There's nothing more beautiful than watching the sunset… late on a cool, breezy, day. Watching the wind sweep the clouds in all different directions. Watching as it, then, twists them into familiar, rather comical, shapes. Seeing the sky transition from a vibrant orange color, to a red, then a violet, then finally watching as evening falls with a cool blue. All at once you can feel the most sincerest honesty… the most uninhibited joyous feeling. How wonderful the feeling is to know that you're merely just a spec in this world we live in… to know that no matter what problems you may face, they're nothing compared to the grand scale of things. There are no words to describe it. The innocence, honesty, and beauty contained in those moments is indescribable. Beautiful.
I guess you could say I was always the goodie-goodie kid; the kid with morals; the kid that always did the right thing... yep, that's me... see I never understood why I became one of the "popular" guys. I'm not anything special, I'm not a football player, I'm not "Mr. Suave", I'm just not your typical popular guy. I pride myself in the fact that I DON'T have to be like those other guys. The guys picking on "nerds" like Brainy, taking advantage of girls like Ronda who, although is one of the most popular girls in school, can't see through to the fact that, 'hey, this guy's only dating you so he can make a good reputation for himself.' Nope, I'm just not like that. I would NEVER be like that, I vowed… on more than one occasion… I'm just me, good old Arnold.
High school is nothing I expected it to be. I feared that people would be more mature than I. That somehow I'd be over shadowed by all the people coming and going from the school. In reality, it seems that the only thing to change is people's insecurities. HA! There is no maturity here. People changed, not for the better, but for no other reason than to save face. I never understood it, I still don't. I don't feel that I have to pretend to be someone else to cover for my own lack of confidence. I won't lie, I don't consider myself the "poster boy" for confidence, but I'm not totally insecure. I'm average. Well, I won't go as far as to compare myself to others seeing as thought I'm Mr. Goodie-goodie himself, but still… I don't feel any different than anyone else. Like I said, I'm just Arnold. But, there's one way I feel different…
This word doesn't seem to have the same meaning to me as everyone else. I'm the only person I know who's doomed to live their life parentless… to never know what happened to them… and so be forced to live with the "unconventional" family to say the least. No one else I know has a pet pig, or lives with a crazy grandma who insists on making you green tea and calling you "Tex" or "Kimba". But I love her all the same… I love my whole "family". But being deprived of parental love can do a number on you. When you're a kid, it's different. You know you're not the same as the other children who have a mother and/or a father, but you don't really understand why. It's when you grow up and finally understand the severity of the matter that you actually realize it, and boy, does it hit you like a ton of bricks. Hmm… it's more like someone tore your heart to shreds then put it back together and forgot to put some pieces back. The holes in my heart will never close or heal, I've come to that conclusion, but I've decided that the more I grow up the less appropriate it is for me to sulk around about it. I can handle myself.
That's another word I'm not too familiar with. Devotion… the kind in a relationship? Maybe. I'm not too familiar with relationships, though, either. I've "dated" girls, but I don't seem to ever find the right one. I'm a sucker for crushes, so I guess it's only my fault for falling for the wrong girl. Thank God my naiveté hasn't yet gotten me into a long term relationship with one of those "wrong girls", but I can't take the credit for that. Helga's always been there to "show me the light." I can never be too grateful to her for that.
Helga G. Pataki.
Helga and I have never been great friends, but she's never been my enemy. We haven't always gotten along, but she's there when I need her. She's funny like that. One minute she can be telling me how much she hates me, then the next she's standing next to me with her hand on my shoulder. She's a wonderfully ironic person, and I can only hope she stays that way forever. She will, I know it. The only bad thing about her is… well, not so much about her, but.. Gerald doesn't really like her.
My best friend since preschool. He and I have been inseparable since we were three, and something tells me that that's not about to change any time soon. He's the best friend a person can have, but he's a little on the ignorant side. He's never given Helga a chance. Maybe I'm just trying to see something that's not there, but I always believed that she was good person inside. As much as I don't want to admit this, Gerald embodies the stereotype of the typical high school popular jock. He dates girls left and right. He never "uses" them, but he drops them sometimes like yesterday's garbage. He has a soft spot for one girl, though. I don't think he'll ever find anyone quite like her. Phoebe.
She's a great friend, but insists on playing the "side kick" to Helga and her domineering ways. Not that she seems to mind it, though. I find that quite interesting in itself. Why would someone as smart as Phoebe want to follow Helga around? The answer is simple, she cares about her, that's why. I find it a sweet ode to friendship on some level, although I don't condone Helga's method of taking advantage of her.
That's enough introductions, don't you think?
Things aren't always what they seem, and sometimes the things you least expect can happen when you least expect them to. It's clichéd I know, but it's so true, one must repeat it. Love's like that too. You can never rush love. You can never expect when you fall in love. You can't even begin to expect who you fall in love with. It frustrates people, yes… but that's the beauty of love. You can't expect to know anything about it, which makes it all the more mysterious and wonderful. Love. Yeah, love…
Spoken by a true hopeless romantic.
And so, after all explanations are said and done, my story begins…
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Wow, this started off a little slow, but it'll be longer in the next chapter AND be more interesting. I'm just one of those people who has to explain things before she starts them. Eh, must be the perfectionist in me, hehe :D