WARNING! This fanfic contains explicit sex of an erotic homosexual nature, USUK. There is alcohol use, language, very erotic situations, and brief kissing scenes of a Franada and Rochu nature.

That's how we do it round here

By Pixiedust291


"I'm not in the mood frog." Arthur growled as he sat on his bed reading a book. The Brit had had a long hard day at work and really just wanted to relax and enjoy the next few days off. Francis, however, had practically jumped him the moment he walked through the door.

"No, you are going out with Mathew, Ivan, and I tonight!" Francis pointed a finger at him and then gestured to the small room around them. "We are in America Arthur! And you have done nothing but go to your internship and then come home to sulk in your room." He lifted up Arthur's book to read the title. He smirked "Besides, reading 50 Shades of Gray can only inflame one's desires for the real thing, no?"

Arthur slapped his hands away with an irritated scowl. "I have not been sulking. It is just nothing in this city interests me."

"You have not even seen the city!" Francis groaned as Ivan walked into the room. "Even Ivan has agreed to go out tonight!" Arthur rolled his eyes. The Russian was finishing putting on a dark purple shirt, probably because Francis had insisted on the color. "Please come with us Arthur, I'm sure you'll find Omaha to be a lot more lively then you think it is. Besides, you might even get lucky."

Ivan smiled "I suppose if the man was very very drunk." Francis snickered at the joke.

"Oh shut it!" Arthur raged, snapping his book shut. "Both of you, out!" He pointed to the door.

"Arthur, Matthew has agreed to be our designated driver so there are no worries. Besides we are also meeting some of Matthew's friends at the bar."

Matthew was another one of the interns that lived in the apartment they all shared. To Arthur's knowledge Matthew did not have any friends outside of Ivan and himself. Francis didn't really count because soon after they became 'friends' the next day they were dating. Arthur pursed his lips. It was true, he hadn't really seen the city and he was leaving in three weeks. It didn't exactly seem fair. Still, did he really want to go out bar hopping with Ivan and the others in addition to some people he didn't even know?

"I think he just doesn't want to be embarrassed by how much of a light weight drinker he is." Francis grinned. Arthur sputtered in outrage.

"It is true. You do not have a high tolerance like myself. Just two shots of Vodka and you were sleeping on the couch."

Arthur abruptly stood up "Sod off! I can drink you both under the table any day!"

Francis pretended to be shocked "Does this mean you are going?"

"I'm going! But only to prove to you two wankers that I can out drink you!" he huffed "Besides, I doubt that American pubs are even remotely as good as British pubs." Arthur turned to his dresser to change into some better clothes. Behind his back Ivan and Francis winked at one another.

Then Francis groaned "I will pick out your clothes. No! A sweater vest is not what you ware when you go out!"


Arthur tried not to show his unease. The outfit he wore was rather tight, especially the jeans. The bar that they had stopped at was a rather lively little Irish pub called Dubliners. To Arthur's surprise they actually served Guinness. He ordered a pint and was a little annoyed at the rather high price, but decided to not make a big deal about it. He leaned against the bar sipping his beer while three men on stage sang popular songs. They were not half bad, but Arthur found his attention focused on the five flags that were draped on the wall behind the stage. There was the American, Canadian, Italian, Ireland, and Mexican flags. Three of those were logical, but the Italian and Mexican flag seemed a little out of place. He looked around the bar. The people seemed to be drinking beer, whiskey, and vodka more than tequila. Oh well, Americans were just weird.

He turned to Matthew and tried to yell over the loud chatter and music. "When are your friends getting here?"

Mathew took out his phone and quickly sent a text. The beep of a reply came not a minute latter. "My brother says he'll be here in just a few minuets. He found a parking space on the other street."

Arthur blinked "Your brother!?"


"He came all the way down here from Canada just to-"

Matthew laughed "He's my half brother; same mom but different dads. I'm from Canada but he was raised here in the US. I hardly got to see him when we were younger because his dad traveled a lot. When they finally settled here I got to see him every summer."

Arthur nodded "How old is he? Younger or older?"

"Older. He's about to be 23 in a few weeks." Matthew looked like he was going to say more but Francis turned his head away and started nibbling his ear. Arthur looked away, preferring not to see the disgusting display of affection. Honestly, people should just get a room.

Arthur looked around the bar again. Most of the people were young, around their early twenties to thirties. No one was dancing. Everyone was just kind of chilling in the darkly lit bar and chatting conversationally. Some people were flirting and some were laughing. The neon signs were really the only source of actual light. Still, the atmosphere was good and fun. Arthur smiled despite himself and went to take another swig of beer when he heard the door open. The sound of the little bell chimed almost unheard in the loud bar.

Arthur casually glanced toward the door... and nearly choked on his beer. A man... no, a god had just strolled into the bar. He walked with such an air of confidence that no one would dare challenge or fuck with him. There was a black cowboy hat on top of his head. In the darkness Arthur could just make out his short hair, but he couldn't see its color. Perched atop the man's nose was a pair of rectangle framed glasses. This feature seemed to kind of contradict his bad ass cowboy appeal, but it added a cute and rather intellectual touch. The long sleeve blouse shirt was dark blue, or at least that was what Arthur guessed. His long toned legs were clad in midnight black jeans with dark brown boots underneath. "Fucking hell." Arthur mentally swore. Sure he had known that as a whole Americans were not a bad looking bunch but jeez! This guy was... was... he was like walking porn.

The moment cowboy entered the room a good handful of people stopped to ogle as he walked on by. The barkeeps cheered and greeted him. Cowboy looked their way, smiled, and gave them a wave. As he passed by a group of obviously giggling girls he tipped his hat slight, sending them into another fit. He kept walking. Everything at that time seemed to be moving in slow motion for Arthur. With ever step cowboy took Arthur felt his heart beat in perfect time. He knew he was staring, shamefully so. He needed to look away before- god damn it!

Cowboy looked and locked gazes with him. His expression looked curious at first but when he saw Arthur visibly fluster and flush he became amused. The knowing smile on his face was both humiliating and sinful. Arthur glanced away but when he looked back he realized with frantic worry that Cowboy was walking straight toward him. Why!? Why was he walking this way? Arthur looked around but saw no one else making eye contact with the man. He looked back and could only watch as cowboy drew closer and closer and closer.

When he was only about two feet away from Arthur he stopped, standing right in front of him. Arthur gaped and tried to think of something to say when Cowboy tipped his hat and spoke in the most charming and yet sultry tone "Howdy." Arthur literally felt his brain explode.

"Alfred!" Matthew greeted and he stepped forward and hugged the cowboy. The Canadian then turned around and smiled to their group "Everyone this is Alfred, my brother." He pointed to each person as he said their name. "Alfred these are my roommates Ivan who is from Russia, Francis who is from France, and Arthur from England."

"England?" The way cowboy said it had Arthur's spine turning to jelly. "I've been to England." Alfred smiled "Beautiful country."

Arthur blushed, though he didn't exactly know why "Thank you."

Alfred then turned his gaze to the entire group "So you all live in that tiny little apartment with my brother. Allow me to apologize for his loud snoring then." He laughed.

Matthew half heartedly shoved him "Alfred! I do not snore!" he took a step away from his brother and toward Francis. "Where is Yao?"

"He said he can't stand this pub so he went down the road to J.D. Tuckers."

"Is that another bar?" Francis asked. Alfred and Matthew nodded. "Then let us be off! This place is a little crowded anyway."

Matthew looked to Ivan, who shrugged. They all made their way through the hallway of crowded people and when they came out on the streets there was nothing but cheering and honking cars. It had to be close to midnight at least and yet, apparently, the party was still hopping. Though, Arthur mused, it was a Saturday night. They walked down the street and Arthur nearly had a heart attack when he saw a man walk past wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer shorts and playing a guitar. He would have assumed that this would cause a bit of a ruckus, but instead all the people did was cheer and call out catcalls. The rest of Arthur's gang walked on by without even a second glance, as if the sheer absurdity of what Arthur just saw was normal.

They walked the two streets it was to J.D. Tuckers and saw the huge long line stretching out from the front gate where a man sat to check ID's. Arthur frowned a little, expecting that they had no chance of getting in before daylight. With a sudden rush of heat Arthur felt the back of a hand skim up his shoulder and then hot fingertips touch his cheek for only a second. He looked to his side at Alfred's smiling face. They were trailing the back end of the group so none of the others saw this brazen move. Alfred leaned down just enough to imply intimacy but not get in Arthur's personal space. He said in his ear "Don't worry beautiful, I'll get us in." Arthur's cheeks flamed and he jerked his arm away.

"Who are you calling beautiful!" he hissed.

Alfred never stopped smiling "You, after all that view from behind was rather nice." Arthur's blush darkened and before he could retort the cowboy had turned on his heels and walked right up to the man checking ID's. They talked for a while and they seemed to be laughing.

To the group's astonishment about fifteen minuets later Alfred motioned them over and they went right in. This bars atmosphere was a great deal more lively. There were people dancing close together as well as people mingling. There was a dart board and two pool tables off to the side. The group made their way through the crowd to the bar, where Alfred clapped a brown haired man on the shoulder and turned him around "Everyone, this is my buddy Yao."

Yao was not as tall as the rest of them, Arthur noted, and he seemed a little uncomfortable. He looked at all of them and then nodded. "I am Yao. It is nice to meet all of you." His accent proved to anyone able to hear it that he was truly Chinese.

"Dude have you had a drink yet?" Alfred asked.

Yao sent him a sideways glare "No I have not. I have no wish to get drunk and repeat the events of last time."

"Oh come on! Everyone loved that martial arts stuff!"

"It was Tai Chi not martial arts!" Yao shot back. He looked as if he were going to yell at Alfred some more when Ivan suddenly moved forward and without warning reached out a hand to cup the small of Yao's back.

"I will buy you a drink, Da?"

Arthur never got to see Yao's face because at that exact moment Alfred leaned in and asked much the same question. "What would you like? I'll buy you anything you want."

Arthur frowned "I am not some slutty college girl. You're attempts to persuade me to give you what you obviously want will gain you nothing."

Alfred pouted slightly "Am I not your type?" The glint in his blue eyes told Arthur that he was all too aware that he was.

"Is your plan to get me drunk and then shag me?"

"Shag." Alfred chuckled "Every word you say with that cute accent makes me like you even more. I do admit that the idea of getting you drunk would make my seduction incredibly easier but," he winked "I don't think I need it."

Arthur frowned "You're overconfidence will be your downfall." He turned and ordered another beer. He leaned against the bar top facing the bartender. Alfred slid along side him but had his back facing the bar. "Would it be so horrible?"

"Would what?"

"Giving in? I know you like me, and I sure as hell like you." Arthur gave him a long look. "How does this sound," Alfred continued "You, me, and a six pack. We can go off into the night and find a little spot where I can show you some stars and we can get to know one another a little better."

Oh god was it tempting! Arthur nibbled on his lower lip and looked away. He turned to say something to Francis but found the Frenchman was checking Matthew's mouth for cavities. With an inward groan he looked around for Ivan and found him leaning against the far wall pouring a shot into Yao's mouth. Well, so much for friendly support.

"Hey." Arthur turned to look at Alfred again. The cowboy seemed a little... defeated. Like a wounded puppy. "Look, just let me show you a good time. If it comes to sex then great, but I'm just as fine with spending some time with you."

Arthur blinked. The words were quite charming and a little disarming. "You're fine if we don't do anything besides talk?" He asked skeptically.

Alfred's smile returned "Oh I'm going to do everything in my power to change your mind." He chuckled "But I wont force ya'."

He seemed sincere and genuine. Arthur looked back to Francis and Matthew before looking down at his drink. He was leaving in a few weeks and he really hadn't seen much of the city or anything outside it. Besides, all his life he had been cautious and careful. Wasn't it time to be just a little reckless? "Alright." He downed the rest of his beer. He moved away from the bar and grabbed Alfred's hand "Come on cowboy."

They left just in time to, because the music started playing the song God Bless the USA and nearly everyone, drunk or sober, started singing.


Arthur had never laughed so much in his life. Not only had Alfred taken him to some awesome bars but he had also introduced him to some of the best pizza parlors and comedy clubs. It had been a blast from start to end. As Arthur laid back on the blanket that Alfred had spread out in the bed of his truck he looked up at the limitless sea of stars. The crickets chirped all around them and there were fireflies swimming through the darkness. The simplicity of nature alone was just magical. In just one night Arthur felt as if he had lived an entire lifetime.

He turned his head to look to his side. Alfred lay next to him with his hands behind his head looking up at the stars with a mile wide smile. The moonlight shinned off his glasses. When the American noticed Arthur was looking at him he turned to meet his gaze. He raised a brow "Now you're looking like someone that's just beggin' to be kissed." Arthur didn't answer. His eyes just kept looking back and forth between Alfred lips and gaze. Alfred waited two seconds longer before he smiled and then leaned on his side. One hand stretched out to cup Arthur's left cheek as he pulled the other man closer and then pressed their mouths together.

With the cool night air all around them Alfred's warmth was both comforting and exhilarating. Arthur could feel the soft fabric of his shirt under his hands as he kissed back. When they parted Alfred smiled again "Do you want more?"

Arthur smirked. He had already decided several hours ago that he wanted this "I want it all, cowboy." Arthur reached up and pulled Alfred's hat off his head. Alfred raised a brow as he took off his glasses.

"Cowboy huh?" he chuckled "Well lil' darling what kind of ride would you like?"

Arthur trembled at the southern nick name "The best ride you can give." He silenced all further talk as he crushed their lips together once more. The man kissed like a pro. Arthur felt Alfred's hands sliding down his back and then grabbing his ass. Arthur moaned and opened his mouth. Alfred understood what he wanted and kissed him again, sliding his tongue against Arthur's.

He did not know how long they kissed but when they parted there was a string of saliva connecting their bottom lips. Arthur blushed but Alfred just chuckled as he used the back of his hand to rid them of the strand. Alfred moved until he was kneeling down in front of Arthur. His warm hands pushed Arthur's jean clad legs apart and then smoothed his palms up his thighs. Arthur's crotch responded with great eagerness. Was he... oh god Arthur hoped so!

"Pull up your shirt." Arthur grasped the hem of his shirt and brought it up to his chest. Alfred trailed a finger down his flat stomach and then dipped it momentarily inside Arthur's belly button, causing him go laugh. Alfred smirked before he continued with his finger until he reached the button of the jeans. With little difficulty he undid the button and zipper. He stopped when he noticed the words that were stitched to the inside of the fly, lucky you. He smirked and raised a brow at Arthur.

The Brit pursed his lips "These aren't mine. They are my roommates."

"I see." Alfred chuckled just before reaching his hand into Arthur's underwear and pulling out his incredibly ridged cock. "Nice." His hand gave a slow upward stroke and then a slight twist to the head before going back down. Arthur moaned again and spread his legs a little wider, getting comfortable for the pleasure he was about to receive. Alfred leaned down and over him, his hot breath ghosting over the sensitive skin in the cool night air. He kissed the head and while his hand still stroked he licked the slit.

Arthur stared down with something like rapture, eyes glassy and wide. His right hand reached out and his fingers dumbly intertwined in Alfred's hair to urge him down. He leaned up with left elbow so he could see. Alfred didn't need much motivation as he opened his mouth and enveloped the head. Arthur gritted his teeth at the sensation.

Alfred's mouth licked and sucked at the head before he opened his jaw wider. He started to go down further. Slowly inch by inch Arthur was taken to the back of his throat. Arthur's eyes widened and his hand in Alfred's hair left to cover his mouth. When Alfred came back up Arthur put a hand on his shoulder "Don't do that again, I nearly came."

Alfred grinned smugly "I'd imagine you want more then a :08 ride?" Arthur had no clue what he meant. "Would you mind returning the favor?" Arthur shook his head, no. Alfred leaned back up, took off his belt, and shoved his jeans down to his knees. Then he rocked back to sit down so that he could take off his jeans and underwear the rest of the way. Arthur's eyes effectively went as wide as they could when he saw the size of him. His cheeks blushed a dark crimson.

He gulped "I-I hope you brought some lubrication."

Alfred paused and then seemed to think a moment. "I have some aloe lotion and condoms in my glove compartment."

"Aloe lotion?"

"It helps when you get poison ivy and the condoms... do I really need to explain those?"

Arthur waved a hand. "Get them both." Alfred kicked his jeans to one side of the truck bed before jumping over the side. He opened the passenger door, closed it, and returned with both items clutched in one hand.

"Now," Alfred smiled as he moved to straddle Arthur's chest, holding his cock mere inches from the Brit's face. "I believe you wanted to suck me?" Arthur licked his lips and then took Alfred into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the head. Alfred's hands were immediately in his hair and guiding his head. "Fuck yeah." the cowboy growled low in his chest. He tasted musky and clean, Arthur thought.

He closed his eyes as he concentrated of sucking and relaxing his throat. He went down on Alfred as much as he could before coming back up to give a teasing gentile nip just under the ridge of the head. Alfred moaned again and thrust slightly. His finger tightened in Arthur's hair. The slight pain was strangely erotic and dominating.

"That's it darlin' suck me with that hot mouth."

Alfred watched, fascinated. Arthur had his free hand on Alfred's hip. He was sucking with gentle longing attention. It was as if he couldn't let go;like it was too good to stop. The fluid glittered wet on his lips, streaming out the corner of his mouth. Alfred's hand combed through his hair, softly encouraging.

When he put his hands to Arthur's shoulder and pulled away he also snapped open the cap of aloe lotion. He started poring it onto is fingers when Arthur leaned up "Don't use your fingers." He averted his gaze "I...I like the burn that comes with stretching."

Alfred blinked "You sure bout' that?" Arthur nodded. "Well alright, but you're going to be on top."


Alfred winked "You said you wanted a ride." As Arthur moved Alfred flopped down on his back and stroked himself. "You want me to put on the condom?"

Arthur shook his head "I'll put it on." He took the square package that the American offered and ripped it open, extracting the small rubbery circle. He pulled on the center but when nothing happened he turned it over and did the same thing. The tip emerged. As if putting on a hat he placed it over the head and then used his fingers to unroll the condom down the rest of the shaft. Arthur then stood up and took his jeans off the rest of the way. When he kneeled back down he swung his leg over Alfred hip. Locking gazes with the other man he positioned himself right over the blond's erect sex.

A part of him could not believe he was doing this and yet another part of him was screaming that this was the sexiest thing he had ever done. The cowboy beneath him looked downright sinful in the moonlight as he stared up at him with such a charming and falsely innocent smile.

Alfred's hands went to his hips as Arthur took a hesitant breath and then moved to press downward. He could feel the slickness of the head as it pressed and then penetrated past the first ring of muscle. Arthur gasped and bit his lower lips as he continued. His body stretched and strained to accommodate the American inside him.

"Fuck you're tight." Alfred groaned loudly.

"No, you're just big." Arthur breathed out but his words became a cry of pleasure as Alfred took a hold of his hips and then thrust upward, sheathing himself completely within. Arthur tried to say something but Alfred thrust again and again. The angle of his thrust had Arthur's body rocking and almost bouncing on top of him. "Alfred!"

His testicles draw up tight against his body as his orgasm rose with frantic speed. Every thrust felt so wonderful. Alfred was holding him so possessively as he fucked him within an inch of his life. The man's mouth found and sucked on his nipples. Arthur screamed as he tried to slam his body down to meet every one of Alfred's thrust. Arthur's fists balled into Alfred's shirt. His mind swam and he could not remember what he said or how many times he screamed out Alfred's name.

With one final guttural cry he arched his back and came. His sperm shot all over Alfred's chest. His body trembled and weakened in Alfred's hands but the American still kept thrusting. His hand went to the back of Arthur's neck and brought him back down for another kiss. He moaned into the kiss and he thrust up one last time and pulled Arthur down so that he was deep inside him.

They kissed and necked for several after glow moments before Alfred switched their position. He moved to the side and brought Arthur with him. He laid the Brit down before sliding out of his body. Both of them were panting and out of breath as they lay next to one another. Alfred sighed and rolled onto his back so he could look up at the stars. His left arm wrapped around Arthur's waist and pulled him close so that his head could lay on his chest.

Such a romantic and overly intimate position was not something Arthur would normally let happen without a struggle, but he was too tired to argue. "Just for a little bit." He said as he closed his eyes. Alfred's body heat was more then enough to keep him warm.

They hadn't meant to fall asleep, but they did. The next thing Arthur knew was he was awoken by the sound of birds and the buzz of cicadas. He blinked open his eyes and immediately saw Alfred's peaceful sleeping face. He sat up and looked around. Dawn was just breaking over the horizon and they were... they were parked on top of a hill overlooking a vast valley of corn fields and other crops. Arthur stood up and put back on his jeans. His rustling around disturbed and awoke Alfred. The cowboy yawned and stretched but Arthur didn't take much notice.

He hoped out of the truck bed and just stared out at the land before him. The sheer vastness of it all was what made it so breathtaking. The air was cool but held hints of the warmth and humidity that was to come. He heard Alfred jump out of the truck behind him. He turned. The man was fully dressed again, including the cowboy hat. He leaned casually against the truck and smiled at Arthur. "If you keep looking at me like that I'm going to have to give you another ride."

Arthur blushed but chuckled in spite of himself. A rather unusual sense of affection came over him as he walked back and leaned into Alfred's embrace. They hugged, kissed, and then Arthur buried his head in Alfred's neck. He stayed like that for a moment or two and Alfred let him. When he pulled away they still held the other in their arms. Alfred's hands were on Arthur's hips and Arthur's hands were pressed against his chest. Behind them was the orange and yellow sun kissed sky and endless fields of green.

"Thank you," Arthur spoke "for a wonderful evening."

Alfred smiled "My pleasure." He then grew more serious "Can I see you again?"

Arthur shook his head "I'm leaving in a few weeks to go back to England. If I saw you again... it's crazy."

"I know it is." Alfred agreed with a frown, but then he smiled "But I want crazy." He pressed their foreheads together "Besides, I don't think love knows what distance is." Arthur stared at him and then smiled before kissing him again.


A/N: This fic is loosely based off of my adventures during my internship here in Omaha. The drinking and fun stuff not the sex stuff. LOL, my husband would kill me. This fic was mostly, however, inspired by the songs "I want crazy" by Hunter Hayes, "Round here" by Florida Georgia Line, and just the all around wholesomeness that is the American heartland.