Hey Guys…So, I Know I Abandoned This Story, Brought It Back, Abandoned It Again, And I Really Have Been Trying To Finish This Story. I Have Been Going Through A LOT In My Life; Even Before I Started Writing This Story…I Guess That Life Finally Caught Up With Me. My Writing Has Changed, But My Vision Has Not. I WILL Finish This Story. I Am Going To Put The Original On Hiatus So That People Can Still Read It, But I Will Be Re-writing This Story, In Its Entire Entirety. I Have To Do This. So, Please, Bear With Me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight or the song Goodbye I'm Sorry. I only own this idea, and a few surprise characters down the road.
Goodbye I'm Sorry
Chapter 1 – Pain, Such Pain
I slowly began to wake up from the blissful darkness that had captivated me. As I did so, my surroundings became clear. I faintly remember what happened last night, flashes of pain and cries echoing through me. I open my eyes carefully, my body suddenly cringing in pain. I look down at my naked body and see the faded scars and old bruises healing, while some new ones are starting to form. And with vivid clarity, I know what happened. My father who is supposed to be the protector of this town, who is a role model to the people…My father beat and raped me…again.
With a sigh that sounds ancient even to my own ears, I wince as I sit up slowly, tears forming in my eyes. I was almost positive that I had something broken, or at the very least fractured, but I could not think what yet. The pain was somewhat bearable, and the new bruises would be hard to cover up, but I had to do it. Standing, I slowly make my way into the bathroom, noticing that his police cruiser is gone. With a small sigh of relief, I turn the shower onto warm and get in, washing my body gingerly. The bottom of the shower is tinged pink permanently…From my blood.
When I finish, I step out, drying my body off with a towel before grabbing my first aid kit and walking into my room. I rub some numbing ointment onto my bruises and wrap some bandages around my wrist and a rib hoping nothing is too broken that I can't fix it on my own. Charlie would kill me if I had to go to the hospital…I sigh again as I walk over to my closet, trying to remember a time when he had been loving, kind. But I know he has always been like this. Ever since she left. I can't say her name anymore, or else his beatings will be worse. Swallowing down the memories, I grab a pair of dark jeans and a black T-shirt, my breath coming in shorter gasps.
I make my way to my bed before collapsing before it, yanking open the drawer of my dresser and pulling out my razor blade, which has become my lifeline. Holding it with shaking hands, I slice across my wrist, hissing at the tug of my skin breaking beneath the blade. I do it once more before my breathing evens out and my hands stop shaking. There are drops of blood on the floor and a ringing in my ears, but numbness in my heart. I grab my towel and dry the blood, wrapping up those wounds too.
I get up and slowly get dressed, walking over to my mirror when I am finished. I look at the girl in the reflection and wonder. With who I was, people would expect to see a smiling, vivacious girl, but all I saw was a dead girl who forced her mother to abandon her at a young age. My name is Isabella Marie Swan; I am 17 and a junior at Forks High School. I live with my father, Charlie Swan, who is the chief of police. Ever since my mom left when I was five, my father has beaten and bruised me. And when I turned twelve, he stole my virginity. And now, it happens every chance he can get. Sometimes it puts me out of school for a few days.
School. I grimace. I hate school and yet I am at the top of my class, not that anyone would care to notice. I have no friends, and whenever Charlie doesn't get to me first, Tanya and her posse, or the school jocks, Mike and Tyler would beat me up because I'm a freak. I have no one to talk to, and even if I did, they wouldn't listen. No one does.
As I make my way to my truck and get in, starting it, I remember the first time Charlie ever hit me…
It was raining. Thunder shook overhead and it frightened me. I grab my stuffed teddy that Mom got me for my birthday and heard them arguing downstairs. They always argued.
"I'm leaving, Charles!" Mom screams, and I open my door quietly. "I can't handle it anymore. I need to get out of this godforsaken place!"
"Baby, please! Don't do this! Stay with me…Renee!" My dad's voice rang out, but there was only the sound of the front door slamming shut. I run back to my window and see a yellow cab outside, and watch as she puts her things in the trunk. Almost as if she could not get out of here fast enough. I started crying. I didn't want her to leave. Who was going to tuck me in at night? Make me peanut butter sandwiches for a snack?
I was still kneeling by the window, crying, when he found me. He barged into my room, and came sauntering towards me. I shrank back against the wall, but he grabs me by the hair and yanks me up, causing me to scream.
"Daddy, what are you doing? Ouch, Daddy, that hurts!" I cry out, but he grunts and throws me down the rest of the stairs. I scream as I hit the last step, crying and hurting all over. I thought he would pick me up and apologize, but all he did was pick me up and slap me across the face.
"You are never to tell anyone what happened, understand?" He barked at me. "You are worthless and deserve everything you got comin' to you. You made your mother leave. Answer me, Isabella! You're not going to tell anyone, right?" He yelled, tightening his hold on me. I nodded mutely, in too much pain. Letting me go, the last thing I remember is him unbuckling his pant buckle…
By now I had pulled into the parking lot and am crying at the memory. I had made my mother leave my father and I. I am a worthless slut and I don't deserve to live anymore. I was a Plain Jane, a loner, nothing special. All the girls hated me because the guys all looked at me. And all the guys hated me because of vicious rumors that had been spread around. The only person I had moved last year and left me alone. His name was Jacob Black. Unfortunately, a few months ago I got a call saying that he died in a mysterious car crash. I wasn't allowed to go to the funeral. Charlie would have killed me. I still mourned my friend. I regret that he trusted me with his life, but I could never trust him enough to tell him my dad beat and raped me.
With another sigh, I sniffle and wipe away my tears, grabbing my bag and exiting the truck. I'm a half hour early, but as I walk over to the quad, I see two new cars near the main building. There is a red M3 with spoilers on the back and a silver c70 Volvo. Stupid, new rich kids, I think to myself. I heard the preps talking the other day about some new kids that were supposed to be coming this week. I guess they're here now.
As I begin to walk towards the main building, I see five of the most extraordinarily beautiful people ever. Each one is pale and, even from a distance, I can tell there is something unique about them. There is a big, burly one with dark curly hair, and at his waist is a knockout blonde. Standing next to them is a short, pixie-haired girl that looked like neat chaos. I smiled to myself at that and looked at the blonde next to her who had an almost restraining arm around her shoulders. This one was male, but he somewhat resembled the blonde girl. They appeared to be together. I looked a little to the right and saw a bronze haired god. He was already looking at me, but when he met my eyes, his brow furrowed.
I swallowed in fear, not knowing what I had down to upset him already. My heart started to race and I watched as the pixie said something to him that made his jaw clench and him turn away from me. With my body in pain, I managed to walk as quickly away from there as I could. I didn't stop until I made it to the music room, my only peace in this world. It is my safe harbor.
I look at the clock and see I have only 10 minutes before class starts, so I take a couple deep breaths and make my way over to the baby grand piano that sat near the back of the room. I was the only one who played it, let alone had the skills to play it. The music class was small, and only a handful of people were actually interested, myself included. Despite everything, I managed to learn how to play many instruments. I sing a little, but not much. But, I cherish the piano, guitar, and violin. Sighing gently, I run my hands over the ivory keys, the notes from last night filling my head. As I hear the bell ring faintly, I hum the notes softly, making my way to Advanced Literature. I sigh, already anxious for the end of the day so I can get to music class. I make my way down the long hallway to Ms. Rhoads class.
Unfortunately, Fate hates me…With the sound of giggles and heels clicking on the linoleum floor, my heart starts to race. I quicken my pace, noticing that my followers do as well. I turn the corner and Ms. Rhoads class is in sight, and I almost make it to the door when a hand comes out and grabs me, covering my mouth as I am pulled into the girl's bathroom. I try to scream but the guy holding me tightens his grasp, sending stabs of pain through me, choking off any screams I might have let out.
I feel another guy tying my hands behind my back with what feels like rope before a gag is put in my mouth. I struggle futilely against them and manage to get a glimpse at my attackers: Mike, Tyler, and Tanya. Of course. Tears sting my eyes as I see Tanya with a camera and I kick Mike in the legs, making him release me. I take only a few steps before someone grabs me by the hair, making me cry out from behind the gag. I'm thrown on the floor and feel my wounds from earlier aching, but I try not to cry. Tanya stands smiling as she records my humility. Their faces are all covered but I didn't understand why. No one would believe me, even if I did strike up the courage to speak up. With a look behind me, she nods and hands Tyler the camera while Mike holds me by my hair. His grip tightens in warning and I whimper.
With bright red lipstick in her hand, she saunters over to me. I try to shy away from her touch but Mike holds me in place. She started to write all over my face and a single tear falls from my eye, earning a chuckle from her. She stands back and up before kicking me in the stomach, making me want to puke. I slump forward, holding back tears as I feel the ropes being cut from behind me. I thank whatever gods out there for my foresight at wearing a hoodie over my shirt. I faintly hear the words "bitch" and "slut" as they leave, but don't respond.
Once the door is closed, I look up and let the tears spill over my eyes, in an endless cascade. A small sob escapes as I pull myself into a standing position and make my way over to the sink, managing to wash the lipstick off. My face is red from the irritation and I sigh, sniffling and glancing at the clock to see that it had only been five minutes of torture this time. I rub my leg gently against the new bruise I was sure I would have and limp out of the bathroom and pick up my belongings.
I make my way to Ms. Rhoads classroom and can't help but feel like I am forgetting something. I shrug it off and open the door. And as I do, I gasp, realizing I had made possibly the worst mistake yet…
Awh, a Cliffhanger (( : …Sorry, But I Gotta Cut It off Here, For Now. Any who, be Dears and Review Please!