Gift To:

Denofthesharks; 'for always being an open ear; for my not so sane thoughts and moments, as well as for understanding without judgment; even when I judge myself and being an amazing friend to me and others.

Dedicated To:

EVERYBODY; because everybody loves and everybody hurts at some point in time.

Special thanks to:

Peachy; for being my Ginny pig reader.

Main Characters: Kevin Barr, Eddward DD Rockwell

Side Characters: Nathan Kedd Goldberg, Marie Kanker

Character Mentions: Nazz, Eddy, Ed, Rolf, Jimmy, Sarah, Johnny

Past Mentions, for Plot: Eddward & Marie's child.

Main Pairings: Alpha Kevedd - Eddward x&x Kevin

Side Pairing Hints/Mentions: Nathan x Eddward, Nathan x Kevin

Rating: R - Major Triggering adult theme; BEWARE!

To Be Expected: Suicide, Self-Harm, Giving up on life, mention of a cruel beating.

Genre: Non-Teen Fiction, Non-fiction, Angst, Tragedy, Heart Wrenching Tear Jerker, Supernatural, Shounen-ai

Count Classification: Short Story

Updated: 7:23 pm at 9/19/2013

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; -I make no money from this story; I created this story for the message…

Things To Know: I was inspired to write this after seeing this beautiful and emotional drawing of Dirk Strider and Jack English. [NOTE: Please go here; my-friend-the-frog.t-u-m-b-l-r (. c o m) / post / 51871976529 and look over the drawing and listen to the song before reading. I promise you 100% more tears.] Please also go here; (you-tube) onrepeat (. c o m) / watch / ?v=M-6S1mGAS3Y Listen to that song why reading.

[Note: Take out -from Tumb and Youtub as well as spaces and () -Those. Links are on page if your confused.]


"Love of mine, some day you will die, but I'll be close behind."

Kevin Barr ran and he ran, and he ran, he didn't care how far he had to run, or how fast he'd have to go to reach his end mark. He just knew that had to tell him. What a complete fucking idiot had he been to deny feelings of another's and one's own heart over popularity? Popularity, now what exactly is popularity in the first place? Was it humans way of socially perversion your mind into one way of thinking or is it just a ruse to allow humans to be nasty to one another?

"I'll follow you into the dark; No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white"

In truth what happens after you're out of the social setting of high school; nothing, nobody cares if you were the all-star sports jock, or the school's reason the swim team has ever won anything. They don't care if you came out or you didn't and most of the people who you thought you be friends with forever never even think twice about calling you up to hang after graduation. In reality, all you got is yourself and the person who loves you.

Nazz had screamed at him that he would be alone and none of the shit would matter in the end and she had been right. He'd be completely alone, left to live life with only the sound of his own breath and the feel of his own heart beating in its cage.

"Just our hands clasped so tight; waiting for the hint of a spark."

He knew he was crying, he could feel the droplets of years of held in pain freeze and act as razor-sharp knifes with the violent wind to cut his raw swollen cheeks. The sides of his eyes were blurry, but he didn't stop to dry them, he didn't care if they fell and he wasn't sure if he could stop them if he tried. Fuck he had left his phone at Nazz's and he was reduced to running because he'd crashed his bike only days before, when he got the text message he never wanted to ever see.

"When your soul embarks, if Heaven and Hell decide;"

Fuck, why hadn't he stopped him, why hadn't he used that brainy mind of his to keep saying no, why hadn't he said something to them? He knew Eddy, they all did and they knew his swindles would one day go too far. How the fuck had this happened and why had he been so fucking hard headed on not going to see him after it all. Fuck, Ed had come begging on his knees, face swollen and raw from crying and from what little he'd gotten in the fight. Yet, all he could think of was I can't go see him, because that would mean I cared and somebody like him couldn't care for a dork.

"illuminate the "No's on their vacancy signs, I'll follow you into the dark."

'Please, dweeb please, don't you fuckin' dare … don't you fuckin' dare-' Was the only thought running through his head as he saw the hospital come into view and all he wanted to do was collapse in pain. He hurt so fuckin' bad from his accident already on top of this run from the cul-da-sac to Blue Creek Medical Center. No, he had to keep going. The call … oh god the call from Eddy … It wasn't true. He suddenly felt very sick and he paused a moment to empty his stomach before he continued.

"In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule. I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black."

Nat was so furious at him; he deserved ever harsh, and nasty thing his best friend had called him at the start of this. Fuck the dude had even turned his phone off most likely at the hospital now too. Nazz would have been there, but she was babysitting for Marie. Nazz understood how much the dweeb meant to her as a friend and as the father of the kid. So, she had taken up her part by offering her girlfriend a trusting babysitting after the accident so she could be there at his side. Everybody had his or her part even him and he couldn't even do that right.

"And I held my tongue as she told me,
"Son, fear is the heart of love."

Marie, Nat, Rolf, Jimmy, Sarah, Johnny, Ed, Eddy, Nazz … god everybody had said all he asked for was him and he told them he didn't wanna see him. He told them he had better things to do, that the dweeb would be fine. He kept telling himself everything would be all right, that the dweeb would wake up and they be able to pick back up where they left off, picking on each other. That Eddward could torment him and Kevin could get even and humiliate the other.

"When your soul embarks, if Heaven and Hell decide;"

He finally reached the hospital, slipping through the sliding doors, only to run right smack into Nat. God his best friend looked like fucking hell, tears streaming down his face. He'd never seen his best friend look as bad as he did right now and all he wanted to do was hold him and see that goofy grin on his face again. But he had to see him, he had to see him, oh god he had to see him now.

"illuminate the "No's on their vacancy signs, I'll follow you into the dark."

"E-ed-d" Kevin breathed out through a painful breath as he looked at Nat who went wide-eyed and just froze. Kevin shook his head as his face scrunched up, tears streamed down making everything blurry and he grabbed Nat by the front of the shirt.

"W-WHERE, TE-LL ME WHERE!" He screamed not caring if he looked ridiculous.

"K-kevin, it-ICU …."

"You and I could have seen everything
from Bangkok to Calgary."

Nathan wasn't going to tell him, he wanted so bad, but he couldn't cause for once his best friend wasn't thinking of himself. You didn't see pride or arrogance in those beautiful oceans of tree green. All you saw was utter fear and pain. He was so terrified of losing something he had never even gotten to have.

He watched Kevin disappear before falling to the floor and covered his face as he cried. He would lose them both over this, they would both slip through the cracks of his fingers and not once would he have the courage to tell them, "I love you."

"That both of us could have been satisfied and the soles of your shoes all worn down."

Kevin pounded on the ICU room door, which would normally have gotten you kicked out. However instead, the door unlocked and he opened it to step inside the hall that smelled sickly like death. It was not the clean and freshness he got from the dweebs room even if it been hours after he'd scrubbed it clean. This place smelled like death, like a place you came to die, no, don't think that way. Don't let the little shits words get to you.

"The time for sleep is come to soon …"

He spotted Marie huddled against the others and when they spotted him, everybody got quiet and Kevin tried so hard to keep his cool. He walked right passed them and stopped short. It was worst then he thought. Hell, it was worse than he'd been told. You couldn't even recognize the dweeb, he'd been beaten down to nothing and then he spotted the person reaching for the plug. 'No, No, No, NO!'

"But it's nothing to cry about,"

"HE'S STILL HERE, DON'T FUCKIN' TOUCH HIM!" Kevin screamed, about to run and attack the person, but suddenly arms were all over him. He struggled against them all.-

"WHAT ARE YOU DOIN', HE'S GOIN' TO KILL HIM. WHY ARE YOU FUCKIN' ASSES DOING THIS? LET ME THE FUCK GO!"

"'Cause we'll hold each other soon"

Suddenly, Marie was right in front of him, she looked like hell too, and then his face was staring at the wall. His cheek burned, stung, tingled, and felt prickly before her voice spoke up. "Kevin, there is nothing any of us can do now. He's brain-dead … do you fucking understand, he's gone Kevin and he's never coming back."

His breath hitched in his throat and all the fight in him was lost as hands slowly let go and he dropped to his knees. He suddenly felt so numb, Eddy had told the truth, and it was his entire fault the dweeb was never coming back. He'd been getting better, they said he'd even called out to him and when he didn't come Eddward had started getting worse. They said he'd given up the will to live, because he thought he had meant nothing to the jock.

"In the blackest of rooms."

They all know the dweeb had problems with depression because of his parents, mostly his mother. However, to be so bad he'd give up life with a child … because him? Why was he so fuckin' important? What good was he? He was nothing … nothing but a cold hearted bastard … Who could love him? He'd let the dweeb die alone, all alone without tellin' him.

He heard the machine unplugged and the heart monitor slowly go down before it flat lined and Kevin yelled with all his anger and his sadness, tears poured down like a broken facet as warm arms wrapped around him and pulled him close. He didn't know how long he stay on the floor crying on his knees, begging for him to come back. He just knew he was alone again. Alone to wallow in his pain and in his guilty grief, alone to see what a horribly selfish person he was. Alone to realize the only person he ever really loved was now gone and it was his entire fault.

"When your soul embarks, if Heaven and Hell decide;"

He got up passing the bed and walked over to the window. He looked out over the view, his hand sliding up and around the glass as he closed his eyes, so cold the glass felt against his hot skin. It be nice to rid himself of the suffocating hotness. Eddward had always been smart, even after everything. He knew the dweeb never thought he was paying attention when he spotted off, but he was. 'Pumpkin, did you know that all glass has a point of weakness and when pushed a certain way you can shatter the whole thing, no matter the thickness of it? Quite fascinating don't you agree … are you not listening, Hmpff, you're such a fucking prick.'

"I was listenin', t-thanks dweeb," He said softly before turning away from the glass to face the door, there stood his best friend watching him. Watching closely and Kevin know that Nat knew too, that there was nothing that could be done. It was over and there was only one thing left to do.

"I'm so sorry, I love you both …" Kevin whispered and Nathan broke down as he watched Kevin grab the chair and slam it into the glass, shattering it into pieces, the wind whipped into the room "but I can't live without him." He said as he opened his arms with a smile, leaned back, and disappeared below the frame of sight.

"illuminate the "No's on their vacancy signs, I'll follow you into the dark."

Nathan watched as people ran in and screamed as they got to the window. If only they could of seen this, if only they could of knew before it was too late. Nat buried his face in his hands. Again, he'd been left alone to pick up their pieces. Except this time, it be very last time he'd get to do it.

Kevin felt light as he fell. He felt nothing for the first time, but happiness. The wind whipped around him and it was loud he was logically sure according to the dweeb. But to him it sounded like somebody was singing to him and the wind whipping around him felt like smaller arms, grabbed him, and pulling him close. Maybe he was crazy … haha yeah, you have to be to do what he'd just done.

Opening his eyes, he had to blink because he thought he was seeing things. There so close was in fact the dork he'd fallen in love with and tried so hard to get away from. He looked amazing, so it was true white wings only marked the pure an innocent. That was fine 'cause sharkies black puffs looks amazing, and there were so big and beautiful as they glistened raven blue against the sun. He reached out to touch them as he gazed back into eyes that looked so sad. Kevin knew he knew what he'd done and what would happen and Kevin began to cry again.

"Then I'll follow you into the dark."

"I'm so sorry Double D, please forgive me. I couldn't live without you."

Was all he got out before there were a couple moments of hot burning pain, the breath knock out completely and his world become black before red and for a slight moment, before everything become still and numb except for a voice he never realized he missed so much!

"You're an insensitive jerk Kevin Barr; however, I forgave you long ago pumpkin." There is a chuckle in his ear and he wanted so bad to feel it, but he felt nothing anymore. "I suppose neither could I."

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark"