Disclaimer: First Chapter
Sorry about the mix up, I was getting breakfast and my laptop was still open. My sister tried to be nice and update my story for me, but she got the wrong document. I already fixed it! If you are reading this then you have the right chapter now.
"Holy shit!" Kushina shouted when the first thing she noticed about Naruto returning home being the fact he had a giant bear holding a chainsaw behind him, and him apparently not worried about getting hurt. Without his armor to protect him, he was now able to get hit with magic and jutsu. It was Nene's ability infused with the at truly gave it total immunity to magic and other types of energy.
Watch her - her name is Haruna
Kushina read Naruto's note, before she found herself holding an unconscious girl in her arms. With the bear in sight she must have completely missed the naked girl her son had been holding. The sudden tempation to throw the girl that showed her naked body to her son off a roof suddenly slammed into her like a tidal wave. She new that nothing happened, it was her son after all, but for somebody to disgrace Naruto's eyes with their unworthy bodies was the epitome of dishonor.
Don't throw her from the roof
"Please?" Kushina asked nicely despite reading his note, only to be promptly ignored by Naruto in favor of him going to the table and sitting down. Kummachi literally had to stay crouched down before entering the house. Then she promptly laid down in the middle of the room and decided that she would take a nap. Kushina felt like face palming at the strangness of the entire situation, before she saw Yuu enter the room and sit next to Naruto. The two then just began to stare at each other, and she sighed once more. When they got like this, nothing would make them look away from each other.
"I am Kummachi, you are a zombie." Kummachi introduced as she looked at the zombie in the room with a rough look that would be expected of a bear. Kushina blinked a few times, before she felt like face palming at the fact that a bear was going to try and have a conversation with her. She couldn't believe it honestly, but if she wasn't a zombie that was the servant of her son she would say that she had long since gone insane. Sometimes she expected to wake up from this like it was a dream, only to find out that she was pregnant with Naruto again.
Suffice to say, this wasn't a dream with how much that damn Kyuubi stabbing her hurt.
"My name is Kushina Kummachi-kun." Kushina said with a strained smile, before she knew it she had a giant claw going through her heart and going out of the other side of her chest. Blood escaped from her mouth, before the claw was pulled out of her chest and she saw the annoywed glare Kummachi was sending her.
"I am a girl." Kummachi said with a glare in her glowing eyes, the large bear looked at Kushina before she noticed that giant hole right in the middle of her chest. She also noticed the very slight automatic drain from Naruto's power going into Kushina as the wound started to patch itself up. That was part of the true secret to a zombie's immortality. They could speed up their regeneration by stealing power from their master, otherwise a woung that she had just inflicted would take days to fully mend. The draining of power to heal also caused their master's pain equal to that they were healing.
"How as I suppose to know your gender!?" Kushina shouted in irritation, because Kummachi was plainly wearing boys clothes. It wasn't like she was able to see the gender while the bear was wearing clothes.
"Most Megalo are female zombie!" Kummachi shouted at Kushina as she began to shrink down into a minature version of herself only 7 feet tall instead so that she could stand and stare down at Kushina with a glare.
"Stop calling me zombie! My name is Kushina datebane!" Kushina shouted right back at the megalo, and the two started to growl at each other. Kushina was about to start a fight, before she remembered she had Haruna on her shoulder. Then she once more noticed that she was holding a girl, a naked girl in fact. Her eye twitched once more, before she considered throwing her off the roof anyway. The temptation was there, but she wasn't a person that wanted to cross Naruto unless it was for his own good.
"Kushina... that is a stupid name." Kummachi said before she plopped down on the ground and started to watch Naruto again, feeding off his energy to strengthen her connection to the world of humans. Megalos needed to eat spiritual energy or mana in order to remain in the human world for extended periods of time.
"Fucking megalo." Kushina muttered as she tossed Haruna onto the couch, before she walked over to Naruto when she heard tapping on the table. She looked and sweat dropped when she saw two notepads being held up at the same time.
'Yeah, they are a match.' Kushina thought with a small smile, but she was also laughing nervously as she walked back to the kitchen and begun to make a special pudding Naruto liked to eat. She would make another serving for Yuu, but her main concern was Naruto. He still didn't have armor, and she didn't want to do anything that might mess with his emotions... which seemed to have mostly returned to compeltely neutral since coming back home. She guessed part of the reason he was so emotional in wave was the fact that he was homesick.
"What would you two like to eat?" Kushina asked with a smile on her face, before she sweat dropped when she saw that they weren't listening to her. She sighed awkwardly, before her smile returned and she opened the fridge to get all the left overs. Naruto and Yuu could each eat as much, or more, than her if thye wanted to. There stomachs automatically converted food into instant energy so as to avoid making waste. They were like disposals for leftover food, which woud explain why they almost never had leftovers.
"I want some toast." Kummachi commented, before the pedo-bear looking megalo was smacked in the back of the head by the blunt end of a pink chainsaw Kushina had thrown at her. The bear megalo jerked around and stared at Kushina while growling.
"You want food, then go find it in the woods like a bear." Kushina growled out herself as she glared at the bear, and the megalo stood up before she left the house to go to the woods in search for some food. Screams of people could already be heard in the distance, which was both funny and sad at the same time. Once you get passed the giant menacing stature of the bear megalo she was kind of cute... in a fluffy tedy bear sort of way.
*Knock knock knock*
"Somebody is at the door." Kushina called out, only to sweat drop when enither Necromancer even looked lie they noticed the door. She sighed, knowing they were back in their own little world. It would be so romantic, if it wasn't also so annoying. She wanted Naruto to pay attention to her too. When she did finally get to the door she opened it quickly, just in time as a fist slammed into her face and her head pretty much exploded while Tsunade looked at what she caused with her jaw dropped.
"Kushina!" Tsunade and Shizune yelled as they dropped down to the headless body, only to see her head across the room on the floor.
"Nobody move! I dropped my head!" Kushina shouted so that nobody would step onto her face as she rolled over to her body, before she lined her head up with her body and reconnected it. Placing her hands on the ground, she stood back up before she saw Shizune's eyes roll to the back of her head as she fainted. Tsunade looked rather ill as well, so looking down Kushina noticed with a blush that her head was on backwards.
"Are you okay Kushina?" Tsunade asked with a stunned disbelief, not knowing what to think of this situation. As a medic, she was AMAZED at what was happening in front of her. Kushina grabbed each side of her head, before she snapped her own neck and pulled her head off her shoulders. Placing it back on the right way this time, the neck sections reconnected and her head was once again on straight.
"I swear, that phrase about losing my head if it wasn't attached really does apply to me. I hate it even more when people hide my head from my body." Kushina said with a very small look in Naruto's direction. When he was a kid he had cut her head off in her sleep a few times, only to hide it before she would wake up. Yes, Naruto is perhaps the only person alive that can cut his mother's head off and not get in trouble for it. She had actually laughed at him cutting her head and hiding it, knowing that it was just a strange phase he had gone through.
Like certain boys went through the awkward doll phase where they looked at naked dolls... thank the Higher Beings that Naruto never went through that phase. He was more than happy with playing with her head, and his ducks. The fact he now had seven hunded ducks was a bit worrying, even more so when he could turn them into an army of giant rubber duck monsters.
"Rise my ducky army, together we will take over the Land of Bath tubs!" A Naruto with a higher pitched voice said while wearing just a towel around his waist. Behind him was an army of tiny little rubber ducks, and next to him was Yuu holding a flag with a rubber duck on it.
Kushina's Imagination End
"Oh Naruto, you don't have to take over the bath if you want to enjoy it! Mamma will warm up the bath just for you!" Kushina shouted as she ignored the shocked Tsunade and jumped through the air and picked up Naruto while swinging him around in her arms. She was rubbing her cold cheek against his warm one, before she blinked when she realized that her arms weren't broken.
"There it is!" Kushina sais as she fell onto her back with her arms facing the wrong directions, a happy smile on her face while Tsunade looks on in horror. She had just come here to say she was sorry to Naruto, and to beg him to restore her little brother.
"Why am I naked, and where am I!" A naked girl shouted as she jumped off the couch, while holding onto her pink chainsaw and glaring around at everything that breathed. Tsunade pinched herself once, before she picked up Shizune and left the house and closed the door behind her. She would come back another time, or maybe reviving her brother wasn't worth it.
"Put some damn clothes on you nudist flat chest!" Kushina shouted at Haruna, and the girl jumped into the air and landed onto Kushina with both her feet.
"Screw you, you mustard covered sheep herder!" Haruna shouted out, while Kushina's arms snapped back into place and she threw Haruna off of her. The girl bounced off the table, before she landed on Naruto and knocked him over with her on all fours on top of him. "Hey, you're that Shady guy from the graveyard!" Haruna shouted down to him, before a vase collided with the side of her head.
"Off my adowable wittle baby you nude she-devil! I am not afraid cut your nipples off!" Kushina threatened towards the still naked girl, and she looked down at herself before realizing that she was naked.
"What did you do to my magi-cool outfit you steamy radish sausage!?" Haruna shout/asked towards Kushina, while the red haired woman's deathly pale face turned bright right in anger.
"Flatty, I didn't do crap to your outfit! You came here naked!" Kushina shouted before the next thing she knew she was laying on the ground in pain as steam came from her head. Behind her were both Naruto and Yuu with their hands extended in the chopping motion.
"You! What did you do with my clothes?!" Haruna asked loudly, and Naruto looked away slightly before he started to write something down.
Your clothes were part of your powers, which now reside inside my body. I do not plan on giving them back to you right now... because I don't want to.
Naruto wrote down while Yuu looked at the paper as well, before she started to write something on her paper as well while Kushina started to stand back up.
That is the longest note I have seen you write.
Yuu wrote down on her paper as her side comment, and Kushina nodded slightly. Naruto was normally so quiet that you had to look at him carefully just to make sure he was breathing. SHe couldn't remember how many almost heart attacks she had while he was a baby.
"What? Give me back my powers!" Haruna said in a panic, before she was kicked across the room by an angry Kushina.
"Flatty! You have until the count of five to put some damn cloths on, before I bend your tiny ass over my knee and tan your hide so red that lobsters will try to butt rape you!" Kushina threatened, before she saw Naruto walked up to Haruna and take his own shirt off and hand it to the purple eyes girl. The girl took it from him, before she put it on without a second thought.
"Stop calling me flatty tomato fa-" Haruna started, before the next thing she knew she was sent flying with a blood nose. Kushina would take a lot of insults, but tomato was something only naruto could call her.
He made it cute.
"Call me tomato again, and your hair will be tomato red when I dye it in your blood." Kushina promised, while Naruto wisely decided that he was going to go take another bath. Naruto because he needed one, but because things were getting to strange for him. Okay, strang was the wrong word. More like he needed to get out of here before his body started to react to anything. Even though Naruto planned on allowing Kushina to gain Magical Girl powers they would still be in his body. It was a new energy for him to get used to. Even if Kushina was using the powers they would still be a part of his body.
Zombies were perhaps one of the weakest and strongest monsters out there if given the rights power ups.
Just wasn't feeling it for this chapter, but I have to get it done to get to next chapter. Here is a hint to somebody that appeared in the next chapter.
Love only myself - Yep, if that isn't obvious then I don't know what is besides saying the name.
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