Crying out for something, no someone. But who?
I shivered. That was the someone I was crying out for. The person I was reaching out towards. But he was so far away. My heart ached, beating painfully fast. Luka was just out of my reach, why couldn't I touch him?
Finally, feeling his arms wrap around me. No, not me. The past me. The past Yuki. I-no she- had his silver eyes gazing at her with gentliness. She had his voice whispering softly in her ear. She had him.
I felt my self scream out, He's Mine!
She merely smiles at me, Then why doesn't he hold you this way? Its a pitying smile and it sends anguish through me with such force that I feel like I'm falling into darkness.
"Yuki!?" I sit up, nearly head-butting Luka in the process, "Yuki...?"
I'm crying, my heart still hurting with the dream's pain. "I'm okay..." Why was I dreaming that? Why did it hurt so much?
"Bad dreams?" Luka inquires, his deep voice is always so strangely comforting. He softly puts his hand to my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin, sending an extra degree of relaxation through me.
"Yeah..." I want to lean into his hand so much that I can't stop myself, I can't hold back as I normally do.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, shifting closer, putting his other hand on my hands that are clasped on my lap.
"No...its really nothing." I plaster on a smile, forcing myself to believe it is nothing, nothing more than a dream, even though it brings me such real pain.
"Alright." He responds, his silver eyes still observing me. I'm always striken by how focused his eyes are, how carefully they watch me. As if he's looking at his beloved. WAIT! No, I don't even have the right to think that!
I force myself to look away from him, stare at his hand that is still resting soothingly on mine. The desire to turn my hands over, feeling his hand palm-to-palm with my own is shocking. Luka isn't- I have to remind myself again. I don't have the right to think that. Luka is bound to me, he is only serving me as he promised in a past life. I wish he would tell me what was our story in that past, so I could figure out why I'm dreaming of Her and him, and why she pities me-herself in those dreams? Is past Yuki trying to tell me something, are my old memories trying to tell me something? I just don't get it, this much confusion and pain hurt more than anything I've faced before.
"Yuki, why are weeping still? I'm here, there's nothing you need to worry about." Luka's voice catches me off-gaurd, both of his hands cupping my face, turning my chin up, as he looks into my eyes. "Be at ease Yuki, I won't let anything hurt you." It's as if he's said those words a million times, and he has followed them up every single time. This man, this demon, would never let something hurt me. Even the dream seems powerless against him.
I feel my breath hitch as I try to smile again, "Thank you Luka." I grab his hands off of my face, peeling them away despite the protest of my skin.
"Goodnight...Yuki..." Luka rises with his unhuman grace, pulling my covers up and tucking them back under my chin, "I'll be near, if you should need me again."
"Thank you. Goodnight Luka." I murmur, watching him leave the room.
God, why am I yearning so badly for him?! We're both men! And its not like I even like I know him very well, I don't even know our past.
You know him. Am I dreaming again? She's back. You know him better than you know yourself.