Hallo, everyone! First off, I want to apologize for all the screaming in this fic. I'm down with laryngitis and haven't spoken for more than five minutes in three days so you can say I'm compensating.
This fic was originally supposed to be a Rose/Nine fic because I so want to write Nine but never seem to be able to satisfactorily. Well, this one seemed to have some promise until all the shouting and the sass turned too Donna-like, so I had to change it to Donna/Ten.
I'm still pleased with the end result, so let me know how it gets across to you, with, you guessed it, a review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. DUH.
"Donna!" The yell echoed through miles of corridors. "Donna!"
No answering yell was heard.
"What!" –the woman's shout sounded far away.
"Where the hell are you?"
"I'm where you left me!"
A pause. "No, you're not!"
"I said, NO YOU'RE NOT!"
"Yes I am!"
The Doctor cursed harshly in Gallifreyan. The lights in the console room flickered in reprimand.
"Don't you start," he snapped irritably. "This is all your fault."
The lights dimmed just a bit, but enough to make the console room look menacing in the half-shadows. The Doctor rolled his eyes.
"Doctor!" Donna's shout sounded even farther away than before.
The Doctor sighed frustratedly, took a deep breath, and yelled, "What?"
"Where are YOU?"
"I'm-" he stopped mid-yell, cursed again, and shouted instead, "I'm coming! Just stay there. Don't move, d'you hear me? JUST. STAY. THERE."
"I hear ya, but hurry!"
The desperation in her voice made him worried instantly. "Why? What's wrong?"
Silence. Worry turned to panic.
Relief calmed him, but only for an instant –he was now more irked than ever. "Is that it!"
"Well, it's enough, innit!" Donna's voice sounded petulant.
"Yeah, well, you'll survive!"
"ALRIGHT." He turned to the console. "Right. What're you up to?" The humming of the engines became a tad low. She sounded… smug.
The Doctor frowned and placed his hands on his hips. "What are you doing?" The time rotor continued to move smoothly, almost cockily under his stern look.
"Oi!" The Doctor barked. "I'm talking to you!"
"Doctor!" Donna's voice was truly frightened now. "What is it?" –the Doctor yelled, panicking again.
"What did you do!"
The Doctor's frown deepened. Before he could ask what she meant, she screamed, "It's gone dark –I… Oh God, I'VE GONE BLIND!" Her screeches were so high-pitched that bats would have flocked about her.
"I'M FLIPPIN' BLIND!"
"Donna, CALM. DOWN."
"DON'T YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU CRAZY MARTIAN-" Her next few words were quite distinctly rude. The Doctor grimaced at the console. "Ugh, language. Why aren't you telling her off?" The Tardis rumbled around him in an equivalent of blowing the raspberry. Before the Doctor could respond to that, Donna's screams doubled.
"Oh, what NOW!" –he yelled.
"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT NOW, I'M FLOATING!" Her words seemed to reverberate through every inch of Tardis.
The Doctor blinked. "What?" –he wheezed.
"I'M FLOATING! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GRAVITY? WHAT DID YOU DO, DOCTOR!"
The Doctor looked like a deer caught in headlights. "I… I –NOTHING!"
"WELL I DON'T BELIEVE YOU AND IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING SOON, OR SO HELP ME-" More colourful language followed. The Doctor danced in front of the console unhelpfully, fingering the controls while his expression turned more and more panicked.
"Um… this one, maybe? No –no that's the air conditioning… uh, uh the wibbly lever? No, time hasn't crashed… yet." At that last word, the Doctor glared at the time rotor.
"OW!" Donna's shriek seemed to propel him into more feverish action. "Okay, okay, erm, this button, yes! That should do it-"
"OI MARTIAN BOY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME? GET ME OFF THE FLIPPIN' ROOF! NOW!"
"ALRIGHT!" The Doctor's roar echoed across the Tardis so loudly that even Donna stopped screaming for a moment, surprised. With an almighty huff, he placed both hands firmly onto the console frame and looked right at the time rotor.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I compared you to the Rani's Tardis… and called it better. Blimey," his furious voice softened and he scratched the back of his neck, "I don't know what I was thinking when I said that. I didn't mean it."
The time rotor was moving a little slower now, the hum of the engines was a little softer, as though she was listening, waiting for him to go on. A small smile curved his lips and he stroked the panel gently. "Oh, silly old girl, how could you have believed me when I said that? Remember what I said when I first stole you, hmm? You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen before." He patted the console lightly. "I wasn't lying then. You still are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And you're not just beautiful, oh no, you're sexy." The smile morphed into a cheeky smirk. "You are, you know. Very sexy. You're my sexy Tardis. The most beautiful thing in the universe."
The lights brightened and dimmed, the humming rose to a strangely melodious crescendo and lowered again, and a strange sense of joy seemed to pervade the entire Tardis.
The next moment, there was a pop and Donna Noble fell out of thin air near the ceiling, straight into the Doctor's waiting arms.
"Ah, Donna! See, there you are. You were in no danger, really. Just a little prank of the Tardis. You were just in an echo room, the Tardis tends to do that when she senses danger or when she's, well, cranky… anyhow, no more echo rooms! All fixed!" He flashed his teeth at her cheerfully, waggling her as though she weighed nothing.
Donna stared at him, her scream cut-off abruptly; she took a deep breath, then pulled her hand back and slapped him.
"Oi!" He dropped her in shock, his cheek smarting painfully. She managed to land on her feet and proceeded to hit him a bit more.
"Oi, oi, stop! Donna, stop! This is assault, it's physical abuse!"
"Damn right it's physical abuse! It's what I've had to endure for ten bloomin' whole minutes because of a stupid Martian who-can't-control-his-own-ship!" More blows interspersed her words.
"But it was just an echo room…"
"I'll turn you into an echo one of these days!"
The humming in the console room rose again. She was laughing.
A/N: The whole 'echo room' business was borrowed from the season 7 episode 'Journey to the Centre of the Tardis'. There's one other Eleven reference there for you to find!
Thank you for reading, and please take a second to leave behind a review!