Since the "author" never bothered, I will do a disclaimer. I do not own Harry Potter or this story, and neither did the original author.


Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)

(*groans*)

2 my gf (ew not in that way)

(What "other" way? Are you implying...?)

raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling.

(They did? *groans* I can't even begin to imagine what your grammar and spelling must have been like originally... *dies*)

U rok! Justin

(Beaver?)

ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

(Never heard of them.)

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

(Okay... What, exactly, did she do to piss her 'rents off?)

and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)

(Uh-huh. Yep. Totally, because all babies are born with long hair.)

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears

(Whoa, whoa whoa! Over description, much? And secondly, LIMPID TEARS? O.O)

and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).

(Gladly. *zooms away but is pulled back for some reason* Guess I'm staying... *sobs*)

I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

(Ew, incest alert!)

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.

(Yeah, 'cause Edward had disgusting brown and crooked teeth.)

I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England

(Scotland, dummy)

where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)

(Oh no way, I thought you were five!).

I'm a goth

(I never would have guessed)

(in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.

(I'm pretty sure Hot Topic got bought by some prep store. Abercrombie? I dunno. TAKE THAT, TARA!)

For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.

(Ten bucks she's making this stuff up.)

I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation

(Huh? But you're pale... Rape of author-canon: 1.)

black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining

(Total defiance of the laws of nature: 1.)

so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

(Charming)

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

(Uneccesary suspense: 1!)

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

(Completely OOC characters: 1!)

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

(Yeah. So what, exactly, was the point of the... *looks up to check* last 4 noncommentary lines?)

AN: IS it good?

(Dearie, to put it mildly, no one in their right minds would EVER think this is good.)

PLZ tell me fangz!


Oh, hooray. The stupidity is over. *hushed whisper* If you don't R&R, I'll be back with... *horror-filled gasp* MORE OF THIS STORY!

So... Yeah, R&R, and I promise Percy Jackson and the Collision of Worlds Ch. 2 will be up soon!

Candy OUT.