Nick Fury loved being a kindergarten teacher. But sometimes certain students made it difficult. Today he was trying to teach simple math and incorporate lessons of sharing.
"Tony, if you have ten cookies and Billy asks for three, how many cookies does Billy have, and how many do you have?"
"I have ten and Billy has none."
"Okay, if you have ten cookies, and Billy takes three, how many does each of you have?"
"I have ten and Billy has a broken hand and no cookies."
Fur sighed. "Tony, why aren't you cooperating?"
Tony crossed his arms and scowled. "Because I don't like Billy."
"Who do you like?"
"Hm… Bruce." He pointed to his friend next to him.
"Alright, if you have ten cookies and Bruce asks for three of them, how many does each of you have?"
Bruce looked curiously at his friend while Fury fought the urge to face palm.
"Tony, I know you know this math. Why are you being so difficult?"
"Because I'd always share half my stuff with Bruce! Ten minus three is seven."
"Thank you Clint, if Billy had nine pieces of bacon and eats three pieces, what does he have?"
"Happiness. Billy has happiness."
Before he could respond to Clint's answer Steve raised his hand.
"Who is Billy?"
"I think he is rude boy," Natasha answered. "He no share bacon, but ask for Tony's cookies. Is rude."
"I agree," Thor chimed in. "Billy should learn lessons about sharing, not us."
"You know what everyone, let's go out for recess," Fury clapped his hands together. "Put away your papers and pencils and line up at the door."
The six young children cheered as they followed orders. Fury counted himself lucky that it was Friday and seriously considered just keeping them on the playground for the next hour and a half.
Okay, so, never really been big into drabbles, but this one struck and the plot bunny didn't see fit to give me anything else. So, enjoy! And yes, I did get the idea for this from internet memes and the Animaniacs.
Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to the Avengers or Animaniac franchises, nor to internet memes.