I own nothing. Characters by Suzanne Collins. quotes from music by Kendrick Lamar.


"I am a sinner, who's probably gonna sin again. Lord forgive me. Lord forgive me, things I don't understand. Sometimes I need to be alone..."

I always knew I'd get married.

We met as undeclared first-years at the University of Virginia. I'm a local girl, born and raised right here in Charlottesville. Gale moved here from London two weeks before freshman orientation. We bonded over a mutual love of horses, and spent many hours of our 'courtship', his word not mine, riding through the country together.

I knew when he was going to propose, I expected it. I didn't expect our short engagement or a wedding at the Boars Head Inn before graduation with 500 guests in attendance from either side of the "pond." That had been Gale's idea. I didn't imagine the 7 tier fruit cake either. That had also been Gale's idea. Apparently it's the traditional wedding cake of England. But to me, fruit cake is something you get for Christmas from someone you don't particularly like. I remember how I bit my tongue to hide my disappointment as I cut into the cake. Looking back, it was the first of many disappointments in our marriage.

I always knew I'd be a mother.

Though, if I'm honest with myself, I'll admit that didn't particularly want motherhood. I didn't imagine I'd have a child so soon in my life. Or in my marriage. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. We welcomed our daughter, Rue, before our first year anniversary. She'll turn five next month.

Gale has missed her last two birthday celebrations.

As I sit in the living room of our gorgeous suburban home in the valley of the Shenandoah Mountains, flipping through our family album, the signs become all too clear. My forced smiles hold the hidden story of a woman who got everything she expected, but nothing the way she imagined.


Looking for the rest of Blend? I am sincerely sorry for any confusion or inconvenience this may cause, but this story contains lemons and has been reported, and so I have removed it from this site, before it gets taken down. If you are interested in reading, it is available over on Archive of our Own, a site that allows E-rated fics. My pen name is the same, LBug84 and links are available on my profile page. Thank you.

-Lbug84