Just To Hold You

Chapter 1

Teris Xenite


Author's Note and disclaimer: No I don't own them. If I did they'd still be able to touch (there were other ways to inject tension). I have to admit as much as I don't like it…the virus was a good one. But the shipper in me can't leave this alone…so here lies the story. Somehow I have the feeling that it will be one of many like this but hey gotta toss my two cents in (and since I updated both of my other stories in the last week I don't feel bad in doing so even though this is a first chapter). I hope you enjoy, review or no more posting shall occur (I tried not blackmailing I really did and my muse starved so). And lastly the italicized words are thoughts, the bold italicized words are a characters counter thoughts while arguing with themselves.

Logan sat looking at the phone. Damn this shouldn't be this hard. All I'm doing is calling Original Cindy. Well yeah, but it's what you're calling her about that's giving you trouble and you know it. But I know she'll be all for it. Well then make the call, don't just sit here. Right. His moment of internal debate over Logan picked up the phone and dialed. "Cindy? Yeah, hi. I need a favor. Yeah I need you to deliver something to Max for me? You will? Thanks, do you want me to drop it off at your place or do you want to stop by here and pick it up? Ok, I'll see you then."

After he hung up Logan looked at the package that could easily change his life, again. Max had been growing more and more distant as the time went by without finding a way for them to be able to touch. I can't lose her. We've both lost so much already. I'll be damned if I'll let Manticore take this away from us too.

The box looked innocent enough to the naked eye, but the errant Kryptonian or X-ray technician would have likely broken their jaw at the contents. Below the innocent outward wrapping lie everything that he could possibly need to show Max that although they couldn't touch they could still be intimate. That is if she doesn't kick my ass on principal when she sees the handcuffs…

A knock on the frame of his office door announced Cindy's arrival. "Hey, what ya got that ya need delivered to my boo? And I shoulda asked before I came, but is this a cupid type delivery or eyes business?"

"Ah, well it's definitely of the cupid variety."

"Good, cause as much angst as my boo is going through if it'd been business I would have had to lay a smack down on your ass."

"And I would fully support you in that…but it's not business, it's very much personal. And I put a warning in the note for her not to open it until she was alone, but since she doesn't tend to listen to me…Could you warn her not to open it in the middle of Jam Pony or anything like that?"

"Noted…" A moment passed as she studied him. "So how you holding up? And don't even try to lie, cause Original knows ya know."

"Yeah Cindy I know. It's really hard. Better than thinking she was gone forever…but damn it's hard having her this close and still being so far away."

"No doubt."

"I'd give anything to be able to touch her, hold her. It's killing me to see her hurting and not be able to comfort her."

"Don't I know it. But you two will beat this, or Original Cindy don't play for the all girl team. Ya just gotta stay close, and keep the faith."

"Are the nightmares getting any better?"

"Some, she still has them but they seem to be getting better." She didn't mention that most of Max's nightmares centered around Logan and his death these days. The terror of Manticore seemed to have faded with the inferno that destroyed it.

He would never forget the first night Max had been back. After she'd left his place she'd gone to her apartment and woke Cindy. They had talked until both of them crashed, only to have Cindy awakened a few minutes later to find Max in the grips of a night terror. After trying everything she could think of to rouse her friend from her fear, she finally called Logan and held the phone to Max's ear as he spoke to her. After a few moments she woke, but they had be agonizing moments for all three.

Periodically after that for the next several weeks Cindy initiated late night phone calls to Logan's penthouse. The sound of Max sobbing in fear hurt Logan more than anything else could have, save perhaps the fact that he was powerless to comfort her in the way that both of them desired above all else. Every desire, each longing now centered around one simple thing: touch. He realized that he could live the rest of his life without making love with Max. But the thought of going without being able to hold her when she cried, or take her hand or stroke her forehead during one of her seizures was killing him.

He'd come to realize that it was the simple things he missed the most: brushing her hair back from her face, having her read over his shoulder. Innocent, simple touches that he didn't even realize that he would miss until suddenly they were gone. The loss of the closeness, the every day intimacy that they had shared hurt him more than not being able to kiss or caress her. But if his plan worked, maybe they could recapture some of that intimacy. After all, the brain is the most sensual organ. Let's see if Lydecker was right about mind over matter.

Hope you liked it. Review and I shall post again soon, the second chapter is already being typed ;').
Comments can be sent to: terisxenite@hotmail.com