Hey everybody! For those of you who are reading this and have read my other story, Broken Walls, I just want to make a quick apology for not having posted a new chapter in like… over a year. I've got a sort of explanation on the bottom of Chapter 8. But anyway, that's not what this story is about! This is just a little one-shot (possibly more if I feel like expanding on it later) about Chibiusa and Hotaru. It's sort of an AU, where Chibiusa doesn't leave to go back to the future, but instead stays in the present(?) for a few more years (at least). As for the ages, let's just say that Chibiusa and Hotaru are the same age (16). Oh, and just so we're clear, this IS a shoujo-ai/girlxgirl story, so sorry if that offends anyone but I'm writing it anyway :p
"Hey, Taru! Sorry I'm late!" I yelled as I approached my waiting friend. She always was waiting at the entrance of school for me, since we're in different classes this year. I took in her features as I caught my breath; her lovely purple eyes, her shoulder-length black hair, and her gentle smile that always made me want to smile in return.
"Hey, Usa," she simply greeted, seeming amused at my entrance.
"Ready to go?" I asked, straightening up.
"Of course; you're the one who was late," she smirked. I pouted, once again unable to come up with a retort. She always seemed to leave me speechless.
We began walking in comfortable silence to the park. It felt like forever since we'd been there, but in reality it was probably only a couple weeks. But that was before I realized my feelings for her.
Yeah, that's right, I fell in love with my best friend. And she just so happened to be a girl. You're probably thinking that's the reason that I haven't told her yet, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. It must have been years ago that she confided in me that she was gay and it was months ago that I came to her, wondering about my own sexuality. It took me about a month to get everything clear, but I finally came to the conclusion that I'm bisexual. Though, she's the only one who knows this. And then just a few weeks ago, I figured out I had fallen in love with her.
So why haven't I told her yet? Simple. Because I'm fairly certain she doesn't see me that way. I'm just a little sister to her. I remember just a few years ago we would always refer to each other as sisters. And while we haven't used the sentiment in months now, I'm not sure that the feeling of sisterhood ever escaped her. Or maybe she simply doesn't feel as close to me as she once did and has stopped calling me a sister because we just aren't that close anymore. This is the fear that keeps me from telling her. I don't want to make things awkward between us.
Then there's the issue of my parents. What would they think? They don't even know I'm bi, so how would they react if they knew that I was in love with Hotaru? They've jokingly talked about how good of grandparents they'd be and they aren't even really parents yet! Not to mention Usagi has asked me twice now if Hotaru has hit on me and she's even, albeit jokingly, insinuated that Hotaru might have turned me gay. The relief in her eyes when I tell her that we just have a sisterly bond kills me. I know being the only child and future queen means I have responsibilities to carry on the family, but what happened to "love is all that matters"? What would happen if she knew? Would she forbid me from speaking to Hotaru ever again? I don't think I could bear that…
"Hey, are you okay?" a voice asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. I blink and see that we've arrived at the park and Hotaru is looking at me with concerned eyes.
"Yeah, of course! Just got caught up in a daydream; you know me," I respond with a slightly nervous laugh and lightly knock my fist on my head for comedic purposes. She still looks suspicious but decides to let it go, thankfully.
We sit down on the grass and start to talk about all sorts of things. Things that don't really matter, but we chat about anyway. Lately, I sometimes feel like I'm dancing around the things that I really want to talk about. Like how she feels about me. But then I remind myself that I'm only a sister-figure to her and no good would come from telling her how I feel.
Before I know it, it's starting to get dark. Hotaru offers to walk me home, but I shake my head and tell her I'll be fine. She has that suspicious look on her face again and seems as if she's about to say something, but she closes her mouth again and waves goodbye. I hesitate for a split second, wondering if I should tell her after all, but the feeling is gone as fast as it had appeared and I decide to wave goodbye instead.
I walk home slowly, not really looking forward to talking with anyone at home about how my day went. It would just be more mundane talk with short replies. The thing I really want to talk about is the one thing I can never say. Just as predicted, when I walk through the door it's dinner time and the family, including Usagi and Mamoru who came to visit, sits around the table talking about how everyone's day went.
"What about you, Chibiusa? Did you have fun with Hotaru today?" Usagi's mother asks. Usagi herself turns to look at me curiously, with her mouth full of food of course.
"Yeah; we just went to the park," I shrugged, refusing to make eye contact with anyone as I pushed around the food on my plate.
"You guys really are close; it must be nice to have a friendship like that," Mamoru comments, taking a sip of his water.
"Yeah; she's my best friend," I state simply, giving a small smile as I remember all the times we've shared together.
"A sisterly bond is definitely special one," Usagi adds. For some reason, hearing the words 'sisterly bond' come out of someone's mouth other than my own cuts deep. I feel a faint stinging in the back of my eyes, but I quickly press it back.
"Actually, I'm not feeling too well. May I be excused?" I suddenly ask. I can feel everyone looking at me curiously, but I only focus on Usagi's mom.
"Sure. Don't worry about your plate; I'll clean it up," she says kindly.
I nod and head upstairs without another word. There, in the dark privacy of my room, I think about all the years I've spent with Hotaru. All the ups and all the downs. How every simple "hello" or "hey" makes my day. How every fight or inconsiderate comment kills me. I wonder if she knows that everything she does either makes or breaks me.
Eventually, all the wondering and contemplating tires me out and I think about absolutely nothing. My mind goes completely blank as I start to fall asleep. The last thing that pops into my mind before I fall unconscious are her words from after a fight we had so long ago:
"You'll always be my sister."
Or for now it is, I suppose. I might make this into a two-shot, putting in Hotaru's point of view. Or maybe even a three-shot to have an actual conclusion. But for now it's just gonna be this. I struggled for a while on whose point of view to use, Chibiusa's or Hotaru's, but I eventually settled on Chibiusa's because her situation would probably be closest to mine. Yeah, that's right, this is based off a situation similar to my own.
While I'm not an only child or planning on becoming queen of anything, I AM the oldest child and my two siblings either won't be able to have children or will probably only be able to have one. So my parents have jokingly said to me that I'm gonna have to be the one who really gives them grandkids. Little do they know, I'm bi and I'm pretty sure I've fallen for my best friend who just so happens to be a girl. Like I put into the story, my mom has, in fact, questioned me about my relationship with my best friend. She's done so jokingly, but there's always this hint of seriousness in it.
I WAS thinking about doing this first part in Hotaru's point of view because her personality is more similar to mine, but I decided against it because Hotaru wouldn't have to worry about her parents' reaction much since Haruka and Michiru are gay (or at least bi). I used to be sick a lot when I was younger, I'm a pretty quiet and reserved person (when I'm not online at least), and I don't really have any friends besides my best friend (and my family, of course) so it was a little hard not putting Hotaru in my shoes. So I'll probably make this a two-shot at least.
Anyway, that's enough of my ranting! Please review and let me know what you think of it :D just no pointless flames please! I'd like to improve this in any way I can.