So I hope you guys had a great Valentines Day, mine was...normal (single T_T )
Anyway, I finally got a beta, so thanks to God's-Perfect-Sandwich for helping me. Your help is going to make uploading so much easier (I hate using spellcheckers, they like to fuck up my chapters.) (G.P.S~ me too Akira-chan, they really get on my nerves! ^^)
Disclaimer: I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi or any of its characters (though I would like to).
Warning: This story is yaoi (boyxboy). If you don't like it, please leave now and don't flag, thanks :)
Ritsu gulped when Takano opened the door to his apartment and went into the kitchen without even looking at him. He slowly took off his shoes, jacket and hat while he listened to the sound of Takano rummaging in the kitchen, nervously.
He knew that Takano was pissed off, that much was clear, but he didn't know why. The older editor probably wasn't happy about him collapsing in the middle of some street, but that couldn't be the only reason, right? Normally, when Takano was mad or angry he would shout at Ritsu or at least talk to him, so this silent and cold treatment made Ritsu shudder. He remembered how Takano had laughed before Ritsu had left the apartment to meet up with Kisa. How his eyes had sparkled with happiness and how Ritsu had flushed when his mouth stretched into a teasing smile.
He preferred the Takano who teased him and smiled, not the cold Takano who wouldn't even talk to him. Ritsu walked over into the kitchen and saw his boss leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee standing on it, and a cigarette in his mouth. Normally he would have said something about Takano smoking indoors, but the current situation kept him from doing so.
The coffee machine rumbled as Ritsu made a cup for himself. He could feel the stare of Takano drilling into the back of his head. Anger began to rise inside of him while the minutes ticked by.
He understood that Takano-san was angry.
He knew that he should have stayed indoors.
But, he also knew that Takano was acting like a child. Ritsu was a grown man! As much as it would have been better if he had stayed indoors, he could watch out for himself. He wasn't as dumb or naive as Takano sometimes seemed to think he was.
He had the right to meet up with his friends or other people beside Takano, even if the guy had drugged him. Of course that hadn't worked out well, but he had thought that it was a good idea to meet up with this person back then, and Takano shouldn't try to make him feel bad about it.
His nervousness and fear vanished and transformed into anger when he thought back to all the moments when Takano-san had seemingly treated him like he couldn't make his own decisions. A small part or him knew that Takano was just overprotective and scared to lose him again, but at the moment he didn't give a fuck about this part.
It was when Takano sighed annoyed and moved out of the kitchen that Ritsu couldn't hold it anymore.
"What the fuck is your problem?!"
Under any other circumstances he would have been stunned by how angry he sounded, but right now he didn't even think about it. Takano seemed stunned by it though, as he stopped in his movement and turned towards him with a slightly shocked look on his face, which quickly changed into anger.
"Are you seriously asking that?" Takano laughed, but in an emotionless, angry way, which caused Ritsu to flinch.
"I knew that you could be dense at times, but this is ridiculous! My problem is that you never think about your actions! You meet up with some random guy, won't tell me who he is might I add, and manage to get yourself drugged by doing so. You could have been raped or something similar just because you had to meet up with a person you probably didn't even know that well! And don't look at me like that! We both know that if you had really known that person or if it had been a friend of yours, that that person would have tried to contact you a long time ago.
You also managed to get drunk off your ass even though your tolerance is shit. Then you meet up with Kisa, when it would have been better to not leave the house at all and collapse! So tell me Ritsu, what do YOU think is my problem?!"
Ritsu gnashed his teeth and stepped forward a little, despite his usual, shy self.
"Well I certainly didn't see you keeping me from meeting with Kisa, so how come I'm the only stupid one, huh? What do you expect me to do, stay indoors until you decide when you want to go to the convenience store, and if you are willing to allow me to go with you? I'm not your slave, Takano! I can decide what to do by myself just fine!"
"Yeah, because that always worked out just fine," Takano snorted, but kept himself from shouting. When he started talking again he wasn't as harsh, but that didn't mean that he didn't sound furious.
"You're like a little kid, you can't even cook or take care of your apartment and don't even get me started on how you can't stand up against your own mother. How long will you let her tell you what to do? Be serious for once, Ritsu. You may be older, but you're still a spoiled, rich, little brat like back then."
It was a low blow, they both knew that and there was even a flash or regret in Takano's eyes after he said that, but Ritsu didn't care about that. The only thing he cared about was the hurt he felt when Takano said that. It caused a new wave of anger to crash into him.
"Oh, I forgot. I'm sorry I'm not as perfect, and mature as you expect me to be." Now it was his turn to laugh mockingly.
Takano narrowed his eyes at him. "What do you mean by that?"
"You don't know how to handle things at all. You might be able to take care or your apartment and be able to cook for yourself, but whenever you get jealous or something bothers you, you don't know what to do with yourself."
"Maybe if a certain someone had the balls to actually confess already and stop acting like a teenager I wouldn't have to do such things!"
Ritsu could feel his entire body grow cold and when he opened his mouth again his voice was disturbingly calm. "You actually expect me to confess just like that, after all that happened. What do you want me to sleep with you whenever you decide that you're horny and to just shut up even if I don't want to at the moment?"
„What the- Don't act like I fucking raped you! We both know that you enjoyed it as much as I did. So I was jealous because your fucking fiancé showed up and acted all love struck in front of me. I only acted like that because you don't trust me enough, and won't confess already!"
Ritsu could feel his eyes burning. Why were they fighting like this?
This wasn't supposed to go this way. Of course there had been many things that Takano had done in the past that bothered him, but until now he never had the strength to speak up.
He told himself that he made enough mistakes, too and hurt Takano because he couldn't tell him he loved him this whole time, but the sudden anger made something inside of him snap.
"Because I don't trust you?" Ritsu had raised his voice again and he could feel tears run down his face, but he didn't care.
"Whenever you're upset or angry you never tell me about it, but instead drag me into your apartment as soon as you can. You can't just decide to fuck me whenever you feel insecure or jealous. I'm not saying that you raped me, we both know that you didn't, but that doesn't mean that what you did was alright. You expect me to just trust you and confess, yet you won't talk to me when you're upset. I knew that what I did in high school wasn't smart and that I overreacted, but you told me that I was gross just weeks before that and never apologized or told me that you at least liked me.
Do you think I don't know that something is wrong when I feel that you're upset and you just start ripping my clothes off no matter how hard I try to tell you to stop and to actually talk to me about it? I may be an airhead, but I'm not dumb, Takano-san. You're angry when I talk about An-chan, who has been my friend since I was a little kid, yet I'm not allowed to say anything against Yokozawa-san! At least An-chan didn't tell you to stay away from me or tried to break us apart. I know that it's different because she is my fiancé and that Yokozawa has a lover now, but I told you more than once that I only see her as a friend!"
His tears had stopped by now and he was breathing heavily, but he also felt a small spark of satisfaction when he saw the speechless look on Takano's face.
Ritsu knew that Takano wasn't the only one to blame, he had done a lot of bad things, too. He had told Yokozawa that he hated Takano, had had enough chances to tell Takano about how it bothered him when his boss just slept with him whenever he was upset and he knew that through this ten years both of them had been terribly hurt.
Right now the remaining anger kept him from saying these things, though and he just walked past Takano and into his bedroom. He locked the door behind him and crawled under the covers of Takano's bed. He regretted a lot of things he had said and he just wanted to go back to Takano-san and apologize, but he was too exhausted to do so. They both needed to calm down and even though he knew that both of them had said things they didn't mean during this argument, that didn't change the fact that some of the things hadn't hurt him.
He closed his eyes and winced when he noticed that the sheets smelled of Takano-san.
Masamune stared at the ashtray in front of him and lit another cigarette. A few of the things Ritsu had said repeated themselves in his head and he sighed. He was angry, furious even, but his mind was clear enough for him to realize that there was some truth to a few things that had been said. There were also things he wanted to disagree with, things he wanted to say to the brunette in response, but right now he needed to cool off.
He put out the cigarette and got up from the couch in the living room to walk towards the door of his apartment. Masamune grabbed his jacket, slipped on his shoes and walked out of the door. He called the elevator and stepped into it.
A lout bang resounded through the elevator when he hit his fist against one of the walls.
When Ritsu heard the door close behind Takano-san he could feel tears starting to gather in his eyes again. He wrapped the blanket around him tighter and tried to blink the tears away.
Why did he have to be such a girl?
The man hurried through the cold, his scarf wrapped tightly around his neck and looked up into the darkening sky. He had to hurry if he wanted to catch his next train. The faster he got out of the cold, the better. He finally arrived at the train station, but stopped when he saw a familiar figure standing just a few steps ahead.
Takano Masamune's face was stern and there was a dangerous, angry glint in his eyes that showed that he wasn't in his best mood. There wasn't a smaller figure with a shock of brown hair standing next to him, though and that was what got the man's attention.
A shame that Onodera Ritsu wasn't here, he would have loved to see the cute man again.
"Seems like there is trouble in paradise."
A/N: I'm so sorry. I swear this story wasn't supposed to go like that when I started it! While I was writing this, however I needed to get a few things off my mind.
I feel like Ritsu and Takano need to have a talk or even fight about the things that have been left unsaid between them. Both of them have done stupid things and I hope that it won't be brushed off just because this manga is Yaoi and "No means yes" and "it's only fiction, what's the harm?"
Despite this, I also need this fight for the sake if my story, so I hope that you can forgive me. There will be fluff in later chapters again, I promise. (G.P.S~ thanks for reading everyone! I hope my first editing job wasn't too bad! ^^')