"Taz for being amazing a wonderful human being."
Everyone who has every felt or feels like they can't be them, because of social or personal pressure to be something more.
Special thanks to:
Taz Master for inspiring me.
Shaky Dweeb & Peachy for encouraging me to finish.
Main Characters: Kevin Barr
Side Characters: None
Character Mentions: Barr Parents, Double D, Eddy, Nathan, Nazz
Past Mentions, for Plot: None
Main Pairings: Kevedd
Side Pairing Hints/Mentions: Kevin x Nazz
To Be Expected: Family and social pressure, hints of bullying
Genre: Non-Teen Fiction, Shounen-ai, Drama, Romance, Family
Count Classification: Story- Short Story
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters; I make no money from this story; I'm just creating these stories to entertain myself and (hopefully) y'all.
Things To Know: I was inspired to write this after seeing this beautiful and emotional photo of Kevin and Edd.
Note: Please go here; tazilp.t-u-m-b-l-r (. c o m) / post / 56082238510/ to see the story that inspired me and here: (you tube) onrepeat (. c o m) / watch / ?v=mHeK0Cwr9sg for the song that inspired them and helped me write this.
(Take out (), spaces and -'s please or simply go to my page for full links.)
"I remember when it was simply. I was just a little kid at that point and my father didn't look to me for happiness and pride in his own image. I could do and be whatever I wanted to be and he love me the same, he said. I pretended to be soldier fighting to protect my country, a firefighter saving a kitty from a tree for a little girl. An Astronaut getting to see a faraway planet never discovered before, a rock star who sang songs from his heart, somebody's partner who loved him just like his mother loved his father and how dad loved his mom.
I could play all day in my room without a care in the world at least that was until my mother left my father and everything changed. I no longer could be anything I had once dreamed to be. My dad set me up in little league and he told me I would be a pro baseball star and make his old man proud. I was his big man and I'd grow up to marry a beautiful woman and have my own kids. Suddenly, I wasn't just his kid anymore, but the reason the old guy didn't fall apart whenever he came home to just me.
When we moved I was upset I like the big city, but dad couldn't afford the city's rent by himself and he told me I'd have lots of other kids to play with. I thought finally at age eight I could find friends who didn't have strange dreams and goals. Who just dreamed of having fun and would treated me like I was just another kid.
Please let me go; I don't wanna be nobodies hero, I don't wanna be your big man, I just wanna be me and fight like everybody else.
But getting to the cul-de-sac I wasn't just dads big man anymore, but I was suddenly put on a pedal stole as a leader and somebody to look up to. I was the rich city kid with a bad temper. And it was all Eddy's fault, he'd taken one look at me and challenged me and I ended up beatin' him up when he angered me. I never meant to step on what little ego he had developed, bein' there. I never meant to take his spot cause in truth I never wanted it. I just wanted to run around with the other kids and play. Sure years of getting' all I wanted and being treated like the big man my ego had been inflated to something overly huge. But that didn't mean I didn't wanna make friends.
When the new kid moved in, I was excited finally somebody who could challenge my authority. In the end, it was just another dork with a strange way of speakin' I couldn't understand this boy who did strange things and liked stranger things. He had it nice; nobody lookin' up to him, everybody loved him for just who he was and he got to be who he wanted to be, not who everybody else wanted him to be.
When he came up to me, I was surprised. I was sure Eddy had told him what a bad guy I was. But he still came over to me with his hand out and the other holding a thing of germ gel and said, "Greetings I am Eddward," and sticks up two fingers. "with two D's, Marion De Vere. Let's be friends Kevin Barr, correct?." And smiles at me with the cutest little gap and for a moment I wanted to shake his hand and smile and say, "Sweet dude, friends it is dork." But all I felt was jealousy, all I could see was his perfect happiness and his dorky life and I pushed him down and laughed at what a dork he was to think someone like me would never be friends with somebody like him.
As we hit middle school I'd gotten so used to my masquerade that if it hadn't been for the dweeb I might of total lost who I originally was. Despite being his bully, captain of the football team, Jock and my stuck up arrogant self, I was just Kevin to him. A boy who had a bad temper cause I hadn't learned to outlet my anger correctly, who played with the bill of his hat or scratched the back of his neck when he was nervous, who drooled over his childhood 'Best friend', because I thought it was right.
But in reality secretly loved to sing in the shower hoping one day he at least get to sing karaoke drunk or who quietly admired a dweeb who explained even the simplest things in non-understandable ways. Whose eyes shined so brightly when he spoke of things he loved, who laughed with his hand covering that cute little gap to try and hid it. Who still had friends despite how dorky he was, who loved him for him and who continued to be him even when he knew bein' somebody else would keep the books in his hands and his face out of the toilet and yet still managed to smile and mean it.
Now where all in high school and if I or you thought Mid school was bad, high school just got worse. No longer was I just a leader, or a big man, but suddenly I was everybody hero. I never asked you all to look up to me; I don't wanna be your hero, I don't wanna be your big man, so let me go cause I just wanna fight like everybody else.
Who decided that a thirteen year old had to watch what they said, who they hung out, what they wanted to be, who they loved, who they slept with … you're not supposed to, but doesn't mean it isn't spoken of or it doesn't happen. Just the other night one of the guys slept with the vice cheerleader and he was given high fives and complements for hitting that. They went even as far as talking about how good she could blow him and how pretty she was. Nathan was the only one to speak up about it, which was bizarre cause he's the touchy kinda guy, good all-around dude, don't get the wrong idea. But even he didn't like the talk about her personal stuff and they called him a spoiled sport and a looser which pissed me off.
It's Junior year and I've been dating dweeb secretly for three years. He's ok with this cause he understands nerds and jocks don't mix and the facts were both boys who love each other. But by now I sick of being in this parade, I'm almost so done with this masquerade. Everybody deserves a chance to walk with everybody else. I just wanna worry about holding down a job to make my dork happy. I just wanna go out with just him and I on the weekends and have fun. Maybe finally get those new strings for my guitar I keep hidden away behind all my sports.
Its senior year and proms coming up, everybody asking me to ask Nazz out. But, no I'm done I've been doing this shit to long and I'm sick of not protecting my baby when they put notes on his back, they beat him up, they call him out. I just want us to be a kid like everybody else. I'm done whispering things in secret of our American dreams. So let me go cause I never asked to be your hero, I never asked to be your big man. I just wanna love who I love out in the open, I wanna be who I wanna be, I wanna do what I wanna do. No more masquerades, no more of your parades, cause everybody deserves a chance to walk with everybody else.
"Double D-Edd Marion De Vere, will you go with me to our senior prom?"