So... I've written this little story for Dreamweaver94's birthday. I hope she likes it!

Huge thanks to Twilly & Lellabeth, my fic-sisterwives! They are the wind beneath my wings, the cream in my coffee, the frosting on my cupcake. You get the idea. I luff them.

All mistakes are mine.

SM owns all things Twilight.

Chapter 1 - Nipples

Edward Cullen is a bastard.

Well, not literally.

I mean, he wasn't born out of wedlock...that I know of.

He's an asshole, okay? Let's just leave it at that.

I don't understand why he's even running against me. It's so obvious that I'm the better person for the job.

Is he just trying to piss me off?

Everyone thought I would be running unopposed, but no. Of course he had to throw his hat into the ring the day before the deadline.


I have to beat him. I need this on my college applications.

Senior Class President

Just as I turn down the hall toward my English class and find yet another poster with devil-horns sprouting from my headband, nipples drawn in on my sweater, and a handlebar mustache on my face, I see him. He's in his standard uniform of random t-shirt and jeans, and he's walking right toward me.

Well... strutting is more like it.

He's hot. I'll give him that. But I've got the brains. All he has is charisma—unfortunately, a lot of it.

"What's up, Busy-B?" he asks as he walks by and flicks my skirt with a pencil. He turns toward me, walking backward down the hall. "Nice nipples."

I gasp and cross my arms over my breasts, and he barks out a laugh, pointing his pencil toward the poster on the wall next to me and winking before turning back around and resuming his path.

God, what an asshole.

Pulling the poster down, I sneer at the smiling-perfect one of him on the opposite wall and make a mental note to put a new one of mine up between classrooms 101 and 103. I'm not going to let him deter me.

I'm going to win this.

Thank you for reading!