A/N: Hope this chapter won't be too confusing for you guys to understand as far as the timeline. This chapter takes place during present day. In chapter 1 we see Booth walking alone and then he starts to flashback to a few days earlier (where the story picks) and now in THIS chapter we are back in present time. Booth is still walking and now you're about to see what happens after that. Why am I so complicated? I'm the reason why we can't have nice things.
Thanks everyone for your support.
A Fine Frenzy
As he made his way across the bridge he noticed the street lights that were illuminating his walk on either side of him were becoming less and less frequent as he drew closer to a more high traffic area. He turned onto L Street and suddenly he was among a sea of people. He almost laughed at the irony of it. He actually felt as if he could be in the sea. Floating, going under, stroking through the current, feeling beat and completely exhausted but pushing on through groups of people - fish. Pissed off at how simply they swam by him as if there wasn't a care in their world. Their world. He didn't feel connected. He didn't feel a part of his own world. As of right now he was just trying not to drown.
Stay afloat – that was the current goal.
He took a deep breath, the summer air filling his lungs, filling him with life quite literally and metaphorically. He picked his head up then and fixed his posture as he exhaled slowly and rolled his shoulders. He tried to clear his mind once more.
He was coming up on a popular bar that he'd been to a few times himself, The Black Rooster Pub. He was passing the back of it, the outside area was crowded and people seemed to be really enjoying themselves. He decided then to stop. He leaned up against a black street lamp and faced the mix of people. The thought that he had been fighting since taking his little impromptu walk snuck up on him during his moment of what should have been clarity as he leaned against the cold steel. Bones will be long gone by this time tomorrow. His mind knew that. His mind was able to grasp that and say that but something inside him was still fighting that fact to its very last breath. Something inside of him was still in denial about it – only it wasn't denial. That something inside him knew it like it was the absolute truth if only he'd do something.
Do something… He sighed and pressed his back harder against the pole as if it was the only thing holding him up at the moment.
Do something? At this point? Would it even matter? Would Bones even consider anything he had to say given all the bullshit he'd already put her through? The back and forth. The mixed signals. The confusion. Shaking his head he moved his eyes from the small crowd who was now singing along to a song by the band Live and down to the ground to where the concrete met his feet.
"Just let her go Booth." He said. His whisper getting lost in the noise of the outside world that went on living without him.
The Black Rooster Pub happened to be one of Sully's favorite spots and he had convinced Brennan that going out to the bar on their last night in D.C. would be a fun time.
"You've had quite a few of those Sully." Brennan pointed out looking down at the bottle that sat in front of Sully.
"Guess you have some catching up to do." He smiled.
She didn't really know why she was pointing out the obvious. It's not like it was a problem anyhow. They'd taken cab here and it's not like either of them had to drive at any point during the night. Sully wasn't alcohol dependent, so what if he had a few drinks? Or more than a few? It seemed like recently she just scrutinized every little thing that he did. Things bothered her more than they should. She went out of her way to comment on everything. She went out of her way to argue about everything.
It was tiring. She was tired of being tired.
Sully noticed Brennan deep in thought. "You ok?"
She moved her arms from the top of the pub style table and placed them on her lap under the table. "Yes, I'm alright." Sully looked at her skeptically and she knew her answer was not satisfying. "It's just… pretty warm in here isn't it?"
"You wanna get some air?" He hooked a thumb over his right shoulder pointed towards the doors that lead to the bar's patio.
Sully hopped down off his chair, grabbed his beer from the table and motioned for Brennan to follow him. When she got down and started to follow behind him, he turned slightly to grab her hand and help guide her through the crowd but she pulled back. The look on his face was hurt with a mix of anger and it was only at that point she realized her reaction of pulling away from him. Again. It was so automatic anymore that she didn't consciously know that she was even doing it. She had been pulling away from him a lot recently. And each time the confusion on his face was replaced with more…anger. After reestablishing her boundaries she would always think of Booth immediately.
He brain. Her brain knew that this was illogical. She was with Sully. She had established a serious relationship with a man and him reaching out to her physically, to hold her hand, touch her, guide her – it shouldn't be an issue. She would just have to keep telling herself that. Then things would be ok. The she wouldn't react like that.
But something inside her. Something deep within her was in denial. Something inside told her not to trust her brain. It told her quite blatantly that she belonged to Booth. Her, everything she was, the right to touch her in any and every way belonged to Booth and Booth only. Something inside told her to fight for that because that's what she wanted. That's what she needed. And she could have it if only she would just… do something.
Sully had turned around completely again, without her hand, and led her out towards the patio where he secured a small table with a large blue and white umbrella with a Miller Lite logo on it running through the center. The air was refreshing and as she inhaled a light breeze picked up. She felt….better.
'Just let him go.' She thought. She had a perfectly good man sitting right in front of her. He had a list of positive character traits. He was good looking and he loved her. It made sense for her to love him. It made sense for her to leave tomorrow with him. She focused on him from across the table. He looked irritated.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" He asked her over the music.
The music wasn't too terribly loud but it was loud enough to someone would really have to use their "outside voice" as they call it to be able to hear over both the music and the people.
"I suppose." She answered honestly.
"What's on your mind?"
"Thousands, millions of things probably. Our thoughts are many, Sully, I can't pinpoint one thing in particular at the moment."
He shook his head. "Bullshit Tempe." He said as casually as if he were commenting on something as trivial as the music that was playing.
"Just tell me what you're really thinking about. Be honest with me. For once." He was leaning forward in his seat, beer between his legs being held under the table.
"So you believe that all this time I've been, what, lying to you about something?" Her voice was becoming less like her own and had the potential to sound like a panicked woman she didn't know if she didn't get herself under control.
"After everything that's happened over this last week and a half, you're telling me that I have nothing to worry about? That there isn't one substantial thing you're keeping from me? That tomorrow we're going to sail away together and never have to," He stopped himself; he collected himself and went on, "never have to worry about anyone coming between us?"
She wanted to look at him like she could taste his words and they were bitter in her mouth. She wanted to… but she didn't. She kept her same, nearly emotionless, face intact. The one she knew would most likely irritate him even more. She said nothing and looked away from him. And as she did so a song that she knew came on. A song that everyone knew, apparently. The slightly intoxicated crowd sung along with great enthusiasm.
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The Angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door
She looked back at him. A small smile spread across her face. "I was just thinking…" Sully leaned in even closer to the table. Anxious. Confused. Was she smiling?
Brennan pressed her lips together and tilted her head to the side. The crowd continued to sing. "I was thinking that,"
Oh now feel it coming back again
Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind
Forces pulling from the center of the earth again
I can feel it
"I was thinking about Booth, Sully." And there it was.
"I was thinking about Booth." She repeats.
Her eyes were confidant but unsure, unblinking, relieved but scared. His dark eyes grew darker. Brennan knew this wasn't going to end well, even before she heard the bottle he was holding under the table smash to pieces against the concrete below them.
Thanks for reading!