thanks for . . . "
"The help, Kim."
"No problem, Wegos," Kim said. "It was the least I could do."
"Thank you for rescuing me, Hego," Electronique was saying. "All I wanted was to remain in prison and finish serving my sentence, but Dr. Drakken forced me to go with him! I hope the prison won't extend my sentence."
"Fear not, Electronique. I will speak to the proper authorities."
"Oh, thank you!" She leaned up and pecked him quickly on the cheek, shocking him. (Figuratively and literally.)
"Guess it's back to school, Ron," Kim said.
"Darn. I prefer missions to faraway locales. Where the plane ride takes hours, you know."
"Perhaps we will join you, Kim," Hego said thoughtfully. "There's a stasis pod in the Go Jet where we can leave Electronique. We haven't seen our sister since we were changed back into superheroes."
"Into heroes, Hego," Mego corrected him. "Superheroes means we lost our powers and got them back, which has only happened twice that I remember. Heroes means we were evil, and then we were good again. Which is what Electronique did."
"Whatever, Mego," Hego muttered.
"You lost your powers twice?" Kim asked. "Once besides the Aviarius incident?"
"Yes," Hego said. "Due to sound equipment and a freak thunderstorm, our powers were transferred to a rock band. My sister never did let Aviarius live it down that he was once defeated by Belinda Carlisle."
"Oh-kaay," Kim said. "Well, if you want to see your sister, I can take you."
Kim was about to start getting undressed for bed that night, still pleased that Drakken's attempt to get Ms. Go changed back that day was thwarted, when her mother knocked on her door. "Kimmie? There are two men at the door to see you."
"At this hour? Who?"
"They say they're brothers of Sh - Ms. Go. I can see the resemblance."
Kim cocked her head. "I hope it's not an emergency. Wade hasn't tried to reach me tonight."
"They don't seem to be in a hurry, Kim. I think they just want to talk to you."
"Are they twins?"
"Hardly. One is thin, the other anything but."
Hego and Mego. "Fine, Mom, I'll be right down."
The brothers were sitting on the couch when she came downstairs. "Ms. Possible," Hego said gravely. "Thanks for speaking with us."
Mego's arms were crossed, and he had a decidedly exasperated look on his face. "I still say this is a mistake, Hego."
"Then why did you come?"
"To make sure she gets both sides of the story!"
"Whoa, slow down, I am in the room," Kim said. "What's wrong? Is it Ms. Go?"
"Yes," Hego said as Mego was saying, "No."
"I think I'm going to sit down," Kim said.
Hego glared at his brother, who finally shrugged and gestured for him to continue. "Kim, you probably don't know this, but we were raised in a somewhat - strict household."
"Ms. Go told me your family is Catholic."
"Did she say anything else?"
"Not - exactly, no."
"Well, to say our parents were Catholic is a bit of an understatement," Hego said. "They were Catholic only to the extent that Catholicism went far enough. Where our parents felt the Church didn't go far enough - and that was a lot - they had their own ideas. And when the Go Comet hit, well, that was clearly a direct blessing from God, and Mom and Dad got even worse. We had been chosen."
"Chosen for what?" Kim asked.
"Chosen to fight against evil," Hego replied.
"So Team Go was your parents' idea?"
"No, the Team Go that you know was my idea. The Team Go we weren't was our parents' idea. They believed we were intended to use our powers against 'evil' people who our ungodly city government and police force wouldn't do anything about." He allowed himself a ghost of a smile. "We would have been the most terrifying force the adult film industry had ever dealt with."
Kim blinked. "Adult films?"
"Pornography, bars, liquor stores, gay clubs - we were going to be the Hand of God and 'smite' them down." He looked at Mego. "Has anything I said been inaccurate so far?"
Mego grunted. "No, that's all true. Our parents were good people, but their definition of 'good' had impossibly high standards."
"Well, at any rate, that's not what we did. The Wegos were still young at that time, but Mego, Shego and myself were old enough that we had started rebelling against our parents. Shego was never crazy about fighting crime, but she did it mainly to piss the folks off. Women weren't supposed to be doing that sort of thing - unless they were using their destructive energies to level an adult theater, of course. Women were supposed to get married as soon as possible and spit out a dozen babies. Shego fought with them constantly."
"I didn't know," Kim said.
"It's not something we exactly like sharing," Mego replied.
"Anyway, Shego was able to wring a few compromises out of them," Hego continued. "Since there were so few acceptable males in our heathen society, Shego was allowed to pursue a career until a suitable husband could be located. Teaching was considered a marginally acceptable role for a woman, so that's how our sister ended up with a degree in child development. She never got a chance to use it, though. She disappeared after graduation. Personally? I think she became 'evil' because she wanted to become someone as different as possible from who our parents wanted her to be."
"Bullshit," Mego retorted. "Save the armchair psychology, Hego. She became evil because she enjoyed it. She said so herself! Sure, she flirted with the bad side at first to rebel, but people don't become sidekicks to megalomaniacs because they want to piss off their parents!"
"Guys, this is all interesting," Kim interrupted, "but why are you telling me this?"
Mego made a disgusted noise. "This'll be good."
"Kim," Hego said, "that woman you took us to is not our sister."
"No shit, Sherlock."
"Damn it, Mego, that's not what I'm talking about, and you know it! Ms. Go is the sister our parents tried to raise! We were with her for one dinner and I could tell! Kim, we asked her what she planned to do with her life now - "
"You bet your ass he did," Mego shot back. "Hego figured now that Shego was good again, she'd want to rejoin Team Go! That's what this whole thing is about. Ms. Go shot him down because 'it's not a woman's place', and now he figures he's at least got a better shot with the old Shego!"
"Wait, what?" Kim asked, stunned. "You want her changed back?"
"That's got nothing to do with it!" Hego snapped at Mego, stung. "You heard what she said! She's going to work at the high school until she finds a good, God-fearing man, get married, and have lots of children. That's never what Shego wanted! It's Electronique's damn Reverse Polarizer! Shego spent so long equating being good with our parents' idea of Scripture that the machine turned her into a younger version of our mother!"
"Yeah, well it's also turned her into someone who's happy." Wego looked at Kim. "Granted, Hego's right that we don't recognize our sister any more. But that's a good thing. Shego was never happy. She was constantly angry and miserable, our parents made her life hell, and she never smiled. Look at her now! I've never seen her so content. And she actually wants to have a relationship with us again! Shego never forgave us for staying behind in Go City with our parents. You think any of us enjoyed that? And you want to take that away from her? Christ, what kind of brother are you?"
"Guys, guys!" Kim said before the two got into a shoving match. "I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do for you. I mean, you were there. Electronique isn't going to build another Reverse Polarizer, and the first one was destroyed. I couldn't change Ms. Go back even if I wanted to, and to be honest I agree more with Mego than with you, Hego."
Hego looked crestfallen. "Kim, I swear this isn't about Team Go. It's just that . . . after everything her parents put her through, my sister finally got away from them. But after all that, they're going to win anyway. I know how Shego would feel about that."
Even Mego looked a little uncomfortable with that. "I'm not saying this is a perfect scenario," he admitted. "But like Kim said, it can't be changed. And I can live with that if I know she'll be happier in the long run."
As Kim was letting them out, Mego paused for a second at the door. "Kim, we don't know anything for sure about the Polarizer. It's possible the effects won't be permanent. If you see Shego coming back, would you let us know? There would have to be a decision, you know."
"Electronique said today that she'd be willing to rebuild the Reverse Polarizer for turning evil people good," Mego reminded her.
Kim didn't need it spelled out for her. If Ms. Go began turning back into Shego, it might be in everyone's best interests if she was zapped again. "I'll keep in touch," Kim said.
Two weeks later Kim was washing her hands in one of the school bathrooms when she heard vomiting in one of the stalls. She turned around, wringing her hands. "Hello?" she called out. "Are you all right?"
A voice weakly emanated from one of the rear stalls. "Just give me - " The voice was quickly replaced by more vomiting sounds.
"Do you need to see the nurse?" Kim asked.
Nothing happened for half a minute, and then there was the sound of a toilet flushing. Kim heard a door being unbolted, and a tall, willowy girl came out. She wasn't in Kim's circle of friends, but Kim knew her all the same. Alex was one of seven "out" gay and lesbian students. Nice enough, from what Kim had heard, but she'd never be a cheerleader. "I'm better now," Alex said, although her face was very pale and her hand trembled as she wiped something off her cheek.
"I'd hate to see what you looked like before."
"I had my head in a toilet. Can't get much worse than that."
"Are you coming down with something?" Kim asked.
"No, it was this thing that just hap - " Alex paused and looked at Kim as if she were noticing her for the first time. There was an odd flicker in her eyes, and then she smiled much too widely. "See you around, Kim. I have a class to get to." She hurriedly brushed past Kim and went out.
Kim stood there, confused. Alex had almost seemed afraid of her. But why?
She left the girls' room, but the hallway was deserted. She didn't see Alex or anyone else until she ran into Ron near her locker. "Ron, did you see Alex go past here?"
"Alex the chess club president? Alex the young Republican? Alex the future CEO?"
"Alex the lesbian."
"Ah. No. In faaact . . ." Ron looked around. "I don't see anyone at all. Including Mr. Barkin."
Kim smiled, forgetting Alex. She took Ron's hand. "Does somebody want a public display of affection?"
Their kiss could barely be considered that before they were interrupted. "Do I spy with my little eye a PDA?" Barkin growled.
Ron spun around. "Mr. Barkin, uh, well, you see, we, uh - "
Barkin suddenly put his arms around both his students. "Come on, Stoppable, don't be shy! Cheese and crackers, don't you realize how grand young love is? Love is in the air!"
Kim and Ron stared at each other. Mr. Barkin had officially cracked. Being trapped in a shipping container had had long-term consequences.
"Stoppable, you don't have to be ashamed of your love," Barkin went on, practically gushing. "Why hide it? It's a brand new day! It's the dawning of the Age of Aquarius!"
"I thought the Sixties - " Kim began.
"Let the sunshine in!" Ron hastily interrupted. "Boo-yah!" His eyes glared at Kim, as if to say, Are you trying to harsh his mellow?
"Boo-yah indeed," Barkin agreed. "If you don't make up for that puny, embarrassing excuse for a kiss in five seconds, you're both getting detention. Got it?"
"You're a hard master, sir," Ron said before he grabbed Kim, bent her over backwards, and kissed her like he was a man on a mission.
"Wow," Kim said, dazed, once Ron finally let her up. "So, uh, Mr. Barkin, you seem pretty happy today."
"You're darn tootin', Fig Newton," he said. "I'm spinning round like a record! Ms. Go and I are getting married!"
Kim stared. Her only coherent thought was I guess that makes me the maid of honor.
"Married?" Kim finally asked, seeing that Ron's brain was still in the process of restarting. "You proposed to Ms. Go?"
"Actually, she proposed to me," Mr. Barkin replied. "Nontraditional, I know, but I love an aggressive woman, a go-getter, someone who knows what she wants and goes after it. Plus, you know what that kind of woman is like in b - "
"Yes!" Kim interjected before Mr. Barkin broke Ron permanently. "Yes, we both know, no need to remind either of us." Mego HAD said this was going to happen, although Kim hadn't expected Ms. Go to move so quickly. "Are you, uh, thinking of having kids?"
"Absolutely, Possible. Preferably until we're able to field our own baseball team. Plus a closer and a utility infielder or two."
"Right," Kim said awkwardly. "I'm sure, uh, you'll score a lot of runs."
"Speaking of which, I've got a phys ed class to sub for. Possible, speak to Ms. Go at your earliest convenience. She may have mentioned something about wedding plans. And yellow ruffles."
Visions of bridesmaid dresses danced in Kim's head, like a parade of humiliation ninjas. "Oh . . . goody," she said.
"KP," Ron finally said a few moments later. "Did Mr. Barkin just say that he was getting married?"
"Yyyyy-no. No, he did not," Kim said, detecting a look in his eye that suggested Ron wished to visit Egypt, also known as the land of denial.
"Good. The mental images would have been - ick."
"Mmm-ha, bleh!" Rufus agreed, holding his nose.
Kim's life, one where Ms. Go had permanently replaced Shego, was not exactly what Kim had expected. It wasn't that it was bad per se. It was just a bit different from those first few days where Ms. Go had stayed at Kim's house and they had gone shopping together.
Ms. Go, of course, had been living in an apartment of her own for some time now. Once upon a time she could have bought a house the size of Middleton High with the money she'd amassed over the years, but most of that was gone, the proceeds of her thefts donated to religious charities. The only money she'd kept was money she'd earned legally - including, oddly enough, her wages from Drakken. She had paid taxes on it, after all. Still, Ms. Go lived comfortably, her income supplemented by her teacher's salary.
They also did a lot less together than they used to. Ms. Go had initially said that it would look strange for a teacher to spend so much time with one of her students, and that frankly it wouldn't do much for Kim's reputation either. They still saw each other at school, though, and they had conversations almost every day. Of course, over the last few weeks a frequent topic of conversation was the upcoming wedding. Kim's premonition had been correct, and Ms. Go had asked her to be the maid of honor. It had occurred to Kim that Ron might have to be a part of the bridal party as a consequence. She wasn't sure how he'd take being one of Barkin's ushers.
There would be a dress fitting in a few weeks. Kim had seen one too many movies to know that it wouldn't be pretty.
Still, it certainly wasn't a bad relationship. Ms. Go was encouraging and supportive, and Kim could discuss things with her that she felt uncomfortable bringing up with her mother. And soon Ms. Go would be a wife, and then a mother. Mego had been right. She would have a happy life to make up for her unhappy past.
Kim was finishing putting on her cheerleader's outfit when she became aware that the girls' locker room had become awfully quiet. She looked around and realized that every girl in the room was looking at her. Reflexively her hand went to her face. "It's not a zit, is it?" she joked weakly.
The cheerleading squad stood up, still staring at her with a mixture of hope and - hostility? And wouldn't you know, Bonnie was approaching her. "Don't tell me you want to be cheer captain again," Kim sighed.
"We've got bigger fish to fry, Kim," Bonnie said. "You're - friends with Ms. Go, aren't you?"
Kim blinked. She'd just been thinking of Ms. Go, but why was Bonnie bringing her up? "Sort of, yeah, why?"
"You have to do something about her. You have to make her stop."
"Were you aware that Ms. Go has singlehandedly killed three parties in the past three weeks?"
Kim was bewildered. "Huh?"
"Three of them," Bonnie growled. "She called the police on us every time, saying there was underage drinking going on."
Kim understood a little better what was going on now. Kim didn't drink, and she felt uncomfortable at parties where almost everyone else did, so her busy life, extracurricular activities, and missions made it easy for her to skip the party. But she knew there was about as much chance of stopping high school kids from drinking as there was stopping Mariah Carey from inserting an unnecessary high C-note into one of her songs. She let other kids make their own choices - or mistakes, depending on how you looked at it.
But if you believed the Go brothers , Kim realized with sudden dismay, Ms. Go would see it as more than a mistake. She would see it as what, corrupting minors? Encouraging lewd behavior and premarital sex?
"And before the police arrive," Bonnie went on, "she shows up, completely out of nowhere, no matter how out-of-the-way the party is, and makes a list of everyone with a drink in their hands. And she gives them three days' worth of detention on Monday. And a week to whoever organized the party! Kim, maybe you don't have a social life, but that woman is killing ours!"
She swallowed her irritation at Bonnie's barb. "And you want me to make her stop?"
"Hey, you're the one who says 'I can do anything'. She's making everyone afraid to get together on the weekend. Besides," Bonnie added, "she's officially become the most unpopular teacher at Middleton High. How do you think people are going to look at you if you're still pals with her?"
Kim could almost feel the food chain take a bite out of her leg. "All right, all right, I'll see what I can do."
There was a general sigh of relief, like Kim had announced that prom wouldn't be cancelled after all. The situation with Ms. Go, Kim saw, was serious. And now that she thought about it, there had been a bit of a wintry atmosphere at the school the past few days, people treating her just a bit differently. Guilt by association.
But if Ms. Go believed as passionately about the evils of alcohol as her parents allegedly did, Kim didn't know if she could accomplish anything. And if she couldn't, then what? Cut her ties to Ms. Go? Watch as her fellow students shut her out more and more?
Kim was about to follow her squad outside when it hit her. There had been one other student to treat her differently, and for no reason, since Ms. Go began teaching there. And it had been more than three weeks ago, so it had nothing to do with the parties.
She didn't know if Alex drank, but she was . . .
More troubled than before, Kim resolved to get more information as soon as cheer practice was over. Wade was a genius, but for this she would need Monique.
"You didn't know?" Monique asked, surprised. "Girlfriend, everyone's been talking about Ms. Go, Moral Crusader. I thought you were just, you know, trying not to let it show that it was getting to you."
"Come on, Monique, I need you to keep me in the loop on these things," Kim chided her. "I don't have enough time these days for gossip, between Ron and missions. Even with Drakken and Shego gone, there seems to be just as much evil out in the world."
"My bad, I apologize," Monique said as she reclined on her bed. "Bonnie really said you had no life?"
"Yeah. Uh, actually I have another question," Kim said. "Have you heard anything lately about Alex S.?"
Monique raised both eyebrows. "Obviously you need two Kimmunicators - one for Wade, and one for me. Because if you're asking me that, then you're not just out of the loop. You're not even on the freeway."
"Hello? Alex S. has decided she's straight now!"
What bothered Kim the most was that she wasn't entirely surprised. "She's what?"
"Straight. Hetero. Lovin' the man-meat, if you catch my drift."
"Drift? More like the East Australian Current. How do you know?"
"HIFTG, Kim. Heard it from the grapevine. Alex S. has made it known that she made a big mistake, that the gay lifestyle was totally messing up her life, that she changed her mind. And here gay people are always saying it's not a choice. I swear, there are enough jokes about how women can't make up their minds. If girls can't even decide if they're gay or straight these days, I shudder for our gender."
"How long have I been out of the loop on this one?" Kim asked.
"I don't know, two weeks? Maybe three?"
"Thanks, Mo," Kim said, although she couldn't quite muster cheer in her tone. "Listen, I'll call you back later for more dish. But I've got a mission to complete."
"Alexandra!" the older woman said. "One of your friends from school is at the door!"
"She'll be right down," Alex's mother said. "Won't you come in?"
"Thanks," Kim said. "Friend from school" wasn't entirely accurate, when Kim only knew where Alex lived because Wade tracked down the address, but if it got her into the house . . .
Alex came down the stairs just after her mother went back into the kitchen. She stopped two steps from the bottom when she saw Kim. "Uh, Kim. Hey. What are you doing here?"
"Alex, can we talk privately for a minute?" Kim asked. "It's important."
They weren't really friends, but Alex appeared unusually indecisive, like she didn't want to hear what Kim had to say. It was another brick in the wall Kim was building in her head. "It's about - Ms. Go," she added gingerly.
Maybe being gay - ex-gay, if you believed the news - made Alex good at covering her emotions, but Kim had been in too many battles to miss the moment of panic in Alex's eyes. "My bedroom," Alex said. "Now."
Kim followed her upstairs. She wasn't sure what to expect from Alex's bedroom. Nothing screamed "lesbian" when she got there, but then Kim had no gay friends. She glanced at the posters. Were hair metal bands from the 1980s a lesbian thing? High school private eye Victoria Mercury? Some show about a girl with no belly button and a lot of X's in her name?
Alex closed the door behind them. "All right, talk," she said flatly.
"Three weeks ago you were sick in the bathroom, and seeing me there bothered you," Kim began without preamble. "Almost as much as you are now. Why?"
"No one likes to have an audience when they're puking their guts out."
"Yes, but it didn't bother YOU until you saw it was ME. Again, why?"
"I don't see why I need to tell you."
"I hear you're . . . straight now," Kim said, lowering her voice for the last two words. She couldn't know if the mother was listening.
Alex was starting to look really angry, but there was still that underlying tension, like she was waiting for the shoe to drop. "Look, if you're here to give me a hard time - "
"Did Ms. Go - do something to you, Alex?"
"No," Alex replied. Awfully quickly.
"Was it green?"
Alex's mouth dropped open. "How did - no! You're trying to trick me!"
"A lot of people have been treating me differently lately," Kim said. "I found out today it was because I've been seen a lot with Ms. Go. I realized that might be the reason why you were so uncomfortable. Alex, whatever you say here, I won't repeat a word to anyone, ever." She paused. "Including Ms. Go. You're afraid I'm reporting back to her, aren't you?"
" . . . maybe."
Kim shivered. That one word had spoken volumes. That word meant "yes". Which meant Ms. Go HAD done something. "That's why you were throwing up, wasn't it? Ms. Go hurt you or threatened you somehow. Told you that homosexuality was a sin, right?"
Alex trembled. "She . . . she said my 'lifestyle choice' was corrupting other students, making them think it was okay. Because I was the first to come out, you know?"
"So she put the fear of God into you, no pun intended."
Nodding, Alex crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I thought I was seeing things. Her hands turned - they turned green, and they were hot, and she said . . . she said people like me burn."
The word "burn" helped Kim identify what she was feeling. It was horror.
"And she was just smiling the whole time, like she was my best friend and she was doing me a favor. But her eyes were so hard, and I could see she meant it. So, uh, so - I told a few people I wasn't gay any more. And I didn't deny it when the rumors circled back to me. And I b-b-b-broke up w-w-w- "
"It's okay," Kim said, feeling such compassion for her. "You don't have to - I just needed to know the truth."
"I was so SCARED. And I hear about how she appears out of nowhere at parties like a ghost, and I knew I couldn't tell anyone what happened, because she'd find out." Alex suddenly stopped, looking right through Kim, thinking of who-knows-what nightmare Ms. Go had conjured.
She'd conjured nightmares of her own for Kim. Why would Ms. Go stop with a few parties and one defenseless girl? Hego had mentioned bars, liquor stores, strip clubs . . . Ms. Go wouldn't be picketing them or lobbying City Council to rezone them out of business. She'd just burn them to the ground. And she wouldn't care about who she hurt, because it was all for the greater good. "Good" was what Ms. Go was all about now.
Suddenly Kim could understand the mindset of the suicide bomber. They saw themselves as "good" too.
The other girl blinked and looked at Kim. "What?" she asked, wiping tears from her eyes.
"You know I'm a hero, right? Save the day, that kind of thing?"
"Uh, yeah. Hello, Lil Diablos?"
"I'm going to make sure Ms. Go never hurts you again. And you can go back to being who you were meant to be. All right?"
Alex slowly nodded, looking a tiny bit hopeful for the first time.
Kim got out her Kimmunicator. "Wade? I need you to get me in touch with Hego."
"You want to help me change her back?" Hego asked joyfully through the Kimmunicator.
"Yeah," Kim answered, "but if I'm going to do this, I need you to be completely honest with me, Hego. Was Mego right? Are you doing this because you think you have a better chance recruiting Shego into Team Go than Ms. Go?"
Hego didn't reply at first. "Partly, yes," he said.
Kim groaned. "Hego - "
"That's not all of it!" he said quickly. "What I said before was true! She's been turned into someone she would never want to be, even before she became evil. And, to be perfectly honest, Ms. Go is a bit . . . disconcerting. She's too happy. I'm used to my sister snarling at me."
Kim shrugged. His motivations really didn't matter. She had her own, more compelling reasons than helping Hego. "Well, the tricky part will be getting our hands on another Reverse Polarizer. Buying an Attitudinator from Henchco is one thing. Getting it to Electronique while she's in prison is another thing entirely. I'm not sure - "
"Er, Kim, that won't be a problem. Electronique has been released."
"Well, my testimony after Drakken's abduction convinced the Prison Board that Electronique has been completely rehabilitated by the Reverse Polarizer, and that she can do the world more good as a free woman. I don't know how keen she'll be on using it to turn a good person evil, though."
"You'll have to lie," Kim said. "Tell her it's for the opposite, turning evil people good. She's said she'd be okay with that. I'll get to Go City as soon as I can."
"No, we'll take the Go Jet there. We'll have to bring the Reverse Polarizer back to Middleton to use it on Ms. Go anyway. I might as well save you a trip."
Kim nodded. "Drakken's last lair, the one where Electronique was being held, should still be unoccupied. I'll meet you there tomorrow."
"Yes! And thank you, thank you, Kim Possible!"
He shouldn't have thanked her just yet. Kim was going to do something monumentally stupid now. Something strategically unsound. Something she already regretted.
She was going to speak to Ms. Go. Kim owed her that much.
"Kimmie!" Ms. Go said, pleased, when she opened her door and found Kim waiting outside. "Come on in. I've just made some cocoa-moo, and I was about to go through wedding invitations catalogs. Did you know how many different shades of white there are?"
Kim followed her in and let Ms. Go close the door behind her. Also a bad tactical move, allowing herself to be with Ms. Go behind closed doors. Nothing to be done about it. "Ms. Go, we need to talk. And it's not about the wedding."
"Is it true you're punishing students for drinking at off-campus parties?"
Ms. Go looked quizzical. "Why yes, of course. It's very bad behavior on their parts. Maybe if they realize there are immediate consequences to their actions, they won't suffer the long-term consequences of habitual drinking. But you never drink. Why would you - oh, I see. You're taking heat from others, aren't you?"
"No - well, yes, but - that's not the point! You can't just impose your belief system on others when you're not at school."
Ms. Go chuckled. "Kim, I wish I could impose my belief system when I AM at school. Public schools are godless places, and the government thinks it's a good idea that I'm prevented from enlightening students."
Kim shivered as the words came out of her mouh. "Like you enlightened Alex?"
"Like I - " Ms. Go looked at Kim. "She told you."
Ms. Go's face darkened. It was a hard face, cold and merciless. "I warned the little dyke," she murmured. "There will be a reckoning."
"Ms. Go!" Kim gasped, horrified.
Ms. Go blinked, and then smiled at Kim. It didn't fully reach her eyes. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"
"You can't threaten students and tell them they'll burn if they're homosexuals!" Kim burst out desperately. "That's against the law - "
"The legal system is secularized and morally bankrupt."
"And it's wrong!"
"Well, that's your opinion," Ms. Go said primly.
"As opposed to what, your parents' opinion?"
Ms. Go clasped her hands behind her back. "You've been talking to my brothers."
"I've done more than talk with them," Kim said. "Hego and I are going to bring Shego back. But we're friends. I owed it to you to tell you to your face."
"You'd actually - " Ms. Go's composure slipped. "You'd unleash that sociopathic, thieving, disobedient whore on the world again! Do you realize how many people will be hurt by that? And their blood will be on your hands, Kim!"
"How much blood will be on yours if I don't stop you? Whose blood? Atheists? Gays? Jews? Come on, Ms. Go. Who were the targets when your parents told you that you were the right hand of God?"
Ms. Go shook her head. "Bad people, Kim. Sinners. People of impure thoughts. Hypocrites - like you."
"I'm a hypocrite?"
"Oh, come on, Kim," Ms. Go said icily. "It was okay to let Shego be turned into Ms. Go, wasn't it? It was all right for that Christ-killer you call a boyfriend to turn Electronique."
"Don't you dare talk that way about Ron," Kim snarled.
"Take a look in the mirror, Kimmie! Evil people were 'reverse polarized' without their consent or even a court order! And it was for the greater good! Maybe you didn't pull the trigger, but you let it remain that way, and you accepted it, and you liked it. Other than our definitions of good and evil, what's the difference between you and me?"
Kim flinched as the blood drained from her face. "No, I wouldn't - "
"I made a girl straight! You kept a girl nice! In fact," Ms. Go said cuttingly, "you kept a girl straight too, didn't you?"
The tiny uneasy feeling in the back of Kim's head that she'd been ignoring for weeks came roaring out like a bullet from a gun, and it had the same impact. Kim had . . . she had allowed a woman's mind to be rewired, a woman's personality, her identity to be altered into something completely different. Drakken had pointed out something just like this to her, but she'd dismissed it as the rantings of a villain. But he was right. She had no more right to pass judgment on others than Ms. Go did! And how long before she decided that since it had worked SO well for Ms. Go, why not do the same to Drakken and Monkey Fist and . . .
Kim looked down and saw she was no longer standing on wood floors. She was standing on a precipice, and there was a dark chasm in front of her. All she had to do was take another step. She'd save the world . . . and she'd be just like Ms. Go.
"You're right," Kim whispered.
"Kim," Ms. Go began.
Kim held up a hand quickly. She couldn't bear to hear another word from this person - no, this artificial construct created from kindness and generosity and bad memories and poisonous words inside a person's mind - this thing that had no business existing and was getting worse every day. "You want to save souls? Well, I want to save mine. Which is why I have to change you back."
And with that, Kim whirled, yanked the door open, and fled the apartment building.
That night Kim's nightmares gripped her too solidly to allow her to wake. The next morning she remembered dreams of blood dripping from clawed gloves while a woman smiled. Sometimes the smile was wicked, and sometimes beatific. Kim didn't know which was worse. She'd dreamt of friends and foes tied to marionette strings, and a church like a fortress where a Ms. Go with white streaks in her hair sent 'bad people' to re-education centers, and crucified those who resisted.
Kim thought of calling Ron, but she'd have to explain why she was doing it, and she didn't want to inflict this burden on him. It had been Ron who pulled the trigger on Electronique, after all. She didn't want to pile guilt upon his shoulders.
So she went to Drakken's lair alone. She'd been afraid of Ms. Go trying to stop her, but she never did. Maybe she was running. Or maybe Kim just had no idea where she was.
The Go Jet was once again parked outside like Hego didn't care who saw. But then Kim supposed there was no one to see this time.
Inside she found Electronique running a playful finger down Hego's cheek. "That's my beautiful boy," she purred at him.
The Team Go member and the reformed villain turned to look at her. "Ah, Kim Possible!" Electronique said brightly. "I see you have arrived. And Dr. Drakken? Hego tells me you wish to change him too?"
"He's in Cellblock D at jail," Kim lied quickly as Hego walked past her. "How long before the Reverse Polarizer is finished?"
"Oh, it is already finished!" Electronique held up the familiar, bulky device. "Hego obtained the Attitudinator from Henchco, and I modified it on the plane! Tests have confirmed that it is operational."
"Tests?" Kim asked.
From behind Kim, Hego suddenly locked both arms around her and hoisted her in the air, turning blue with the Go Power. Kim screamed and kicked her legs without success.
"As you can see, Hego is now evil. Again," Electronique said. And she smiled.
It wasn't a good smile. It was in fact a very, very evil smile.
"Electronique! You've been changed too!" Kim realized.
Electronique laughed mockingly. "Too? I never was, Kim Possible! Did you really think I would not take precautions while designing the first Reverse Polarizer? One wrong switch, one little mistake, and I would have turned myself good! Of course I couldn't have that! There's a special filament in my goggles that makes me immune to being polarized. When your idiot sidekick zapped me, I quickly realized that pretending to be good was the best way to get out of prison. Your Drakken could have made it harder for me, but instead he unwittingly made it much, much easier. They let me out, I turned Hego . . . and now I'm going to turn you, Kim Possible!"
Was this karma for Ms. Go, Kim wondered as she found Hego's arms were like a steel vise around her.
"Hego," Electronique commanded, aiming the Reverse Polarizer at a spot in the air several feet to his left., "throw her!"
Kim was suddenly, ungracefully hurled through the air. She tried to adjust her path in midair, but the throw was too strong and she just flailed against the air. No . . . Ron . . . it's up to you to save me!
Electronique fired, causing a beam to lance out from the Polarizer to the figure in the air. It scored a direct hit on her frame.
But it wasn't Kim Possible.
Kim landed on the ground with a thud. "Ouch," she muttered.
Shego, however, landed on her feet.
Electronique gasped. "Shego! What - how did you - "
"I - " Shego sneered and made a noise of disgust. "Ms. Go followed Kimmie here. Figured she'd stop you three from turning her back into me. But I guess protecting the world from an evil Princess was more important than protecting it from evil little ol' me. I'm insulted, actually. I am so much more dangerous than she'd be."
Electronique collected her wits. "You're right, of course. Now that you are evil again, Shego, you will join me in our gang of evil!"
Shego glared at her. "Why the hell would I ever work for you?"
"Eh - but - your brothers - "
"My brothers are sheep! They'll follow anyone who gives an order or two! No, rejoining Team Go ain't gonna happen. And me working with the woman who turned me into that mealy-mouthed, sweetness-and-light, creepy as all fucking hell Ms. Go?!" Shego activated her powers. "Maybe you should have built a machine that would make you smarter!"
Electronique didn't appear sure of what to do. She wasn't sure if she'd be better off with Shego or Ms. Go. Kim took the decision out of her hands, because there was still one person to change back. The person Electronique called now. "Hego!" the Go City villainess cried out. "Neutralize - "
That was when Kim swooped between them on her grappling-hook hair dryer and snatched the device from Electronique's hands. Landing, she spun and zapped Hego. The blue light left him prostrate on the floor.
Shego smiled and cracked her knuckles. "You won't like me when I'm bad."
Shego had nothing to say to her brother beyond a grunt. She left him there to wait for the police to retrieve Electronique and extradite her back to Go City.
Kim went after her, still carrying the Reverse Polarizer. The machine was the first thing Shego noticed when Kim caught up. "Sudden change of heart, Pumpkin?" Shego growled. "Realized you want Ms. Go back after all?"
"Of course not," Kim said. "But I won't destroy it either. Not this time. The blueprints are out there. Any villain - or misguided hero - could try to build one. I'm going to keep this in a safe place in case anyone gets changed. So I can change them back."
"Anyone?" Shego asked doubtfully.
"I wanted you changed back, didn't I?"
"Even though I've been stalking you so I can jump your bones?"
Something under Kim's eye twitched, and Shego's lips pressed tightly together. Then she couldn't hold it in. "Bwa-HAHAHAhahahaha!" Shego burst out, grabbing her belly and rolling on the ground.
"It's not funny!" Kim said, mortified.
"Of course it is! You believed that shit?!"
"Wait - it wasn't true?"
"Do you really think I would hide cameras in the bedroom of a seventeen-year-old girl? You think I'm a pervert?" Shego asked.
"Well, I suppose not, but why would she lie?"
"Doy! She said it herself, she was afraid you'd change her back! Ms. Go wanted to stay the way she was, but she thought those ethics of yours would kick in - eventually - "
Kim turned red with shame.
"So she made up that story about me being in love with you. Wanted the thought of changing me back to be as unappetizing as possible. And half-truths are always most believable. I have kept tabs on you. It's true that I don't want anybody defeating you but me. And if you asked my brothers if I was gay, they'd tell you about how when I was younger, I slept with practically everyone. Anything I could rub my parents' faces in, I did. I'm as bi as a two-dollar bill, Kimmie. I just don't want to sleep with YOU."
"Well, uh, good," Kim said. "I'm insulted, but it's still good."
Shego chuckled. "You'll clean up after Ms. Go at the school, right? You were right before, the things she did were wrong. If anybody's going to burn, it's stiff-necked, intolerant morons like her."
"What about Mr. Barkin?"
"Cripes. Forgot about him. Not that bad a guy, but I'm sure as hell not tying myself down. I'll have another talk with him. Bring the ring back. And maybe dogs. In case he sings."
Kim didn't want to know.
Kim put the Reverse Polarizer in the same secure location where the Battle Suit was kept safe. The next day, she and Ron were at their lockers when Barkin materialized behind them. "It's been brought to my attention that Ms. Go was in fact a certain internationally wanted criminal," he said.
"Who brought it to your attention?" Ron asked.
"A . . . certain internationally wanted criminal."
"Sorry, Mr. Barkin," Kim said.
"Hm. Stoppable, detention."
"Retroactive. Due to a few weeks' worth of P.D.A. in the hallways."
Ron felt like weeping. Now he too knew what it felt like to have your heart stepped on.
Most students assumed Kim Possible made Ms. Go disappear when the truth came out. Which was close enough to the truth. Monique told Kim that night that Alex had kissed her ex-girlfriend (soon to be ex-ex-girlfriend) while she was defending her during a basketball game at P.E. "You could say she scored twice," Monique said.
"Monique," Kim chided her, but she chuckled. At least Shego wasn't trying to score anything with her other than a critical hit.
That same night, Hego's face was buried in a beer at a local Go City bar when he discovered that his sister, his real sister, was sitting next to him. "Sis?" he asked.
"Thanks," Shego grumbled. "You wanting to change me back - more than I expected from you."
"Yeah, well, you know how lousy I am at adapting. Get used to a new Shego? Disaster." He looked down. "Electronique and I, we dated a few times. I thought she was good. And she played me. You ever find yourself wanting someone that you knew you could never have?"
Shego ordered a shot of whiskey and thought of a certain redhead. "Yeah."
A/N - This was written about 5-6 years ago and was one of those "philosophical exercises" where I basically was creating the story in my head as I went along. I mean, at some point I evidently forgot if it was called the Attitudinator or the Reverse Polarizer. (It's been so long, I can't remember.) Whatever it was called, I thought the show had a very oversimplified, black-and-white view of what equaled "good" and "evil". I mean technically, suicide bombers think of themselves as "good", don't they? The people in charge of the Spanish Inquisition didn't think of themselves as "evil", I imagine. So while Ms. Go might have acted nice, the device didn't necessarily MAKE you nice. It made you good/evil.
Shego was telling the truth about the hidden cameras. She's not a pervert. But like she said, half-truths are the most believable lies. And Hego, well, he tends to get portrayed negatively in fanfics, especially Kigo fics. I decided to give him a break. (And I threw in a whiff of Kigo at the end because that's how I am.)
I mixed in pop culture references to both the real and the fictional, but even the fictional is based on the real.
This was one of those stories where I got the idea, I wanted to explore it, but when I was finished, I didn't post it. Technically I was supposed to be retired at that point. Otherwise I probably would have, as opposed to some other things I wrote around the same time that just felt rushed and incomplete at the end.