All I know this morning when I woke
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before.
And all I've seen since eighteen hours ago
Is green eyes and freckles in your smile
In the back of my mind making me feel right
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now
I just wanna know you, know you, know you
'Cause all I know is we said, "Hello."
And your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name
Everything has changed
All I know is you held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed
BRING ME TO LIFE – PART 3
(approximately 4.5 years ago)
The start of Dean & Beth's romance
Morning came with a large crash from above us, I felt Dean jump to alertness at the noise.
"What was that?" I groaned, grasping my head in my hands. It felt like someone was taking a jack-hammer to it.
Dean didn't answer; instead he reached down beside the bed and grabbed a shoe, launching it at the ceiling where it hit hard.
"Dammit Cole, how about you shut the Hell up! Some of us are hung-over!" Dean yelled toward the general vicinity of Cole's room.
I chuckled and then grimaced at the pain it did to my head.
"How about you shut the Hell up Dean? Jesus Christ! What do I have to do to get a decent night's sleep around here?" Sam complained, rolling over. I became acutely aware suddenly at how lacking in clothes Dean and I were. It wasn't unusual for him to sleep bare chested, but you didn't usually see me sleeping in a bra and panties. I pulled the covers up over me to hide this fact.
"Shut up you whiner, there's a couch downstairs if you don't like it!" Dean said.
"Dad's kind of occupying it," Sam pointed out and I raised my eyebrow. I wouldn't count on that.
"Whatever," Dean said, not having a decent comeback for Sam. He rolled over and groaned.
"Sore head?" I asked him with a smirk.
"You have no idea," he muttered, sliding in behind me again, pulling the covers up so that it hid what he was doing to me underneath them. I tried to keep my breathing level as he started to tease his way along my side, his fingers brushing along the underside of my breast and running wide, tantalising circles along my ribcage.
"Uhhh," I moaned a little. "I think I have a bit of one," I said, trying to cover up the reason for the moan.
Sam got out of bed and from where he was standing it would have looked like we were just lying in bed nursing sore heads, in reality Dean's hand had pushed my sports bra up and was kneading my breast, tugging on my nipple and I had to fight not to groan. Sam took his time, grabbing a few items of clothing, his iPod and tennis shoes.
"I'm going for a run," he said, "and I want the shower first when I get back!" He looked at us, shaking his head. "Not like you two will be out of bed anyway, pair of lushes," he chuckled and left the room. Dean let out a breath he'd been holding and pulled me in to him.
"Christ I thought he'd never leave," he muttered and without any fanfare, his lips latched over the nipple he'd been playing with, sucking it into his mouth and biting softly down.
I groaned loudly, and then pulled the pillow over my head. "Damn Dean..." I said, and he chuckled.
We didn't get up to too much because we really did have pounding heads. Pounding bodies just didn't seem like something I wanted to add to the mix. Lazy kisses, long lingering strokes, and entangled limbs; this was my new recipe for Heaven. Dean seemed just as happy to lie in bed, enjoying our new found arrangement.
"Oh my head..." I groaned again, starting to regret the drinking game from the night before.
Dean chuckled and rolled over to kiss my forehead. "Better?" He asked.
"Maybe..." I said with a smile.
"Just maybe?" He asked, raising his eyebrow. He kissed it a few more times and then looked at me quizzically. "Now?"
"Getting better," I said, smiling as he kissed my lips. I held his face between my two hands and I gently ran my finger along the fine pink skin under his eye where the stitches had been, grimacing.
"What about you?" I asked, looking him in the eyes.
"Well, you haven't kissed it better yet," he said, smirking. I raised an eyebrow and grinned, leaning over to brush my lips softly across the pink scar.
"Better?" I asked, mimicking his question from earlier.
"Mhmmm," he said, looking intently at me.
I giggled at the whole thing. This was not a side to Dean I was used to seeing. He tilted his head at me and looked curious.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing," I said with a smile, kissing him again. "Just happy."
"No more sore head?" He asked.
"I wouldn't go that far," I said with a groan. I lay back against my pillow and Dean looked me over, starting to kiss all the little cuts and bruises I'd gotten while we were hunting those werewolves.
I was sucking softly on the skin in the crook of his neck when we were rudely greeted with Cole's out-of-tune singing.
"Oh, I'll tell you what I want, What I really really want, So tell me what you want, What you really really want" she more or less yelled, flinging herself through the door without so much as a knock, her eyes flashing a warning as she dove into the bed, landing on top of us.
Dean was about as unimpressed as I was with the interruption, and when she hit the bed, he locked her arms behind her, rolling over and tossing her to the floor. She hit the ground with a thump and grunted.
"Hey jackass!" She growled, looking up at him.
"Dean..." John said warningly from the door way and I dove further under the covers to hide my current state of undress.
"What? The crazy cow dove right in the middle of the bed I was sleeping in," Dean complained, obviously feeling completely justified in having just thrown our early warning to the ground.
"Well it's a good thing you're up anyway," John said, crossing his arms and looking at Cole who was still sitting on the floor. "We have a chupacabra nest we have to go hunt down. I'm gonna go and fill Bobby in and see if he'll join us. Chris is laid up with a busted arm, so we'll need another man." John said, and the pounding in my head just got louder.
"What? Nooooooooooooooo!" I groaned, still hiding under the covers, but adding a pillow to the mix: straight over the top of my head. I think I might have whimpered at the prospect of getting out of bed this early in the morning and facing the day; my brain was threatening to burrow its way out of my head right now.
"Sore head baby girl?" John asked me, and I peeked out to see him raise his eyebrow at me. I grunted at him and Dean groaned, lying back against his own pillow.
"You'd think we could have just one day off from this damn job!" He said, covering his face with his hands.
"You did, it was yesterday, and the pair of you clearly made the most of it. Now get up, it's time to work!" John said with a smirk. God he was a task master! John left to go find Bobby and Cole stood up holding my lace bodice, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Gah, my head is killing me!" I complained as Dean pulled himself out of bed. He dumped his duffel bag out on the bed, starting to rifle through the clothes that were now piled there. He took out his favourite t-shirt and tossed it at me; I grinned and pulled it over my head. He wore this like every third day, even washed it smelled one hundred percent Dean, and today I got to wear it all day long.
Dean smirked at me, turning to look at Cole who was pretending she hadn't just noticed him in only his boxers, while I was wearing even less under the covers.
"Have a good time last night?" She asked innocently, I almost laughed. I hadn't missed the satisfied look John had given her before leaving the room.
"Splendid, you?" I asked her with a grin.
"Oh you know, the usual," she said, winking at me behind Dean's back. I raised an eyebrow at her and slipped out of bed.
I slid back in to the jeans I'd been wearing last night, and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. Once I added my boots and leather jacket, I would be ready to go. Dean had dressed in a t-shirt and over shirt to his jeans and boots and was walking out the door, we followed him and my stomach started growling.
"Dude, what the Hell were you doing at five a.m.?" Dean asked Cole as he walked down the stairs toward the kitchen.
"I kinda fell outta bed," Cole said with a laugh, looking at me.
Dean was clearly tired, and it showed in the way he rubbed his face, the dark circles under his eyes. "Well keep it down next time. I think you kept me up for hours," he said, opening the fridge and rummaging around.
I was staring at his ass, thinking about last night. Most of it was a bit of a blur now, but I'm sure I'd had fun at the time. My stomach was doing a few somersaults and churning at the idea of food. Dean swung around with a plate of pie.
"Hey, that's my pie!" Cole said loudly, stepping up to the table as Dean turned to get a fork.
He spun around and pointed his new-found weapon in her direction. "Touch my pie and I'll stab you with the fork!" He threatened.
"Stab me with that fork and I'll dismember you with a butter knife!" Cole snapped and I felt myself go pale at the idea.
Dean glanced down at his crown jewels and swallowed hard, looking a little worried, he glanced at me and then scooted behind my back a little, hiding from Cole and her butter knife.
"Hey! I'm gonna need that one day!" I exclaimed, there was going to be no Lorena Bobbett's occurring here today! Dean grinned and stuck his tongue out at Cole.
"Gonna need what?" John asked coming into the kitchen. I couldn't answer him, I had nothing to say. I was mortified at the fact that he'd nearly just heard me saying I was going to be needing his son's appendage someday, I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head. Dean shifted uncomfortably behind me, staring at the tiled floor.
"Oh, pie!" John said, oblivious and scooping the plate out from under both Dean and Cole, grabbing the fork from Dean's hand at the same time.
Dean and Cole exchanged a look. "That was our pie!" Dean said.
John smirked and walked out of the kitchen taking the dish with him. Cole trailed after him, complaining about him snaking the last of her pie. Dean grinned and sidled up to me, slipping his arms around my waist and kissing the back of my neck.
"Dean!" I chided him and he chuckled.
"Can't help it," he said with another grin. He spun me around and pulled me into the walk in pantry, taking my face in his hands and claiming my lips with his own, he kissed me tenderly, exploring my mouth with his tongue, and I moaned softly. I gave in and ran my hands up under his t-shirt, brushing along his abs and around to his back where I could enjoy the smooth touch of his skin.
Dean's hands started to mirror my own, urgently running along my back and sliding under my t-shirt, pulling me closer in to him as he deepened the kiss. Suddenly my head didn't feel so sickly, and my stomach was doing butterfly flips.
"Ahem!" Bobby's voice sounded as he pulled open the door to the pantry. "What the hell is going on here!" He said in a chastising tone, but I noticed he kept his voice quiet.
"Bobby!" I exclaimed, pulling away from Dean hastily, running a hand over my hair.
"Bobby we can explain," Dean said, looking a little concerned.
"Don't bother," Bobby said, shaking his head. "I think I just saw all I need to know."
He was looking at us, a strange look on his face – I couldn't quite place it. He seemed surprised, but at the same time, pleased?
"Are you going to tell Dad?" I asked, glancing out behind him, looking for John. Bobby chuckled.
"Well, I don't rightly know yet. This is John's problem, not mine. At least it's not Cole involved with the Winchester this time!" He said, and I had a moment to think about the secret Cole was keeping from her father, I glanced down at my feet guiltily.
"I'll leave it to you both to inform him. But if you don't tell him soon, I will." He looked sternly at us. "Beth, you of all people should know what you're getting into." I nodded quietly while his gaze turned to Dean. "You do anything to hurt our baby girl, I will personally deal with you myself, got it?" Dean nodded quickly, his eyes a little wide.
"All right then. Now get the hell out of my damn pantry you idjits! I keep my food in there!" We laughed and scooted around him, practically running for the door. Time to find somewhere else to make out until we had to leave.
Blue Mounds State Park
Luverne, South Dakota
Last Spring Break we'd been in the same area of the Blue Mounds State Park hunting chupacabra. They were vicious blood-sucking animals that had found their way North from Central America. If you were to look at one, they were unlike anything you would have seen before. Moving swiftly on four legs, their bodies were covered in green leathery scales, a set of sharp pointed quills running the length of their spine. They topped the look off with a pair of giant fangs which they used to gouge and then drink the blood from their prey.
Cole had been with us on the last hunt too, a friend of Dad's had called and needed some help. He was a hunter, who also worked as a ranger in the state park. They'd literally had to shut down sections of the park due to 'bear attacks' and we'd been the ones he'd called in to take care of it.
I sighed, glancing out the window, then leaning forward to look over Sam's shoulder. Who on earth could he be emailing? It's not like we had any friends. He closed the laptop a little when he noticed me prying and I sat back with a smirk.
"Keeping secrets, Sammy?" I asked, and Dean looked over at him with a frown.
"No," he snapped, but I knew I'd hit the nail on the head.
"Who were you emailing then?" I asked, pushing for information.
"Nobody, mind your own business!" He said again and I shrugged. Whatever.
"So Chris says the chupas are back?" I asked, looking at Cole. Apparently she'd been with John when the call came in. I grinned, how convenient. She nodded silently at me.
"But we killed them all," Sam said, turning to stare out the windshield at the forest stretching before us.
"Yeah well, we must have missed a couple," Dean muttered, he looked frustrated. The last time we'd been down here he'd been attacked by a chupacabra, it tried to take a huge chunk out of his shoulder, I hadn't been able to do anything about it. I'd been on range attack and the chupa had been way too close to Dean for me to safely take it out, so I'd watched helpless as Dean was gnawed upon until John had shot it in the head.
Once we reached Chris's everyone sprang into action. I was lagging a bit behind, my head had faded to a dull ache, but my I was still feeling really seedy. Dean handed me a couple of aspirin and a bottle of water and I took them gratefully, flashing him a smile.
John and Bobby had the entire tray of the truck loaded with rifles and ammo, and we went about doing the safety checks and loading the guns. Dean and I were loading our own rifles, silently contemplating the hunt ahead of us.
I looked up to see John talking quietly with Cole, discussing the rifle with her though I suspected maybe they weren't just talking shop. I saw him glance over at me and I shifted a little uncomfortably, I was starting to feel paranoid – like at any time he was going to find out about Dean and me, leading to a complete breakdown of the family unit.
"You gonna be ok?" Dean asked, concerned eyes watching me, he slid some more ammo into my jacket pocket, using the opportunity to brush his hand along my side.
"Yeah, I'll live," I said with a grimace. "How is it your head isn't killing you?"
"Oh it is, but I'm not about to let Dad know that," he said with a chuckle. "I'm not the precious daughter," he added with a wink.
"Hey! He's just as hard on me as he is you," I argued, but I knew it wasn't true.
"Cherry-pie you don't know what hard is when it comes to Dad," he commented with a look over at John and bumping into me with his shoulder.
"Nawwww, poor hard done by Dean," I teased, ruffling his hair. He stepped back and gave me a playful shove.
"Shove off you pain!" He said with a laugh, flashing me a smile.
"He'll take you with him so he can keep an eye on you," Dean said, sobering.
"I don't need babysitting!" I snapped, and he raised an eyebrow at me.
"Well, I'll feel better about it, means I don't have to worry so much about you," he said quietly. I contemplated that; if his own head was killing him as much as mine was then it probably was best we didn't pair together for this hunt. I nodded quietly.
"Yeah okay," I said quietly.
As if reading our minds, John stepped up and cleared his throat, drawing all our attention.
"Right. Dean you're with Bobby. Beth you come with me," John said and Dean snickered, giving me an I told you so look. John looked over at Cole. "You pair up with Sam," he said and she nodded.
Chris walked up next to us with his arm in a sling, he looked unhappy about the fact that he was missing out on the hunt this time.
"They're about ten clicks over the ridge," he said to John. "They seem to be on the move, I found their den but they'd abandoned it days ago. Six of them from what I could tell, the bastards reproduce quicker than humans, that's for sure." John contemplated this statement, nodding.
"We'll finish the job, don't worry," he said, reaching into the back of the truck and pulling back the tarpaulin that was there. I grimaced at the carcass of a deer lying in the back, he and Bobby had shot one on the way here, it was fresh, blood oozing out the side; flies were already starting to collect around the bullet wounds.
"This time we bring them to us," John said with a cunning look in his eyes.
John and Bobby took the front of the truck, which meant the four of us kids had to get in the back with the deer. I fought back the urge to vomit as I crouched in the back, holding on to the truck's cab at the front. Cole was opposite me doing the same while Dean and Sam took the back, sitting in the rear corners on the other side of the deer.
The truck started up and we inched our way down a fire access road into the woods. After a time John came to a stop and Dean opened the gate of the truck bed up, jumping down to the ground. He started to pull the tarp out, moving the deer and Sam gave it a shove from the other side. The deer fell to the ground with a sickening squish and I felt my gag reflex kick in, fighting it back. I took a couple of deep breaths and jumped down from the truck bed, collecting my rifle.
"Couple of clicks in and we'll set up," John said to Dean, who nodded and started to tug at the tarp. Sam took the other corner and together they managed to move the deer into the woods.
I checked my rifle again and felt Bobby come up beside me.
"How's the head?" He asked with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and looked at him.
"How do you think?" I asked and chuckled a little. Bobby had never seen me quite so intoxicated before.
"Frankly I'm surprised the pair of you are even out of bed," he said with a chuckle. I looked at him, wondering if that was a double entendre. He had a bit of a twinkle to his eye.
"Well you know Dad, rules are rules – we party hard, we still have to work the next day." I said to him, grimacing at my head.
"Ehh, rules are made to be broken. John needs to lighten up a little, you're good kids, you deserve a little happiness." Bobby said. I wondered if he was going to have the same attitude if he ever found out about Cole and John.
"Thanks Bobby," I said quietly, looking over my rifle again. I wasn't so sure John would feel the same way when we broke the news to him.
When we reached Sam and Dean they were bickering about how best to proceed through the underbrush with the deer.
"Just bloody move that branch there Sammy," Dean said pointing and then looking frustrated when Sam got the wrong one. "No, not that one... this one!" He said, giving a different branch a kick.
"Pipe down the pair of you," John said, "these things aren't deaf." The boys fell silent, getting the job done. Bobby was observing a clearing ahead of us, and he and John discussed the next step.
"Move the deer into the middle, then we'll take flanking positions," Bobby said, nodding to the boys. They followed their orders and I moved up alongside John, ready to move on with him.
Chupacabras have a beautiful clicking noise they use to communicate, along with howls that sound like whales, if they weren't underwater. It was the only thing I liked about them, and it wasn't enough for me to put them on the preservation list.
One of the chupas moved into the clearing, smelling the blood that was being carried on the breeze. It sniffed the air and moved cautious forward. John held his hand up in the air for everyone to see, indicating we needed to wait to attack. I readied my rifle, sighting the creature.
More clicking sounded and the five other creatures moved into the clearing too. I held my breath, picking out a new target. When John's hand dropped beside me I didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, and watched as all but one of the chupas dropped to the ground. The survivor moved like lightning when it saw the rest of it's companions fall to the ground, whirling toward the trees closest it: the ones John and I were currently hiding in.
The creature crashed into the bushes we were hiding in, and fell on top of me. I yelped as I rolled, pushing it off me to land a few feet away. John pulled his handgun out and shot it three times, it fell to the ground a bloody mess. Gross!
John helped me to my feet, and I smiled at him. He took a mere second to assess that I was okay, before turning back to the clearing, his eyes looking shocked and frustrated to see Cole out in the open. I stared at her, confused. What was she doing out in the open? Then I realised, she'd panicked when she saw the chupa come at us.
Cole turned back to Sam and suddenly she shouted a warning to him. It was too late. I heard Sam yell as another chupa attacked him from behind. We'd been flanked by the very creatures we were hunting, and there was more than six. The chupa landed on Sam's back, tearing into his skin with it's claws, and Sam screamed in pain when the chupa bit him, starting to suck on his blood.
John was sprinting across the clearing and I was right on his heels. Cole paused to take a shot and then I saw her throw her rifle on the ground in anger before diving into the trees, tackling the chupa to the ground with nothing more than a knife to defend herself with. John cursed, crashing into the bush and firing his gun as soon as he was in range. The chupa that was pinning Cole to the ground fell dead, and Cole rolled it off her.
"Sammy!" I said breathlessly, reaching his side. I looked at his back, it was torn up and bloody. Pulling my jacket off, I gritted my teeth and took off Dean's favourite t-shirt, grimacing at what he was going to say when he saw me using it as a compress for Sam's wounds. I shoved it against Sam's back and held it firm.
"Get up!" John ordered Cole, pulling her to her feet. "What the Hell is wrong with you?! Do you have a death wish?!" He was really angry, his voice seething with frustration as he lectured her. "You never leave your partner, not for an instant. You don't let your emotions get in the way! You stick to the job!" I flinched at the sound of his words, glad it wasn't me on the receiving end of them, but feeling sorry that Cole was bearing the brunt of his anger.
Dean knelt down beside Sam and sighed. "Ehh, it's just a flesh wound Sammy," he muttered, but his eyes looked worried. He saw me crouched in nothing but a bra and pulled his overshirt off, draping it around my shoulders, taking over holding the compress against Sam's back while I slipped my arms into the warm shirt and did the buttons up with a grateful smile.
"Sammy?" John asked, finished with his tirade against Cole. "You're gonna be ok son," he said, and he looked up at Dean and me.
"Get him to the medical centre, the rest of us will stay here and check for more." He said. We nodded and helped Sam to his feet. He was groggy and faint, leaning heaving on us, trying not to cry out in pain at every move.
"Bobby can you help them get Sam to the car, and check that end of the canyon for any other stragglers? I'll take Cole and head up to the other end," John said. I took the lead, handgun ready while Bobby helped Dean with Sam.
I sat in the back with Sam while Dean drove us to the medical centre.
"You're gonna be okay Sammy," I reassured him, he was looking pale, but otherwise all right. I didn't think the chupa had done any lasting damage from what I was seeing.
"I can't believe you used my t-shirt as a bandage!" Dean muttered from the front seat, but he grinned at me. I grimaced, I'd really liked that t-shirt too.
"You'll survive it," I quipped at him, Sam snorted and chuckled to himself.
"I won't survive him bleeding all over the upholstery, so just make sure it's doing its job!" He said with a smirk, I rolled my eyes playfully at him and smiled. I sobered, thinking about everything that had just happened.
"Dad went pretty hard on Cole back there," I said to Dean, and he looked in the mirror at me.
"She had it coming, that was a rookie move," he said, frowning "She's supposed to know better, if it were any of us he'd have kicked us halfway into next week. If you ask me, she got off light.". I did agree, but he also didn't know the reason behind her actions. Even if he did I doubted he would change his tune, he was a lot like John when it came to doing the job. You did it to the best of your abilities and you didn't let your emotions get in the way. I wondered just how much that was true with him, especially now. There'd always been exceptions to that rule around Sammy for us, we were forever getting ourselves into trouble over that kid – trouble that could be avoided if we'd just follow the rules.
The rules. I sighed and looked out the window. Like we could talk. Weren't we a fine example of good children? I thought sarcastically. Running around and exploring a relationship when it had been expressly forbidden. My head throbbed at the idea, but I was able to put it aside as Dean pulled the Impala in to the medical centre.
The doctor took one look at Sam and frowned.
"What got in to you son?" He asked, and we looked up.
"Uhh, mountain lion," Dean said, the lie coming effortlessly from his mouth. "If you can believe it, jumped him out of nowhere, took us completely by surprise."
"Hmph, don't usually see mountain lion attacks around here," the Doctor said thoughtfully. He started to collect a few items together as Sam relaxed on the table. "Going to need some stitching, and a bit of a clean up. Doesn't appear as you have lost too much blood, so I don't think you'll need any, you've been very lucky."
I was starting to feel sick, and it wasn't just the gashes along Sam's back and the bite in his shoulder. I took a few deep breaths and then excused myself, heading outside for some fresh air. I was pacing by the Impala when Dean came and found me.
"What's wrong?" He asked, watching me as I walked back and forth, wringing my hands. My breath was coming in short, sharp intakes and I had a moment to wonder if I was about to have a panic attack.
"Beth?" He asked again when I didn't answer.
I stopped, turning conflicted eyes to him. He recognised the look almost immediately.
"No, no, no, no, no. You stop that line of thought right now," he said, coming to me and pulling me into his arms. "There was nothing we could have done any differently to have prevented this from going down."
I sighed, giving in to the feeling of his chest against my cheek, wrapping my arms around his waist. "But if we'd not had such a hard night, if we'd had a little more sleep... one of us could have partnered with him, we wouldn't have missed that chupa..." I trailed off, guilt hitting me like a tonne of bricks.
Dean lifted my chin up to look me in the eyes, his soft hazel gaze watched me affectionately. "There's nothing I would have done any differently, all right?" He said pointedly. I nodded.
"But the rules Dean... people just seem to get hurt whenever we break them." I commented. It wasn't the first time one of us had nearly ended up dead because the rules didn't get followed. I'd split up from Dean during a spirit hunt three years ago when John had specifically told him not to let me out of his sight, and I'd nearly wound up dead because of it. It had been one of the major reasons why we'd both taken a step back when I'd kissed him shortly after: why it had taken so long to get to this point in our relationship.
"I don't care, Beth. I mean, maybe it had nothing to do with any of that. It was Cole who split up from Sam, not us, he was her responsibility! She knows the rules just as well as any of us." Dean pointed out. I closed my eyes and sighed. He was right. We weren't the only ones breaking the rules, John himself was.
"Don't pull away again," he said softly to me, and I looked up into guarded eyes. Reaching up I brushed a hand along his cheek, he closed his eyes and leaned in to my touch, savouring it.
"I'm not..." I said, pulling his head down slightly so I could kiss him. "I'm not." I reiterated, pressing my forehead against his and holding him to me. Dean let out a breath he'd been holding and I reminded myself that we were capable of being adults, of putting our feelings and emotions aside to do the job. I realised with a surprise that I'd actually done exactly that during the hunt; my focus had been solely on the chupacabra pack, I hadn't thought about Dean once during the whole attack. Somehow this realisation helped.
We waited for Sam to get patched up by the doctor and then got him into the back of the car again. He seemed anxious about something, but I let it go, so many other things running through my mind.
As we pulled up to Bobby's house, we weren't expecting the scene that was unfolding.
"What the hell is going on here?" Dean said as we looked out the windshield toward the house. Bobby was on the front porch waving a shotgun at John, Cole was on the steps between them looking frantic.
Oh shit,I thought, my heart leaping into my throat. There was only one thing that I could think of that would lead Bobby to this kind of a showdown. He'd found out about John and Cole.
Dean was already out of the car, moving quickly toward John.
"Hey, hey what's going on?!" He called out.
"Stay here Sam," I said and I got out and followed him.
"Bobby, let's talk about this…" John said to the older man calmly, his hands in the air as he tried to calm the situation down.
"Nothing to talk about Winchester!" Bobby snapped, and he cocked the gun. I gasped and Dean looked shocked.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Dean said, moving forward, his own hands out in front of him.
"Bobby!" I called out, feeling my jaw drop. I didn't know exactly how we were going to get out of this situation. There was always going to be the showdown, and this exact situation was exactly what I was panicking about earlier when I was thinking of telling John about Dean and I. On the plus side, it didn't look like Bobby was going to be disclosing our secret to John any time soon.
"You kids need to get out of here, this doesn't involve you," Bobby said in our direction and I grabbed Dean's arm, squeezing it.
"Dean…" I said quietly.
"No," he said to me, shaking his head and shrugging off my hand.
"Bobby…" John said again, taking a step forward.
"Shut up! I've heard all I want to out of you!" Bobby snarled at him and I felt my breath catch.
"Dad…stop!" Cole said, and Bobby glanced over at her, hesitating.
"Get back in the house Nicole," he said and she shook her head at him. He realised what she was saying, the resolute look in her eyes. Narrow eyes assessed her and turned a cold gaze toward her. "You leave now, you don't bother coming back. You understand me?" He said. I gasped. No way! There were tears in his eyes; Dean looked shocked at the proclamation.
Cole looked at him stubbornly, anger coming up to her face. "I understand perfectly," she said, picking up the bag that was at her feet. She pretty much ran to her car, throwing herself and the back in the door, roaring the engine to life.
"Wait, Bobby, this is ridiculous!" I cried out, looking frantically between him and the car.
Bobby said nothing, just watched as she skidded down the driveway. He started waving the gun at John and finally the other man acted, he started to push Dean and I back toward the Impala and then was heading toward his truck.
"Get in the car kids, we're leaving!" John snapped. I stood shocked, wondering how everything had gotten to this point.
"I'm not going," Sam's voice said suddenly from the side of the Impala. I turned, shocked.
"Like hell you're not!" John said, coming back toward us. "Get in the car, now!"
"No, Dad! I'm not taking orders from you anymore! I'm sick of it, I'm sick of how everything just falls apart around us. I want to go to college, and do something with my life!" He said, moving gingerly with the wounds at his back.
"Sam, don't be stupid, you are doing something with your life, you're helping people, that's what we do!" Dean said, turning toward Sam, who shook his head.
"I'm going to college," he said resolutely.
"Oh Sam…" I said sadly, I knew it had been coming, I'd just been kind of hoping he'd have a change of heart.
"You will do what I tell you to do!" John snapped at him, pushing him toward the Impala. Sam flinched at the sudden movement, the pulling on his stitches.
"John…" Bobby said warningly, coming down from the porch a few steps. "Let the boy make his own decision."
"You stay out of this!" John snapped at him and then turned back to Sam.
"I've made up my mind Dad." Sam said, standing a little taller, lifting his chin up.
"This is ridiculous, this is just…" Dean was shaking his head, pacing next to me. I was speechless, I didn't know what to say.
"This family has done everything for you Sam, we need you, you can't just walk out," John said.
"You know what Dad? I'm sick and tired of hearing it! I didn't ask for this, ok? I didn't ask for Mom to die in that fire, or for you to pull me out and raise me as a hunter! I don't want to be a hunter Dad! I want a real life, I want to go to college, make friends, and just forget about all of this. It's just not important Dad! How many times have we all nearly died? How many times do Dean and Beth have to come close to death before you give up on this bullshit vendetta of yours?! " He yelled. He took a breath. "Mom would want more for us."
John stared stonily at him. "You don't know what your mother would want, you didn't know her."
"That's right Dad! I didn't know her. I never knew her, I wouldn't even know what she looked like if it weren't for photos. But I gotta believe that the last thing she'd want is for her own kids to end up dead like she did!" Sam's eyes were flashing and he walked over to John's truck, hoisting his duffel out of the back with a groan, flinching at the wounds in his back.
"Get in the house Sam, you can stay here until you go to Stanford," Bobby said, looking at John as if to dare him to challenge.
"You're hurt Sammy, you need someone to take care of those wounds," I said, starting to panic. Would he really leave us?
"I'll be ok Beth, Bobby can take care of it," he said, turning gentle eyes toward me.
"No, don't do this, don't leave like this," I said, shaking my head.
"I gotta do this," he said, looking over at his father, and then Dean. I felt Dean shift angrily behind me, shaking his head. He was fuming.
"You walk through that door Sam; you don't bother coming back," John said stonily, I felt my jaw drop.
Sam stiffened, looking back at John. "If that's how you feel about it," he said, his eyes glittering with tears.
"Damn straight it is," John said.
"No! No, this is stupid!" I said, coming between the pair of them. "Dean!" I said, looking over at him, beseeching him to intervene.
Dean shook his head, looking conflicted.
"Dad, don't do this," I said to John, and he looked at me, his eyes dark and angry.
"Make up your mind Sam," he said coldly, looking back at the youngest of us all who was standing there, watching us struggle.
"I'm going," he said quietly, and he moved toward the porch steps.
John moved to grab him but Bobby stepped forward with the shotgun again.
"Kid's made his choice John," he said, glaring at our father.
"Beth, get in the car," John said to me with a nod toward Bobby.
"What? No!" I said, shaking my head. "No, I'm not leaving Sam here."
"Yes you are, he's made his choice," John said and he shoved me back into Dean's arms. "Get her in the car, now!" Dean looked from John to Sam, holding me in his arms as I felt the tears start to pool in my eyes.
"Come on Sammy, don't do this," he said to his brother, beseeching him to see reason.
"Sorry Dean, I have to, I'm not a hunter," Sam said sadly. "I'm not like you."
"I said get in the car!" John said, coming to stand in front of Dean and I, his eyes meeting Dean's, the look he gave Dean was an order in itself.
Dean stood to attention, his arms tightening around me. He nodded almost unperceptively and then he grabbed me by the arms, hauling me toward the car.
"No!" I said, struggling.
"Beth, dammit get in the car, we can't win this one," he said quietly to me, the tone in his voice stilled me. "Come on."
"Last chance!" John called out to Sam, looking up at the young man on the porch.
Sam said nothing, simply lifted his defiant eyes to his father, his spine stiffening. I found myself shoved into the passenger seat of the Impala, Dean slamming the door closed.
I rolled down the window, looking out toward Sam. "You are a stubborn idjit John Winchester," Bobby said, shaking his head at us all. He lowered the shotgun he was holding and took a step back up the porch steps to stand next to Sam.
"You can talk old man," John muttered, and he turned on his heel, heading for his truck. He jumped in and the engine roared to life. Dean was watching Sam from the front of the Impala, but he moved when John's truck started to peel down the driveway, hurrying to start the Impala and follow.
"We can't leave him Dean, we can't!" I said, looking at him urgently.
"Yes, we can. He wants this." Dean said coldly, starting the car and pulling away from Bobby's house. I stared at him.
"He's a kid!" I said, gaping at him.
"He's 19!" Dean snapped. I shook my head.
"Not to me," I said, looking out the back window at Sam as we pulled away. To me he was just that little thirteen year old kid with a shaggy haircut who had been a brother to me from the moment the Winchesters walked into my life.
John booked us into the first motel he came to on our way leaving Bobby's. He opened the door to the motel room; I cringed as he tossed his bag across the room. It hit the wall with a loud bang.
"The pair of you stay here!" He said angrily and he walked back out of the room, getting in his truck and roaring off.
"God Dean!" I said, collapsing on the bed.
Dean was pacing the floor of the room, a quiet tension rolling off him in waves.
"Maybe if we call Sam…" I started.
"No!" He said resolutely, looking up at me.
"I said no! Damn him. Who does he think he is?" Dean said, running a hand through his hair.
"What? It's Sammy. You really didn't see this coming? God, come on now. What did you think he was going to do? Just keep hunting with us forever?" The look he gave me said it all, he really hadn't thought about it, he had been so stuck in the rut that was our lives.
"Wow," I said quietly. "Well, Dean, that was a little naïve," I said, standing up and coming over to him.
"Was it?" He asked, stepping away from me. "You think it was a little too much to ask that he give his all to this family like the rest of us have? He just walked out on us Beth!"
I sighed, he was angry, I got it. But he wasn't usually so blind to reason. "I'm glad he's going," I said quietly. Dean looked up at me in surprise.
"What?!" He asked, staring at me.
"Well really Dean, he's smart, he has a chance to do something with his life," I said.
"And we don't? What, we're high school drop outs so we won't ever amount to anything?" He asked testily.
"I didn't say that," I replied, but he was off and running with this tangent.
"Because I didn't get a choice Beth! I had to look after Sam, I had to look after you!" He snapped, crossing to the mini-bar where he helped himself to a small travel bottle of whiskey.
"Well, sorry to be such a burden Dean!" I snapped back at him, shaking my head at him.
"Well why didn't you finish school? Huh? You're smart, hell you're smarter than Sam. Why aren't you off getting some damn degree?" He asked, eyes flashing angry.
I stared at him, an incredulous look on my face; almost smiling I was so flabbergasted.
"What?" Dean asked, seeing the smile. "What are you smiling at?"
"You don't get it, do you?" I asked, and he turned to look at me.
"Don't get what?" He asked.
"What was I going to go away to school for? I don't know how to do anything except hunt! More importantly, going away to school would mean I wouldn't be with you!" I waited for that to sink in.
"So I'm holding you back?" He said stubbornly.
"What?! Oh my god you can be a complete ass sometimes!" I said, hurt.
"And now I'm an ass! Perfect!" Dean said, throwing his hands up in the air. He swallowed the entire contents of the bottle in his hand, and tossed it in the bin, reaching for another bottle.
"Yeah, like that's going to help!" I snapped at him, sighing.
"Well I am an ass!" He bitched at me. "You know, Sam has always thought he was better than the rest of us. He thinks he's so damn special, like he has some monopoly on doing the right thing, being the perfect person. He doesn't see all the sacrifices we made for him, Dad, me, hell even you Beth!"
"He's a kid Dean! I would think you'd want him to get out of this life, it'll keep him safe!" I said, grabbing my forehead with my hand. My head was still pounding from last night, this yelling was just making it worse.
"You don't walk out on your family!" Dean yelled at me, and I flinched, not used to hearing him so angry.
John walked back into the motel room carrying a couple of bottles of whiskey and bourbon, he sat them down on the table, and poured himself a drink.
"You're right Dean," he muttered, looking over at us both. "You stick by your family, you don't walk out on them."
"Yes sir!" Dean said. I rolled my eyes. These pair were being ridiculous!
"He's just going to college!" I said, exasperated. "God, no wonder he didn't want to talk to you about it." As soon as I'd said, I regretted it. John and Dean spun around to look at me.
"You knew about this?" John asked, his eyes narrowing at me. I felt my breath catch in my throat.
"Not everything, I knew he had applied," I said honestly.
"And you didn't think to mention it?" Dean asked, his voice just as angry.
"Not until it was a sure thing, no!" I said, crossing my arms. "And I'm starting to see why Sam didn't either!"
"That's not the point Beth. You know something about this family, you don't go keeping it a secret." John said and I almost laughed. Who was he kidding?
"Oh really?!" I yelled back at him. "Like you can talk! Anything you want to tell us Dad?! Hmmm?" I stared at him, waiting for the confession that was never going to come.
"That's right, I forgot. You're like Vegas, something goes on with you and no one ever hears about it!" I said, throwing my hands in the air.
"Don't you talk to me like that young lady," John said and I shook my head at him.
"You know, what do you want from us Dad?" I asked, my voice dropping to almost a whisper. "You have Dean, you have me, we're not going anywhere. Why can't you just let Sammy be happy?" I headed for the door and John's voice stopped me in my tracks.
"I told you not to leave this motel room!" He snapped and I turned to stare at him. He was issuing a challenge, was I going to obey? Or was I going to walk out like Sam?
Dean looked at me sharply, suddenly he was a huge ball of tension, worrying about what I was going to say next, or what John was.
I took my hand off the door and stared at him, I knew beyond a doubt that if I walked out that door I was saying good bye, and I was never going to do that. I would never walk out on them, no matter how hard it got. They were my life, they were the only constant, my anchor. But I was also angry, and I had to let him know.
"Yes. Sir." I said in a stilted tone, coming to attention. Then I turned with a sigh and walked over to the bed closest to the window. There was a small space between the bed and the window, and I leaned back against the wall, sliding down until I hit the floor. My knees were tucked up to my chest and I wrapped my arms around my legs, laying my head against my knees. It was the only way I could shut them out without leaving. John said nothing further, neither did Dean.
A few hours later and night fell. I hadn't moved, I was starting to think I might not be able to, my limbs had locked up and I was sore. At least my head had stopped throbbing, that was one thing. It was about the only good thing however.
John left the motel room, going for a walk, or to use his phone, or whatever else he usually did when he left us alone. Dean was in the shower, so I decided now was as good a time as any to get up. I stretched my legs out in front of me, feeling the blood start to flow a little more easily. I wriggled my toes, and flexed my arms over my head, rolling my head in large circles to free up the knots in my neck.
When I figured my legs wouldn't give out under me I pulled myself up using the bed. I sat down, and rummaged through my duffel bag. I was still upset over the way John and Dean had reacted to Sam's declaration. I'd expected better of them.
Pulling out a pair of shorts and one of Dean's t-shirts I got changed, and slipped in between the covers on the bed, pulling them up over me. I thought about Sam, and how we'd just abandoned him at Bobby's and how hurt he must be and tears started to form in my eyes. They fell against the pillow as I tried to stifle my sobs.
I felt the mattress move behind me and I stilled my crying, biting down on my lip. Dean leaned in behind me, his hand brushing over my head, pulling my hair back. He had changed into a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt and was lying right behind me.
"Don't cry Beth," he said gently, and it only made me start up again.
"Why not?" I sobbed, turning away from him. "Sam's gone, Dad thinks I'm untrustworthy, you think I'm a burden... what's not to cry about?"
"I don't think that, come on, did I say that?" He said, rolling me over to face him.
"Well it sure sounded like it," I sniffed, looking up at him.
"Beth... I'm angry. Since when do you get upset about us being angry with each other?" He asked, looking at me with an amused expression. He was right, we fought all the time, but that had been different, that had been when we were getting other kinds of frustrations out. I shrugged.
"Since today?" I said softly, looking up at him, feeling every bit as vulnerable as I sounded. Dean's eyes softened as he looked at me and he sighed.
"I don't agree with you about Sam. I never will, his place is here with us," I sighed, looking away in frustration.
"Beth... I don't want to fight," he said. "I don't want to go to bed angry."
I looked up at him, chewing on my lip. I didn't either. I reached up a hand and tentatively brushed it along his cheek.
"I would never think you're a burden." He said.
"How are we ever going to tell Dad?" I sniffed, "look at how angry he is with Sam! He's not technically breaking a rule."
He paused and looked at me. "We'll figure it out, together." He said, looking at me.
"Are you sure you want to?" I said, chewing on my lower lip.
"Don't do that," he said quietly.
"Do what?" I asked.
"Push me away again," Dean said, the implications of what he was saying showing clearly in his eyes. I'd been doing it for years, and it had taken its toll. I suddenly realised that as much as it had hurt me to do it, pushing him away had been even harder on him.
"Dean..." I said, looking up at him.
"Yeah?" He said, hazel eyes watching me.
"I..." love you is what I would have said, had John not chosen that exact moment to walk back inside. Dean rolled back from me, looking up at his father who more or less ignored us as he made his way across the room to the other bed.
"We have a job, we'll leave in the morning," John said, pouring himself a coffee from the pot in the little kitchenette.
"What kind of job?" Dean asked, turning to sit up on the other side of the bed.
"Poltergeist, over in Pennsylvania," John answered, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Heh, should be interesting," Dean commented, looking over a me. I shrugged to indicate I was listening, but I was still angry at John and the way things had been handled. I didn't want to give him an inch on this one.
"Get some sleep, both of you, we leave at first light." I rolled over to face the wall again, turning my back to Dean who got up to use the bathroom. When he came back in he crawled under the covers with me, turning his back to me in a show of purely platonic relations.
John crawled into his own bed, his journal in his hand, making notes under the lamp. I tried to sleep but it wouldn't come. I felt Dean tossing and turning behind me, acutely aware of just how close he was to me, yet so completely out of bounds.
I realised I'd forgotten to do my prayers, I got out of bed and grabbed the candle from my bag, pulling my rosary out from around my neck. I looked over at John, questioning without saying a word, he was watching me quietly. When he saw my look, he nodded and I let myself out of the room.
I found a quiet spot under a tree and lit the candle. Settling into a meditative state, I took some deep breaths, thinking about all the people I'd lost in my life, and the people I loved. I didn't know where Cole was, I didn't know if Sam was ok, I didn't know if Bobby would ever talk to us again. But I knew my place, and it helped a little. I said my prayer rounds, then watched the stars for a while, just taking in the balmy evening.
The room was dark when I returned to it, and I felt my way over to the bed, slipping back in between the sheets. Dean rolled once more and slipped his arm around my waist, coming to settle behind me. I leaned back into his warmth and felt the weariness of the day claim me, pulling me into a deep sleep.
Tomorrow was a new day, and we'd take it as it came. I pushed all my worries about Sam out of my mind. I let go of my anger at John for the time being. I pulled myself into the moment, and right now I was in a warm bed, with Dean wrapped around me, and I was happy. Somehow it was enough.
Song for this chapter is: Everything has changed by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran
Go and check out the video for the song, it is SO CUTE! I looked at it and was like "Awwww, that is Dean & Beth if their parents had stayed in Lawrence and they'd been raised together." Cute!
So that's the end of Season 2 now. Everything is going to be happening over at Season 3 story "Hell to Pay" so be sure to go check it out. Hope you've enjoyed this little look into the start of their relationship. The story of Kittanning will be told in a future episode, but next up is The Kids Are Alright.
If you're the praying type – could really use some prayers of health for my son who has had a bit of a cold (hence the slow going on updates) and some for me because I can't afford to get sick! :D Also, the sale of the house I co-own with the ex-MIL and her son would be really great too so I can move on from that annoying situation :) We had people looking at it today who are looking for the exact set-up we have at the property, so fingers crossed!
Be sure to check out EarthhAngel's story How To Save a Life over at her FanFic page. This is Beth's version of the that story, but there is so much more to get out of it if you read Cole's version too!
Please read & review, you know I love it :)