[AN: make sure you've read the first part of the YD trilogy (found in my profile) before you start this one!]

"I'm positive it happened," I said knowingly.

"Don't you think if it had happened that, I dunno, maybe we wouldn't even be here to talk about it?" that bitch replied.

That bitch was my best friend, Plaen. She kept rambling on against my beliefs so I decided to stop listening; no matter what solid arguments she had I knew I was right. As she blabbed I looked in the mirror that hung on my wall. One of my favorite hobbies was checking out my appearance and making sure I didn't look sloppy. He taught me that.

"There aren't even any Angel types," she continued, rudely trying to interrupt me ignoring her. I just rolled my eyes and started to brush my Animal-Crossing-New-Leaf purple hair off my face, placing each strand strategically to maximize the impact of my cheekbones. Whenever I looked in the mirror I had to blink much more often than normal people as my stunning gold irises reflected light like the back of a compact disk waving in the sunlight.

"And now you're not listening," Plaen sighed, slouching over.

"What do you mean 'now'? I haven't been listening for a while," I replied, sass ejaculating from my very pores.

"But you really should listen. Everyone's concerned you're taking that story a little too seriously."

"I don't give a fuck, plain," I answered. She thought I was just saying her name but really I was remarking on her appearance. Being able to insult people to their face without them knowing is very cathartic which is one of the reasons I chose Plaen as my friend. Usually you'd see someone like me hanging out with popular and beautiful people but unfortunately I was the most popular and beautiful person in town so I didn't have that luxury. Plaen was definitely appropriately named but she wasn't as stupid as the other townsfolk so I settled on her. I saw she was about to start talking again so I turned on the radio just as Rihanna's song We Found Love came on.

"Yellow Diamonds in the light," she sang banally.

"See," I gloated, "why would she make a song about a story that wasn't real?" I had her now.

"Whatever you say, Qris," she acquiesced.

"That's Qrisanthemum to you," I winked, asserting my dominance. "But anyway, you gotta go. As is always the case in the first part of Pokémon stories, tomorrow I'm getting my first Pokémon."

"This isn't a story, Qris," she sighed. "Just because you're getting your starter tomorrow doesn't mean this is suddenly fan fiction or some shit. It's not like we didn't exist before today." That bitch. I glared at her so intensely that Tyra called me up and told me I had won America's Next Top Model even though I hadn't even auditioned.

After I hung up I turned to tell Plaen the good news but she was already gone. Oh well. I slipped into my Armani pajamas and got into bed, almost too anxious to sleep, not that I needed it because I'd be attractive regardless. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't too tired to face the paparazzi tomorrow on my way to the lab. I prayed to Xylark that there'd be an Angel-type Pokémon waiting for me there despite what the haters said about it being a fictional type. I knew Xylark wouldn't let me down. As I slipped out of consciousness I could've sworn I saw a glittery pink cat flitter across the room.