Part III: Your Ass is Mine, (s)Layer! -

Coming back with the bottle of Baby Oil clenched in his hot little hand, Xander started to seriously hope that he wasn't just asleep in his room and–

Oh, hell. If he did wake up at some point and find out this had just been the hottest, longest lasting, and most erotic wet dream in history, who cared?

When he came back into the front room of the pool house, Cordelia was sitting up, peeling sweat soaked hair from her face and combing it back with her fingers. And, wow –

Seriously erotic looking, too, sitting up with her knees bent and those tits just barely pressing into them. Especially with the very recent memory of what she looked like under him in mid-orgasm.

Waving the Baby Oil, Xander said inanely, "I found it."

Cordelia smirked and rolled her eyes at him. "Good boy. Now come here for your treat."

"Yes ma'am."

Scooting back a bit, Cordelia leaned back against the arm of the couch with her legs stretched out in front of her, partially sitting up. Xander looked at her position, shrugged, and moved to keel over her on the couch, straddling her legs. Heh. Straddling her legs with his raging hard-on right in front of her face again. Deja vu.

Cordelia arched an eyebrow at said hard-on, and smiled. "I think it managed to get even harder. I'm impressed."

Shrugging, Xander said, "Uh... it obviously likes that fantasy too."

"Mind of its own, huh?" Cordelia smirked at him. "Gimme that."

Handing her the bottle of Baby Oil, Xander watched as she squirted a little bit into her palm, and then set the bottle down and rubbed her hands together. Cocking her head and examining the situation, she shrugged after a moment and grasped him by the shaft near the root with one oily hand while wrapping the other around the head and the last few inches.

Xander's back arched and his eyes nearly bugged out as her oily grip closed on the sensitive glans. "Gnnngg!"

"What?" Cordelia gave him an inquisitive look. "Is that a fantasy too?"

"No... just sensitive," Xander said, looking down at her as she began stroking the oil into him. "The one with the Baby Oil involves you and Charisma Carpenter naked on a waterbed."


"Considering the fringe benefits, I'm gonna run with that as an occupation."

"Snerk." Cordelia's eyebrows went up, and she smirked. "Charisma Carpenter? You actually watched Malibu Shores?"

"And Babewatch. And Josh Kirby: Time Warrior. Don't tell anyone. I want to keep what's left of my geek cred."

"Your secret is safe with me," Cordelia said, her lips starting to twitch into a grin. Picking the bottle back up, Cordelia squirted a little more on above her curled hand on his shaft, and then began stroking upward and down, getting him seriously slick. She set the bottle back on the floor by the couch.

"Okay. But this is now officially in the fantasy list," Xander said, watching her hands play with his oily dick. "Top ten."

"Well, you're easy to please," Cordelia said, giggling. "Okay, uh... how do you want to do this?"

"Hrrmm." Xander looked down at her, contemplating. If he was going to have a hot fantasy made real... "Okay," he said, easing off the couch and standing, "Lay down on your stomach and elbows."

Cordelia arched an eyebrow at him, but shrugged and slid down, rolling over onto her stomach and bringing her bent elbows forward and under her. She raised her hips at his urging, and he slid the two flat throw pillows under her hips.

Quirking his lips, Xander said, "Move the elbows farther forward so I can reach your tits."

Cordelia narrowed her eyes and gave him a half annoyed, half amused looking glare. "Boy, demanding and picky, aren't we?"

"Hey," Xander said, "In my fantasy, I'm always squeezing your tits when I butt fuck you."

Snickering, Cordelia shook her head, and said, "Boy. That's a romantic sounding proposition." Still, she adjusted and slid her arms forward until her elbows were just slightly ahead of her shoulders.

"Hey. I'm thinking that romance, and 'Hey vampire, would you really like to fuck me up the ass?' don't belong in the same sentence," Xander said, snickering back at her.

"Gawd," Cordelia said, her head drooping. She started laughing, adding, "I really have become such a slut tonight, huh?"

"Blame it on my evil vampire powers."

"Oh. Right. I think I will," Cordelia said, nodding. Glancing over at him, she said, "Well? Let's get this over with."

"Gee, and you called me unromantic?"

"If you have to use my body to slake your evil and disgusting lusts, you monster, there's no sense in dragging it out."

Climbing onto the couch and straddling her thighs, Xander looked down at the gorgeous vista below. "Earlier, you were enjoying my evil and disgusting lusts."

"I was faking it?" Cordelia said, twisting slightly to grin at him over her shoulder.

"Somehow, I'm thinking, 'no'." Xander said, grinning back.

"Rats. You're onto me," Cordelia said, laughing.

Leaning forward and down, Xander picked up the Baby Oil bottle and squirted some onto the index and middle finger of his left hand, and then stuck the tip of the bottle between Cordelia's cheeks and squirted some onto her asshole.

"Gnng!" she said, wriggling a bit. "Damn, that's a bit cold."

Grinning, Xander spread the oil over both fingers, and then leaned forward and reached down. Carefully, he began to work the tip of his forefinger into her, past her sphincter.

"Oh!" Cordelia said, squirming again, and then she jumped as he slid the entire finger in up to the knuckle. "It's, a, gotten smaller... "

"We're not done yet."


Drawing his finger all the way back, he slid it in and out a few more times, and then pulled it back again and added the middle finger, working both of them in. He squirted a bit more oil on where they entered, then slid them both in all the way.

"Ohh!" Cordelia shook her head, then looked back at him, biting her lower lip as he drew the two fingers back. "That feels... weird."

"Well... " Xander shrugged, not knowing how to respond to that. "I figured I'd make sure that this wouldn't hurt you."

"Oh. That's thoughtful... " Cordelia let out a small gasp as he began stroking his fingers in and out, lubricating her thoroughly.

Withdrawing his fingers completely, Xander squirted a bit more into her butt-hole before it eased shut, eliciting another "Eep!" and then a bit more onto the head of his cock. He set the Baby Oil bottle back down, and then went back to the new adventure.

Leaning forward, Xander eased up and carefully slid the tip of his cock between Cordelia's cheeks, and then positioned it and pressed the head into her asshole.

"Ohh! Uh, that's more what I expected to feel... "

"It's no longer a finger," Xander said, snickering. He moved his hips, beginning to push slowly.

"Uh... oh! Uh... go easy, Dork," Cordelia said. "I mean, this is the first time I've done this. I don't want you to rupture me or anything."

"I'll try not to."

Pressing harder, Xander slid the head of his cock into her completely, and then the first inch or so past that, holding for a moment as Cordelia gasped and arched back slightly. He pulled back out to the head, and then pushed in again, going an inch or so deeper this time.


Xander froze in place. "Uh... stop?" He started to withdraw...

"No! I mean, don't pull out, just... uh... stop," Cordelia said, glancing back at him. "God. That feels so... weird."

"Umm... good weird? Or bad weird?" Xander looked at her expression, hoping for a clue, and then down at where three inches of his dick were now buried in Cordelia's perfect ass.

She wriggled a bit, making Xander groan. "Uh... not sure," Cordelia said. "Just... weird."

"Okay. Clears that right up," Xander said.

"Hey! I haven't done this before – how do I know what it's supposed to feel like?" Cordelia said. "Umm... does it feel good for you?"

"Oh God yes," Xander said, fervently.

"Oh. Okay... " Cordelia shook her head slightly, and said, "Go ahead then. But – slowly."

"As you wish," Xander said. He slid another inch or so into her, and then pulled back out to the head again. Gods, if he didn't think it was impossible, he'd swear his hard-on was getting bigger. And harder... looking down, that had to be the most incredible sight he'd ever seen. Even more so than sliding into her doggy style before, somehow.

Moving his hips again, he slid back into her until he was only a couple of inches shy of being in all the way, pausing when Cordelia let out a gasp and a small shriek, and then drawing back to the head. Leaning back with his knees straddling her legs just behind her slightly upraised ass, Xander took a good grip on Cordelia's waist just above her hips, and slid all the way in, slowly, until he was seated to the root.

He barely even noticed or registered her half moan, half squeal as his hips hit the cheeks of her ass and flattened them up against him. Oh, gods... if he'd thought that Cordelia's pussywas tight, that was nothing to having his cock buried up to the tip in her ass. When she jumped slightly and clenched up reflexively, it felt like her entire body clamped down around him, squeezing him from base to head. Tight, slick, and incredibly hot around his hard dick...

Damn, but his late night masturbation fantasies hadn't even captured the basics.

Pausing for a moment to fully enjoy the experience, Xander leaned forward a bit so his hands could roam over Cordelia's breasts and play with her nipples. She raised herself up on her elbows and forearms a bit, moaning and biting her lower lip.

"Oh gods oh gods... oh gods," Cordelia was saying. her hips gave a slight twitch and jerk under him, making him groan. He slid his hands slowly back down to her hips, causing her abdomen to undulate and her asshole to spasm and clench around him. Groan... Yup. More than everything he'd fantasized about...

"Come to a conclusion yet?" Xander asked, curious.

"Uh huh. Yeah... " Cordelia paused, breathing heavy. "Good weird, but still... weird."

Xander leaned forward, moving his hands from Cordelia's hips and using them and his arms to brace himself up by her shoulders, still buried deep in her asshole. Gently, he drew himself nearly all the way out, and then slid back in to the root, thoroughly enjoying the sound and motion that that got from Cordelia.

He pulled back again, all the way to the head, and slid back in, slightly faster this time, and then again. He bent his head to kiss her shoulder, and Cordelia turned her head to lock lips with him. Pulling all the way back, he thrust back in again slightly harder, getting a muffled gasp from her into his mouth.

Gently at first, and then increasing the pace and the hardness, Xander began to pump into Cordelia's incredibly tight ass with long strokes from tip to base. After awhile, he could feel her start to shudder around him, every movement and response of her body magnified by the hot tightness of her asshole wrapping his stiff cock.

Cordelia went from gasping at each thrust, to making a sudden harsh sound in her throat, and then her hips began to undulate, thrusting up and back to meet him. He began pulling back only halfway, sliding into her faster in shorter and harder strokes.

"Oh... oh, gods... " Cordelia gasped, then gave a harsh moan and suddenly stiffened all over, thrusting her hips and ass back into his and grinding herself into his deeply buried cock with short, hard jerks of her hips. "Ooohhh uuunngghh!"

Xander pulled back all the way, and then slid back into her to the root in one lone, hard, fast stroke, burying himself in her hot tightness. It sent her completely over the edge, and she screamed and began to thrash under him, undulating her hips in tiny jerks while making mewling sounds. Full body shudders went through her in ripples as her head arched back.

Oh, gods. He could feel every ripple and shudder of her long orgasm through her body as she clenched her ass around his cock. Just the tight pressure and heat around the suddenly incredibly sensitive head brought him up. He felt a sudden pressure and a matching ripple down deep in his balls, and he pulled back to the head, and began thrusting quickly and deeply into her as it built.

"Oh! Ughnn... oh, gods, Cordy," Xander said, suddenly arching his back. "Oh God." He couldn't help it – he practically convulsed and ended the last backstroke by slamming his cock forward into her hard, until it was buried from head to base in her tightly clenching ass.

"Yarrgggh! Oh! Ahhh enngghhn! GOD!" Cordelia matched his groan and near scream with one of her own, her head jerking forward and her hips suddenly thrusting back against him. She froze there trembling as it suddenly felt like rivers of hot cum were pulsing out of the end of Xander's dick into her.

The top of his head didn't come off this time, but that didn't make this orgasm any less intense than the other two.

It probably couldn't have been more than minutes, if that, but it felt like it went on forever. Xander ground his hips against Cordelia's ass cheeks, trying vainly to push in even deeper as spurt after spurt shot out of him. Even after he was certain that nothing else was coming out, the head of his cock kept throbbing and pulsing, and it felt like his nut-sack had completely drawn up into his stomach.

Xander was afraid to move, even to pull back slightly. The intense orgasm had left the head of his cock that sensitive – he was half afraid he'd leave it behind if he tried to pull back.

He became vaguely aware that Cordelia had collapsed under him, and was murmuring, "Oh... oh... oh... " over and over.

Experimentally, finally, he pulled back slightly, just to see if he could. Nothing ripped off, which was a good sign. Slowly, he began to pull back and slide into Cordelia until his cock finally began to give up the ghost and start going limp. Even then, each movement felt incredible on his highly sensitized glans and first inch or so.

Finally, he collapsed onto Cordelia with his drained and softening cock still inside of her, catching himself on his elbows over her back.

"Oh... wow."

"Uh huh."

"I'm going to go out on a limb, and figure that was incredible on both ends... " Xander said.

"Oh, yeah... " Cordelia breathed out, and then started snickering. It turned into a fit of giggles. "And could you have possibly come up with a more unfortunate choice of words?"

Grinning next to her ear, Xander lowered his head and kissed her shoulder. "Master of the bad pun, that's me."

"Bad double entendre, you mean," she said, still giggling.

"Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe," Xander said, snickering.

"I don't think I even have to ask if that finally did it."

"Oh, gods yes."

"Or if you enjoyed it... "

"Oh, gods yes."

"Great, now you're going to want to do that all the time," Cordelia said.

"Oh gods yes," Xander said, snickering.

"We'll see," Cordelia said, sighing. She let her head droop forward. "Oh God – I can't believe I actually agreed to do that."

"Uh... just out of curiosity, why did you?" Xander asked, honestly curious.

"I'm writing it off to your evil vampire powers."

"No, seriously."

"Seriously?" Cordelia looked back at him, raising an eyebrow. "Seriously, I am going to write it off to getting way too deep in the mood with the fantasy thing. That, and too turned on to think straight." Moving her shoulders in something like a shrug, she said, "Ah... curiosity, coupled with you planting the idea in my head and then driving me insane?"

"Ah. Okay," Xander said, nodding. "Well, gotta say, it was the hottest thing I've ever done."

"All of tonight was... And aside from that, I have no clue," Cordelia said, "Just like I had no clue that doing the helpless submissive act would turn me on so much."

"Oh. Ah... well? It's such a change from normal you?"

"Apparently? Not so much." Cordelia made a disgusted sound, and shook her head. "Gods... I didn't even know that you could cum from that. The... ah... ass thing. If you're a girl, I mean." Pausing, she added, "Obviously, you can if you're a guy."

"Hey. Considering I came just from rubbing your panties," Xander said, "I'm thinking that for a guy? Dry humping, handjob, blowjob, pussy, anal, dirty language – anything will do it."

"Dirty language, huh?" Cordelia said, giggling again. "I'll have to remember that."

"Huh. You talking dirty to me? Guarantee it," Xander said, laughing.

"Sigh. At least you're easy to please," Cordelia said, laughing as well.

Xander kissed her shoulder and said, "You'll be happy to know I've decided not to drain and turn you."

"Oh. Well, that's nice," Cordelia said, nodding. "I'm pretty sure my Watcher won't approve of my new battle technique, though."

"Said we could deal with him."

"Pretty sure the Council frowns on mixed marriages also."

"Huh? Marriage?"

"Hey! You think I'm going to let some vamp just thrall me and turn me into a sex slave without a ring," Cordelia said, looking at him with her eyebrows rising. "You've got another think coming, you bloodsucking louse."

"That draining option suddenly seems better every minute."

"But then you lose the 'something hot and wet wrapped around you' thing," Cordelia said.

"And around my thing," Xander said, nodding. "Curses, foiled again."

"Yup." Cordelia snickered at him, and then said, peremptorily, "Get off of me. I have to go pee."

"Ah. And the romance is once again gone," Xander said, easing out of and then off of her. He watched appreciatively as she rolled over and sat up. "So... still want to head up to your room later?"

Cordelia nodded, standing up and stretching. "Sure. But I think we're done with vampire role playing for the night."

"Yeah. It's gotten to be a pain in the ass."

Cordelia gave him an outraged look, and then giggled. Dope slapping him upside the head, she said, "Jerk." She paused to look down at herself, and wrinkled her nose. "I so need a shower, too."

"I'll scrub your back. And your front."

Arching her eyebrows at him, Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Oh, what the hell." (beat) "After I pee, though."

Xander stretched all the way onto his toes, and then relaxed, grinning at her. He watched appreciatively as she swayed her way out of the room to the pool house's bathrooms.

Pool House, Chase Estate, Sunnydale – Later...

"Okay, so, why didn't we ever do this before?" Cordelia asked, lying half across Xander's chest and half curled into his arm.

"Uh... " Xander gave her a lopsided shrug. "Well... first, there was you kicking off the parking brake in the Miata. Not to mention the Oz-wolf punching in the roof of the convertible... and then we decided to wait for Homecoming."

"Oh. That," Cordelia said, nodding. "God, we were stupid when we were younger."

"Yeah. Glad that's over."

They looked at each other and both burst into giggles.

"So, did that fulfill all of your perverted fantasies, Dweeb?" Cordelia asked.

"Hrmm. Well, I never did get around to tit fucking you," Xander said, deadpan, "So I'm gonna go with 'no'."

"Ah. Something to look forward to for next time, then."

"So, no more Evil Vampire and the Vampire Layer?" Xander said, raising his eyebrows.

"Not tonight, dear," Cordelia said. Sighing and rolling her eyes, she said, "And quit making with the puppy-dog eyes, Dweeb."

"Aww. But but but – " Xander started laughing at the look she gave him. "Fine. But next time – "

"Next time, you get to be the Slayer," Cordelia said, "And I get to be the Evil Vampire with the enthralling powers. Jerk."

"I think me being male rules that out."

"It's pretend, Idiot Boy," Cordelia said, rolling her eyes again.

"Or we could play Evil Vampire and the hot victim," Xander said, waggling his eyebrows. "You could wear your cheerleader uniform..."

"Hrmm." Cordelia frowned, nibbling at her lower lip. "That has possibilities."

"It does, it does," Xander said.

"Oh! Better idea: Nighthawk and the helpless and grateful rescued victim," Cordelia said, starting to grin wickedly. "You could wear your black fatigues."

"Okay, now, I like that one." Xander paused for a moment while his mind went into vapor lock, then, "Nighthawk and the Sexy Rescued Schoolgirl."

"Ooh – I like that," Cordelia said. Frowning thoughtfully, she added, "I know where you can buy those."

Xander went into vapor lock again, and momentary brain meltdown. Shaking his head, in a kind of a strangled voice he said, "Sexy schoolgirls?"

"No!" Cordelia made a fist and thumped him on the chest. "Schoolgirl outfits, dimwit. Sexy, abbreviated, Catholic schoolgirl fantasy outfits."

"Ah. Okay," Xander said, "That makes more sense." (beat) "I liked my version better, though."

"You would," Cordelia said, glaring at him, then she snickered. "But that would be a hell of a store. And a hell of a shopping experience."

"Oh yeah," Xander said fervently. "Heh. You're really getting into this whole role play thing."

"Seriously?" Cordelia arched her eyebrows at him. "I haven't... okay, so I don't maybe have a lot of actual sex to compare to. But in making out and groping? I've never cum like that in my life before."

"Ah. Okay," Xander said. He wasn't about to argue with that. What – and kill the idea of future sessions? Don't be stupid.

"Seriously, I know you haven't either, Dork," Cordelia said, "So where in the hell did you come up with all of that?"

"Huh? What, you mean you think that I haven't – "

At Cordelia's eye-roll, Xander gave her the lopsided shrug again. "Okay, you're not wrong. But hey – geek. I've been doing nothing except thinking about and imagining sex since the age of twelve – "

"Crap. We could have been doing this since the seventh grade?" Cordelia said, her expression mournful.

"Life is full of missed opportunity," Xander said. "Oh – and from studying porn videos."

"Studying, yeah," Cordelia said, snorting derisively, "That's a good word for it."

"Don't knock it, Little Miss I've Never Come Like That In My Life girl," Xander said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh. Right. I see there are practical benefits," Cordelia said. Both of them shook their heads and then grinned at each other.

"Yeah," Xander said. "Never thought I'd get to actually try any of that with any date that I didn't have to blow up first, though."

"Eww! Ick!" Cordelia glared at him and slapped him on the chest. "Gross!"

"You're pretty close to inflatable, though... "

"Boy, you really don't ever want to get laid again, do you?"

"Ah, uh... " Xander looked at her expression and started laughing, "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Yeah. Try harder next time, dumb ass," Cordelia said, sighing. After a beat, she brightened suddenly. "And hey – I'll bet you never once thought of Faith or Buffy tonight."

"Who?" Xander gave her a blank look.

"Or Willow?" At Xander's continued blank expression, Cordelia said, "Little red haired girl about so high? Irritatingly cute with an annoying I'm so sweet attitude?"

"Oh, her. I kind of vaguely remember her... "

"Snerk. So, no more Slayer fixation?"

"Oh yeah," Xander said, leaning his head down to kiss her. After the kiss broke, he said, "But I already have the Slayer I want."

"Aww. I'll bet you say that to all the Vampire Layers," Cordelia said, laughing.

"Only the ones that give me blowjobs."

Snickering, Cordelia suddenly sighed and shook her head. "Oh, God – I'm going to have to pay to have this couch professionally cleaned. Or replace it."

"Or have it given an honored place in a museum," Xander suggested. "Or sell it to a collector when you're rich and famous."

"True. So, you ready to head up to my room?"

"Yeah," Xander said, nodding. "Let's get something to eat first, though."

"We'll raid the kitchen on the way," Cordelia said, nodding back. "I'm starving."

"Good plan," Xander said.

"I thought so."

"Huh. So, you said your parents were gone for the next several days?"

"Yup." Cordelia leered at him. "I'm planning to keep you prisoner in my room until Monday, and use you as a sexual plaything."

"I'm, ah, oddly okay with that."

"Go figure."

"Oh! I know... " At Cordelia's raised eyebrow, he elaborated, "Tell you what," Xander said. He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Next time, you can get a sexy Circus Girl outfit, a chair and a fake whip, and we can play 'hideous were-beast and the hot werewolf tamer'."

Arching her eyebrows back at him, Cordelia smirked and said, "What kind of fun is a fake whip?"

~ The END ~

(for now)

A/N: Somehow, I'm willing to bet that if this had happened in canon, they wouldn't have been able to pry Cordelia over to Angel Investigations with a crowbar and blasting powder. And the "Fluke" would never have happened.