They may be soulmates, but when Edward left Bella, he broke her in ways that only mates break. When he came back he found a broken Bella who cannot be repaired and who is unwilling out of fear of being left again.
He was on his knees, pathetic and groveling. Words, so many words, spilled from his mouth in rapid succession.
There had never been any doubt that Bella would take him back. She was broken and she hated him so fiercely for what he had done. Yet their status as mates made it so that her world revolved around him.
It was like gravity. Pulling on them both and unyielding.
Like the pathetic women who were beaten and who stayed with their men, so would Bella. For he was her mate and she had no choice, except for death.
She needed him like oxygen, but other than that the hatred and despair she felt would not dissipate.
"I hate you," her voice was monotone, void of feelings. Edward fell silent.
"Have you moved on?" He whispered. His eyes were begging and his posture sniveling.
"I can never move on," Bella told him truthfully. "There will be only you, for you are my mate. A fact you have failed to grasp," she continued factually.
"I can never be with another man, I can never want children, because that would include someone else but you," despite her monotonous tone his eyes seemed bright and hopeful.
"I hate you," she whispered again.
"I will make it up to you," he moved to touch her, but she yanked away her hand.
"Don't ever touch me again. You have destroyed me and I am only with you so I can breathe," for the first time there was a hint of anger, but it faded. For minutes the silence stretched.
"What can I do?" Edward whispered.
"Nothing," she replied.
He didn't leave. He never left. Always he followed her around, asking her questions, which she never replied to. Her soul recognized the comfort of his presence, but everything else ignored him.
It was easy to ignore him. Everything was easy to ignore, when you were broken.
At school the girls had hoped that the indifference would keep Edward single. Bella hadn't been touched by the notion, because like herself, Edward would never be with anyone else.
Sometimes she considered death, just to rid her of the nothingness, but the idea of being away from Edward was painful.
"Bella, will you not talk to me?" Edward asked weeks after his return.
"There is nothing to talk about. You destroyed me, Edward. I don't trust you. I hate what you did. You are such a selfish and blind man… Throwing your beliefs onto me and forcing me to take up a role that I didn't want to take… I hate you," she replied in her emotionless voice.
He vowed to make it better.
He promised to turn her, but she refused.
"And spend an eternity broken? No, I don't think so," she replied to this. The agony of losing her to death made him desperate and pleading.
Slowly their relationship ruined him as well.
As they went off to collage he did all he could to make her happy.
When the Cullens became too much, especially after Rosalie had tried to knock some well-deserved sense into Bella's head, Bella had insisted on leaving them behind.
She had lied and said she didn't care if Edward came with her. Of course she cared. He was her oxygen. The pain on their faces hadn't touched her.
Before they moved Edward had proposed.
"We can live together despite not being married, Edward. You may never touch me," she had replied. And he never did. While he tried, she refused. When he begged she ignored him. At night he would watch her from the chair, rather than from the bed.
He had tried to lie beside her, when she slept, but she had awoken and gotten angry. She had pointed out his broken promises.
How can you ever heal something that was so utterly destroyed?
Ignoring him made it easy, but he had to stay close by so she could breathe.
He was soon destroyed by her, as he had destroyed her.
Please leave a review. It makes me a want to write