Disclaimer: I did not make up the phrase "Pan an min, a min an pan!" obviously. That belongs to Monsieur Dumas. ;) Thranduil's varied titles were inspired by kingmaker's Fremus in "Wings of the Storm", and Legolas' thought to change Laureahiril from a Balrog into an elf were inspired by Snathag and Gruglush in Dragon-of-the-north's "House of the Silver Bow". Standard Tolkien Disclaimer: He owns the settings and many of the characters. I apologize to him for what I did with them!

Chapter 21 – What Is Going On Here?

Meanwhile in Mirkwood

Two young elves were walking slowly down the forest path, completely unaware of the splendor of spring that unfolded about them. They took no pleasure in the riotous birdsong, in the budding colorful flowers, the new green leaves that marked the season's emergence.

They were not yet old enough or skilled enough to be considered warriors, yet the same steely strength and grit that warriors possessed shone on their young, earnest faces, giving anyone who might happen upon them a glimpse of what they would one day become.

Even though they were exceedingly brave and determined to see this 'adventure' through to whatever end it might hold, something did not feel right to them, something was not as it should be, and it was not until they heard a slight rustling in the bushes and a few muffled words in Quenya of all things, that they realized what it was.

Tavor emerged from behind a beech tree ahead of them, a wide grin appearing on his face as he yanked free the dread weapon he carried from the clinging brush.

"Did you really think I would let the two of you have all the fun?" he quipped, putting on a brave face and striking a jaunty pose, leaning on the long, deadly looking sword he carried in his gloved hands.

Legolas and Brethil both gaped at him in amazement. Their friend wore an ancient-looking breastplate of silver, finely crafted with elegant flowing words. Green-tinged vines trailed through those words in Feanor's elegant letters, and a rayed sun shone in the breastplate's center. Legolas and Brethil thought Tavor might have stepped from the pages of a history book, so elegant and noble did he appear with his handsome Noldorin looks and arrogant, self-assured air.

"You look like a real warrior," Brethil breathed, lowering his spear and openly gaping in obvious admiration.

"Thank you, Brethil," Tavor said magnanimously, lifting his proud chin. "This was my araatar's. He wore it at Doriath and then at the Havens of Sirion where he took the wounds that would eventually kill him. My uncle Filigod wore it at Dagorlad...where he... died of his wounds...." The young Noldo frowned suddenly, the proud light dying in his dark grey eyes. "Perhaps I had better go home now....where it is safe...and I will not be wounded...or die...."

"Don't be silly, Tambaro," Legolas said, with a surprising grin, feeling quite ready to face anything now that the three of them were in it together – as it should be. Tavor was what had been missing and now he was here...everything would be well. "We aren't going to die. I have my daerada's spear, and Brethil has weapons too. We will be fine."

Tavor gazed over at Dragon-gutter and then at Brethil's more humble weapons, and nodded slowly.

"Yes. We will be fine," he said quite airily with a somewhat lopsided smirk, not really believing this, but at least he could appear brave for them. When he was with them...he did feel brave indeed! So yes! Everything would be fine!

"This is your araamil," Legolas said hesitantly as they moved slowly forward, thinking that Tavor was very brave and so very loyal to his friends if he was willing to face his scary grandmother like this. What if she really was a Balrog? Did that mean Tavor might be one too? Legolas stared at his friend, someone he had known since he was a mere child, toddling after his older brothers. He hoped that they would not have to kill Lady Laureahiril. Maybe this was all some horrible joke they were playing on him or it was some strange dream brought on by all the things that had been happening. Maybe they could change her from a Balrog into an elf...since she looked like an elf most of time anyway. "Can you do this, Tavor?" he asked quietly, his brows knit.

"Yes, I can," Laureahiril's grandson answered, nodding his head solemnly. "You are my friends, my best friends, and I will stand by you no matter what...and no matter who stands before us ready to blow the fell dark fires of Udun upon us!"

Legolas felt a surge of relief and glorious bravery sweep through him at Tavor's bold speech, and he did feel that they could do anything just now – anything at all. Pure joy shone on his face and he held Dragon- gutter aloft, grinning widely. Sunlight fell through the tree branches, setting the spear's silver tip aflame.

"Pan an min a min an pan!" (All for one and one for all!) he declared.

Tavor hefted his heavy sword in both hands, and Brethil lifted his oddly marked spear.

"Pan an min a min an pan!" they answered, the ends of their weapons touching in comradeship and singing their own song of victory.

"I suppose it is a good thing that Little Greenleaf is not here, though I can well understand why you might think it was his fault. I mean, this is certainly something worthy of him, and I know he would be most amused to see you looking so...cerulean, hir-nin. I suppose that you could blame him for this as he did send the spider, which is why the spider water was sent, though he did not realize that Brethil had put the water into the wine and hence, it is not really Prince Legolas' fault. You could blame Bronaduion, I suppose, but as Brethil did not realize that he was doing anything wrong or that could lead to such...unforeseen events, you cannot truly blame him either. Technically, it is your fault. You see, you knew that the water was in the wine, yet you did nothing to waylay it coming here. But if one goes back just a bit further, if you had not allowed Prince Legolas to pick the present to send to Imladris this year, none of this would have happened in the first place. But we all know that you dislike this duty and were only too glad to hand it off this year. So you see, you should not really blame your son for this – or Brethil...or me for that matter, for I am completely innocent and merely caught up in this tide of Sindarin intrigue - and...I see...I will be quiet now. Forgive me."

Thranduil had turned to glare at his Master Archer, who looked decidedly inscrutable at the moment, having decided this would be the best course to take in this situation. He was already assured that he was in trouble, so why not enjoy it as much as possible, and this he would do to the best of his ability. This sort of enjoyment only lasted so long...when the king was involved anyway.

Clothing was flung about the room, quite angrily and yet artistically, and a beautiful emerald tunic hung from the king's clenched fist. The ruler of Mirkwood drew a deep breath, exhaled slowly, resisting the urge to march across the room and strangle his companion with his bare hands.

"Ah!" Tanglinna began again before the growling could begin...again.... "I think green is the perfect color for you to wear, aran-hir. It will remind these Noldorin elves that you are the regal king of the Woodland Realm; ruler of oak and beech; the great Elvenking of the Wood-elves that lingered in the twilight of the Sun and Moon; the beloved Monarch of the Good People; the – Oh, yes. I see you are well aware of who you are. Forgive me."

The beautiful green robe hit the archer in the face and slid down into his hands.

"You...ah...need help getting dressed? Is that it?" Tanglinna asked, his gleaming eyes as innocent as he could make them, which was not innocent at all. This was decidedly more fun than cowering and worrying in the corner before the king's magnificent wrath – he could do that later if it were required of him. Not to mention the draught that Celeborn had brought to him, had made his headache vanish completely, and had lessened the throbbing in his ankle.

"Again," he held up the green robe, the silken material shining in an iridescent manner for Thranduil's inspection and approval, "I believe this color will... compliment the new...you, hir-nin. Or should I say the new hue?" It was very easy to hide a smirk behind the robe, and so he did. "You see?"

The robe did indeed shimmer and shift from deepest emerald to blue- green, to indigo and back, like a peacock's feathers shining in the sunlight.

"It matches perfectly, hir-nin." Tanglinna lifted his gaze from the robe to the king, making certain that his mouth remained hidden as he held the robe out to the king.

He ducked suddenly as a shoe of dyed leather sailed merrily across the room, over his head, and bounced off the far wall, a stream of rather uncomplimentary and questionable words following in its wake.

"I am shocked, hir-nin, that you even know such words, let alone say them aloud! What would your adar think?" Tanglinna gazed behind him to where the shoe had come to rest on the stone floor, looking most forlorn and abused. "But...you are quite right, hir-nin, "he continued, "that shoe does not match this robe at all. Might I suggest -!"

Another shoe sailed over the swiftly bend silver head to join the first, and Tanglinna decided that this was too much fun to abandon yet. He grinned widely, turning his attention back to the king.

"Should I fetch Lord Elrond to help you decide?" he asked sincerely. "These Noldorin elves do know how to dress very nicely, after all. I am certain he would have a few suggestions that might prove useful to you in you in this situation...."

So intent was he on his own enjoyment, that he did not see Thranduil step swiftly across the room, was not aware of him at all really, until he felt a sharp yank on his braid that had somehow managed to wrap itself around his throat in a most unpleasant, somewhat strangling manner.

"You were saying?" Thranduil hissed, his blue eyes narrowed to dangerous slits as he jerked the braid tighter, watching the mirth and merriment flee the other's suddenly pale face.

"I...uh...I was saying – nothing!" The last word was croaked out as the silver rope tightened a bit too much. "Nothing whatsoever, hir-nin!"

Now it was the king that smirked and grinned into the face of that was mere inches from his own.

"I did not think so," he commented, snatching the robe from Tanglinna's numb fingers. He moved to stand before the mirror once more, hands caressing the fine fabric covetously. "We shall show these Noldorin elves who knows how to dress very nicely. As if I needed any advice on how to dress from them." Then he gazed up at his reflection and the smile faded from his lips.

"Just how did you say I got so very blue?" he queried, eyes cold once more as they slid to meet the archer's wavering gaze in the mirror. "I assume you remember what happened?"

Tanglinna sighed. It appeared the fun was over....

Elrond sighed heavily, a very perplexed frown marring his perfect features.

"And you are certain, Erestor," he began once more, the frown deepening as he tried to make some sort of sense out of what he had been told, "that.... No," he said suddenly with great fervor and a shake of his head. "This has to be some sort of...joke that you and Glorfindel have come up with...or the twins. Yes, this sounds like something they would do. I simply cannot believe what you have told me. It...it is impossible."

Something like this would not happen in Imladris! Elsewhere, yes, but Not Here!

Erestor sighed, one hand gently fondling a dangling braid as he gazed disconsolately at the ceiling. This was not going well at all! He had not expected less though. Elrond really did not like things to go amiss, and even after living with the twins all these years, Elrond still had his feathers ruffled when anything...odd or unexpected happened along.

Celebrian gave him an encouraging look though she too was most confused by what Erestor had told them a few moments before. Unlike her esteemed husband, she began to wonder if it were just as the dark-haired counselor had said.

"My lord," Erestor said, deciding to give it one more attempt and then just let Elrond find out on his own that everything he had said was true. "I assure you that I do not know what has befallen you or...the others, but - "

"No, Erestor. No!"

Elrond stood, pacing across the room like a caged animal, his brows knit, lower lip thrust out, his blue bath robe billowing out behind him.

"Do you not think I would know if I had so many guests of such import in Imladris? My in-laws are not due to arrive for some time yet, and they are much too civilized to arrive so early and so unannounced.... They know I do not like that!"

Erestor suppressed another sigh that threatened, seeing the very stubb0rn, determined look on his lord's face. He glanced helplessly at his one seeming ally, hoping that though Celebrian too was stricken with this most odd Dorwinion induced malady, she would see that this was no joke or ruse on anyone's part – not this part of it anyway – and it did no good to deny it merely because it was uncomfortable to acknowledge and was not what Elrond wanted. Honestly, he could be such a petulant child at times!

The lady of Imladris rose, all soft silk and long flowing hair and moved delicately to embrace her restless husband, laying one hand on his warm cheek, while holding him fast with her other arm about his waist. His pacing was driving her to distraction!

"Perhaps Erestor speaks the truth, darling," she murmured, resting her forehead against his. "Mayhap some...enchantment has been laid upon us. Surely...."

But her quiet reassurances were interrupted when the bedroom door banged open and Glorfindel entered, sword drawn, breastplate gleaming, golden head thrown back in the familiar "hero pose", showing his wondrous chin to advantage.

Elrond's brow rose at the sight of the golden-haired Noldorin lord so clad in his armor, nightshirt, and no shoes. Really! This had gone too far! Who did they think they were fooling!

"What did I tell you?" he said dryly, bottom lip thrusting out in a rather endearing pout and crossing his arms over his chest. "That ridiculous get-up is not going to impress me, Glorfindel," he ended with a triumphant gleam in his eyes.

As Glorfindel frowned and opened his mouth to protest or at least ask what the Balrog was Elrond talking about, a sudden chill filled the air and a moment later a very irate Lady of Lorien entered the room followed by her husband, who wore a decidedly amused look on his face, green eyes dancing with delight.

So that is where the twins get that look from, Elrond thought sourly as he eyed his father-in-law.

"Where is he?" Galadriel demanded in a voice low with anger and accusation, drawing her son-in-law's attention back to her.

She fairly vibrated with the strength of her emotion, her long golden hair flowing freely about her like writhing snakes. Elrond did not remember seeing her so enraged before! Surely, this was not a good thing...and ... and she was going to be enraged here...in Imladris! It was not FAIR!

"Where is who?" Elrond asked, suddenly wrapping his arms about his lady wife for comfort...or protection, whichever proved to be the thing he was most in need of. An air of unreality had settled over him and he found this most distressing. This was not the way things worked in Imladris! It was not! They all knew this and yet they seemed to delight in flaunting their disregard for his happiness, for his desire for order and peace.

"Haldir," the Lady answered, his name somewhere between a growl and a whimper.

"Um," Celeborn said, lifting one finger in the air. "Don't you mean Thranduil, sweetest honeysuckle blossom?"

Galadriel rounded on him, her eyes losing something of their fury, only to flare once more.

"What are you talking about, Celeborn?" she hissed. "You said nothing about Thranduil before. What does he have to do with this?"

Celeborn's face suddenly looked most perplexed, but then a slow smirk tugged at his lips.

"It would seem that I am the only one to have figured out what has happened. What a delightful feeling!" He grinned over at the others feeling quite superior indeed! "I am not surprised that you are so haughty, my dear," he said, addressing his wife. "It is the most wonderful thing in the world to know things others do not!"

Galadriel was not amused.

"What does that little Sinda whelp who lives in that accursed forest have to do with this?" she demanded, her hands curling into wicked claws, as she glared at Celeborn. "Did he seduce my little Haldir away from me? Is that why I cannot feel them?! Is that why I cannot feel my little Silvans!? Have they all defected and run to Mirkwood?!?!"

"What is going on here?" Elrond asked helplessly, shooting a glance at Erestor, who shrugged and shook his head, looking as confused as Elrond felt. He could easily have told his lord that he had tried and tried to tell him that things were at the moment, but Elrond had not listened to him, and now it was too late! Everything was falling apart! It made no sense! Erestor decided that he did not like things to be so...out of order either!

It was never a good sign when Celeborn was smirking, Elrond thought frantically as he tried to remember when he had ever seen Celeborn smirk. But before he could frame a coherent sentence – he could think of nothing to say! - Thranduil swept into the room, glaring fiercely at them all.

"Peredhil," he began in a voice low with anger and accusation, blue eyes as filled with rage as Galadriel's.

Even as Elrond gaped at the strange gathering – they were not supposed to be here! They were not! No no no! - Galadriel rounded on her quarry, eyes large and luminous, filled with dread power.

"What is going on here?" Elrond whispered, his hands fretting with the ties of his robe. This was bad! Very bad!

"You!" Galadriel growled, taking a step toward Thranduil.

"I?" Thranduil countered with a glare of his own. That...that Noldo witch could not scare him! Not this morning! He would show her a thing or two about who was the most scary today!

"You are," she continued, her voice holding an odd questioning note as she stared at him, her wrath replaced with disbelief. She blinked and frowned. "You are...."

"Blue?" Celeborn suggested helpfully with a grin.

Mirkwood's king turned to glare at the silver-haired Sinda. By the Valar, he despised all silver-haired smirking elves just now! It was so hard to keep one's dignity when being slightly...off color.

"You are blue," Galadriel murmured, reaching out to touch Thranduil's decidedly sapphire countenance.

"I know that!" Oropherion snarled, baring his teeth and moving her hand away from his face.

"What is going on here?" Elrond asked, feeling quite helpless and discombobulated. "What is going on here?" No other words would come. "What is going on here?!"

Someone sighed just outside the doorway.

"What indeed."


daw the minstrel – The excitement is just starting, I fear, and my mind is already mush, so I do not know what the poor characters must be suffering! ;) A Wardrobe Crisis can happen to the best of us!

Phoenix Flight – I am glad this story has FINALLY gotten to the original point! ;) I was a bit surprised that Haldir's quest for freedom grew into what it did, but...we shall see how long it lasts!

kingmaker - People jumping to the wrong conclusions makes a fun story, so I overuse it! ;) But this story is about excess, I fear, which is also funny...if it is not happening to you! (

Sirithiliel – As slowly as I write, school has been out now for a while! :( I am glad you like Aralith, as I do too. :) More from him later!

Dragon-of-the-north – So far you and I know whose weapons Brethil has, that will be made public a bit later. But we shall have to find Glaurung a lady- wife soon, Alagant! :) (in blue – "The painting of the blue and green monster will be forth coming, Linlote...on a cell wall near you!" grins) The FGN movement will soon get underway! hoists her own badge

Ptath – Thranduil does have a lovely piercing voice, so I suspect it was his shout that started the downhill spiral for poor, put upon Elrond! ;)

JastaElf – I admit I thought of Braveheart as well when Haldir screamed...yes, it was probably with Mel Gibson's voice too. ;) I feel most sorry for Elrond in this, I think. I know how I would feel in his place!

Still Anonymous – It is good to hear from you, and you needn't worry about being lazy and/or busy. I completely understand! :) I don't think I would appreciate waking up with a spider beside me either...especially a big one! I admit my own Aralithus only pops up when SOUSs show up Spiders Of Unusual Size. ;)

fliewatuet - I laughed at the thought of poor Little Greenleaf hearing either his adar or his brother screaming. I think he shall have to wait for them to come back home...then they can scream at him in person...poor little kid! ;)

Hel – Yes, I suspect that the Galadrim in Lorien are celebrating their freedom, but I don't know for how long. Poor Galadriel is a bit upset by this unforeseen development. LOL Oh yes! I would not mind seeing Glorfindel and Haldir in their nightshirts! Very nice mind candy that! ;) I will let Celeborn enjoy his own 'freedom' for as long as possible. He does deserve it!

Carandra – Tambaro is back in this chapter to save the day...so to speak, in his lovely ancestral Noldo armor, no less! You are right. Tanglinna was a bit of a serious child, but I think being around Legolas and his friends have taught him a thing or two. (

Nina – Yes, the Lady is a bit less charming than she was formerly, but I am sure she will spend all her energy getting that back! And yes, the twins need to be taught a lesson!

Uineniel – Yes indeed! I did notice that in FOTR that Haldir looked just a bit TOO happy for his own good when speaking of his lady, and it was that look that inspired this entire 'charming' subplot. LOL Do you want Legolas to see his father blue?? (

Dis Thrainsdotter – Tanglinna will be somewhat sorry when they return to Mirkwood...but then...well, one could say that he deserves it though I think he thought he was doing the right thing...or something anyway. ;)

Lutris – LOL I had not thought of Thranduil Smurf, but that definitely works for me! Oh dear! Now I shall see all of Mirkwood inhabited by those happy little blue darlings! Hm...Smurfette did have blonde hair, didn't she?? ;))

erunyauve – I agree. Bastryn is very cute and I hope that someone will recognize that fact and feel a bit sorry for that poor little thing...someone other than Brethil that is. I don't know if I can convince Aralith of that or not! ;)

the evil witch queen – well, you are not alone in wishing for Legolas to see Thranduil blue. I shall have to put it to a vote, I suppose. :) I am not sure just how much trouble Legolas will get into for taking his grandfather's spear. We shall have to wait and see! ;)

UbiquitousPitt – Tavor's ada is still living, yes. I do not kill off everyone I create. ;) I was LOL over your Galadriel bewitching Tanglinna at the end of the tale...you are not too far off actually. Someone just whimpered "Save me, Roscorunya!" ;) Though he protests that it is not his fault – any of it – if things are rather insane in Greenwood. And were you volunteering for the job of bathing and feeding the newly freed Haldir?? :))

canisrufus – I am pleased that you have enjoyed the madness thus far! I shall strive to keep it silly enough so you may continue laughing your head off! ;)

Just Sleeping – Do not worry. I will not do anything of lasting harm to anyone in this story. They shall all survive one way or another...it might just be uncomfortable along the way for a few of them...or most of them. ;) I won't let the twins kill poor Aralith with their attentions either. :)

aurora – Yes, I fear I do have a wicked streak and occasionally I indulge it. ;) I suspect since all those noble lords are in this being discombobulated together, they shall all forget it...by agreement of course. ;) LOL Are you saying that a little spider would send you shrieking and hanging from the ceiling?? Surely not! ;))

DreamReader - Your puppy sounds wonderful! I hope she grows into a great dog! I am sure Haldir will run whenever "she" comes into view now, Poor Lady of Light! ;))

SwordSwallower17 – I am glad you are enjoying my romp! I hope your driver's test went well! (

WeasleyTwinsLover1112 – I think a lot of people feel that way about spiders. But tell me, do you often get up at 4:35 in the morning?? ;)

Elf of Sirannon - I am glad you are enjoying my made romp in Middle Earth Wonderland. As you see no one has the 4th bottle yet...it is still lying about somewhere. I enjoy all those lovely elves in one place at once, so this is a big self-indulgence. I am glad you are enjoying it too! Legolas is very brave...and yes, taking on a Mumakil proves that he has it in him...I just believe it started young! ;) Laureahiril is very smart and has a mean mischievous streak. She fits into my version of Mirkwood quite nicely. :)

Gwilwileth of Imladris – Yes, poor Aralith. He really is having a bad time of it! And yes, Thranduil is a veritable rainbow of colors...like a bag of Skittles! ;)

Kivessa1 – I am glad you are enjoying this so much! And yes, we shall see more of the freedom fighter Haldir in just a bit! :)