Disclaimer: If I owned SNK, I'd leave a lot more characters alive.
So I've clearly written another SNK story. I think I got the characterization right. Levi was a bit hard, but I think I got him a littler better than my last one. This is just something that came to mind. I hope it's good. Let the deadly tale begin!
"So why are we having some sort of cleaning inspection today?"
Eren narrowed his eyes in confusion as Petra continued to organize the shelves in the pantry. He had been cleaning out the horse stables when she showed up and dragged him into the kitchen to help clean, saying something about an inspection later in the day.
"Captain Levi said that we're going to have a cleaning inspection today," Petra said as she tossed Eren a bag of rolls to put on the shelf.
"So why are we stuck putting away the inventory?" Eren asked. "And are we sure that this isn't Levi being the neat freak that he is?"
"I think Commander Irvin ordered it, but Captain Levi just took charge of it," Petra responded. "He likes to make sure things are done his way."
"So everything's going to have to be insanely clean or we're all in for it," Eren rolled his eyes as he straightened up the cans of tomato sauce on one of the shelves.
"That's how it works," Petra grabbed a nearby step stool to place some cans of beans on the top shelf.
"Petra, let me get the stuff on the top shelf," Eren offered.
"It's okay. I've already got it," Petra nodded as she hopped off the stool and used her foot to nudge it over to the side of the room.
"So how much more of this do we have to do?" Eren asked.
"Until it's all finished. Isn't that obvious?"
Petra and Eren spun around and found Levi standing behind them, his eyes scanning the room.
"Well, I knew that, obviously," Eren rolled his eyes again.
"Then why did you ask such a stupid question?" Levi narrowed his eyes.
"What's going on, Captain?" Petra asked to try to keep the two men civil.
"Eren, go finish cleaning the dungeon," Levi commanded, turning his attention to Eren.
"But I already cleaned it," Eren stated.
"It doesn't seem so," Levi responded. "I found a large dust pile behind the bed."
"But that's behind the bed!" Eren exclaimed.
"Meaning that it's still there because you did a shit job of cleaning," Levi said. "Do it again."
"Okay, okay," Eren let a few choice words slip out under his breath as he left the pantry.
"Is this room-" Levi started to say.
"Before you finish, no it isn't," Petra shook her head.
"So what's taking so long?" Levi asked, eyes on Petra.
"You do realize that I need to stand on a step stool just to reach the top shelf, right?" Petra glanced towards Levi as she stood up on her tip-toes to put some cans of beans on a higher shelf.
"Apparently you do," Levi said. "Would you like me to get Connie or Jean to help you?"
"They were out with the horses earlier," Petra answered.
"Eren was meant to be cleaning the stables today," Levi frowned in confusion.
"Commander Irvin told some of the newbies to run them around the castle a few times for the exercise," Petra explained. "They should be finished by now."
"Go find them and tell them to help you with this," Levi shook his head. "And come find me when you're finished,"
"Got it," Petra nodded.
Levi left the pantry and made his way out to the garden where he found Sasha weeding the flowerbeds. A large pile of weeds was behind her and she was still throwing weeds over her shoulder when Levi reached her.
"Inspection time, Sasha," Levi said.
"I'm nearly done, Captain," Sasha announced.
"The garden suggests otherwise," Levi shook his head. "Have you finished pruning the rose bushes yet?"
"Yes, sir," Sasha nodded, turning around to face him.
"Do them again," Levi ordered.
"What?" Sasha was clearly surprised by this. "What for?"
"That's the worst pruning job on a rose bush that I've ever seen," Levi said simply.
"They look marvelous!" Sasha said, gesturing towards the rose bushes with a strange sense of pride.
Levi, on the other hand, did not agree. It looked like Sasha had first attempted some bizarre form of topiary that resembled something that looked strangely similar to a walrus before she realized that topiary was for shrubs and hedges and certainly not roses. Instead of looking like a nicely pruned rose bush, the roses now looked like some sort of scientific experiment gone horribly wrong.
"Sasha, if that is your idea of marvelous, than perhaps Hanji can do her experiments on you," Levi sighed in exasperation.
"Oh?" Sasha frowned. "Why do you say that, sir?"
"Because this is a sorry-ass excuse for a rose bush!" Levi exclaimed. "Do it properly!"
"Yes, sir," Sasha sighed. "And then I can go eat?"
"You do realize that it's only two in the afternoon, right?" Levi looked at her in surprise.
"Your point is, Captain?" Sasha asked.
"Why are you wanting to eat again just after lunch?" Levi asked.
"It's enough time after lunch to justify having an afternoon snack," Sasha explained.
"You won't be eating again until those rose bushes are trimmed properly," Levi said as he turned and started to walk away. "Get going."
Sasha grumbled in complaint, but began working as Levi made his way away from the garden and back up to the castle.
He turned around at the familiar voice and found Günter walking towards him. The other man was carrying a box filled to the top with carrots, tomatoes, cabbage and spinach in his arms and looked rather confused about something.
"Is something wrong, Günter?" Levi asked, eyes examining the vegetables in the box.
"I just didn't know where I was meant to put these vegetables, sir," Günter answered.
"Put them in the stables with the horses," Levi hoped the man would pick up on his sarcasm.
"Really, sir?" Apparently Günter hadn't noticed that Levi wasn't completely serious.
"No, you asinine moron," Levi rolled his eyes. "Why the hell would you put them in the stables?"
"Because you told me to?" Günter was rather confused by what Levi was telling him.
Levi sighed before he said, "Where do we put vegetables?"
"In the kitchen," Günter responded.
"So put them there," Levi started to walk away.
"But Petra told me to keep them out of the kitchen!" Günter exclaimed.
"Why would she do that?" Levi stopped and turned around, facing the other man again.
"Because she was still cleaning the kitchen?" Günter's response sounded like a question.
"Go back to Petra and tell her to put the box on top of the stove until she can finish cleaning the rest of the kitchen," Levi said.
"Yes sir," Günter nodded and walked off in the direction of the kitchens.
"You'd think that I'm running everything around here," Levi muttered under his breath as he headed back inside the castle.
After encounters with Historia (wanting to know where the cleaning rags were kept), Jean (wondering where Petra was), and Auruo (trying to find the extra rakes for cleaning the gardens), Levi made his way to the top level of the castle. All he had to do was inspect Hanji's room and he was finished. At least for a little while.
"Hanji, you in?" Levi asked, not even bothering to knock as he opened the door and walked into the room. He knew she wouldn't care if he barged into her room unannounced.
"Just finishing cleaning the bathroom, Levi," Hanji's voice came from the direction of the bathroom.
"Guilty conscience?" Levi asked, sitting down on Hanji's bed as he waited for her to finish.
"What do you mean?" Hanji asked as she appeared out of the bathroom.
"Did you forget that I told you we were having a surprise cleaning inspection today?" Levi asked her.
"No…" Hanji knew that her lie was obvious.
"I thought so," Levi offered her a rare smile.
"So what's the verdict?" Hanji asked, though she wasn't worried. She had known Levi well enough to know exactly where he always checked during the cleaning inspections.
"Well, you got the spaces behind the bed," Levi had crawled over to the headboard and was peering at the space between the bed and the wall.
"The underside of the bed has been swept out, too," Hanji told him.
"You know me well," Levi had hopped off the bed and was now on the floor, inspecting the space underneath Hanji's dresser.
"Moved it and swept everything out," Hanji said with an air of nonchalance.
"Everything looks clean…" Levi muttered to himself as he stood up again, taking a slow glance around the room. He walked over to the windows on the opposite side of the room and, after staring at them for a few seconds, said, "You even cleaned the windows…"
"I think I know how much of a neat freak you are," Hanji said as she walked over to where Levi was standing. "More than anyone, I should say."
"Is that so?" Levi turned around and faced her.
"Yes, I believe so," Hanji nodded as she bent down and gave Levi a quick kiss.
"Just because you and I are in a relationship doesn't mean that you now know everything about me, Hanji," Levi said as he walked over to the bed and sat down.
"No, but I'm allowed to tease you more and get away with it," Hanji grinned.
"When we're not around people," Levi reminded her. "You can't go undermining my authority with people are around."
"Yeah, I know," Hanji said as she joined Levi on the bed. "So how many more rooms are left?"
"I saved yours for last," Levi responded.
"Ah, I see," Hanji laughed as she wrapped her hand around his.
"That's not necessarily a compliment," Levi said, his eyes on hers.
"How so?" Hanji frowned.
"I honestly figured that your room would be the messiest of all of the rooms," Levi told her. "And that's including Connie's room."
"That's not exactly nice, you know," Hanji said.
"I was pleasantly surprised," Levi leaned towards Hanji and pressed his lips to hers for a few seconds before backing away again.
"So what else did you have to do this afternoon?" Hanji asked.
"I've got a meeting with Commander Irvin in about two hours," Levi said as he lay down on the bed, leaving his legs dangling off the edge.
"So you've got some time to kill?" Hanji had a grin set on her face and Levi knew what that meant.
"For a little bit, yeah," Levi nodded.
"But if you've got two hours, I suppose we could afford to talk a little bit," Hanji sprawled out next to him, never loosening her grip on his hand.
"Wait, you're saying you'd rather talk than fuck for two hours?" Levi looked at her in confusion. "What's up with you?"
"Well, you've been gone on so many recon missions-" Hanji started to explain.
"Yeah, that's part of my job," Levi said as he brushed his hair from his eyes.
Hanji glared at him for a few seconds before she continued.
"I still miss being able to just hang out sometimes."
"Well, we're 'hanging out' now," Levi made quotes in the air with his hand.
"Besides, sex is more of a nightly thing for us," Hanji elaborated as she moved closer to Levi so that she was resting her head on his chest. "Not so much an afternoon thing. You follow?"
"I don't think anyone could follow your train of thought," Levi said as he glanced down at her. "Seriously, how does that make sense?"
"How does it not make sense?" Hanji frowned in confusion.
"People can have sex throughout the day," Levi elucidated. "There's such a thing as morning sex, you know."
"Yes, I know that," Hanji rolled her eyes. "We did that just the other day."
"I remember that," Levi was clearly trying not to be sarcastic.
"So what does that have to do with being confused about sex being a nightly thing for us?" Hanji asked.
"Well, you go on saying that it's a nightly thing when we sometimes fuck in the morning, so why wouldn't we in the middle of the afternoon?" Levi asked, running his fingers through her hair.
"Because people are more likely to come in and find us during the afternoon," Hanji told him. "Remember how you wanted to keep this a secret for a little while?"
"Yes, I remember," Levi answered.
"So we need to stick to night sex as much as we can for now," Hanji continued.
"By the way, Irvin was saying something about possibly trying to catch new Titans for you to experiment on later," Levi knew that Hanji would be happy about hearing this.
"Seriously?" Hanji looked up at Levi, her eyes wide with excitement.
"If we're out on a recon and somehow manage to restrain a Titan, we're meant to bring it back for you," Levi told her. "I don't know if we'll be able to get one, though."
"You'd better get one back!" Hanji exclaimed. "I've had to resort to using Eren for experiments and he isn't very cooperative."
"Well, the safety of my men is a little more important, you know," Levi said.
"Yes, I know," Hanji said.
At that moment, a series of knocks sounded at the door. Acting on instinct, Levi rolled off the bed and jumped to his feet, not wanting to be seen in such an intimate position with Hanji.
"The fuck?" Levi muttered to himself.
"Who is it?" Hanji asked, trying to find a more natural sitting position. She had fallen over when Levi had darted off the bed.
"Petra," came Petra's voice from the other side of the door.
"What the fuck does she want?" Levi glanced towards Hanji.
"What's going on, Petra?" Hanji asked.
"Can I come in?" Petra asked.
"Sure," Hanji nodded, though she knew that Petra couldn't see her.
The door opened and Petra walked into the room. She seemed rather surprised to see Levi in the room, as she narrowed her eyes in confusion.
"Captain Levi, what are you doing here?" Petra asked.
"I needed to talk to Hanji about her ludicrous idea for an experiment," Levi knew that Petra would believe this.
"What do you need, Petra?" Hanji asked as she stood up and faced the other woman.
"Commander Irvin says he needs to speak to you about something," Petra said. "And Captain Levi, Eren says that his dungeon is ready to be inspected."
"It's about time, too," Levi muttered. "He always takes far too long cleaning it."
"So are we going to continue our discussion later, Levi?" Hanji turned back to face Levi as she walked towards Petra.
Levi offered her a rare smile and said, "Yes, I suppose so."
"I'll hold you to it, then," Hanji grinned in return and followed Petra out of the room.
Levi followed after them and headed in the direction of Eren's dungeon. Even though he wanted to be finished with the cleaning inspection by now, he knew that Hanji would want some alone time with him. Cleaning inspections never did go according to plan.
Sorry if the format is a little strange. I'm still trying to figure out this whole copy and paste thing. So that's it for this one. I'm running an idea for a LeviXPetra story around in my head, so that might be the next thing I write. Thanks for reading!