Kami Nomi zo Shiru Sekai and all related elements and characters are the property and creation of Tamiki Wakaki.
Akamatsu Ken owns Mahou Sensei Negima and Love Hina.
All other mentioned works of fiction are the intellectual property of their creators or the corporations that legally stole said rights away from them.
OverMaster doesn't own either of them, and he isn't making a single cent out of this.
No celebrities, children, virtual idols or animals were harmed in the making of this fanfic.
This is set in a parallel universe of sorts to Unequally Rational and Emotional, starting shortly before the Mahorafest arc. Meaning everyone and their dog is studying at Mahora. Differences include Belldandy being the goddess to attend Keiichi's call instead of Skuld, and Ranma being Haruna's older brother instead of her father.
Keima is just a regular galge-obsessed boy at this point, at least as regular as Keima ever can be, and Elsie hasn't entered his life yet.
THE GAMES THE GODS PLAY.
Yggdrasil, the Home of the Gods.
"Welcome back, Your Eternal Highness," Peorth fell to one knee before the returning Allfather, Tyr, kissing his outstretched hand delicately. "I trust everything went well during your visit to Belldandy and her sisters?"
"Indeed," He said, then paused to look into his splendid celestial robes. "Oh. No, wait. It seems I have left my favorite dating simulator at some point of Mahora..."
Peorth blinked. "Huh?"
He smiled benevolently. "Well, you know how it is. You just have too much in your mind when you have omniscience. It hardly matters, I can get myself another one..."
Some sort of highly developed special sense alerted Katsuragi Keima when he passed next to the bench where someone had left a colorful game case. The young man stopped playing his PFP for a moment to pick the strange, alluring game that seemed to call for him.
"What is this—?"
It had to be a fanmade game by someone with too much time in the Game Development club, he deduced after the first two minutes of starting it. It had a staggering variety of languages to select, including Japanese, but all the info on the developers was in a strange nonsensical language that seemed to be written in runes. Even weirder, however, was the fact the game offered not the single average protagonist, but several options of male leads, all of whom was, Keima supposed, students or teachers at Mahora.
He recognized Negi-sensei, of course. He also recognized Saotome, because even he couldn't ignore the brawls that guy had all over the school, not to mention the rumors on his cross-dressing. And there also was that Ikari kid in the class of Keima's aunt Misato, the one she liked to talk about so much. Other than those, the options were people he thought he might have seen somewhere (in truth, he often crossed paths with them, even if he never actually looked at them). Their names meant little for him. Kyon. Itou. Tate. Yuuki. Masaki. Kosaka. Kurosaki. Morisato. Tohno. Emiya. Sagara. Harima. And several others, but the creepiest part of it all was there was even a slot for him. When he tried it, however, the game showed an access denied glitch. Well, he guessed it was normal if they hadn't finished his route in a prototype. After all, who would ever be interested on a romantic story starring him?
Everyone else seemed to be playable, though. But covering all routes, with every girl every boy had as an option, would take him too long and the release of the next Yokkyun game was close. So he decided, undaunted and smiling, to just tackle this mysterious challenge by handling all options at once. After all, he was the God of Conquests! And the game allowed saving concurrent files for all males at once. By alternating between them, he could get every option done in almost no time!
"All right!" he told himself. "Let's do this!"
He hummed pleasantly to himself as he walked between young couples in love, which seemed to be everywhere as the School Festival approached. That game was surprisingly enthralling and complex for a fan creation. He almost wanted to look for the developers and shake their hands, but he was aware asking around could only get him in problems.
Now, if only those annoying lovebirds who seemed to be everywhere making disgusting kissy sounds would keep it low enough for him to actually listen to the game's dialogue. He couldn't even tell what they were saying, because of what they were saying...
If he had bothered to actually think about it, maybe he would have noticed it was because both sets of sounds matched too much. Intelligent as he was, when he didn't focus on something, it flew way above his head...
Peorth's right eyebrow twitched as she watched from above. "Shouldn't... Shouldn't we try to...?"
The Almighty smiled. "No. Look at him. He's trying his best to avoid all Bad Ends. He is a completist, yet he refuses to make those under his control unhappy. Even if it would result in an one hundred percent completion. He is to be trusted with it."
Peorth was too intimidated to remind Him of how He never had any trouble with unlocking the Bad Ends.
"Well," the Almighty said, "it comes with being above good and evil..." He produced a card reading 'Omnipotent Morality License' out of His robes, in a casual, affable way.
And He read minds, too. Why did Peorth keep forgetting that? Oh yes, right, because He wanted it so. No doubt He enjoyed those reactions from her...
Keima was mildly disturbed by the time the scenes began becoming steamier, and bars and settings indicating an H-Mode upgrade appeared on the screen. He prided himself on being a true follower of the classic path, not a filthy eroge pervert, so he was reluctant to keep playing at first, but then, his even bigger pride of never leaving a game without finishing reasserted itself.
Since Library Island offered the best places to play hidden away from intruding eyes, he as there by the time he hit Negi's first H-event. He was utterly freaked out by the idea of anyone thinking of such a scenario, so he decided just to skip the event and keep playing at home, since it was getting late.
However, even a skipped event still technically does take place in-game, just off-screen. And so, as soon as he had left, the groans and moans of Negi with the Library Quartet (Nodoka-san, Yue-san, Haruna-san and Shiori-san) started coming from the next aisle...
The game also had a mind breaking amount of mini-games, which depended on the playable character being handled at the time. Tate's 'Survive the Himes' Cooking' minigame had been, Keima had to admit it, quite amusing on its own. Katsuragi had never been crazy over mini-games, but he respected them as a necessary challenge for upgrading your stats, and did his best at them.
Sitting behind a concealing bush and hunchbacked over the game, he struggled with the 'Negi vs. Chao' mini-fighting game as the madness of the other students taking part in some stupid 'Mars vs. Mages' wargame raged on across the campus. When would they learn? One of those days, someone was going to get hurt! And the childish way they staged a conflict over 'magic', when the game featured its ethical dilemmas that much better, with such compelling and well crafted poignant dialogue between Game-Negi and Game-Chao. O, for the day everyone would learn they would be much better just playing galge!
(Keima was deadset on steering events for the 'Magic is revealed' route, by the way. If his suspects were right, he'd unlock a whole new world of fantasy-style conquests! Besides, if such a thing as magic was real, he'd hate for it being hid from him. After all, magic could be used to develop so many, so much better galge, it'd have been a crime to keep it secret!)
"Otameganeeeeeee!" that annoying Chihiro girl from his class shouted at him, moments before a strip beam from one of those stupid robot things hit her. "We could use your help her— KYYYYAAAAAA!"
"You're doing fine on your own!" he huffed, hiding deeper into the bush so the stripping robot passed over him without targeting him...
Keima sighed in satisfaction as all of the Festival events were finally cleared out. The others cheered as well, in their own idiotic ways, fireworks all over the Mahora sky, and an unusually large and red Mars shining over the World Tree. Keima had little use for the Mars thing, however. Right now, he was too tired. He had managed, against all hopes, not only to defeat Chao, but convince her to join the list of conquests and clear Negi-sensei from betrayal charges. What a deep, powerful storyline! But so exhausting to...
He fell asleep inside of his bush.
"— preliminary treaties being reached between the UN and the coallition of governments from this so-called 'Mundus Magicus', which—" the TV news were saying.
"Keima!" his mother chided him. "I can't believe you! The biggest event in the history of mankind, and you're missing it just for that game!"
He nodded blandly. "Ah-hah. Sure. We're recording it, right? Then it's not a problem, I can... watch it later, yeah..."
These diplomatic events were very deceivingly difficult, and that was not even counting the sidestories with keeping Itou from being murdered, and how to keep Kitsu-san from attacking Itoshiki-sensei and the rest of his haremettes, and solving the Hime Game, the Rozen Maiden game AND the Holy Grail War at once without getting anyone killed. Well, maybe just the creepy priest.
All in a day of work for a God!
"Keima!" his mother said. "Are you really telling me you have no interest on this whatsoever?"
"Um, sure I do! I'm sure we can get important discoveries from that people!"
He wondered how would magically powered galge be like, actually. Well, now there was a real reason to look for the future!
Oh! He had just unlocked a whole academy of otherworldly magical girls! Beast girls! Tsundere pink haired pettanko! With Zettai Ryouki! And a riding crop whip!
Life was good...
There it was. He gulped as he exited the academy that afternoon. After conquering every girl in every route, and even the (shockingly numerous to Keima's discomfort) gay options, the game joined all paths into a single one. And a single final event he'd have to clean through. A single misstep and all the harems would explode against each other, and all of his progresses would be lost.
He advanced in sweaty silence across the overcrowded front of the academy, oblivious to everyone much like they were oblivious to them. He didn't register the angry accusations the idiots were tossing on each other, the threats, the furious exchanges. No one was talking to him so why did he have to care? All of his attention had to be on that dangerous, delicate concentration of forces in the complicated final 3D environment. He had to play every card carefully and with the utmost grace. He had to select every correct option, not even missing a single one. He had to calibrate his avatars' words and actions like never before, to defuse the situation before it was too late.
He had to make everyone happy.
Katsuragi Keima breathed deeply, cleared his mind into a flawless Zen state, a nd worked his divine magic. No finger on a button was wasted. His hands moved gracefully, as his fingertips pressed exactly where they had to, and the pointer clicked on every correct option. There were no doubts anymore. No hesitation. No looking back. The most epic love and friendship speech was pronounced, as the boy with no friends walked across the suddenly stunned crowd, who were staring up at the idiots talking to them, prey of a imbecilic lovesick fascination.
Keima had achieved it. He had reached the perfect ending. Manly tears overflowed from his eyes, staining his glasses, as he walked out of the school. He sniffled to himself, moved by the beauty of it all, of how he had conquered every single heart, in his no doubt greatest achievement to date. The game was complete.
Well, except for the massive H-scene that ensued, but he had no use for those, so he skipped the scene and walked down the sidewalk towards the train station, checking on the end credits instead. Bummer. They were in the same runic nonsense!
He was so distracted he failed to notice the loud sounds of ecstasy coming from behind him, and the clothes being tossed around in all directions, even when some panties landed on his head.
That night, Katsuragi Mari's face was stark white as she heard the news over the phone. "Oh God! Even Misato-chan? Oh, my husband will be so... Uh, Keima? N-No, Keima-kun's here! He's been here for hours!" She looked over to where her son sat on the couch going over his newest Yokkyun game. "Keima!" she called out. "You didn't notice anything... strange today at school, did you?"
"Hmm? Ah, no, no. I didn't."
Mari sighed in relief. Then she asked, "Those panties you had on your head when you arrived..."
"I told you, it must have been the wind. People tosses all sorts of crap nowadays." He kept staring at the screen.
Mari nodded before answering the phone again. "Yes. No, I'm pretty sure he hasn't. My Keima isn't that kind of boy. Well... you know him!" she sighed somewhat sadly now. "Uh-huh. Well, yeah, I'll tell him that. Thanks. Good night."
As she hung the phone, she took her glasses off, and her sweet expression became that downright fearsome one she had whenever something irritated her. "Keima," she said icily. "I'll talk with your father first, but... We're moving you away from Mahora."
Now that was sufficiently abrupt and unexpected to startle even him. "Eeeehhhhh?-! Why?-!"
"Nothing you did, dear. It's just..." And here she clenched her teeth, "There are just way too many perverts in that damn place!"