Title: Draco and Ginny's Rant 3
Author: Tiny Q
E-Mail: one legged lesbian seagull hotmail.com (Please insert 3 underscores and one "at" sign)
A/N: Sorry for the not putting up the chapter properly a few weeks ago. Something went wrong when I uploaded it and then all the symbols went missing and it made no sense. Anyone else having this problem as well?? I haven't had a chance until now to edit it and make it readable. But enough of that. Well apparently I am back. How wonderful eh? And what do I bring with me? Only the next instalment of 'Draco and Ginny's Rant'. I hope you are all jumping around like excited kids on sugar before Santa arrives. ... Don't really know where that came from. Anyhoo, my depression is finally starting to lift up so happier things are definitely on the way. Which is good. And what better of a way to kick it off than with a rant. This is a compilation of all the silly things that I have been thinking of and a few of the things I have been reading. But please, if you are a fan fic writer: DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!! It's all in fun. And come on, you all know that this all does happen. wink It's kind of weird though that I am writing like one of these a year... So if my writing style seems different from the other two that will be why.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. Though I really really wish Draco was mine. sigh Sadly he's not though. If any one could get me a real live Draco I am sure my bouts of depression would clear up and I could write happy stories more often! :D
Draco and Ginny's Rant 3
"Ok, Luna," Ginny said cheerfully, looking at the wide-eyed girl. "All you really need to do is go over there and talk to Malfoy. Then come back here and tell me what he said." The blonde looked over to the other blonde, her eyes growing a touch wider.
"But he doesn't know anything about the Crumplehorned Snorlaxes," Luna replied in a misty voice. "He told me so himself."
"Yes well," Ginny continued, a grin on her face. "You don't need to go asking him about those this time. Just ask him about-"
Tiny Q: Gah! Stupid phone! I want to write!
– Tiny Q scurries off to yell at who ever was unfortunate enough to phone her –
Draco: – walks over to where Ginny is standing, ignoring Luna who is off in her own little world – And what is it exactly that the Loon was supposed to ask me on your behalf.
Ginny: Boxers of briefs.
Draco: And you actually thought that would work?
Ginny: Hey, I didn't make up the script.
Draco: Something I know all too well. Not that there would be much of an improvement if you did anyways.
Ginny: Hey, at least I would come up with something a bit more fresh than what's been going on lately.
Draco: Oh, and what is it that would be so different with you running the show?
Ginny: Well, for one thing, I would be the one with my own personal room for once. I don't see why you always get one and I don't.
Draco: Well, for one thing you have to be Head Girl, or Boy in my case, or so it seems, which means that you have to be in your seventh year. Or you have to be very rich. All of which you fail to qualify for.
Ginny: Now that was just cruel. I am sure if there is a nice enough author I could get my own room.
Draco: Yah, so you could share it with the Mudblood.
Ginny: I'd defend her but I am sick of doing it. Can't you just grow up?
Draco: Apparently not. But since we are on the topic of immaturity, you know what's really getting old?
Draco: Our nickname insults for each other. Take "Mal-Ferret" for example. I get the jist that I am a "bad ferret" but really, it's just silly. Ferret I can understand but don't try to insult me with English/French splices. Not even the Canadians do that, and their bilingual!
Ginny: Which I still don't understand, but now is not the time to get into that. But look on the bright side, at least you aren't referred to as "Weaslette" or "Brat". I still can't understand the last one. Why would you want to make out with a brat? It makes me seem like I'm five and you're a pedophile.
Draco: Ick. Bad mental image. Thanks for that.
Ginny: Oh, no problem.
Draco: But since we are on the topic of children, can I mention my father again?
Ginny: Gah! I get it already! Your father is not abusive, verbally or physically, otherwise you wouldn't worship him the way you do! Nor is he neglectful or anything of the sort, or you wouldn't be talking about him every other line in the bloody books. He's just a rudy Death Eater who you seem to have an unhealthy obsession with!
Draco: I wouldn't call it unhealthy. He is still my father.
Ginny: – screams – You are such a loser!
Draco: Takes one to know one.
Ginny: Now we are getting back to the petty bickering, which is rather nice since there seems to be so few stories these days where we actually hate each other in the beginning anymore. It's like people just want to skip all that and move right on to the action.
Draco: Back to that topic again, are we?
Ginny: Well, I just couldn't resist. I mean seriously now, how many times can I truly be deflowered. It's not like it grows back! Why can't you ever be the virgin?
Draco: Because my name isn't Virginia, now is it?
Ginny: Well it's not my name either. It's Ginerva Molly Weasley, thank you very much. The All Powerful J.K. Rowling says so.
Draco: But it hasn't stopped anyone from referring to you as Virginia, has it?
Ginny: – sorrowfully – No. What do you want to rant about now that I am all put out?
Draco: How about all the wonderful clichés that are emerging after the fifth book's release? Do people really think that if I am orphaned at the age of sixteen, or better yet: seventeen, I would need to go live with the Weasleys? I would be legally old enough to live on my own and I would be bloody rich!
Ginny: Of course you would be. But then you wouldn't get to experience the joy of having six brothers.
Draco: I thought we weren't going to talk about family anymore.
Ginny: No, just your family, my family has never been discussed.
Draco: I think that there is a reason for that...
Ginny: – glares – I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, only because I want to rant too. How is it possible for me to have a favourite brother? Isn't it my duty as the sister to love them all as equally as I possibly can?
Draco: You mean it's your sisterly duty?
Ginny: Exactly. Just like it seems to be Ron's brotherly duty to beat the crap out of you for coming within four meters of me.
Draco: That boy's like clockwork, isn't he?
Ginny: Yup, he's almost as predictable as it is for me to taste like strawberries.
Draco: – arches eyebrow –
Ginny: What I would like to know is why.
Draco: Well that one's easy. You have red hair, and strawberries are red, thus you must taste like a strawberry.
Ginny: Well, if that isn't corny I don't know what is.
Draco: I never said it wasn't.
Ginny: So then why do you smell and taste like spice all the time?
Draco: Well, isn't it obvious?
Ginny: – raises eyebrow –
Draco: I am the Spicy Sexy Slytherin Sex God, I need to taste spicy.
Ginny: – raises other eyebrow – If you say so...
Draco: You can't deny that I can move my hips like that supposed Chameleon of Pop, David Bowie.
Ginny: Yes, I can, and I am. And I don't think I ever want to hear you comparing yourself to David Bowie again. It's just wrong. He's precious.
Draco: You wound me woman.
Draco: Well, since you got your bloody answer, how about you answer one of mine then. Why is it that our son is named "Damien" like seventy percent of the time? Did I miss something in the books or is it just one of those things?
Ginny: It must be one of those things because I don't remember ever hearing about a Damien before either.
Draco: Well, as long as it's not just me.
Ginny: Yah, and they seem to like making sure it's not just you too, don't they.
Draco: You mean all the binding charms, hexes and spells?
Ginny: Mmm hmm. It's not like I really want to see you sitting on the loo.
Draco: Trust me, the feeling is mutual. Odd how that part is almost never in the story, is it? It's completely forgotten that we ever have to go to the washroom, unless it is a convenient plot device.
Ginny: I really don't think anyone would want to read about it, Malfoy.
Draco: Then why would they want to read about you being turned into a cat, Weasley?
Ginny: What do those two have to do with each other? Oh well, your right about the cat thing though. Why can't I ever be turned into something more interesting, like a dog or a bird or a-
Draco: Monkey? That would be interesting. Or a pig. No wait, you already live like one in that shack you call a house, so that wouldn't be any fun, now would it?
Ginny: Watch it Ferret Boy...
Draco: And once again with the name calling. Which brings me to the last thing I wanted to say, how is it possible that I can become the DADA proff the year after I graduate? That's like two months time. Don't I need some real world experience before I can do that? – pauses – Why are you looking at me like that, Weasley?
Ginny: Have I ever told you how much I hate you?
Draco: About every day of your life.
Ginny: Good. Because I really, really do sometimes.
Draco: Well, at least it's only sometimes.
– Ginny scowls and Draco smirks back. It could have turned into something more, something passionate, but the author decided to rear her blonde head and ruin all the "Action" Seekers' fun –
Tiny Q: – cackles – Yay for Lallie and her rants! Now I really want to listen to listen to Eric Clapton...
– reads over the dialogue while getting out her father's Best of Clapton CD –
Tiny Q: Why do you people keep doing this to me? Am I not good enough to be allowed to write my own stories?
– breaks into tears and runs away, planning on drawing Ginny/Neville art instead of the D/G she does too much of –
Draco: You and Neville? Now that's interesting. – bursts out laughing –
Ginny: – pales considerably then launches herself at Draco and clings to him like the world is going to end – No! You can't let her do that to me!
Draco: And why not?
Ginny: Because you love me?
Draco: Why do you always have to look so bloody cute when you say that?
Luna: I like ice cream.
A/N: Please don't hate me! But I really have been itching to do some N/G art... I think it is such a cute ship. Now all I have to do is find the time to sit down and sketch it out. Anyhoo, don't know how many more of these are actually going to happen. Can the clichés really get any worse? Can my pool of supposed originality get any shallower?? Can you really not lick your own elbow??? The sad part is, is that it's all probably true. So who knows, you might hear more from them... Though I don't know why you would want to...
But until then, many thanks to: cashew(Oh, I commit them all the time. I think it goes hand in hand with writing D/G. :D), Rockelle(That was one of my fav parts. Newts!), DracoandGinny(Hopefully you didn't die...), SkysTheLimit, Simbal, o0true0o, Lallie(I don't know if I could fit elephants into a D/G rant. Perhaps when we do another rant they can be the word of the day...), Amaya(Ouchie), tulzdavampslayer, JupiterS12(Cackling and hoping? Now that takes talent :), Queen of Night, Rhia, Bobby, VirtualFaerie, Sailor Gemini, AlyssaRose, pickel(Love the name!), Mara-Jade-FSS, Jade Summers, Lily Evans29, aurora borealis1(She really used to be like that too. One mention of the word sex and she would be out of the room so fast), Sabriel41(Tiny, if you please. There is always a spot on my site if you still want to put stuff up, dear), unperfection, xlight, deity of death1, Yazethet(No, I think it is in the Malfoy blood to smirk. They have special smirking muscles that make it so it doesn't hurt. I have no idea where that come from... :), XTeresaX(Well, I only really read D/G so I'm not very familiar with the other clichés), Fairy-Queen770, mell8, citcat299(Right what??), Savelyeva(Why thank you), Lady , The Devils Child 666 and kitti.