Disclaimer: Do not own
Warning: Diabetic cuteness and a lot of silliness ahead. Crackfic, if you will.
The Hokage's wife didn't look up from her vegetable chopping. "Kakashi-kun, how many times do I have to tell you not to add the '–san'? Just call me 'Kushina', or better yet, 'Oba-chan'*!" Kushina grinned as she swept the diced zucchini from the cutting board into the pot with a skilled flick of the knife.
The young ANBU didn't even bother to remind her that she was supposed to call him by his code name now. "Kushina-san, Naruto is missing!"
"Oh?" The red head tossed the chicken on the frying pan as she let the vegetable mix brown a little.
"What do you mean, 'oh'?! Your son is gone!" The normally laid-back, poised teenager was frantic at the thought of the baby who had managed to worm his way into his heart with his first gurgle being in danger.
"That's funny. I just checked on him ten minutes ago." Kushina added some salt and pepper to the chicken before turning her attention back to the veggies.
"He must have been kidnapped! We have to send a search and rescue party immediately!"
"But I didn't feel a breach in the protective seals, Kakashi-kun."
"Obviously someone highly skilled and powerful and dangerous must have taken him!" Kakashi was absolutely aghast as Kushina, instead of responding like a normal mother would with panic and distressed tears, merely chuckled.
"Well, I guess you could say that, sure."
Kakashi's jaw dropped low enough to be noticeable even with the mask. "You mean you know who abducted Naruto?!"
"Then you need to hurry and come with me to rescue him! Who knows what kind of cruel torture his captor is inflicting on him as we speak!"
"Well, I'm sure you're right – if you consider being used as a paperwork deterrent cruel."
"Naru-chaaaan," the Yondaime Hokage of Konohagakure no Sato cooed, holding the six month old high in his arms. "Naru-chan can you say 'Dada'?"
"Guuuuuu." A spit bubble popped in his face.
"Close enough." Minato blew a raspberry against his son's adorable whiskered cheek, making the baby squeal with delight.
"Hokage-sama," his secretary called, stepping through the door to his office, "here are some documents the council – "
"Oh no no, Akane-san," the father hurriedly interrupted her, "You can't bring more paperwork in here! I have Naruto with me! And he's allergic to paperwork."
The middle-aged woman gave him a deadpan stare. "Your son is allergic to paperwork."
"Well, I don't know if you can call it allergies, per se, but look!" The Hokage held up his child so that Naruto could get a full view of the stack of papers in the secretary's arms, and immediately tears began to well up in his large, cerulean eyes.
The normally strict secretary faltered. "Why isn't he with Kushina-sama, then?"
Minato gave a dramatic, pitiful sigh. "My wife demanded I take him for the evening," he lied, "She says she needs a break."
"…You, the Hokage of Konohagakure, were ordered by your wife to babysit?"
"Have you met Kushina?" Minato shook his head. "No, Akane-san. I am sorry to say that I can't possibly go through more documents while I have Naruto with me. You wouldn't cause an infant such distress, would you?" He raised his son again, and the waterworks began to start once more. Akane stared, unsure what to do to, but when the tiny lower lip started to tremble, she caved.
"Fine. We'll go through these first thing in the morning, Hokage-sama." With that, she ripped her gaze from the heartbreakingly adorable baby and stalked out.
A face eating grin appeared on Minato's face, and he flipped Naruto around and tossed him high in the air, eliciting a shriek of laughter from the infant, tears long forgotten. "You're such a wonderful baby, Naru-chan! The best in the world! Already saving your Papa from evil paperwork monsters." Bringing him close to his chest, the Hokage nuzzled the downy blond hair. "And you're just going to keep getting amazing, aren't you? You're Papa will make sure of it. You'll surpass me, because that's what younger generations are supposed to do, and then you can become a Hokage even younger than I was!"
"Yes, Naru-chan that's a wonderful dream."
"No, Naru-chan I'm not just saying that so I can retire early."
"Honestly, Kakashi-kun, how many times has Minato stolen Naruto to his office?"
"Kakashi-kun. I order you to answer my question."
"One hundred and six times, Kushina-san."
"And how many times have you panicked over it?"
"…One hundred and six times, Kushina-san."
*Oba-chan = aunt in Japanese. Not to be confused with obaa-chan/san which means grandma.
A/N: …Yeah. Don't know where that spawned from. I was just trying to avoid MCAT studying…No. No I'm not a sucker for adorable Papa!Minato and Baby!Naruto…Okay, maybe I am, but just a little…OKAY a lot. Happy?
I might add some more drabbles when the inspiration hits me.