1 - Drunk at midnight

"Irvin is going to be so pissed at us."

"When shit goes down I'm going to say that you're the one who initiated all this."

"Daddy's not going to be back till tomorrow. So its all good."

"Daddy?" Levi and Mike echoed back, their expressions both disgusted and amused at the same time.

"You still call Irvin that? Gross." The shorter of the two men smirked, and reached for the newly-opened bottle of wine that they have been passing to one another. Three bottles were already lying amongst them, all empty.

"Thank God you never call him that in public or I might just shit myself laughing." Letting the bottle touch his lips, Levi tipped it and gulped a few, before passing it to Zoe, who snatched it from him with a frown. Mike laughed loudly at this, slapping his thigh as he wheezed.

"Oh, shut up." The brunette retorted, throwing a nasty look at the Corporal. "He's kind and he gives the best advice, alright? You don't have to be so mean."

"You know, Zoe," Mike began, upon recovering from his laughing fit, "What Levi is trying to say here is... You calling
Irvin 'Daddy' is kind of... Inappropriate. Its kind of... Giving off a sexual vibe."

"What the fuck?" says Levi, while the female beside him chokes on wine.

"Oh don't be so innocent. We all know people have weird tastes." The blond man nodded, wiggling his eyebrows. Zoe laughs at this, making the wine spill from her lips, while Levi merely rolls his eyes and comments about Mike being the one with the weird tastes.

"I don't want to talk about Daddy anymore," Hange begins as she passes the bottle over to Mike. "Let's talk about something else."

"How about Levi's new squad?" The blond man suggested, taking the bottle and tipping it straight to his lips. After a gulp or two, he resumes. "Especially Petra. She smells nice. Pretty too. She made coffee for everyone this morning. It tasted so different - I don't know how she did it, but holy shit, that's skill."

"Partly why I picked her." The Corporal nodded, and took a hold of the wine bottle to take another swig.

"I wonder how it feels like to be someone so pretty."

Silence. For a moment, only cricket songs can be heard, a nice break from all the noise coming from three drunk soldiers.

"I should wake Ral. You're drunk. You need to drink some coffee." Levi withdraws the bottle, far from Hange's reach.

Leaning over the raven-haired man, Mike held out a finger and stared at his friend rather intently. "Zoe, you are the goddess of the Scouting Legion. Petra is nothing compared to you. Everybody can make coffee. I bet you can make coffee out of Titan's blood and it'll taste ten times better."

"Mike, what?" Zoe laughs again, throwing her head back and briefly getting it hit against the wall. "Look, let's just admit it, okay? I'm not exactly pretty -"

"You are beautiful -"

"Mike, please." The brunette laughs again, and the Lance Corporal takes another drink of wine. "I'm not pretty. I'm not exactly the person who would start a pleasing conversation with anybody either. Most people find me weird too, but I don't give a shit about any of that. I was just wondering. I'm just curious."

"She gets stared at a lot," Levi answers this time, pushing Mike back since he was still leaning over him, "In places that people shouldn't stare at. She gets talked about, and mostly its not about her skills as a soldier. Having a pretty face, as you can see, is actually not a very good trait to have, especially when you live in a castle full of men who only has their hands to rub at their dicks."

"Oh," Zoe blinks, realizing all of that in an instant. "Oh wow, I never want to be pretty, ever."

"Don't worry Zoe, Levi and I will never fantasize about you." Mike swayed his hand and nodded, snatching the bottle of wine from the other man's grasp. "I mean, because you're our bro. Not because of anything else."

"Let's not talk about Petra anymore," Zoe shook her head, smiling, and snatched the bottle from Mike's grasp.

"I need to take a piss," The Corporal says after a while, and stands up.

"Me too." Seconds Mike.

"I wish I can pee standing," comments Hange, as her two friends both proceeded to walk away and pee at the potted plant nearby. "Hey, what is it like to have a dick?"

"Its actually not great when you have to wear the 3D Manuever gear and ride horses all day," the blond answers, before glancing back at Zoe. "You're lucky."

"Mike, I'm going to punch you on the balls if you get your piss on my pants. Stop moving around." Comments Levi rather irritably. The other merely laughs it off. Meanwhile Hange, who was left on their little merry spot beside a wall, took a swig of alcohol. After the two finished emptying their bladders, they occupied their usual seats next to the female.

"Ugh, you didn't even wash your hands." The scientist said, chuckling as she shifted a few inches away from the two. "Gross," She says, imitating Levi.

"Shut up four-eyes. You haven't even taken a bath today."

"At least I'm not transferring some 'essence' of my genitals on to this bottle!"

"Kids, please," Mike interrupted, sending them a glance, though he looks thoroughly amused.

"Well I'm not going to give this bottle to either of you." Says Zoe before turning her head away, her arms hugging the wine bottle tight. "You can all suck my clit."

In an instant, Levi's unwashed hands flew straight to land on Hange's face, his fingers clamping onto the flesh of her cheeks. Zoe let out a shriek and let go of the wine bottle, and pulled the man's hands away from her with a look of horror. "Levi!"

"How's the feel of the 'essence' of my dick on your face, huh? I bet it fucking feels good."

With this Mike let out another loud laugh, while Zoe couldn't help smiling along and laughing in the end, fully forgetting their childish argument.