A little angsty something to past the time during one's insomnia. Obi Bashing and
such. A little different from the JA series.




Against the World




Force.

Help me.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, slumping against his closet door. His room. How long
had be been in this damnable room? Such words are unbefitting of a jedi, his
master would say. Odd, only his master wasn't here.

I should be glad for my shields, the young padawan thought. His shields had
recently become his pride. They were impeccable, unbreakable and his only
defense upon the abject temple grounds that was his home. He used them all the
time, just because… he felt like he had to. After all, why would he want to
interrupt his master-

No. That was unfair. He shouldn't question his master's judgment. Even though
he disagreed wholeheartedly. And the whole scenario was ripping his very soul
apart. He swore, he teetered ever closer to the dark side. He had to be,
considering the last hour had been spent with thoughts of jealousy and anger in
his mind. Shielded, of course. But there.

Jealousy at Tahl and her new apprentice, Kinah. Jealousy that his master was
over there, with them, helping her with her saber techniques while he was
grounded to his room for something he didn't do.

Force.

It had been horrible. He'd been at the cafeteria down on level three when he'd
been walking to the trash receptacles. Kinah, with her flowing blond hair and
sparkling blue eyes, had been talking with her friends, and was also heading to
the trash. Bruck had taken the opportunity to smash into Obi-Wan through the
crowd, and his tray had been past Kinah. Then his tray had been force-flung on
elder padawan Chihul-Kan. And off course, she'd blamed the whole mess on
Obi-Wan with a fiery smirk.

His master had hung on her every word, and even Tahl glared and Obi-Wan with
disapproval. Thus, he was sentenced to meditation in his room for four hours
while his master worked with Kinah. His meditations were futile. The whole mess
was futile.

Ever since Tahl had returned from Meilda/Daan, apparently she had been very
close to Qui-Gon. And when Obi-Wan was again accepted as his padawan, there
was the constant wall that was the kind and compassionate creature of Tahl. He
spent all his free time with her and then some. Obi-Wan grimaced at his
thoughts, but it was the truth.

And to make his life worse, Tahl chose the young, spirited and coddled girl
named Kinah, Bruck's sister, as her padawan learner. Needless to say, Obi-Wan
Kenobi was feeling a might bit hurt and depressed at the moment. Alone. While
his master was with-

Just /stop/ it, Kenobi, he thought to himself with a groan. Glancing at the chrono
on his desk, he found it had been four hours. He was free. Itching to release this
anger, he stood and made his way to the training floors.

The hallways were almost deserted. Glancing into the gym, he found it empty.

Qui-Gon must be with Tahl and Kinah for dinner, Obi-Wan thought. Shaking the
pang of jealousy away, he dropped his robes to the floor and withdrew his
lightsaber.

Since the whole ordeal began, it was times like this that he practiced. For hours
on end. It was the only way he could get rid of the nauseating knot in his
stomach, for the thing just would not go into the force when he meditated.
Tonight would be no different.

Breathing calmly, he fell into a defensive posture. What level Kata tonight? He
wondered. Already, he was far, far ahead of every other padawan in his age
group, seeing that he practiced so much. Swinging upon the training bar, he
flipped, and flipped again, his movements graceful in the darkened room.
Fifteen… level sixteen… try for a seventeen tonight, Kenobi? Why not. He had
nothing better to do.


*********************************


Sweaty and sore, Obi-Wan returned roughly around midnight. It was pointless to
try and sleep, his insomnia of late would surely prevent it. As expected, his
master was in bed already, his loud rattling snore filtering into the bathroom. Obi-
Wan showered, and then dropped onto the couch to flip through the late-night
Holo-Vids.


*********************************

"Obi-Wan."

Blinking, Obi-Wan woke with a start and a snort, his nose clogged from sleeping
on the couch. Glancing up, he stared blearily at the stern look on his master's
face.

"M'ster?" He asked.

"Where were you last night, Obi-Wan?"

Surprised, Obi-Wan sat up. "Training, Master. Why?"

"Is that the truth, padawan?" Qui-Gon asked, his beard twitching slightly with his
lips.

"Uh… yes master," Obi-Wan said, stretching.

"Then I suppose you know nothing of the "accident" last night around midnight."

"What accident?" Obi-Wan asked, concerned. He'd heard nothing of it.

"Padawan. I wish you would be honest with me, for once," Qui-Gon frowned,
crossing his arms. "I've had two people proclaim it was you who were planning to
do it. Why are you acting this way?"

"Master," Obi-Wan frowned, "I have not a clue what you are talking about.
Honestly."

"Fine," Qui-Gon said, a trace of anger slipping into his even tone. "Then who was
it who broke Kinah's vase she made last week? Master Yoda? I'm very
disappointed in you, padawan," the master said. Obi-Wan's eyebrows rose.

"But master!"

"No buts. If you 'trained' all last night, then let's see what you've learned. To the
gym. You have ten minutes."

Obi-Wan choked as his master left the room. Bruck. It had to be Bruck and his
gang of initiates. Then again, he was alone last night. No one knew where he
was. Force, he hated this! With Siri and Bant gone on Corellia, and Garen with
his new master… he felt so alone here. Against the world…

Another wave of anger and hurt rippled through his frame. Fine, master, Obi-Wan
thought with tears in his eyes. Let's spar.

The gym was surprisingly empty when Obi-Wan entered, his head held high.

Qui-Gon glanced forward, watching the boy enter. No. Please no. The things
Obi-Wan had been doing lately were so… reminiscent of his last padawan… No.
He would not allow the boy to follow that path. He would work harder, be a
harder master. Something to stop his padawan from taking that path… He
swallowed thickly as he watched Obi-Wan raise his head high. The boy had
nothing to be proud of. His arrogance was another symptom of Xanatos, what
he'd been before he'd fallen.

Not his Obi-Wan. He hadn't believed it when the eleven year old initiate had told
him he's seen Obi-Wan by the art display. But when two more stepped forward, it
was too much to be a coincidence.

The fact that Obi-Wan was constantly shielding wasn't helping matters. Then
again, he hadn't asked entrance to the boy's mind, since he was a little caught up
with Kinah. The girl was behind in her saber' practice, since her master was
unable to see and properly teach her. Thus, he'd been working with the girl to
help her get caught up. And obviously not spent enough time watching his
padawan.

Very well. He would work the boy hard today. Then off to mediations.

Obi-Wan fumed inside. As long and he could do this, and not break down and
cry…

He dropped his robe and drew his lightsaber, breathing in and out. Slowly, he
told himself. Think of the work you've done in these last few months. Show
your… master what you've accomplished. His eyebrows relaxed and his eyes
closed. He was… ready.

Qui-Gon brought a powerful blow down upon Obi-Wan defensive stance, almost
startling the boy. At first, Obi-Wan moved in circles, defensively. Force! His
master had never used such power in his attacks! Already, he felt his muscles
burn.

No. He would do this. He wouldn't back down. He had nothing to back down for.
He respected… and loved his master…

Obi-Wan fought back a tear at this thought, all the while dodging a blow.

But his master didn't show any affection him back. Not a word of praise. Not an
extra minute outside studies. Not a touch, not a hug. That part of Qui-Gon Jinn
was saved for his Tahl, and now Kinah. He knew his master cared for him, but…

He respected and loved his master. But Master Jinn was wrong. And Master Jinn
refused to allow the possibility that he, a jedi master, was wrong. So Obi-Wan
would fight back…

Growling like feral animal, Obi-Wan twisted hard, bringing his saber to Qui-Gon's
flank. The master dodged, but the move caught him off guard. Swing after swing,
the padawan drove the master back, an energy fueling his moves and speed.
Using advanced Kata moves meant for a Jedi Knight, the boy spun and flipped,
dodging and attacking with brutal force. Without touching the dormant bond, Obi-
Wan could sense his master's shock and surprise through the force. And
suddenly, he saw it…

Even before his happened, he saw the opening through the defense, he saw how
he could win, the blow that would claim his victory… As the blades met in mid air,
Qui-Gon was met face-to-face with the gleaming and angry eyes of his
apprentice, sweat tricking down the boy's brow. Obi-Wan moved to the next
blow, the following being the finishing hit-

But his master might be hurt.

He faltered.

In that moment, that moment of indecision, the elder Jedi's own lightsaber easily
batted the boy's aside, bouncing off the blade and into Obi-Wan's side.

The boy paled, and froze. The master did the same. But before Qui-Gon could
even move, Obi-Wan stumbled back. Despite the whole Kinah incident, he still
believed his master cared for him. His master… had just bladed him in his side.
His…master…

Despite the pain, Obi-Wan ran. Drawing on the force, he just… ran.

Qui-Gon stared after him, shock across his face. The sight of blood on the floor
spurred him to action.

"Padawan!" He cried out, his lightsaber dropping to the ground with a clatter. His
worry raced through the temple, and into the other master's minds. His strangled
cry echoed in Master Tahl's mind, and she knew immediately that something was
wrong. Anyone force sensitive knew something was wrong from the choked cry
in Qui-Gon's mind. Everyone but his padawan, who was running, clutching his
side, but still running. Trying to get away from just… everything. Running into the
gardens, into the snow…



TBC