Bad Girls Do
In this sequel to "Good Girls Don't", Kim takes extreme measures to escape her inability to stop worrying about the world.
Shego took a moment to think about it. She couldn't really take both the Caravaggio and the Degas. The Caravaggio was bulkier, but it was also worth more on the black market.
She had an Adamantium AMEX bill to pay. She took the Caravaggio.
After pilfering smaller valuables like jewelry and cash from a clearly inadequate safe, Shego rolled up the painting and stashed everything in her loot bag. Attaching the bag to a strap connected to her wrist, in the overwhelmingly unlikely event that there would be a chase on the way home and she needed her hands free, Shego slipped out of the private residence and made her way to the roof. The hotel was a few miles away by rooftop. She'd be back in a half-hour.
It wasn't exciting, but it was a living. Just like life was boring, but it was luxurious.
"Exciting" and "boring" changed almost as soon as she reached the top of the building.
"Weren't you, I don't know, ten pounds lighter when I saw you last?"
Shego froze. The actual insult itself hadn't filtered through her brain yet. She was paying too much attention to the voice. Slowly she turned to her left.
Kim Possible lounged idly against the door to the stairs that led back down into the high-rise. The hair was shorter, the boobs were bigger, the smirk - insufferably the same. Instead of the innocent-looking Battle Suit or the purple-and-black number she'd debuted a long time ago, Kimmie was wearing a very tight crimson body suit. The only identifying features were wide black horizontal stripes, one around her bosom and a second around her waist like a sash. Shego grunted. She looked fabulous.
Then she realized what Kim had said to her, and her jaw dropped. "Hey!"
"Actually, it might have been more like fifteen," Kim mused.
Shego was outraged, but she was also mortified. Kim's guess was depressingly close. She'd let her trademark catsuit out a little to accomodate the extra weight. The life of a successful international jewel and art thief was demanding, but nowhere near as demanding as that of a megalomaniac's sidekick. She didn't fight nearly as much as she had when she dealt with Kimmie on a weekly basis, and years of spas and massages and fine foods had gradually, inexorably left their mark on her waistline. Shego knew she was still stunning, but it was so much easier to look incredible when you were younger. "It's been six years, Pumpkin," Shego replied finally. "These things happen when you age."
"I suppose you can't complain," Kim said. "I hope I look that good when I'm thirty . . . seven."
Shego growled at her. Now that was several years too high! "You don't even look this good at twenty-three," she sneered.
Kim shrugged. "Six years," she said. "You've been off my radar for a long, long time, Shego. Since the Lorwardians, right?"
"Yep," Shego said. "Dr. D decided the medal made him a hero. And well, you can probably guess why I was a little sick of do-gooding at that point."
"Oh, I can guess," Kim agreed. "All those weeks as Ms. Go, and almost as soon as you go back to work for Drakken, the aliens arrive and turn him into a savior."
Shego's lips curled. She didn't like remembering Ms. Go. She preferred her own brand of evil to the kind her parents had preached. "Whatever happened to that girl Ms. Go terrorized, anyway?" Shego asked. "I'd hate to think she ended up married to some guy with lousy gaydar."
"Alex? I don't know," Kim replied. "She brought another girl to the prom, so I imagine she's still muff-diving to this day."
"Mu - " Shego didn't go on. The vulgarity sounded as alien coming from Kim's mouth as if she had begun speaking Lorwardian (if there was such a thing - Warmonga's English had been surprisingly good). "So what, you're here to take me in?" she asked, trying a new tack.
Kim laughed. "Sorry, no. Cat burglars aren't my problem. But then, I guess you knew that. You've done a good job of avoiding me, although I don't know why."
Shego knew why she'd started stealing from individuals, instead of museums and banks and galleries. It involved certain feelings that, even now, were coiled deep within her gut, like a sleeping snake that could still raise its head and rattle its tail. It involved a certain girl, and a certain boyfriend who Shego saw turn blue one day and become a god. It involved a realization that she could never compete with this man. She turned around and walked away from any crime that wasn't important enough to warrant a spot on Kim's extremely busy dance card. Kim Possible was too busy with terrorists and oppressors to worry about a thief.
"So why are you interrupting my heist then?" Shego asked.
Kim began approaching her. Shego activated her powers, and Kim stopped. "It's funny you mention Ms. Go. I'm sure you remember the Reverse Polarizer."
Shego stiffened. "No," she whispered. "No! You will never change me back into that, that - "
Kim rolled her eyes. "Of course not. That would defeat the purpose of me coming here. Actually, someone used the Reverse Polarizer to turn someone bad."
Shego was shocked. "You? Why the hell would you turn someone evil? Who was it?"
Kim just grinned. She spread her arms and made a slow three-hundred-and-sixty degree turn. "You like?" she asked.
Shock became sheer incomprehension. "You're lying."
"Not something I have a problem with any longer, but no."
"You - you used it on yourself?" Shego asked, unable to believe it.
Kim chuckled. "Want to hear a story, Shego?"
Shego nodded without realizing it.
"Once upon a time, there was a princess, and she was this incredibly good person, and she decided to become a hero, and she would take on the responsibility of caring for the world. And she met a prince, and they fell in love, and they would protect the world together. Until one day, when the princess realized how hard it was getting. She fought and she cared and she fought and she cared, but someone was always dying somewhere, and evil was always rising somewhere else. And she was sad.
"The prince, well, he didn't get it. It didn't get to him the way it got to her, because he wasn't driven to pile responsibilities and commitments onto his back. And well, yes, they loved each other, but he could be irresponsible and thoughtless and unbelievably dense. So the princess started to pull away from her prince.
"And then one day, the princess rescued all these men, women, and children who had been taken hostage. Captured the men responsible. Another glorious victory. But it wasn't so glorious for the eleven people who were killed. Three men. Six women. Two children. Nothing the princess could have done, it happened before she even got there. But she blamed herself anyway. She took it hard. She couldn't put it behind her, couldn't stop caring. The princess wasn't just sad, she was miserable and alone. So she drank. And she wished she could stop caring for a little while. And it occurred to her - if she was evil, she wouldn't care about anyone. So this poor little inebriated princess dug the Reverse Polarizer out of hiding, and she made herself stop caring."
Shego looked at Kim, appalled. She had related the entire story with dry eyes, and a sardonic expression, as if to say how little she thought of this pathetic princess. "And it worked."
"Yep. Those lives lost have no meaning for me. Not my problem. I'm free as a bird now."
"So you're evil now. I suppose you want me to help you take over the world?"
Kim chuckled. "Why the hell would I want to take over the world? Who needs the work?"
"But - but you're evil."
"Actually, I don't think I am. I think I'm bad, not evil. There's a difference."
Shego was having a philosophical discussion about the nature of good and evil with a Kim Possible with a reversed personality. Never saw THAT coming. "There is?"
"Mmm-hmm. 'Tonight I'm going to get wasted, have anonymous sex with a stranger, and then sleep until two the following afternoon, because it feels so good doing it' is a bad thought. 'Tonight I'm going to hurt people for fun' is an evil thought. Bad people aren't necessarily evil people. After all, you more than anybody should know that evil people can't be good people as well."
With that, Shego suddenly could begin to see where Kim was coming from. "So you're a bad girl now. Not an evil girl. That makes you what, naughty?"
"Naughty, uninhibited, selfish, self-indulgent, greedy, spiteful, catty, deviant - I think they all apply." Kim sighed. "Unfortunately, I'm also inexperienced. I want to make a splash with my new outlook on life, but the old Kim was just so boring and dull. I wouldn't know where to begin." She leaned forward. "So I asked myself who would. Guess who I thought of."
Shego actually felt a little pleased by this. It was nice to be wanted by certain people. Still . . . "I have my own life, Kimmie, or whatever it is you're calling yourself now."
"I changed my personality, not my name. I don't know why some people seem to think that a major transformative experience requires them to change their name."
"Uh-huh. Yeah, so why should I drag your newbie ass around to clubs and parties and the like?"
"Oh, please. We both know how much you'll enjoy seeing innocent little me as the bad girl. Who knows? Maybe we'll see which of us is the better bad girl."
"Is that a challenge?"
"You bet it is . . . fat ass."
Shego gasped, half-outraged and half-pretend. "Oh, just for that, I am going to knock your socks off!"
Kim smiled wickedly. "I hope you try."
"Damn it, I'm soaked!" Shego complained as they burst into Kim's hotel room, almost falling over with haste. "And me in my leather pants."
"And here I thought you were only happy when it rains," Kim said smugly. "I guess the song was wrong."
Shego glanced at Kim. Her shirt was practically plastered to her skin, revealing - unsurprisingly - that she wasn't wearing a bra that night. They'd each retired to their separate hotel rooms after the rooftop encounter, with Kim "promising" to meet Shego at a certain location in a seedier part of the city in thirty minutes. More than enough time for both women to dress to kill. "You're gonna catch a cold in that," Shego pointed out.
"Hmm. I remember the last time I had a cold. I believe we were drenched that time too. Does you on top of me ring any bells?" Kim asked naughtily.
She didn't need reminders. Kim had ruined the moment pretty effectively by sneezing germs all over her, but there had been a few seconds there where Kim was at her mercy. Shego had enjoyed the position of power, of holding her down, of their legs pressed against each other. "We could always - relive the moment," Shego suggested too casually.
Kim raised an eyebrow. "You want my germs?"
"Not exactly what I had in mind, although I suppose that would be unavoidable." Shego began unzipping her pants. "You're been a debauched little minx tonight, Kimmie, but there's one thing that would be the perfect capper - cheating on your husband." She sidled a little closer as she hooked a thumb in one of the belt loops on her pants and tugged down, revealing part of a black thong. "And with a woman, no less. Very risque. Very scandalous."
"Oooh," Kim breathed, eyes alight. "Well, you know, I'm Kim Possible. I can try anything. And do anyone."
Shego grinned evilly. "This is just casual sex, of course. No strings attached," she lied. She'd fantasized about this for years. But she had a feeling that if she let on this was anything more than a spur-of-the-moment fling for her, Kim would shoot her down.
"I've always wondered what a one night stand would be like," Kim said. "Let me just slip into something a little more revealing."
"I'm not sure that's possible."
"It is if I'm nekkid."
"Right, there's always that," Shego said with a laugh.
As Kim sauntered into her private bathroom, Shego slid off her leather pants and the tight green top, revealing a sexy black lace bra to go with her thong. She looked around. Both the hotel and the room were cheap. Either Kim didn't have the financial resources for something nicer, or she was keeping a low profile. Under the circumstances, Shego was willing to bet on "all of the above". When word inevitably got out about Kim's new hobbies, her nauseating family and friends would start looking for her. Hell, they were probably looking already, but they'd look twice as hard if they knew Kimmie had been in three different clubs, grinding against strangers and doing body shots.
They'd partied hard, and Kim had played dirty, being a total tease and leaving a line of guys in a haze of sexual frustration. Their girlfriends weren't too thrilled either, but Kim had delighted in getting between guys and girls, and putting the scorned women down with a look or a snide remark. Shego had gone along for the ride, drinking in the sight of Princess abandoning her self-righteousness. Kim had even snorted a line of coke in front of a wide-eyed Shego, only to declare a short time later that it couldn't compete with an adrenaline high. Shego had never used hard drugs, but she was prepared to agree.
There was almost nothing personal in the room. There was no suitcase, just a duffel bag, another sign that Kim had probably left Middleton almost as soon as she zapped herself with . . .
The Reverse Polarizer.
She reached out and picked up the black mechanical device, staring at it. "Why do you have this?"
Kim came out clad only in a towel around her waist and another covering her hair. "What?"
Shego stared at Kim, having never seen her topless before, and briefly forgot her own question. "This," she finally said, holding up the Polarizer.
"Oh, that," Kim said nonchalantly. "I certainly wasn't going to leave it behind, just so Ron or one of the others could 'save' me and blast me back to the wonderful world of All-Work-And-No-Play."
"Then why not destroy it then? Certainly you're not going to use it on yourself again."
"Well, I figured I'd go back to Middleton and have some fun with it. I'm thinking of zapping Ron, although there's a gamble that he'll just sit on the couch and play video games for the rest of his life. But I guess being a risk-taker is one thing the Reverse Polarizer DIDN'T change about me."
Shego didn't respond at first. "Stoppable? Why the hell would you want to spend the rest of your new life with him?" she asked, voice dripping with loathing.
"Who said anything about the rest of my life?" Kim asked. "I'll have some fun with him, and then I'll move on before he gets stale. Maybe Monique next, that girl knows how to shop."
"Hold on, time out," Shego snapped. "So what, tomorrow morning we just part ways and that's IT? Onto the next conquest? There is so much more out there I can show you!"
"Jesus Christ, I'm in the bathroom two minutes and you get all clingy on me," Kim muttered. "All I needed was for you to open the door for me. I can figure out the rest for myself. Fuck, I thought we agreed this was a one-nighter!"
"You are never going to find someone else like me out there!"
"Awww, did I hurt your precious ego?" Kim sneered. "I don't want to find someone else like you. I want new experiences, Shego, and after we fuck, you won't be one of them any longer. And while we're on the subject, if you had any pride left, you wouldn't be breaking into empty penthouses like a total amateur and letting your thighs go!" Kim's eyes traveled over Shego's body. "From what I'm seeing now, I hope you don't wear a bikini when you head for the shore!"
Shego felt her face grow flushed. Kim had made little remarks about her weight throughout the night, and Shego had taken it good-naturedly, thinking it an extension of the usual banter between them. Now, however, she realized it was just Kim's cruel streak. She just had to put down everyone around her, even Shego. "At least I wasn't riding myself into an early grave the way you were a couple days ago," she shot back.
"Hey, no argument from me," Kim said, shrugging. "I was dealing with bigger, much more dangerous fish than you."
Shego tried not to resent that remark, since it had been her goal all thee years to drop off Kimmie's radar.
"But if I ever decide I want a partner to enjoy my new life with," Kim went on, "trust me, it wouldn't be with a has-been like you."
Kim yawned. "Are we going to fuck, or are you going to continue having a hissy fit? I want to live my life, not talk about yours."
Shego growled. This was about as far from her fantasy as you could get! Kim wasn't sleeping with her for her - she was sleeping with her because Shego was A. a woman, and B. not her husband. And Shego had practically suggested it for those reasons! Was she really that pathetic?
Looking at what her life had turned into, Shego realized that yes,she really was.
"You know what I hate?" Shego asked.
"Hearing the truth you don't want to hear?"
That too. "No, you."
And she shot her.
I just threw away sex with Kim Possible so I could turn her into a hero again. Sounds like a lose-lose to me. Okay, meaningless sex. And frankly, Kimmie's a lot less fun when she's a total bitch. Still, probably something I'll regret later.
She had time to think this, because once the Reverse Polarizer beam had shut off, Kim had taken one look at Shego, turned an incredibly deep shade of red from her face to her feet, grabbed the towel that had pooled at her feet, and ran for the bathroom.
Shego tossed the Polarizer to the ground and kicked it so that it collided with the wall. Then she sat on Kimmie's bed, having nothing dry to put on, and waited for the resurrected goody-two-shoes to emerge from the bathroom. "I still look hot in a bikini, damn it," she groused.
Kim finally reappeared almost half an hour later. Her face was still red and blotchy. "Shego," she began as she scurried toward her bag, presumably to find something to wear.
"Save it, Pumpkin," Shego said bitterly. "Let's just chalk this one up to the Polarizer, like the last time. You're as much an adulterer and a hedonist as I am a gay-basher. We'll keep it between us."
"No, we won't," Kim replied sadly. "I need to tell my husband when I get home. I don't want to keep this kind of secret from him."
"Would you mind not blaming me for this? I don't want him to show up at my door blue in the face and lifting cars with his mind."
"You're not to blame," Kim sighed. "You gave me what I wanted. I'd have found it on my own anyway. In fact, if you hadn't come with me, I'd still be - her right now."
She had a point. "So, what happens the next time you put all the world's troubles on yourself and you crack?" Shego asked.
Kim winced. "Clearly mind-altering substances, natural or mechanical, are not the answer. Maybe I'll see a therapist before that happens."
"Couldn't hurt, Cupcake."
"What about you, Shego?" Kim hesitated. "When are you going to let me go and stop being alone?"
Shego almost swallowed her tongue. "What?"
"Come on, Shego. You would have circled the globe with me if I had been so inclined. And the sex was your idea. It's the first plausible explanation I've heard for you disappearing from my life in six years. You've been avoiding me, and not because you didn't want to go to jail. I thought you said Ms. Go lied when she told me you had feelings for me."
" . . . I don't remember what I said exactly, but if you think back, I think you'll see that I didn't give you a straight answer about that," Shego admitted.
"I wish I'd known sooner."
"Why? So you could leave your future husband and we could live in lesbian bliss together? We both know you don't feel that way about me . . . right?"
"You're right, I don't," Kim said softly. "I'm sorry about that."
"I'm sorry too."
"Your life must be so empty, Shego. Why haven't you found someone new to fill it with?"
"I hate to break this to you, Kimmie, but there are very, very few people out there like you. Don't let it go to your head." Shego shrugged. "But maybe I'll find a different purpose now. She was right, I am a has-been compared to what I was before."
"I hope that doesn't mean we go back to trying to kill each other, Shego."
"No. I don't know what that means, but not that, Kimmie."
Kim nodded and finished putting her shoes on. "I'm calling in a flight to Middleton as soon as I get to the airport. You're welcome to stay here until your clothes dry."
"Awfully big of you, Pumpkin."
Kim chuckled. "You know, speaking of 'big'," she said, hoisting her bag over her shoulder.
Shego groaned. "Please, no more weight reminders."
"Actually, I think you're one of those women who looks better with a few extra pounds." Kim actually winked at her. "I know I was."
"No more cutting glass with those boobs of yours, huh?"
A little of the color that had been leaving Kim's cheeks returned. "Yeah, right."
Then the door opened and closed behind her, and she was gone.
Shego leaned back. "Now we're even, Kimmie."
A/N - This story was written soon after "Good Girls Don't" and sprang from several sources. I wanted to think of a story where someone would actually want to use the Reverse Polarizer on themselves. I wanted to do a little more exploring into the difference between good, bad, and evil, and why using a machine to change someone's personality can't be as simple as the show would have you believe. I wanted to do an "evil Kim" story, but not the "Kim takes over the world" variety. I think that ground has been covered pretty thoroughly.
Mainly I just want to write stories that force Kim and Shego to interact. Not as lovers (not yet, anyway) or as bitter enemies, but rather that odd middle ground they would have found themselves on in the wake of episodes like "Mad Dogs and Aliens", "Stop Team Go", "Cap'n Drakken", and "Graduation". If you want to argue there's no Kigo subtext there, that's fine. But by "Graduation, Pt. Two", their relationship had evolved (yes, but into what?). Because that's what human beings do.
Unlike the first story, I envisioned something better in my head. I wish I was happier with this chapter. That's one of the main reasons I didn't post it here. If some of you were hoping for something longer, with scenes of Kim and Shego being bad girls and making out, I apologize, but that was never the point of the story for me.