Author's Note: Well, hi there. I must say there is not nearly enough Connor love (coughSMUTcough) in this precious fandom. So, this is my latest contribution to the cause, just a one shot of ConKher that is kind of an outtake from 'Ashes & Wine' I guess. Not 100% sure where exactly it would fall in the story line, but that's the general time frame (AKA BDS2). And because they have taken over my brain become like my Boondock OTP, I can't put ConCon with anyone else. Sorry (I'm not sorry). This is a mix of smut and feels I guess (at least I got some feels, don't know about the rest of you). You don't technically need to read 'Make This Go On Forever' or 'Ashes & Wine' to understand this, but I wouldn't mind if you did.
This sprung from an idea I got while reading Rhanon Brodie's 'Safe in Birmingham'. I wondered how Connor would do if he had to pass the reins over to someone else, if you will. Well, all I can say is that the original idea for this story and the final version have very few similarities, ha.
I have to thank siarh for holding my hand through this story and letting me whine when Connor or Kher gave me a hard time on where to go. And I must thank Rhanon Brodie because, again, this was inspired by her story 'Safe in Birmingham'. After you're done here, you should probably mosey on over to them if you haven't already.
I hope you enjoy and if you'd like, you can always press the review button.
Disclaimer: I have no claim/rights to the Boondock universe. If I did... well... things would be very, very different. All credit for Boondock goes to Troy Duffy, Sean Patrick Flanery, Norman Reedus, etc. Kher is all mine. "Come Undone" is all Duran Duran (THAT IS THE JAM!).
'Oh... it'll take a little time... might take a little crime... to come undone now..'
"Wha' do ye wan' fer yer birthday?"
I glanced up from my magazine, blinking behind my reading glasses in surprise. Connor watched me curiously from his spot across on the couch, his hands moving over his gun as he cleaned it, seeming to act through muscle memory. I dogeared my page and folded the magazine closed, tossing it to the coffee table. I leaned forward and tilted my head to the side, regarding him carefully. "You seem so serious… and my birthday isn't for another two months."
He nodded, reaching for a bronze brush to clean the barrel, his blue eyes never wavering and never losing focus on me. "I am. Tink dis es 'ow I ca' ma' e'ryting up ta ye," he murmured. "An' et's fer th' birthdays I missed while I wa'… gone..."
I slowly reached up and pulled my glasses from my face, lowering them to my lap. "Connor, I've told you before that I forgive you…"
He shook his head as his hands stilled on the gun parts, lowering them to the towel. He stood up and moved in front of me, crouching to be eye level. "I wan' ta gi' ye e'ryting, Kher," he told me, his voice soft. He moved his hand to cradle my cheek, his eyes boring into mine with a seriousness that was so rare from him. "I nee' ta ma' sure ye know dat 'm so sorry fer puttin' ye trew wha' I di'."
"Connor, I know-"
"No, lass," he cut me off, his voice a touch sharper. He took my glasses from my hand and settled them on the coffee table behind him. His hands slid up my legs, resting on my thighs right above my knees. "I know ye tell me dat et's alrigh'. Bu' I need to be sure ye know 'ow sorry I am." He leaned closer, his face only inches from mine. "An'ting ye wan'. Jus' name et an' I'll ma' sure ye 'ave et, no matt' 'ow impossible."
I swallowed and searched his expression, noting the raw emotion and pleading in his eyes. Several moments of heavy silence ticked by as we both just stared at each other, searching each other's faces, the tension in the apartment mounting. Finally, I had a thought, the kernel of it tickling my brain.
"I want you," I whispered.
Connor let out a huff of frustration. "Lass, ye already 'ave me, I wan' ta-"
I placed my hand over his mouth, scooting closer to the edge of my seat. "No, Connor. What I mean is…" I took a deep breath as a knot formed in my stomach, suddenly nervous of how he'd react. "I want all of you. I want to you to give up control just once…" I trailed off and lowered my hand.
I watched as a small light of comprehension went off in his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning down. His face took on an expression I couldn't quite place and I felt the knot pull a little tighter as I watched him.
"I…" He cleared his throat. "I don' know ef I ca' do dat," he admitted as he lowered his gaze, his focus zeroing in on the cross at my neck.
"Do you trust me, Conn?" I asked quietly, my palms moving to cradle his cheeks.
I felt his hands tighten, his fingers digging into the bare skin of my thighs. "Et's no' 'bout trustin' ye as et were," he argued. "I do trust ye-"
I shook my head and gave him a soft smile, letting my thumbs trail over his cheekbones. "That's all it's about, Conn," I interjected. " I need to know that you trust me as much as I trust you." I moved my hands to thread my fingers through his hair, inching my body closer to him. "You've never let someone else take the reins before, have you? And I'm not just talking romantically, I mean in anything..."
He slowly shook his head. "No."
"Not even Murphy, right?" I pushed.
He let out a huff and cast his eyes downward. "I li' knowin' wha's goin' ta 'appen. I li' ta control-"
"Everything you possibly can?" I interjected.
He narrowed his eyes at me. "No' e'ryting."
I sighed and scratched my nails over his scalp. "You asked me what I wanted for my 'birthday'." I lifted my hands for the air quotes. "This is what I want. You've always been the one that controls this relationship. You pursued me-"
"Ye decided when ye wan'ed ta ge' tagetter," he argued, moving his hands to my hips and pulling me off the chair to straddle his lap on the floor.
I gave him a look. "Connor, c'mon. As soon as you decided you wanted to be more, that was that. You may not have pushed the subject, but it was only a matter of time before I was going to come around."
He gave me a shrug and a smirk. "Twas still yer decision as et were. No' me fault 'm so 'ard ta resist, no' es et?"
I rolled my eyes before continuing. "Anyway… my point is... our relationship has always been about your choices and decisions. I'm not saying we're not some sort of equal, but the ebbs and flows have always been up to you… what you are doing, where you are going, what you want… and I'm generally fine with that. I don't mind that you take charge, it's who you are and I love you so I love that about you."
Connor let out a sigh. "So wha' are ye sayin', Kher?"
I wrapped a hand around his rosary, gently running the pads of my fingers over the smooth wood of the beads, my eyes zeroed on the crucifix at the end. "I'm saying that I want you to let me have complete control, just this once. Or I want you to at least try to let me have it. And it will just be you and me." I met his gaze and gently pulled him closer, our foreheads touching. "No one has to know that you weren't the boss for once."
He swallowed and I watched as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Dis es really wha' ye wan'? Dis will ma' u' fer e'ryting?"
I chuckled. "You're the one that feels the need to make something up to me. But, yes… this is really what I want."
Slowly, his eyelids lifted and his eyes met mine. "A'righ'," he whispered. "Jus' tell me wha' ye wan' an' I'll do et."
I felt a slow smile spread across my face as the words left his lips. I slowly moved to my feet to stand over him. "Why don't you go to the bedroom and wait for me? I'll meet you there, I just have some things to do first."
He eyed me curiously, warily, as he moved to his feet in front of me. "Ye won' be lon', will ye lass?" he asked.
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're not off to a very good start, Conn," I scolded.
Connor's eyes widened a bit. "Yer startin' no'?"
I nodded. "I'm starting now." I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed and considered what he had possibly agreed to. "And the longer you don't do what we agreed, the harder it's going to be," I warned gently.
I saw the touch of apprehension in his eyes, but I could also tell that another part of him was intrigued. This was completely foreign territory for both of us and while I knew that Connor needed to have control, I couldn't help but believe that there was a part of him that needed to be controlled.
Eventually he gave me a nod and slowly walked backwards towards the bedroom, still watching me, wringing his hands together. "Where do ye wan' me ta go?" he asked, almost choking on the words.
"Lay on the bed, eyes on the ceiling," I ordered. "And stay quiet. Don't fall asleep. Just wait."
He nodded carefully before disappearing through the darkened doorway, his silhouette blending into the shadows. I waited until I heard the springs of the bed giving way under his weight before moving to the kitchen. I let out a sigh as I wrapped my hand around the handle of tea kettle on the stove and carried it over to the sink, filling it with warm water. I braced myself for what was to come. I knew that the payoff would be just what both of us needed, but I was also fully aware that neither of us knew the meaning of patience. Just the image of Connor lying in wait at this moment made my panties damp.
I crossed the kitchen to the stove and set the kettle on the burner, turning it to high. I moved to the cupboard grabbing a mug and a glass, setting the mug on the counter before moving to the freezer. As I grabbed a handful of ice cubes, I contemplated how long it would take Connor to break… if he'd let himself break at all. I inhaled deeply, dropping the cubes into the glass before setting it on the counter beside the mug. Chewing my lower lip thoughtfully, I slowly started to undo my blouse button by button, sliding the shirt off my shoulders, letting it tumble to the floor. I skimmed my hands down my torso, popping the button on my shorts and sliding them down my legs, letting them pool at my ankles.
As the kettle began to shriek, I grabbed it from the stove and poured the hot water into my mug, shivering as a cloud of steam hit my face. I set the mug back on the counter before reaching behind me to undo the clip in my hair, letting the locks tumble over my shoulders. I grabbed a half empty bottle of vodka, tucking it under my arm and grabbing the hot water and ice in each hand.
"Here we go," I muttered, moving towards the bedroom.
Connor sat on the bed, his foot thumping rhythmically on the floor and his fingers digging into his denim clad thighs. I flicked on the light and watched as he blinked rapidly, adjusting to the change. Slowly, his attention focused on me as I moved deeper into the room. "Seigneur, aide-moi…" he muttered, watching as I set the glass, mug and vodka on the dresser, drinking in the deep red lace of my bra and panty set.
I glanced over at him and arched an eyebrow. "Thought I told you to be laying down," I told him cooly as I reached for a candle, lifting it to my nose and inhaling. "Perfect," I thought as the fragrant smell of vanilla floated into my nostrils.
"Aw, lass, I couldn' lay dow'," he defended, moving to stand.
"Stay on the bed," I told him sharply, cutting my eyes at him, setting the candle back on the dresser.
Connor's eyes nearly bulged out of his head at my tone, but he did as he was told, quickly sitting back down, his fingers digging into the comforter at his sides.
"Good boy," I murmured with a smirk. I moved towards him and climbed onto his lap, my face over his. When he moved to kiss me, I pulled back. "Uh-uh," I tsked. "Remember, I get to decide what we do and when we do it," I reminded him, my hand slipping into his pocket. I carefully pulled out his lighter and moved from his lap, taking a step backwards.
"'mon, lass," he pleaded, his hands reaching for me.
I chuckled and walked back over to the dresser, grabbing the candle and carefully lighting it. I could feel Connor's gaze burning into my back, but I had to give him credit for actually staying put. I carefully opened the dresser and pulled out two silk scarves and a set of handcuffs.
"Wha' are ye doin'?" Connor asked, a note of impatience in his tone.
I slowly turned to face him, holding the items behind my back. "Take off your clothes, Conn," I murmured.
He swallowed audibly. "Wha' do ye 'ave behin' yer back dere?" he asked quietly as he slowly pulled his shirt over his head. He wrung the cotton between his hands.
"The pants too," I urged, ignoring his question. I ran my thumb over the smooth metal in my hand.
He gave me a scowl before tossing his shirt to the corner. "Twoul' be a bi' easier ef'n I coul' stan' fer dat," he muttered, gently pulling his rosary from around his neck and settling it on the bedside table.
I held back a chuckle at his petulant tone. "You may stand."
I leaned against the dresser behind me, watching him as he moved to stand at the foot of the bed. His hands went to his belt and he yanked it open. He held my gaze as he pulled it through the belt loops. "Tink ye migh' nee' dis later?" he asked, a note of sarcasm in his tone, flicking the leather to the floor.
I raised an eyebrow and felt a rush of unexpected arousal at the picture that suddenly appeared in my mind. "Guess that depends on how well you behave, doesn't it?" I asked, cocking my head to the side.
His eyes narrowed at me as he shoved his jeans over his hips. He kicked them to the side and moved his hands to his boxers. "Me unders too den?"
I shook my head. "Nah, we'll keep those on for now." I bit my lower lip letting my gaze move over him slowly. "Sit down against the headboard," I told him, nodding my head in the direction of the top of the bed.
Connor let out a sigh but did as he was told. "No' wha'?"
I let out a chuckle as I moved across the floor, my hands still behind my back. "You ask too many questions, Conn," I told him as I slid onto the bed, throwing a leg over his lap.
He pouted up at me, his hands resting on my hips. "Yer no' tellin' me an'ting," he complained.
"You'll find out as we go along," I pointed out. Gently I grabbed his left wrist and moved his hand to wrap around the headboard. "Don't let go," I commanded. "And put your right hand up there too."
I gave him a look of annoyance. "Connor, seriously, stop asking questions."
He set his jaw, but moved his right hand to join his left before looking up at me expectantly.
"So, you know how much you like rope?" I asked conversationally, screwing my face into a look of innocence.
Suspicion clouded Connor's expression and his eyes narrowed. "Aye…"
I moved my hands from behind his back and watched his jaw drop when he registered the scarves and cuffs. "I don't have any rope, but these should work… right?"
Connor's eyes remained on the metal bracelets dangling from my right hand and I felt his body stiffen beneath me, the color leaving his face. "Do ye tink..." He swallowed and I frowned when I noticed the fear in his eyes.
"Connor?" I asked, settling the items on the bed, moving my hand to his cheek. "Are you okay?"
He squeezed his eyes shut, his fingers tightening on the headboard. "I wan' ta do dis fer ye," he murmured, his voice low. "Bu'..." He opened his eyes slowly. "I can' do the 'andcuffs..."
I looked at him, concerned, feeling the tension in his frame. "Baby, talk to me," I murmured, stroking his cheek gently.
He took a deep breath, leaning into my touch. "Ca' I..." He cleared his throat. "Ca' I lower me 'ands?"
I nodded. "Of course," I replied. "Whatever you need to do, you just need to talk to me, tell me what's wrong."
He slowly moved his hands from the headboard bringing them in front of him. He rubbed his fingers over his wrists, avoiding my gaze. I couldn't remember ever seeing him like this, almost as though he were shutting down. He wrapped his hand around his wrist, holding it close to his chest.
"Connor?" I whispered.
His eyes flashed to mine and I felt shudders moving through his body beneath me. "'m sorry," he whispered. "Et's jus'..." He trailed off, shaking his head, trying to clear it.
"Do you need me to give you a minute?" I asked, carefully moving to slide off of his lap.
His hand flashed to my hip and he shook his head. "No, don' go," he ordered, his eyes blazing.
I nodded. "Okay, I'm right here," I soothed, settling my hand over his at my hip. As my fingers gently brushed his wrist, I glanced down and noticed the scars that circled the joint. My gaze moved back to his and I moved my other hand to brush his hair back from his forehead. "Is it about these?" I asked quietly, gently rubbing my fingertip over the scars.
Connor swallowed. "Aye, 'tis."
I nodded in understanding, even though I wasn't quite sure I did. I thought back to years ago when I had seen the bandages over his wrists, sitting with him in that Boston jail cell the day after St. Patrick's. He hadn't been willing to tell me exactly why he had been so hurt, but I recalled how damaged the skin had been beneath stark white bandages.
"Dey 'andcuffed me ta th' toilet," he murmured, his voice heavy as he answered my mental question and I felt a piece of my heart break at the sadness coloring his tone. "Dey 'andcuffed me dere so dey coul' kill me brudder."
I turned my full focus on Connor, my eyes searching his face. The pain flashed across his expression at the memory. "You never told me that," I murmured, my fingers following the band around his wrists.
"Didn' tink 'd 'ave ta," he admitted, casting his eyes downward and I noted the shame in his expression.
"Connor," I whispered, moving my hand back to rest against his cheek.
His eyes met mine, his lower lip between his teeth. "Lass?"
I leaned in, touching my lips to his softly. I felt his hand tighten at my hip, pulling me closer. I kept my lips together, kept the kiss chaste, simply let him be reminded that I was there in the present. Slowly, I pulled my mouth away, letting my forehead rest against his. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt you, right?"
Connor swallowed, his eyes closed, and he slowly nodded. "Ain' 'bout ye, girl," he replied. "Tol' ye dat I trus' ye."
I brought both my hands to either side of his neck, brushing my thumbs against the stubble at his jawline. "Do you want to stop this?" I asked. "We don't need to-"
He shook his head, opening his eyes. "No, I ca' do th' res' o' et," he told me, his voice firm. "I wan' ta do dis fer ya," he repeated.
I bit my lower lip, slowly trailing my hands over his shoulders. "You sure?" I asked, peering up at him from under my lashes.
Connor leaned forward and captured my lips with his, his hand moving to tangle in my hair. His other hand moved to the small of my back, pressing my body to his and I sighed into his mouth. My fingers dug into the skin of his shoulders and he let out a growl as the nails cut into the flesh. His tongue gently trailed over my lower lip before sucking it into his mouth. I kissed him gently one last time before pulling away, my hand holding his chin, my thumb rubbing over his lower lip. "I love you, y'know..." I whispered, watching as his tongue gently ran over the tip of my thumb.
"I love ye, too, lass," he replied, pulling me close and just holding me.
I sighed as we sat on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms. I was sure that this wasn't what either of us had expected when he had agreed to my request. I didn't know how I felt about it, where we should go from this moment. I tightened my arms around his shoulders and pressed my lips to the side of his neck, right above his tattoo. I sighed as he skimmed his nose over my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my collarbone, his hand on the back of my neck.
"I think I'm going to take a shower," I told him quietly, running my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck.
Connor pulled away, leaning his back fully against the headboard. "Bu' I though'..." He trailed off as my hands moved down his torso, settling over his cock.
"I'm not going to force you to do this when you obviously don't want to," I murmured. I flexed my fingers over him and gave him a shrug as he didn't react. "I think the whole... thing... affects you even more than you know."
He frowned. "Bu' dis es wha' ye wan'," he argued.
I kissed his forehead gently. "Another time," I assured, pressing my lips to his temple before slowly moving from the bed.
"'m sorry," he muttered, his expression pained as I grabbed the scarves and cuffs from the bed, settling them where I had found them.
I shook my head as I closed the drawer and gave him what I hoped he would know was a reassuring smile. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Conn," I replied, blowing out the candle, watching the smoke curl towards the ceiling.
"Feel li' I kee' disappointin' ye," he admitted, sliding off the bed to his feet and crossing the room towards me.
I sighed as he wrapped his arms around my torso from behind, resting his hands low on my midsection, his chin on my shoulder. "Connor, you don't disappoint me, ever. And especially not right here." I turned my head to meet his eyes. "I'm proud of you, if we're being honest."
His brow furrowed in confusion. "Wha' do ye mea'?"
I moved my hands over his and squeezed his fingers gently before lacing them together. "You're always taking care of me, Conn... I feel like you're finally letting me take care of you back," I explained.
We stood in front of the dresser in silence as my words settled over us. My eyes shifted to the mirror to stare at our reflection before me, contemplating everything that had happened. My breath hitched as I not only saw but felt his fingers slowly inching down my stomach. "What are you doing?"
He didn't reply, his hand continuing it's path. He slipped under the lace of my panties and I gasped as a digit ran over my clit, my hand wrapping around his wrist. "Christ, Kher," he breathed into my ear, sinking a finger into my slit. "Feels li' ye nee' sumtin'," he murmured, pressing his mouth to my ear and curling his finger to press against my inner wall. I hissed and dug my nails into his skin, my eyes frozen on his reflection in the mirror.
"Tink ye nee' somethin' ta take th' edge off," he continued, sliding his finger out before coming back two-fold and scissoring them inside me.
My mouth fell open and I saw the color bloom in my cheeks as his thumb swiped over my clit. "This isn't-"
He cut me off, his hand moving to my cheek to turn my face toward his and sealing his mouth over mine. His body pitched forward slightly, pinning me against the dresser. The hand at my cheek slid to my back, popping the clasp on my bra and flicking it from my shoulders, letting it fall down my arms and flutter to the ground. His mouth and hand left me as he quickly spun me so my back was hard against the chest of drawers. He grabbed my wrists tightly, his fingers circling them as he placed my hands flat against the edge of the wood behind me, sliding his hands to curl my fingers over the lip. I opened my mouth again to protest but didn't have a chance as he moved to his knees in front of me.
"Connor," I breathed, his name turning to a moan as he slid my panties down my legs. He let them fall to my ankles before leaning in and pressing a kiss to my inner thigh, his tongue brushing over my skin. His eyes locked on mine, watching me as I watched him and his mouth quirked as I shook my head, trying to understand where exactly things had strayed so far from the original plan... the plan that he had put into motion...
My hips bucked almost violently as his mouth pressed over my cunt and I sucked in a breath as his tongue swiped over me before diving in and out, tasting me... taunting me. As my hand moved from the dresser, he shook his head, never moving his mouth. He hummed his disapproval against me, making me shudder. His own hand circled my wrist again and pressed the limb back to the dresser.
The soft wood collected under my nails as I curled them against the surface, one of them breaking at the force as Connor's tongue moved between my legs, hard enough to make my arousal spike but too soft to actually reach any sort of finish. I let out a groan and tilted my head, pressing my mouth to my shoulder as he focused on my clit. "Connor," I tried again, my hands tightening behind me again as he moved a hand to spread me open even further.
"Aye?" he finally answered, gazing up at me as he fluttered the tip of his tongue over my clit.
"You are the-" My voice stuck in my throat as he sunk his thumb into my pussy, curling it upward and making me groan.
"Ye were sayin'?" he murmured, his mouth pressed to my thigh, nipping at the skin, his first and second finger pulling at my clit.
I stared down at him over my heaving breasts, our eyes locked. Suddenly, a rush of hot anger mixed with arousal shot through my veins at the gleam in his eye. I snared a hand in the back of his hair, pulling his head back as I slid to straddle his lap, slamming my mouth over his, moaning into the kiss as I tasted myself on his tongue. I reached down and yanked his shorts just enough that his cock stood between us. I lifted up on my knees and felt him groan as the smooth head slid through my soaking heat.
Our kiss was just as hot and wet as we fought for control... Power that he was accustomed to... dominance that I suddenly craved. I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth as his teeth cut over my upper. I wrapped my hand around the base of his cock, holding it in place as I slowly slid down, my nails digging into his scalp with every throbbing inch.
Connor snarled, his hands moving to dig his fingers into my hips, clutching me hard enough that I knew I would be bruised. As he moved to pull me fully onto his pelvis, I snarled my own reply, pulling his head back, staring into his eyes. "No," I growled, tensing my body and planting my knees hard against the floor, the fingers surrounding his prick tightening.
His eyes narrowed up at me, his teeth bared as his he jerked his hips, sliding into me fully. My mouth dropped open as the knuckles surrounding him brushed over my clit. "Fuck," I breathed, my internal muscles clenching.
"Dat's th' plan," he whispered, his eyes flashing, his body shuddering. "Jus' go' ta le' me, girl."
I shook my head, flexing my fingers in the back of his hair. I slid my hands to his shoulders and pushed him back, shoving him flat on the floor. "No," I repeated, sliding my hands down his arms and pulling them over his head, leaning over him. "I told you, I get to drive," I purred before slamming my mouth over his.
He growled against my lips as I shoved his boxers further down his thighs and started moving over him, working to screw him into the floor before he could return the favor. I gasped as the head of his cock slid over the spot inside me that made stars bloom behind my eyelids. I threw my head back, my hands planted on his chest as I moved up and down on his cock.
"Aye, dat's et," he hissed, grinding his teeth together, sweat beading at his hairline. His hips arched on every pass to meet mine, giving back just as much as he was taking. His arms moved off the floor, his hands moving to cup my breasts.
I let out a gasp as his thumbs brushed over my nipples, my back bowing to press my tits into his touch. "I didn't tell you to move," I ground out, snaking a hand behind me to his balls, giving them a slight tug as a warning. I grunted as he pinched my nipples hard in retaliation, the pleasurable pain shooting down to my groin.
"Didn' ask, neider," he replied, his voice low in his throat. He gave my nipples one last rough squeeze before sliding his hand to the back of neck. I felt him wrap my hair around his hand and cried out as he tugged my head back, moving to sit up, never managing to lose the punishing rhythm beneath me.
My hands moved to his back, my nails scratching over his skin as I struggled to not lose myself in the intense back and forth of our battle. I could feel the pressure building inside me as I moved towards my orgasm and I tried to press it down, hold it at bay. I could feel the pulsing between my legs, the tell-tale tension in his body that always came right before he released. "Don't come," I gasped out, digging my nails into the back of his neck.
His hips stuttered at my unexpected words and he pulled my head back to meet my gaze, hair still tight in his fist. I could see the confusion swirling behind the lustful determination in the blue of his irises.
"Please," I bit out, my head moving to rest on his shoulder, my body tense as I slowed to a stop. "Not yet," I whispered, struggling to catch my breath.
I could feel the tension rolling from his frame, one hand still tight in my hair, the other digging fingers into the skin of my already bruised hips. His breath puffed over the side of my neck, ruffling my hair, making me shiver. "Ef'n ye don' wan' me ta come, ye migh' wan' ta stop dat," he murmured, flexing his fingers against my skin.
I let out a huff that was almost a chuckle and tightened my internal muscles around his cock making him groan. "You mean you don't have that kinda self control?" I dared, crossing my ankles behind his back and pressing myself closer to him, my breasts pressed hard against his chest.
"Ye shouldn' tempt th' beast, lass," he warned, his hand sliding from my hip to my cunt, his thumb slowly moving to drag over my clit.
I pressed my mouth to his shoulder, pressing my teeth to the skin, muffling my moans as he moved his thumb up and down and in a circle, repeating the rhythm, building my orgasm all over again.
"Wha' do ye wan', girl?" he growled into my ear, moving his hand from my hair to trail his finger over my collarbone and up my chin, his thumb pressing against my lower lip. "Jus' tell me wha' ye wan' so I ca' give et ta ye."
I wanted to tell him to stop, that this wasn't what we had agreed to... I wanted to hold off just a little longer... but as his thumb started to rub even faster, I realized that I just didn't care anymore. "Just fuck me, Connor," I practically sobbed against his shoulder. "Please..."
No sooner were the words out of my mouth before I was suddenly on my back, staring up into his eyes. I cried out, arching my head back as he lifted my leg to his hip, pounding into me. He moved to his knees, his fingers digging into my ass and dragged me up his thighs, only my shoulders touching the ground. I couldn't stop the cries of ecstasy escaping my mouth, my hands pulling at my hair before moving to my breasts, pinching and pulling at my own nipples.
"Fuck me, et's comin'," Connor ground out, pistoning even faster. "Ma' yerself come, Kher," he pleaded. "Wan' ta feel ye."
I slid my hand down my torso and rubbed my fingers over my clit, letting out a hoarse scream as I felt myself combust, feeling my climax in every part of my body from my head to my toes, lights exploding behind my eyelids.
"Yes, lass, yes!" he cried out, giving one last hard thrust, before his body stilled and he found his release, the sensation making me tumble over the edge all over again.
I stirred as I felt a shock of cold against the dip in my lower back. "What are you doing?" I croaked, keeping my eyes closed as the chill travelled up my spine, snuggling further into the pillow under my head.
"Ye brought dis ice en 'ere, couldn' le' et go ta waste," he replied before dragging his tongue along the path the cube had taken.
I sighed and slowly cracked open an eye as Connor pressed a kiss to the back of my neck before moving to lay beside me, the tip of his nose against mine. He brought his hand between us and dragged his thumb over my lips, the tip of it cold and wet. He made the full path around my mouth before dragging my lower lip down and pressing his mouth to mine and I shivered as I felt the chill of the ice cube in his mouth. His hand moved to the small of my back as his tongue caressed mine, passing the ice into my mouth. I rolled to my back, pulling him on top of me as his hand slid to the back of neck, angling my mouth to deepen the kiss as his body pressed me into the mattress. Our tongues danced around the ice cube and each other until only the chill was left.
I exhaled a breath and laced my fingers through his hair as he pressed his lips to my collarbone before laying his head on my chest. "You okay?" I asked, my eyes slipping closed as I ran my fingers through the soft spikes in his hair.
He pressed a kiss between my breasts, skimming his nose up my sternum until his face hovered over mine. "'m fi'," he replied. "Ye?"
I nodded, giving him a tired smile. "I'm fine." I leaned into his touch as he caressed my cheek with his knuckles. "Better than, actually," I admitted, meeting his gaze.
Connor pressed a kiss to my forehead, letting his lips linger. "'m sorry," he murmured against my skin.
I clasped my hands around the back of his neck. "For what?" I asked, my fingers running through the hair at the nape of his neck.
He swallowed audibly. "Wasn' wha' ye asked fer," he murmured.
I moved my hands to his cheeks, framing his face. "Look at me, Conn," I commanded quietly. He lifted his eyes to meet mine. "You are everything I could ever ask for," I told him. "I asked you to give up some control and you did." He opened his mouth to argue, but I quickly moved my hand to cover his mouth. "Seriously, Connor, you did."
He snagged his finger through mine, pulling my hand from his mouth. "Ye seemed ta 'ave dese plans fer wha' ye wanted ta do," he muttered, pressing his lips to my fingertips.
I shook my head. "Just because it wasn't what I expected, doesn't mean it wasn't what I wanted or needed from you," I explained. I pulled his lips in, kissing him lightly. "I promise you that you have no reason to apologize to me," I continued as he rested his forehead against my own. "I told you that I wanted all of you and you gave me that."
He regarded me quietly for several beats before eventually nodding his head. "Ye always 'ave me," he promised before capturing my lips with his.
Seigneur, aide-moi: Lord, help me.