I became a real fan of the show Catfish, hence the name, and this story is kind of based on that. Do we really know the people we talk to on the internet? I think the documentary I love the most about this, is Talhotblonde. Watch it if you can!
What he had done to deserve this, Tai really didn't know, but he did not mind at all. It had all started a few months ago when he was added by the most handsome guy he had ever seen. It felt too good to be true and it still did, but the guy kept assuring him that is was alright, that this was reality and Tai didn't question it again.
If he looked back a year on this, he never would've guessed being in this position. Tai was a popular guy, graduating high school at the end of this year and he had dated several girls. Most of them cheerleaders since they swooned over him when he was on the soccer field. Tai didn't mind it when girls flirted with him and complimented him, he actually really loved it and maybe sometimes took advantage of it, but it was high school, so who cared? He was having fun and making the most of this last year.
But this guy, this gorgeous guy adding him on Facebook. It was all it took to make him doubt his sexuality. Okay, maybe he had been doubting it before that and now he was just sure he was bisexual. He couldn't deny it anymore. He was completely and utterly in love with this guy.
Matt was his name, Matt Ishida. He was a model and was signed under a pretty popular brand. The man was gorgeous. The longish blond hair framing his face perfectly. The strong jawline, the deep blue eyes, and then that smile. It was a little crooked, almost mocking sometimes, but it pulled Tai in. Sometimes he could just stare at the pictures for hours, picturing the blonde somewhere else, preferably close to Tai.
It wasn't just Matt's looks that had drawn Tai in. Of course it was what kept him interested in the beginning, but after sharing many long conversations with Matt, Tai had fallen for him, hard. It didn't matter that they hadn't seen each other in real life. It was the conversations they shared that made Tai fall hard. How supportive Matt was about Tai's soccer dream, telling him he would definitely make the national team and that he had so much talent. In return Tai supported Matt's modelling career and rated his pictures when new ones came out.
And then there were other conversations. Deeper conversations where Tai talked about his sister and how sick she had gotten when they were younger and how guilty he had felt about it. And then how the depression had pulled her down again years later and how she was still having trouble picking herself up sometimes. In return Matt would talk about how he was adopted and how hard it had been when he had just found out, but how much he loved his parents at this point. He felt connected to Matt, like they had known each other for years already.
After pressuring and begging Matt, the blonde had finally agreed to give Tai his phone number and now Tai was even allowed to call! Of course he was incredibly nervous, hands shaking as he dialled the number. They had been talking online for a few hours already and finally it was time for the call. They were both ready, so when Tai heard the first ring, the phone was already picked up on the other side. It stayed silent for a moment on both sides, just listening to each other breathing. This was it, the moment of truth. Now Tai knew this wasn't a dream. He would actually be talking to his crush. His heart was racing and his fingers tapping nervously on his desk. At least Kari wasn't here, because how awkward would it be otherwise?
'H-hey,' he suddenly said, hating himself for sounding as nervous as he felt. He swallowed harshly as he leaned forward, his face now hidden behind his hand. This was so bad! Please Matt, say something back!
And then the silence was broken again. 'Hey, uh, how are you?' Tai was so happy that Matt sounded just as nervous as he was. At least he wasn't the only one. He had expected though that the voice would've sounded a little deeper, a little more masculine somehow, but like he cared. Matt would be perfect anyway and his abs would make up for the less masculine voice for sure. Matt was just amazing.
'I'm good, but you knew that already,' Tai responded, a smile now on his lips. He loved listening to Matt already and he wanted to hear so much more. The chuckle Matt had let out sounded like the most beautiful sound in the world, but Tai might be biased. 'Just like I know you are good,' he added, biting his lip to keep in a little of the bright smile that was forming. He had never felt so happy in his life. How silly was he? He was like a sixteen year old, falling in love for the first time. The falling in love thing might be true though. He had never felt this way about anyone before. 'So describe to me what you are looking at right now.'
Slowly relaxing Tai sat back in his chair again, it creaking under his weight slightly and he waited on Matt's reply. He was very curious about what the reply would be. 'Well, uh, that's quite the surprising question, but I'll do my best. Currently I am sitting behind my computer and I am looking through your pictures…'
Tai's heart fluttered at that comment. Matt was actually looking at his pictures?! But he was in no way just as handsome as Matt. Why the guy was even talking to him was still a mystery. Matt was way out of his league… 'Oh yeah? Hold up, I will start looking at your pictures as well,' he said, his eyes moving back to his computer and clicking away from the conversation they had just stared, replacing it by Matt's many modelling pictures. 'Okay, I have one now where you are posing in a completely black suit, no shirt under it, so you are showing off just a tat of skin.' He was being bad, but he didn't care. It wasn't like they hadn't shared more intimate conversations before.
Still he could hear a chocking sound from the other side, apparently embarrassing Matt a little. Well, Matt would just have to get used to it, because Tai was one to tease. 'Uh, well that's nice,' Matt replied nervously, making Tai's grin only bigger. What would Matt be looking at? 'I'm looking at a different kind of picture. The one with your sister during Christmas. I like the way you smile there.' Tai heard the mouse click, signalling Matt was moving on. 'And now I'm looking at your vacation pictures. The one from spring break. You, uh, you're about to jump in the water, but someone distracted you, so you're looking over at someone with again this smile on your face. And, uh, well you also have a nice tan there.' Matt really was shy now. When they talked over Facebook everything always seemed fine, but now Matt was actually shy. But people didn't always act the same way in real life as they did online of course. It would be fun to figure out what Matt would be like then.
'So you like my tan, huh?' Tai teased, smirk still firmly in place. Ugh and now Matt was even cute. How could Tai really be this lucky? Damn he hoped this would work out and he would actually meet Matt some day and they would be together forever after that. So cheeky and Tai loved it!
It stayed silent for a moment and Tai could almost hear the awkwardness coming from the other side of the phone. So damn cute! 'You know I do,' came the reluctant reply, Matt silently moping that Tai had made him say it. 'I wish I could get a tan like that. Hell, I think almost everyone would want a tan like yours. It's perfect.'
Insert another heart flutter. So his tan was perfect. Not as perfect as Matt's perfect unblemished skin. Tai had asked once, but apparently Matt really had no scars at all. Perfect unblemished skin that Tai craved to touch. 'Well, we both know your skin is more perfect than mine. I'm covered in scars, because I am too reckless to care,' he joked.
'Don't say that. I love your scars. You really live the life you want and aren't afraid to get hurt along the way. You had fun while getting those scars, right?'
That was true in a way, but it still sounded kind of weird. As if there was something behind Matt's words, but Tai ignored it and just smiled again. 'True, many I got from playing soccer and you know how much I love that.' He fell silent, listening to Matt's breathing again. 'When can I see you?' he suddenly asked. He had been asking a lot already and always got the same answer. It bothered him, but he didn't want to sound whiny about it, so he wouldn't complain. Just keep on asking.
'Soon, I promise,' as expected. 'I just will be away from home for a while for some modelling jobs, so it will be after that. I can just come over to you on the way if you'd like?' This was actually the first Matt had given him a time, sort of. Usually it was just soon and then Tai would have to deal, but now it would be after Matt got home again.
'Y-yeah! That would be great!' Tai answered enthusiastically. He definitely wanted to see Matt, as soon as possible. The conversations they had, held a lot of promises. Kisses they would share and well, some other things as well. And of course seeing Matt in real life would be amazing already. Just staring at the pictures wouldn't be enough. And then Tai could show Matt his life. Where he played soccer, where he hang out with friends, things like that. And then his friends could also finally see that Matt was real. They were still teasing him with it.
'Okay, good. But I have to go now. I have an early flight tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow again… It was really nice talking to you. Bye.' And with that Matt suddenly hang up, not really waiting on Tai's reply.
That wasn't nice. Tai had wanted to talk to Matt for hours still, but apparently it wouldn't happen. Hopefully they would call again soon and talk about other things. Usually they had a lot to talk about, but they needed to get used to this first. Slowly he put the phone down and rubbed a hand over his face, a lazy smile forming on his lips. It really didn't matter what Matt did, Tai was just as crazy about the guy.
And then a conversation popped up on Facebook, Matt typing something more.
I'll be dreaming of you while I sleep. I love you.
Matt was offline after that, but Tai's smile had grown wide. He loved it when Matt said things like that and usually he would say such things back, but now he didn't have the chance. So he dragged himself to bed, mind filled with images of a sleeping Matt right next to him. How he would love to have Matt in his arms right now…
Just a block away from where Tai lived, Izzy closed his computer, a guilty feeling weighing heavily on his heart. But he had no other way to get in contact with Tai. And now, now he was talking to his crush on a level he desperately wanted. It was wrong, but Izzy couldn't stop. He was addicted and hearing Tai's voice only had made it worse.
If only anyone knew…