Hallo everybody! My poor brain can't take all the bullshit the last (hell – two last – maybe even two and half) seasons of TB feeds us and I'm trying to come up with the ways to fix it, with different scenarios flowing around my mind. I'll try to share some of them with you in form of the one-shorts sometimes. To my SVM readers – don't worry, I'm still working on the next chapter of With Benefits.
About this story: it starts in the episode 1, season 6, when Eric gives Sookie her house back. I know I kind of have done it already in No Choice Left, but I really think that this scene was a great opening for the alternative Eric/Sookie scenario and frankly, I'm surprised that so few fanfiction's writers decided to use it. I don't know about you, but with the way Eric was looking at Sookie when she called after him, I think it was clear that he hoped that she would stop him and ask him to stay.
No beta: Sorry. I just needed to get it out quickly.
Disclaimer: Owners don't need to write fanfictions. They just leave all the dirty work to us.
It was a memory that stopped him.
A memory of another time when she called after him using the same words. It made him falter in his steps and his resolve to walk right out of her door without looking back weakened; it drowned him in a treacherous desire to believe that they could just go back in time to that exact point when things between them had been still simple, and do it once again, with a different outcome. Just pretend that none of this fucked-up shit that came later ever happened.
So he stood there, with his back to her, filled with a cruel hope, that maybe, just maybe, she called him, because she wanted the same exact thing.
"Yes?" he asked, turning to look at her.
He had to force himself to keep his features cool and composed, but he wasn't sure if he was quite successful in keeping his emotions out of his eyes.
He was right: because when Sookie looked at him, the sudden sense of deja-vu hit her and she thought sadly of what had become of them and of what could have been. It suddenly occurred to her, that he didn't know; that she didn't tell him. That earlier, when they were talking about the fact that she staked Bill, Eric wanted her, waited for her to tell him -
but she didn't. Instead, she shrugged and brushed it off as if she didn't care.
...yeah who would have thought...
But it wasn't true.
And he deserved to know.
So Sookie walked to him and reached with her hand to cup his face – slowly, uncertainly, as if not to spook him. He bent his neck slightly and leaned into her palm.
She took a shaky breath and licked her lips nervously, drawing his eyes to the movement.
"There is something I have to tell you," she whispered.
He didn't answer, simply waited for her to continue.
"I said that I didn't know I was going to stake Bill," she said, "and it's true. I surprised even myself tonight. Everything is so confusing lately, that I don't know what to believe or expect. My world turned upside down so many times that I'm not sure which way is which. But, Eric... you need to know... the fact that I didn't see it coming doesn't mean that I wouldn't do this again for you, or that I regret it. I don't. And it's not because I know now that it can't kill him anymore. I would do this million times if need be, without a second thought, because it's right and because I love you. This is one of the few things I'm sure about anymore in this crazy world."
They looked at each other for several seconds, her breathing the only sound she could hear.
"I know I fucked up," she continued when he didn't say anything, but didn't turn to leave either. "And I'm sorry. With most of my family and friends gone, Bill flying off the handle, Tara hating my guts and Jason acting so weird, you are the one I trust most. I have no idea what's going to happen now to all of us or if our pats are ever going to cross again. I also know that you might not believe me after the way I shot you down when you got your memory back... I just need you to know, that no matter what choices we'll make in the future... I do love you. I thought this is something you should hear."
She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek, but she couldn't quite reach it, so she kissed his chin instead. They didn't break the eye-contact when she rested her weight back on her heels. Just when she dropped her hand and thought it was time to smile and pull back, he caught her wrist to stop her. His grip was gentle and she knew that he would let her go if she tried to free herself. She looked at his questioningly.
His eyes were huge, dark and deep.
"Tell me," he said softly, but it made her shiver. "Just tell me one more thing: the reasons why you pushed me away, whatever they were – are they still there?"
Her breath hitched when she realised, with a force of a thunder-strike, that he was right: nothing was as it seemed back then.
She walked away from him and Bill because she loved them both and it didn't seem right to choose one of them when she knew that she couldn't give them her whole heart – but that was no longer an issue, was it? The Bill she met at the Authority headquarters, even before his transformation; the one who mocked her, and, as she learned on her way back, bombed the True Blood factories, was a hateful, power-hungry creature that she didn't want to have anything to do with.
She walked away because she wanted an out from the danger that surrounded the supernatural world, too. But was it even possible for her anymore? She and her brother were related to fairies. One of her best friends was a vampire, the other a shapeshifter, and another one a medium and a witch. With was was going on in Bon Temps lately, was there anyone she cared about who wasn't tangled in the supernatural world one way or another?
She was also scared and tired, not able to imagine a way in which it could possibly work out and end well – but was she still scared of loving Eric? What she told him, was true – somehow, he had became the most stable and reliable thing in her universe. In all the madness that surrounded the impending war between the humankind and the supernaturals, he was the one who remained level-headed and didn't sell his soul to any ideology. When he felt her fear, he came out of nowhere, dropping from the sky, to save her from Russell, even though he owed her nothing. His loyalty was something she could always count on.
With every beat of her hearth that passed without her answering Eric's resolve strengthened: back then he didn't stop her. He just gave up, because he was hurt, but that was a mistake. He let her walk away. He should have known better. He knew that Nora was waiting for him outside, possibly listening, and that Sookie was probably going to give him some insultingly lame excuse, but screw that. This was important.
Because this time he was determined to fight until he knew for sure if there was something worth fighting for left. He won't let go until he knows.
"Eric... I..." Sookie breathed, but she stopped, not able to find the words.
She leaned forward just a fraction, almost imperceptibly.
"It's a simple question, Sookie. Yes or no?"
"No," she whispered and he closed his eyes for a moment.
She opened her mouth to say something more, but he put his finger on her lips.
He had her. He couldn't let her slip away from him now. It couldn't wait for another time.
"Do you love me?"
There was a tear building in the corner of her eye.
"Yes," she said against his finger.
"Do you want me?" he asked into her ear, his voice lowering.
This time she nodded, without answering aloud. He could feel the heat radiating off her body, even without actually touching her.
He closed the distance between them, as he asked his last question:
"Will you be mine?"
She hesitated this time.
"Eric, it's not so simple."
"It doesn't sound exactly like a 'no' to me."
She bit her lip before shaking her head.
"I want to," she said, looking him it the eye, willing him to understand. "So much. But... just look at me. I'm a mess. I do and say things without thinking. I screw up everything. I'm not sure if I can be with anybody right now. Maybe I just need some time with myself."
She looked so fragile standing there, and Eric thought that this was possibly the first time ever when she let her guard down completely around him.
So young. So human.
"I can give you time," he said. "I'll give you as much time as you ask for, if only you can promise me, that there is something to wait for, and if this is what you truly want. But..."
He looked at her intently.
"What if we don't have time?" he asked slowly. "We're waiting for all of this to calm down and catch a break, but what if it doesn't?"
He counted her heartbeats again when they thought about all the threats that were waiting for them outside of the house: Bill with his new, unknown power, mysterious Warlow, whoever he was, governor's special forces, haters groups with silver nets and wooden bullets and panicked people with pitchforks.
It took Sookie forty two heartbeats before she grabbed the back of his head and crushed her lips to his.
He responded in the same split second. His mouth was hungry, hard and soft at the same time.
They sank to their knees and then tumbled to the floor; a mess of tangled breaths, limbs, soft noises and blind kisses. He knew that he should ask her if she was sure about it, but he found that he was too selfish for that. They rolled around, but when Sookie tugged at Eric's clothes, he finally remembered Nora. He could tell that she was still in the area, though not right at the front door where he left her. He didn't want to take any chances of her making herself known in any way now.
"Cubby," he tossed, momentarily detaching his lips from Sookie's, before picking them both from the floor and carrying her to the other room with a vampire speed, but he stopped to pin her to the wall on their the way there, and pressed his body against her, too impatient to wait.
"Missed you," he mumbled into her neck and she locked her legs tightly around his waist, arching her back. Her mouth opened as if to laugh when she heard him, almost high from all these extreme emotions and sensations fighting inside her. The raw need, longing, pleasure, joy, lust, desperation, love and relief crushed and mixed into a wild energy that shot through her nerves like a fire.
Their clothes started to come off: Eric's black jacket first, hers next. Eric finally flung open the door leading to the hidden passage and flew them down, not bothering with using the ladder.
But when the lights flipped on, he stopped, taking the room in.
The silver chains were gone and it was obvious that Sookie had cleaned here at some point, but the few things he kept here were all in place. Even the clothes he was using when he was staying here were washed and neatly folded. The bed was dressed with fresh linen and it looked like the room was ready for a guest. He inhaled. His own scent was faint, faded from his absence and drowned in the smell of the cleaning products, but hers seemed to be stronger.
"Sookie?" he questioned.
She turned her head, avoiding his eyes, and he knew he caught her. He walked slowly inside and sat on the bed. Sure enough, he found her scent – and only hers – trapped in the linens.
"Have you been sleeping here?" he asked.
She shrugged embarrassed.
"Just once," she said. "I was feeling lonely and sorry for myself, and all these awful things were going on, and I wanted to go somewhere safe, so I just..."
She forced herself to stop rambling and quieted abruptly, looking down.
His eyes softened. He held his hand for her to take and after a nervous glance she did. She tried to say something, but he shushed her and went back to undressing them, this time slowly, one article of clothing at the time, kissing every newly exposed piece of skin. How could she ever doubt, even for a second, that this man was real?
She didn't attempt to speak up again as he laid her on the bed and covered her body with his. Her breathing was quick and shallow.
"You okay?" he asked.
She nodded and hugged him closer.
"I love you too," he told her before burying himself in her warmth.
She couldn't help a moan from escaping her. She had thought that she would never get to experience that again.
This, here, was where she could finally let go.
He flexed his hips, demanding her attention, and her eyes snapped open.
"Tell me," he said.
She didn't have to ask what he wanted.
"Yours," she said. "I'm yours."
He made a low, primal sound, and moved fluidly. She knew that he could go on like this for hours, but right then, after everything they've been through, they both needed to get to that place where nothing else matters quickly. So she pushed back as hard as she could, until she was panting and digging her nails into Eric's back. She remembered that when he'd been cursed, he hadn't fed from her except of that one time when he needed to heal from the silver burns, but now she wanted him to drink from her, so she bared her neck for him and pushed his head gently. She shivered and stroked his hair when he licked her skin, preparing her for the bite. There was no fear or pain, only a sharp, white-hot pleasure, that seemed to started somewhere deep in her bones. Her lips moved to repeat the shape of his name, but no sound came out. She didn't know if it were seconds or years that passed when she clung to him, as he stopped drinking and became heavier on the top of her.
Eric rolled to his side, taking her with him, so they were facing each other. For a few long, silent minutes, they were just laying there and looking at each other. Resting.
When was the last time he had some rest, that wasn't in his day-death?
He knew that it wouldn't last. With the current politic situation and the new supernatural enemies, there wouldn't be much peace for either of them in the close future. But now, he knew that if they make it alive, there will be something to come back to. At least he knew that he wasn't a fool to fight so damn hard.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He took a strand of her hair between his fingers and toyed with it. He smiled lazily.
"What for?" he asked in the same soft tone.
"For waiting for me."
He pulled her closer and kissed her head. She'd given him a chance when she probably shouldn't have, given what she'd known about him at the time; he wasn't about to turn his back on her. She didn't expect any response from him after that, so she simply snuggled into his chest and closed her eyes. He was tired himself after the night they had, even though he was undead, so he could only imagine how exhausted she had to be. He squeezed her lightly. Some things were just worth waiting for.
Yes, I know that I left Nora outside all alone. I trust that she figured it out at some point and left. After all that Lilith bullshit she'd been subjecting Eric to, I think she can forgive him this once for being rude.
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