"If I can't have you, baby, no one else in this world can."
-Jealous Girl, Queen Lana Del Rey
"Ew, you're so gross, you know what." He cringed as soon as his eyes drifted to psycho's boxers. Psycho just rolled his eyes and stood aside to let him in. I adjusted my cloth before he stepped into the room. Two duffel bags were slung on his shoulder - one of them was mine - while his hands were busy to carry some plastic bags with Starbucks' logo in front. "Oh... you two are getting back together, I see." The blonde Greek God threw us a knowing smirk seconds away after psycho closed the door.
Getting back together, my ass...
"What happen to your face?" I asked him instead, avoiding whatever topic he wanted to bring up. My brows furrowed as I paid him more attention. About three to four almost-healed bruises were there. What was with men and bruises today?
Jasper dropped those duffel bags and plastic bags on the small table beside the couch while stealing glances at psycho, looking amused as ever. The asshole himself cleared his throat. Uncomfortably.
"Well, someone seemed enraged when he found his girl was missing." My furrow deepened. What the fuck did he... Mouth fell open as I realized what he meant. I got up from the bed abruptly and approached him.
"He did that?" From the corner of my eyes, I saw psycho ran his hand over his already-tousled hair.
"No biggie." Jas shrugged.
I narrowed my eyes.
"He didn't stop there, did he?" They exchanged gazes. Right, I fucking knew he didn't. "How many broken bones? Did he shoot you?" The answer was clear as sky on their face. "God, who am I kidding? Of course, he did. Shit, I'm so fucking sorry, Jas."
"Relax." He... chuckled? At the time like this? Really, I mean, what the fucking hell? Sweet Lord, I was surrounded by lunatics.
"He almost killed you, my goodness." I claimed.
"Look, baby, it doesn't matter, he is okay now." Seriously? The fucker really had the guts to say that?
"He almost lost his life and you said 'it doesn't matter'? He's you friend, asshole. How could you do that?" I grabbed my hair in frustration while shaking my head. He is unbelievable.
"It was your damn fault." He retorted.
"You're sick." I sputtered.
"Okay, okay. Chill, people. Let's have some breakfast first, shall we?" Jasper cut us before the situation heated up. Too bad it already did. I was gonna say something toward that jerk's lunacy, but he beat me to it.
"I'm going to bathroom." Without looking at my way, psycho disappeared into the door. I didn't know either grateful or annoyed by his action. God, I really needed my nicotine.
"Hey, it's fine, really." Jas handed me the paper cup of coffee as we sat side by side on the couch.
"It's not." I snorted.
"He is just crazy about you."
"He's crazy already without me."
"Nah, he's crazier now."
We both were quiet for a moment. Only the sound of running shower could be heard in the background. I lowered my head and slowly sipped my coffee before turning to him. "How bad the disaster he made?" I glared at him as he just began to open his mouth, knowing fully what would come out of it. "Don't say it's okay when it's certainly not."
"Alright, alright, my majesty. I don't think you'll let this go, anyway." He took a deep breath and carefully lifted his hoodie up to the collarbone, finally giving in. I gasped loudly at the sight before me. The bruises were... fucking goddamn everywhere. At the first glance, I knew right away that it was much worse than Riley's. That guy was a fucking monster, seriously. I wondered how Jasper got to endure the pain. Hell, how could he even be here right now and not in the bed? He was walking around the city with those bruises all over his body? "Okay, the show is over." He released his hold of his hoodie and they were back to the hidden place. "And please, don't look at me like that."
"How could he do that? How could he hurt you? You're friends for fucks sake." I exclaimed.
"He is to me." Jas gave me a sincere smile. "But I doubt I am to him."
"Well, you need to know that 'friends'..." he made a quotation in the air as he said friends, "...are definitely off limits for him. Masen doesn't do friends. Hell, we are aware that he doesn't consider us more than a teamwork. He doesn't like to attach to anyone." His lips curled up slightly. "Until you. Even if he doesn't want to admit it, it's fucking obvious that he is attached to you, Allegra." I closed my eyes for a brief second.
"I know, okay? It's like you have this feeling to stay away from him, but trust me, he'll always have his way to find you. And we'll never dare to say no to him." He continued.
"You said it like he really needed me." I sniffed.
"He did, and always do." He laughed. Then suddenly his face turned into serious one. "You have to know how he was when he found out that you ran away. That guy was totally beyond... anger. His eyes were so fucking dark, screaming cruelness to the world. He could fucking kill me right then just easy. And he would. The others tried so hard to calm him down, saying we could find you in no time. Alice did it. She told us that you possibly returned to Michigan. It was said that you had some apartment there." He explained. "Seconds after we landed, he went straight to get you. But the moment he came back to us, he was... a total mess, much worse than before. I have never seen him that miserable in these three years."
I drank my coffee in big gulps, trying to duck the images. Was that true? Did it hurt him like it did to me?
He fucked six bitches.
I tightened my lips. How the fuck could it be called miserable?
Just then, the door was open and psycho stepped out of it with all of his glory. And only in his jeans. And that hang so damn low. With the sloppy undone button. He had towel on the head, trying to dry his damp hair. The fucker knew I was watching, yet acted innocent still. I stood up abruptly and grabbed my duffel bag, striding past him, straight to the bathroom. Fifteen minutes later, I was finished, wearing dark blue cropped sweater and leather mini-skirt that fell on my mid-thigh. He was still bare chest when I got out of there, sitting and talking with Jasper like an old friend.
I knew his intention.
And this pull was getting stronger.
I almost tempted to...
"Where the fuck are you going?" He was on his feet instantly as his eyes dropped to the lowest. I had my shoes on.
"Anywhere but near you." I scoffed. His jaw hardened.
"I thought we got over this." He said. Through his teeth.
"I don't know, Edward. Remembering you said something about fucking six whores in less than two days is just really... ew." I scrunched my nose in disgust.
"You fucking know I did it because I thought it was the only attempt to get you out of my mind." He snapped harshly.
"By selling yourself like that?" I scolded.
"Oh, here we go again..." Jasper muttered under his breath while rolling his eyes.
"Baby..." The growl that was heard sounded so fucking authoritative. He walked toward me. When he got too close, I jabbed his chest hard until he stumbled backward.
"Stay. The fuck. Away."
"You don't mean that."
"Of course, I do. You chea..." I trailed off immediately. What was I thinking, really?
"You what?" He looked annoyed. But I knew better. There was this cocky smile which was threatened to appear because of the word that almost slipped out of my lips. Thank God I hadn't said it yet. Everyone knew we didn't have any commitment or shit like that.
"I should check on Pete." I said casually, earning daggers from those beautiful emeralds. His body was radiating fierceness, enough to scurry away the devils.
"You're not going anywhere." He told in final tone. Instead of backing out, I strode further toward the door. "Baby, if you dare to step out of the fucking room, even just an inch, I swear I will... FUCK!" He cursed loudly nanoseconds after the door was slammed open. I sprinted through the dim hallway as if the death was chasing me. He was so close, I could tell. The adrenaline filled my body like an air. I was going faster and faster. The need to escape was too fucking much. But my effort crumbled into pieces when I felt a pair of hands snatched my waist.
"Get away frohmpfff..." He brought his palm to shut my mouth, drawing us closer in process as our body collided.
"You have, over and over, entered the dangerous territory of my patience, Allegra." His breath was harsh against my neck. I did the only thing I had in mind right then. Biting that palm. As hard as I could. Yeah, kinda Barbarian, I know. But again, what else the choice I had? He squealed and released me instantly. I barely made one move as some dead grip locked my wrists behind my back. His other arm was tightly around my neck, put it in headlock. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that." He dragged me backward forcefully, ignoring my noisy protests.
I didn't remember how we got to enter the room, only the next thing I knew, I was flung toward the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and locked us in. Eyes were so fucking intense. I instinctively held my chin up. Though my feet had its own mind to backing away. He followed every step that I took till I was cornered and placed each hand on the side of my head. We weren't touching yet I could feel those sparks radiating. I bet my soul he could feel it too.
"I'm not letting you go again." He growled.
"Ridiculous." I scoffed while diverting my gaze up to the ceiling for a second. "Are you even aware that I don't wanna be with you?"
"Like I EVER care about that."
"That's the problem, asshole! You never care about me!" I pushed him with all the strength I had. But as soon as my hand made contact with his bare chest, it was like burning with the fire. I laughed humorlessly. "Have you ever thought about my feelings, huh? When you did this? When you fucked up million times? When you took and threw me as you wished? You treat me like a goddamn trash and now you're talking like you fucking own me!" My breath became ragged when I finished spitting those words at him. He looked at me as if I just punched him in the fucking gut. Good.
"I..." His sexy lips parted but there was no word coming out.
"Save it, Edward. I don't wanna hear it anymore." I added. He cupped my face right away. So fucking carefully, tenderly, like I would shatter in no time.
"I'm so sorry." I grabbed his wrists to make him release me, but that fucker held me still. "I really am." I shifted my face to the side as his lips came near mine, making them land on my cheek. He inhaled deeply, frustratedly. "God, baby, you know what a fucking fool I am. Please forgive me." He wrapped his arms around me while tucking my head under his chin.
I didn't hug him back.
I didn't soothe his worry.
Because I wanna make him pay.
I wanna make him see that it was not that easy to get me back.
"I really should check on Pete."
His hands fell to his sides immediately. He retreated back, looking at me with this agony in his eyes. But that was only for a split second. 'Cause then everything that sat on the countertop was tossed against the fucking mirror, creating some cracks at it. I just stood there, gazing at him blankly, not even flinching. His body tensed in the ferocious way. Eyes in the darkest green.
"What do you want me to do?" He hissed harshly. "Fucking name it, baby." I brushed past him as if he hadn't said anything. Psycho pulled me by my shoulders. "Stop doing this!"
"Why do you even bother?" I sneered. "Tell me."
"I need you." His voice was angry and pleading at the same time.
"No, you don't." I said calmly. "You can always pick every whore on the street, Edward, and I can guarantee you that they are more than willing to have your company. So there is no fucking way you'll be lonely then. And I'm sure as hell you won't need me anymore."
"What? Wasn't I replaced that easy?"
"Good God! They were nothing, okay? Haven't I told you that you are the one?"
I choked a laughter.
"Step aside from the door. I have to go."
"You can't go to that prick."
"I can go anywhere I want to." My eyebrows were raised in challenge. He caught my wrist just in time it touched the doorknob.
"Don't." I tilted my head to the side, seeking something on his face. I found nothing but sincerity. But who knows? He could be anything but predictable. "Please."
"Till when?" He looked at me confused. "Till when you finally realize that we don't fit?" His body stiffened instantly. "Wake the hell up, baby." My tone was so soft, like I was telling a kid to behave or something. "You've been in the dark too long."
"Oh yeah? Is that your best theory to keep me out of your life?" He stepped forward. I narrowed my eyes, watching him warily. "Because it will be so fucking easy for me to break it. I will... gladly show you how fit we both are." His index finger grazed my chin suggestively. I didn't look away from those piercing eyes. Somehow I knew what he would fucking do before it even happened.
He grabbed my ass and lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist. It was unconsciously, I swear. As if my body was drawn to him every time he made a move. I tried to push him as his face was buried on the crook of my neck, sucking in breath. Psycho didn't stop there, of course. His mouth found a way to my skin and marked it possessively. I cried out when the pain struck me. My hands kept tugging that bronze hair, wanting so bad for him to leave my neck already.
"No one can have you but me." He growled. "Only me." His nail was digging into the flesh that was just left by his mouth. "You're mine, baby. Forever mine." He whispered darkly the moment I felt his fingertip poke that bruise. Playfully, painfully. I bit my lip so hard it would bleed.
The scary smile appeared before he grabbed me by my neck, crushing his lips to mine. I swatted his hand away. He rewarded me by pressing my body harder against the fucking door until there was no distance separating us. I fought still, cocking my head to the side to escape that hungry mouth. He grasped my hair and pulled it roughly to bring me closer, making me scream in response. Those lips kept on consuming my soul. No matter how much they felt the denial. His kiss was kinda depressed. Hell, I even smelled fear in it.
He finally pulled away. But his next movement caught me off the guard. He scrunched my skirt up to my waist. Hands resting on my thighs. Eyes landing on my lacy panties.
"What are you doing?" I snapped in horror as he began to unzip the damn zipper.
"Making you see how perfect we are together." Snort. Out. Loud.
"Perfectly disaster, you mean?"
"You're made for me."
"In your fucking dream."
"Careful, baby." Our nose was touching. His eyes were burning.
"Really, Edward? Do I look like I still have the desire to touch your dick after what those whores did to it?"
The fucker shrugged nonchalantly. "You don't wanna touch? I'm fine with that."
"Do you think I will let you fuck me?"
"This." I threw my head back when he barely slipped a finger inside my pussy. "Tells me that you fucking will." My breath hitched as I felt my panties was moved to the side. Just in time he would reach for his dick, the bangs on the fucking door interfered, assaulting our ears mercilessly. "WHAT THE FUCK, FUCKER?!"
"Masen, he is on the phone." Jasper hesitated.
"Who?" He asked impatiently.
Yeah, I know it has been almost a month since the last post, but... you know, I had - and still have - stressful weeks and midterm was... kinda suck. Real life is not so kind recently and I start to hate it. I just want you to know that your reviews are the ones keeping me alive. They mean so much for me, seriously.
Thank you and love you. Always.
Long live Queen Lana.