Deadpool was bored.
"I mean, what's the upside of being a part of a bunch of goodie guys trying to save stuff when they don't let me blow the brains of the bad guys, or the good guys, or even the mildly neutral guys?" He yelled at Bob (AKA Sokka), who was cowering behind a boulder to avoid getting impaled by the katanas Deadpool was swinging.
"Ha, yeah, Sensei Deadpool-" Began Bob.
"Call me Wade. That way, any hot chick who overhears gets to know mah name." Said Deadpool, using a sword to play tic tac to on the boulder Sokka, I mean Bob, was…ah… strategically placed behind.
"Um, yeeeaaaaah… so, Wade… any chance you could, ya know, teach me how to use a sword?"
Deadpool paused, as if thinking.
"Lemme check… nah. Gotta move with the plot, the author's trying to follow the original episode order."
"Riiiiiiiight. But come on, everyone else is teaching someone else something!"
Deadpool looked around. Sok- er, Bob was right.
There to his right, Toph the Tiny Terror was training Aang the Bald Monk Kid in Earth bending, which basically consisted of, in Deadpool's view, punching the crap out of innocent rocks, with Katara the Little Miss Perfect overseeing and trying to be Aang's protector from Toph's drill sergeant persona.
There to his left, Iroh the Tea and Weed addict was teaching his nephew, Zuko the Scarred and Angsty in the fine arts of harnessing one's inner chi by drinking tea and doing weird oompa loompa dances.
There to his 180-degrees, Momo the Kawwai Lemur was teaching Appa the Hairy Six-legged Bison Thingy about the art of making armpit noises. Appa's armpit noises were like a saxophone orchestra, much to the ignored disgust of Azula the Hot and Psychopathic, who was chained to his saddle in a way that made Deadpool's nether regions happy.
Meanwhile, from behind his rock, Sok- Er, Bob was wagging his eyebrows in a weird and Deadpool approved way.
"Oh, alright. I'll teach you stuff." Said Deadpool with a yawn.
In the five minutes that ensued, Deadpool watched the interesting phenomena which is called, "Happy Sokka". After his pupil had finished dancing upside down on his ponytail infested head while doing a Water Tribe opera, Deadpool tasked him with a great, dangerous, and mildly fatal task.
Sokka-Bob muttered strange and despicable things as he used his Boomerang as a machete to clear away the foliage. He had wanted to learn arts of extreme martial arts and badassery, and here he was stuck finding meat to cook for Wade.
He clambered up a tree, looking for anything made of meat. Even an Ant-Rat would do.
Instead, he found himself looking at a tiny furry little thingy.
"It's so cute!" he said. "But… MEAT!"
He jumped from the tree, boomerang poised to turn the furry thingy into a sausage. And… it dodged.
Three hundred and forty yards away, Toph told Aang to make a crevice in the ground. He kicked it, and nothing happened.
Toph scowled at him, and told him he sucked.
Meanwhile, the crevice formed exactly where Sokka-Bob was destined to fall. With a strangled gulp-shriek-choke, he was neck deep in it, boomerang somewhere to his east, and his would-be-prey looking at him in the face.
"Hey, furry little thing. Help me!"
It did not move.
"Hey, I didn't mean to kill you! Okay, I did, but it wasn't for me, even though right now you look pretty delicious."
It cuddled him. He had tears in his eyes.
"Okay, okay, I'll never eat meat again! Are you happy, Karma?! Now, Mr. Foo Foo Cuddlypoops, are you ready to dig me out?"
It did nothing.
He was about to grovel some more when a suspiciously Deadpool sized foot came from nowhere and kicked the furry little animal away. Sokka-Bob followed its squeaky flight as it flew between the forked branches of a tree.
"Deadpool – 1" Yelled Wade, doing a victory lap around Sokka-Bob's sticking head.
"HEY! You have any idea how hard it was to find that thing!" Yelled Sokka-Bob.
Deadpool paused, deep in thought. Then with the wisdom of the very crazy, he said, "Nope" and continued his victory lap.
"Come on, help me out here!" Pleaded Sokka-Bob.
Deadpool sat down, Indian style (Or is it Air Nomad style?), in front of his face.
"Let me see what I can do, O my rash pupil." Said Deadpool in his best Old Man Voice. He drew his Katana.
"W-Wait! What are you going to do with that?!" Spluttered Sokka-Bob.
Deadpool shrugged. "I'll cut off your head and add it to my collection of the heads of my failed students."
Sokka-Bob paled and a bubble of snot grew from his nose.
Deadpool chortled as he sheathed his sword. "Your face! No, I'm actually gonna bring Ms. Earthbender Supreme here, so she can pull you out and whup you around." So saying, Deadpool disappeared.
And approximately three seconds later, Mr. Foo Foo Cuddlypoops reappeared, with Mommy in tow. And mommy was very big, with saber teeth, really big antlers and she was very, very pissed off with the human in the ground.
Sokka-Bob did the most logical thing he could do to protect himself and signal his distress to his team-mates.
He shrieked like a little girl, rolled his eyes like dice, and fainted.