Hello all! I have risen from the ashes and I am HERE! No, you are not imagining this. No, this is not a joke. I am back, temporarily, because I owe you all an explanation.
This is going to be long, and you might not hear exactly what you want, and for this I am sorry. But please, I beg of you, read it all.
1. I owe you all an apology. To promise you a story that would never get abandoned and then to completely disappear was absolutely awful, and for that I am truly sorry.
2. For those who sent me direct messages, I am sorry I didn't answer. I just want to give a general thank you, because reading the messages and thinking about how you took time out of your day to send me kind words did not go unnoticed, I love and appreciate you and want to thank you again.
3. For those who reached out to me, worried that something might have happened to me. Thank you for caring, I am sorry I never gave you confirmation until now but I am okay!
4. NOW FOR THE EXPLAINATION TO WHY I HAVE STOPPED WRITING THESE STORIES: First, I am sorry for my long absence. Please understand something, when I started writing this story I was a bored senior in high school who thought of an idea after reading an amazing book series, so I went with it and published it. I did not imagine it would have such an insane reaction, and to hear all the positive comments and the people who got so into my stories was mind blowing. I am so touched and honored by everybody that enjoyed these stories, and for that I thank you. However, as time went on, the story got harder to write.
a. I went to college and everything changed. I was busy all the time, I had no free time to come up with ideas let alone to write them, so I tried to write whenever I could but this became incredibly difficult. However, something happened that completely ruined me.
5. One day, I saw a review informing me somebody had stolen one of my stories. They had copied it word-for-word and posted it as their own. I was absolutely terrified and had no idea what to do. I emailed fanfiction, I commented on the story informing people it was mine, and I messaged the author. However, I HEARD NOTHING! NOTHING! Nobody informed me what was going on, the only thing I knew was when I had checked the authors page a few weeks later the person had deleted the story. I don't know if it was forcibly deleted, I don't know if he/she was too embarrassed to be caught and deleted it. But as far as I am concerned I was kept in the dark, and the author received no repercussions for doing this.
a. I understand it is the Internet, and once something is on there you don't have much control. But I had trusted the people of fanfiction enough to respect each other's stories, and I had trusted the website enough to do more than just absolutely nothing when that trust was broken. I know it is stupid, but you know what they say about trust? Once it's broken, it's nearly impossible to get it back. And that….my dear readers…took away my want to write.
6. I was scared. I didn't have inspiration anymore because every time I thought about posting an update, I thought about how mad I was that the story was stolen. I thought about how violated I felt because someone had taken words that I had created and claimed it to be their own. I thought about my broken trust and suddenly this wasn't fun anymore. This wasn't a fun thing that connected all of us Shadowhunter fans, and this wasn't a fun story I enjoyed. I had felt betrayed. So mix the feeling of betrayal with a person that was basically too busy to write anyway? And suddenly, there is a complete loss of motivation….hence a distant author.
7. For those of you who have asked if they can continue the story for me: the answer is no. I'm sorry. I appreciate you loving my story enough to want it to keep it going, but the reason I am in this mess is because someone chose to take my words/thoughts and try and make it their own. These are my personal images, these characters came from my head and even though it is left unfinished (which again, UGH I'm sorry), I would like to keep it my story.
I'm sorry. I am so, so, so SORRY. I will never be able to say it enough. I became a person I did not want to become. I left fans hanging just as people had done to me (something that infuriated me). I made you all a promise that I could not keep and I am so sorry. I wish that it didn't come to this. I wish I could still be the free, inspired person I was when I started these stories…but alas…. I am not. I hope you can forgive me, and I understand if you cannot.
For those of you who have left reviews on my stories: thank you. I am so forever indebt to the love and support you have all given me, and I wish I could hug each and every one of you. Even though I was inactive for so long, I would still read the reviews and sometimes get teary-eyed over the insane joy you all gave me.
Even if you didn't review, just knowing people were out there reading and enjoying my story was amazing. I could never have imagined all the love and reviews it got, and damn I am so blessed to have had this experience.
I can never apologize enough, and I can never thank you all enough. You all have and continued to give me joy and I am so thankful for that. Thank you for making me feel special and talented, and thank you for giving these amazing characters a chance. I am sorry that this happened, and I thank you for going on this journey with me. So for now, I bid you adieu. Don't worry, I am still around on the site! Reading the amazing stories others wrote and forever loving the Shadowhunter community, I am not far if you ever need me! Thank you for going on this ride with me, and thank you for understanding. And for those who don't understand, it's okay. Thank you for reading.
Well, that's it. Thank you for sticking around and reading this awful/long note. I love you all. I can never thank you enough. If you have any questions my PM box is open. Goodnight my beautiful angels, I'll love you forever and will never forget the amazing things you have all done for me. XOXO