AN: I own nothing, this is a request fic for LovelessZim. This will be slash and a Harry Creature fic (with multiple mates) eventually. It will also only be available on AO3 after chapter 5...ffnet's guidelines don't allow this kind of smut. I'm mostly done writing this, but I am my own beta so any mistakes are my own. Please review and let me know what you think.
Graduation. A time for happiness and eagerness for the future. A time for reflection and making plans to stay in touch with friends. A time that should be all of these things, but for Harry Potter, savior of the Wizarding World, the Chosen One, the Hero of the War to end all Wars felt none of these things.
He wanted to be a normal boy, have a normal life. He wished he wanted to be an Auror like his best friend Ron, a Lawyer like Hermione, a professional Quidditch player like Ginny, an Entrepreneur like Fred and George; but he wanted none of those things. He was just a boy who felt like his life was over as he left his beloved Hogwarts for the last time. His life was over at the tender age of 18. He sighed and looked out the train window, speeding him away from the only true home he'd known since he was one year old.
"Oh, what's wrong Harry? You should be happy! We're adults now, off to be our own people; no more teachers, or homework of detentions or Filch…"Ron trailed off with a dreamy, satisfied look on his face and Hermione frowned. Harry thought that she was going to have premature wrinkles if she stayed with Ron.
"While Ron is missing the most important points here, Harry, he is right in his own way. You should be happy. What is wrong?" Ron stuck his tongue out at Hermione, but she saw it and punched him in the arm. Harry sighed again instead of laughing like he normally would as he thought about his answer.
"I dunno you two, I just…I feel like something is over. Something is gone that I'll never get back." Ron laughed, not unkindly but there was a definite tone of belittling there. Hermione cleared her throat.
"Of course you feel like something is over, Harry. School is over!" Harry frowned at being completely misunderstood by his two best friends. Not pausing for one minute to think that he was being overly emotional he lashed out.
"I don't have an anchor left! I don't know what I want to do with my life; who I want to be or who I want to be with! I don't have a home or any…"he flapped his hand in the air searching for the words that would not come. The words that he could string together to make these two understand what he was going through. He realized that there weren't any.
He went very quiet and still and really looked at his best friends. They knew who they were; though they'd definitely been in the war, they had never been the focus of it like he'd been. They'd been allowed to learn themselves. They knew what they were going to do; Hermione had already been accepted to apprentice with a Wizarding Rights Lawyer and Ron had been recruited by the head of the Auror department from the ministry. (Harry had been recruited by the minister himself, but he still had not been remotely interested) They knew who they wanted; each other. Ron had never seen any girl other than Hermione, even when they had been too young to know that it was love, it had been love.
Harry sighed again and gave a momentary thought to the fact that he'd have to stop that before he started to hyperventilate and panic. Well, he already was panicking; he didn't need to be short of breath too. He pushed himself out of his seat and left the compartment; he loved his friends but they could never understand this feeling.
All up and down the train car kids were celebrating. They'd won the war; survived another year; passed another grade; graduated. He wished he could just let go. He saw a large group of boisterous graduates coming down the hallway at him and ducked into the first quiet compartment he could find to avoid them.
"I wish I had my invisibility cloak." A soft-sounding posh laugh came from behind him and he whipped around to meet sparkling grey eyes looking up over the top of a book at him. He put his wand away suddenly, wondering when he'd drawn it in the first place.
"Sorry Draco, I thought I was alone. I can go, if you like?" He mentally kicked himself when he realized that he was hoping that the other boy would let him stay. They had become good friends after the war and Draco's sneering attitude was much funnier now, probably because it was directed other places than Harry and his friends.
"Oh Scarhead, of course you can stay…provided that you can get your ego in the door and shut them." Draco replied with a genuine smile. Harry threw two fingers up at him as he shut and bolted the compartment doors. Then he gracelessly threw himself onto the bench across from the former Slytherin.
"Ferretface, I didn't expect to see you here. Doesn't your vast fortune allow you to have a private butler come and fetch you from school?" Draco was one of the only six Slytherin students graduating from their class. His parents had been killed outright by Voldemort before seventh-year even began and it drove Draco right into Dumbledore's manipulations. Harry couldn't complain though; he'd gained a new friend, confidante and someone that he could trust almost implicitly. Draco already knew most of his worst moments anyway…know thine enemy, after all. Draco smiled at him.
"And what about our Chosen One, doesn't he merit some special transp… what's wrong Harry?" Draco stopped his teasing as soon as he saw the look on his friends face. He knew that look; Harry was really upset.
Draco had long ago decided to stop being concerned about how well he knew Harry's facial expressions and moods. He'd been staring at the other boy, for one reason or another, for nearly seven years straight. He'd watched the baby fat melt off the other boy's cheeks as his face aged; he'd seen those eyes become brighter with knowledge and purpose; and he could tell Harry's moods from just his facial expressions at this point. After all, he'd been in love with him for at least two years. He didn't think Harry had a clue.
"My purpose is over. I'm 18 years old Draco and I feel like…what I was destined to do with my life has already been completed! I avenged my parents; finished the war, saved the Wizarding world and now I'm just…aimless. I don't know who I am except for what I've been labeled. I don't know who I want and I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've worked so hard just to be able to have a 'rest of my life' and it's already not what I thought it would be…" He trailed off, miserable. He laid himself across the bench and brought his arm up over his eyes.
"Harry…I'm so sorry. I think that we can both agree that, if there is anyone else in the world that knows just what you are talking about it is me. My parents are gone, without having taught me what I know to keep our fortune, businesses…whatever you want to call it, intact. Despite having fought with you at the end, no one is going to hire me, even if I did know what I wanted to do with my life. Not to mention the fact that I'm gay…I can still carry on the family name but…" Harry peeked over his arm to see his friends face; it was twisted in an ugly grimace, not that Draco could ever be ugly, and his eyes were open but his gaze was focused inward.
"Shit Draco I'm sorry. I guess I never realized that you'd be in the same place as me. You just handle everything so much better, more grown-up than I do so I thought you had it all sorted." He sat up and was reaching across the compartment to take Draco's hand before he could stop himself and it ended with his awkwardly extending his hand into empty air as both he and Draco stared at it. Draco's full lips quirked up on one side in an attractive half-smile, and Harry copied the motion as he let his hand drop.
Why can't I stop thinking about his mouth?
The thought echoed inside the heads of the two friends in the compartment, long after it had actually been processed. There were no answers from one side, and the other had too many answers to list, even in his head. The train silently rumbled on.
Arriving at King's Cross Station was always awkward for Harry, usually because his terrible muggle family would be there to take him back to the muggle world for the summer. This time it was because no one was there to pick him up. He'd fumbled though a non-explanation of doing some travelling when the Weasley family had asked him to stay with them; that was the last thing that he wanted. He wouldn't be able to think there.
He hauled his luggage onto a waiting, empty cart and looked around at the faces of the people left gathering their things. Most of them looked at him with a strange awe; he hated it. Curling his shoulders down and forward he manhandled his luggage, all of his worldly possessions, through the barrier and into King's Cross proper.
He made it outside before realizing that he actually had nowhere to go. All of the other issues that he'd been thinking about; all of his other problems were rudely swept aside by the immediate realization that he was homeless and in muggle London without a thought in his head. He stopped in the middle of the flow of traffic, getting a lot of rude sounding insults hurled at him as he pondered his situation.
When in doubt, go with family. He sighed and climbed into a cab, thanking Merlin that he'd gotten some money changed the last time he'd been in London for fun.