…..Uh, hi again? Well this time it only took me a little over a year to update. If I keep going at this rate, my next update with me in about four months or so. Ha. I just want to take moment to say that I really appreciate you guys sticking with me for as long as you have. This year will mark my sixth year writing this story. If I do say so myself, I think I've come a long ways.



"Child, wake up."

'Are you really going to do this? I mean, c'mon. You stubbed your freakin' toe. You act as though an orc shish-kabbobed the sucker for you.'

I groaned and tried to open my eyes. Then, ever so slowly, I attempted the world's stupidest move.

I sat up.

I let out a sound somewhere between a tea pot boiling and a buck elephant's mating call.

"Oh, good. You are awake. Now then. Carry on, Faramir," I heard from somewhere above me. From someone that sounded suspiciously like Gandalf.

I finally successfully managed to open my eyes and was greeted by six different faces staring down at me from above.

"What happened?" I managed to choke out as I attempted to sit up again. I'm quite proud to say that I didn't give off a mating call this time.

The Boromir-look-a-like muttered, "You fainted."


"You fainted from a stubbing of the toe."

I finally managed to stand on one foot, hopping around rather hopelessly. I was just going to go at the nut-cup wearing mad-man, when I felt a small hand steady me.

"Are you all right, Emily?"

I looked down into Pippin's concerned eyes and sighed. I guess I would save the mad-crazy ninja moves for another day. That man better watch it. Who wears a nut-cup in this day and age?

I started glancing around, expecting the Monty Python players to appear at any given moment and launch into song and dance.

"That would just about figure too," I muttered to myself.

'You're doing it again.'

I jerked my head up and looked around, "What? Huh? What am I doing again?"

'Talking out loud to me, moron.'


Once again, I had managed to command the attention of those around me. It wasn't the good attention either. It was the attention that other parents give the child in the kindergarten class who is sitting in the corner eating the paste. As with those lucky parents, all you could see in any of the peoples' faces was, "I'm so thankful that's not me." Or "I'm so glad I never dropped my child on his head that hard."

God damn it.

I finally focused my attention on Pippen, but he was already distracted. Faramir, whom I took to be the man who had such delusions of grandeur about his genitalia, was staring at Pippen so intently, I was afraid that Pippen was about to be eaten.

"Whoa there, pard'ner," I said as I shifted myself in front of Pippin. "It's one thing to use your genitalia as a weapon of mass destruction, but actually attacking someone who is half your size it just plain bad form."

Just then, Gandalf decided to pipe up, "Faramir? This is not the first Halfling to have crossed your path?"

Faramir just gave a slight shake of his head, "No."

I was on him like white on rice.

I had managed to catch him by surprise, so I actually managed to slam him back against the wall before I had too many swords pointing at my head.

"That's all you have to say to that question?! 'No.' No? NO! Who the hell do you think you are? Seriously, who the hell do you think you are? You had better spill some beans or some other food stuff fast before I gut you with my fingernails!"

I'm quite proud to say that it took four fully grown men to peel me off Faramir.

Once I was effectively subdued, (one of the men felt it necessary to sit on me), Pippen joined the conversation.

"You've seen Frodo and Sam?"

"Good God, Pippin. As if you really had to ask that question after I just went all freaky on him…" I just sighed. Captain Obvious, that one.

"Where was this? When? Answer me, Faramir!"

For a moment, I thought Gandalf was going to take a page out of my book. Apparently, Faramir thought the same thing and finally spilled those beans I was so desperate to get at.

"In Ithilien, not two days ago. Gandalf, they've taken the road to the Morgul Vale."


'Shut up! I'm trying to listen!'

"You shut up. I'm trying to listen too!"

The man sitting on me shifted around to give me a funny look.

"What? My horse wasn't leaving me alone."

He stood up and backed away very slowly.

I tuned in just long enough to overhear Gandalf commanding Faramir to tell him everything. I leapt to my feet, (once again shrieking), and attempted to shuffle after them as fast as my one and a half working feet would go. I made it about three feet, before Gandalf spun around.

"You have caused enough of a delay! Go!"

And then he made a shooing motion.

A shooing motion.

"Well fine! I'll just go be important elsewhere! See if I care! I don't need to hear about your uber-important details about if Frodo and Sam are still alive!"

I waited about six point four seconds after they had rounded the first bend before I started after them.


"How many freaking spirals do they have in here?" I puffed out between gasps.

'A lot. If you hadn't noticed. I believe my final count was fifty six.'

"You know, arrogance is not becoming. It's a good way to be turned into glue in fact."

'Oh pssshaw. You're just jealous that it only took me twelve minutes to make it all the way up and back down to the gate. It' s been what? An hour since you started?'

I said something very un-ladylike.

Babes just laughed.

Why do I feel about as threatening as a midget with a feather some days?

I turned my attention to the massive doors in front of me. As Babes had said, it only took me an hour, but I had finally managed to reach the top of the city. I crossed the courtyard to a bench in front of a dying, white tree and flopped down. I laid there for what must have been about a half hour and had even managed to dose off for a bit when I heard raised voices floating through the citadel's windows.

"I will not yield the river and Pelennor unfought! Osgiliath must be retaken!"

I sat upright and none-too-stealthily attempted to overhear more. That got some disapproving looks from the guards. I smirked and scooted closer to the building.

The voices had faded again and all I heard was faint murmurings. I tried to listen for a while longer, but wasn't hearing much more. I had just stood up to begin my walk back down the city to my building, when the door of the citadel crashed open.

Faramir stepped into the opening and then turned. Over his shoulder he called, "If I should return, think better of me, father."

At that he started walking again. I think he was too far away, but I heard the faint reply from who I very intelligently assumed was his father.

"That will depend on the manner of your return."

That's when I put together the fact that Boromir had once mentioned that his father was the steward of Gondor. I was in Gondor. Faramir just called the man holding court in the citadel "father." Faramir was Boromir's brother.

Wow, and I thought my family had issues.


After Faramir's departure, I hung around the courtyard a little while longer. I had been in Middle Earth for I don't even know how long, and I was feeling deprived of my shows. This was as close to Springer as I was getting for quite some time. I walked a little across the space and stared out towards Mount Doom.

Suddenly, some movement in the valley caught my attention. There was a small settlement down there that I had never noticed before. I shaded my eyes against the sun and squinted. I could just barely make out many tiny figures racing around down there. I stared a while longer until I gave myself a splitting headache, but I was still not able to make out what those figures were.

'They're orcs.'

My eyes widened in disbelief.

"This close to the city? Really?"

'You really are naive sometimes, aren't you? Just over those ridge of mountains is Mordor. That's where all the orcs come from. Where they come from in there, I'm not sure. But frankly, I doubt it involves a cabbage patch.'

I snorted back laughter at that one.

"Why are they letting the orcs get so close?"

'Did you seriously not comprehend any of the conversation you just overheard? My God, dear. You are a blonde in disguise.'

I stopped a moment and thought back to the exchange between Faramir and his father. Then, as if on cue, I heard the rattling of harnesses from below me. I looked down into the streets of the city and saw what looked like a long procession of men heading towards the city gates.

"You don't mean…." I trailed off in disbelief.

'Yes. I mean just that. Faramir's committing Hari Kari. But, without the cool fighter jet.'

I set off at as close to a run as I could manage.


I skidded around the last corner and finally came within view of the city gate. All of the men were clustered around it, looking more like terrified boys than men. Hell, some of them weren't more than boys. I noticed the street was littered with white blossoms. The whole city had turned out to see the last of their soldiers. The citizens were letting their soldiers kill themselves.

'Emily! You have to do something!'

"I know, Babes! I know. But what can I do?"

'Find Gandalf!'

But, oh, that was easier said than done. I started brutally shoving people out of my way, but there were so many of them, I couldn't get anywhere close to the gate. After getting more than a few elbows back in my face, I gave up that route and started looking for something to climb up on.

"Please let me find something," I muttered as I looked around frantically. "Hell, I'll even take a trellis at this point. Anything!"

Finally, I spotted a cluster of boxes that were leaning up against a building. It looked like some drunken giant got tired of playing with his Tinker Toys, the way they were scattered about, but at this point, I was not concerned with my own safety. I had to try to save Boromir's brother.

I clambered up on the boxes as high as I could go and started screaming my head off for Gandalf. The noise of the crowd was too much though. I could see Gandalf furiously gesturing to Faramir and shaking his head emphatically, but apparently he was too wrapped up in what he was doing to pay me any attention. I stopped screaming and just watched while Faramir brushed Gandalf off and dejectedly gestured for the city gates to be opened.

Just then, someone on a higher balcony dropped a blossom and it floated to the ground in front of me. As it settled, a song came to mind and I started singing it as loudly as I could. Just as I figured, people closest to me stopped talking. Soon more and more people were silent as they listened to my song.

"Been given twenty four hours
To tie up loose ends
To make amends.
His eyes said it all
I started to fall
And the silence deafened.
Head spinning 'round
No time to sit down.
Just wanted to
Run and run and run.
Be careful they say
Don't wish life away,
Now I've one day.

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time

In twenty four hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight.
I'm not messing, no, I
Need your blessing
And your promise to live free.
Please do it for me.

Is there a heaven, a hell?
And will I come back,
Who can tell?
Now I can see
What matters to me.
It's as clear as crystal.
The places I've been.
The people I've seen.
Plans that I made,
Start to fade.
The sun's setting gold,
Thought I would grow old.
It wasn't to be.

And I can't believe
How I've been wasting my time.

In eighteen hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight.
I'm not messing, no, I
Need your blessing.
And your promise to live free.
Please do it for me.

In thirteen hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight.
I'm not messing, no, I
Need your blessing.
And your promise to live free.
Please do it for me.

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it.
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it.

And I can't believe
How much I've wasted my time.

In just eight hours they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight.
I'm not messing, no, I
Need your blessing.
And your promise to live free
Please do it for me.

In just one hour they'll be
Laying flowers
On my life, it's over tonight.
I'm not messing, no, I
Need your blessing.
And your promise to live free.
Please do it for me."

As the last note slowly faded, no one in the crowd moved. No one spoke.

"No one expects you to be your brother, Faramir," I said. "You are your own man. Do not throw your life away."

Even from this distance, I could see the tears on Faramir's face as he turned to me. He met my eyes for what felt like the longest moment of my life.

"Yes. They do."

And with that, he wheeled his horse around and thundered out the gates.

'Hmph. He's just slightly disillusioned.'

"Thanks Babes," I sighed as I wiped the tears from my eyes.


Well, I didn't end this one on quite as happy of a note, but this was not a happy moment in the movie. I'm sorry that the chapters really aren't covering much ground anymore, but I feel that I need to be as thorough as I am to really represent how Emily is coping with these situations.

The song I used was "24" by Jem.

You know what to do.