Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I'm only borrowing her characters for my nefarious purposes.
Welcome to the last installment in "The Return of Saturn Series". I hope you enjoy Bella's journey towards becoming an improved (and much happier) version of herself.
The last we saw Bella ... She left Edward's funeral.
As her wobbling legs carried her away from the burden of past and sorrow, her chest constricted achingly with the effort to keep from hyperventilating. Surrounded by the gloomy omen of darkness, she gazed into the eerie night fearing the succession of lonely years that lay ahead. Unshed tears blurred her vision and saddened her heart, robbing her of the ability to see the picture for what it truly was. Not for the first time, she was tempted by the whispers of her timid former self suggesting a swift method to end all her pains.
She narrowed her eyes against the vestiges of a person she no longer could stand to be, and took a deep, calming breath, willing her mind to cease indulging in self-destructive thoughts. Heart wrenching visions of what could have been coupled with memories of the ones who'd been left behind tormented her wary soul, but Bella refused to buckle under the weight of fate's dictates. What is lost cannot be regained by sheer power of will, no matter how fundamental to one's soul, therefore she had no option but to admit her errs and keep on walking.
For all who'd perished, she said a prayer; to all the dreams that would never come to fruition, she waved goodbye. Stubbornly, one memory lingered, forcing her to confront the eyes of the man she loved first and wished she could have loved last. The perfect recollection of every nuance of his face was marred by the smooth coldness of the last time she'd seen him. She fancied that in death he'd found the peace he'd always seemed to lack in life, and for that she was grateful. Her romantic heart longed to die a premature death, for that's how much her soul mate was missed. However, Bella spurned the urge to succumb to the maudlin nature of her emotions.
The other half of her soul was dead and buried, but more than that, he'd rejected their bond at every turn. Fighting the wave of self-pity that descended upon her, Bella stopped herself from taking another step. Her unmoving body was a counterpoint to her overactive brain, for the memories of her interactions with Edward became vivid in her mind's eye. Yes, she'd been rejected and humiliated; her heart had been broken countless times, but those had been Edward's mistakes and Bella wouldn't allow herself to be the one to suffer the price of his stupidity. She promised herself to find someone who deserved her love and offer him her heart—without fear or limits. It wouldn't be easy, but Bella would do it, because she refused to be broken.
Thus, Bella put a final point to the first part of her life. The irrevocability of the moment had her throat yearning to unleash a howl of pain, but Bella Swan wasn't a wounded animal anymore. Through the suffering of loss and the certainty of death blossomed the seeds of hope, and the beginnings of an almost welcomed sense of anticipation. Freed from the constraints of a less than auspicious life, she rediscovered the beauty of letting herself smile for no other reason than wanting to feel happy.
With steady legs and a heart bursting with optimism, Bella resumed her walk. The path was unknown, but she wholeheartedly embraced the endless possibilities, for nothing was impossible to a woman strong enough to overcome the past and brave enough to undertake the gargantuan task of reinventing herself.