My plan was to die.
I wanted to die. It would have saved me a great deal of pain. I should not have survived. But in a way, I didn't.
I did die.
I had discovered your brother's sinister secret. You both had hid it so well. I had never asked. I had been a good girl and had hoped, as I had foolishly done so much, that one day you would tell me the truth. You would share a part of yourself to me. But you never did.
I went through your brother's things. I found letters from your family, asking if you had finally found the doppelgänger. I knew they were referring to me, I knew it because there was a drawing that looked exactly like me. But I refused to accept it. You wouldn't use me. You weren't that kind of man.
But then I heard your conversation with your brother. How he told you I was a mere human with no importance. A sacrifice to break the hybrid curse placed upon him. He needed me to die and you had stood there, accepting his crazed plan.
That's when I snapped. That's when I decided to run away. Not because I discovered you weren't human, but because you had easily bewitched me.
I had used Trevor as a mean to escape. I had used his obvious affections for me for my own selfish needs. The poor fool, couldn't he see I felt nothing toward him? Something dark inside me that had been grasping the empty void in my heart would have easily let him die for my own freedom.
Trevor, with his pointless hope in me and Rose, with her obvious infuriation. Two foolish people. Couldn't they see that I was becoming a selfish woman already? Couldn't they tell that I was meant to be a vampire with the darkness that had inhabited my heart?
Stabbing myself, I did want to die. A part of me thought that it was for the best. But a darker part of me wanted to die but live at the same time. I wanted immortality. I wanted power. I wanted to be a part of that darken, forbidden world that was yours.
Rose, in her unstable sense, had easily given me the gift of escape. With the snap of my neck, I had sealed my fate. I had been my own downfall. But what did I have left? You didn't care, you never did. I couldn't find myself to trust you, not after everything I had witnessed and discovered.
You were a monster.
I was a monster now, too.
I took the moonstone and ran into the night, not caring the fate that awaited Trevor and Rose for unknowingly helping me with my freedom. My survival. As I ran through the woods, everything so much clearer and magnified, I knew only one thing. And one thing alone.
I would never be a human again.
So I turned it off and embraced the vampire in me.