Don't own a thing.
"Sleeping At The Wheel"
I Can't Help Thinking
That I Was In Daze, I Was Losing My Place
I Was Screaming Out At Everything
Waiting For The Walls To Come Down
Befre My Moments Starts To Fade Away
But Everything That's Perfect Falls Away
Buffy sighed, walking around her large apartment. Her fingers randomly danced along furniture pieces as she walked through a few dim rooms, going over to the large windows of her high-rise.
It was beautiful tonight. It usual was in her opinion. She loved the city life, she loved being able to look down at the busy streets, see the lights, see just a touch of water at the right angle.
What she didn't love, was being alone.
She made it out that way for as long as she could remember, but it wasn't true. It had some good qualities, sure... but not enough, having someone always won out. She was just stubborn, as per usual.
Her parents had died when she was young. Car crash, drunk driver, bridge. She'd gotten bounced around between family members and a few times in the system before giving up and just going out on her own. It hadn't been easy at first but she thought one day it could be easier and so she made it that way. Despite everything in the way, she put herself through school, she worked, she took care of herself. And it had done her very well in time.
She'd done everything herself and with that never really learned to connect with others. She had friends, sure, but no one close enough. She dated, but they were casual flings and usually even less than that. She never learned to let people in, to depend on somebody, any of that.
And the idea of it was terrifying.
So, she pushed all her loneliness aside and went about things as she always did.
And then, he came along. Liam "Angel" Angelus. Yep. He came along and about messed everything up.
They had met through a friend of a friend. She was out his way to help out with an event that he was at, doing the same. They were introduced and by the end of the show, he was asking her out. He was funny, smart and hands down the most attractive man she'd ever seen in her life so of course she went. And that's how it all started.
He'd taken her around the city, his city. She was familiar with it, but not with where he took her. Somehow this charming man had found these perfect corners, these hole in the wall amazing sites and shared them with her. They talked, danced, ate, shopped, walk, drove around. And then, taking him back to her room shocked her even more. The man was utter perfection in the bedroom, not that it was that much of a surprise by how he carried himself. And he'd driven her wild for the rest of that weekend.
It was fun, interesting. Their time together had already been unlike anything she'd gone through before.
He wouldn't take her brush off when it came to tagging along to say goodbye when she had to fly back. And he'd slipped his phone number to her after repeatedly telling him they should just leave it as it were. But she found the note he'd managed to sneak into her things with his information later, saying just in case... to contact him.
For whatever reason, she hadn't been able to get him out of her mind. And in order to try, she took him up on the offer, flying out about a month and a half later. But that only wound up confusing her more.
He was too amazing, too real. He was a danger to everything she knew.
And he continued to be just that over the course of their... "relationship." She'd never been able to let go of him, always popping back up and him doing the exact same, but she'd refused to ever give even a little to it becoming more.
Buffy had felt it coming from him that he was wanting such, and that she kept losing him. She heard the subtle hints he put out there, the way his actions and words changed in time.
But her mind wouldn't let her heart win out.
So, when he had laid all his cards out on the table, she had tucked her true feelings inside and played it cool. She kept it light, fun, telling him he knew she wasn't that kind of girl, they would never be that couple. She'd kept her tone light, she'd smiled and even chuckled... but not in a cruel way, she'd been polite, trying not to be cold.
He hadn't gotten mad, hadn't begged for her. Angel had just gave a sad fleeting look before nodding his understanding of it all. He was very sweet as he gathered his things, he'd kissed her forehead, wished her well, thanked her for their memories together. She'd sat curled in a large circled chair, just watching him, keeping her face a mask.
It was only as he stood in the door, it already opened, that he softly told her she'd regret this one day though. And then he was gone, not another look back.
That had been six months ago. She hadn't heard from him since.