Okay, I'd like to remind everyone that Tai is talking to Izzy in reality hear. Keep in mind that Matt is Izzy, so the questions he asks are meant a different way then Tai realises. Just don't forget it, otherwise the meaning of the chapter kind of fades away XD
So he was a nice guy then?
It was a day later and Tai finally had the opportunity to talk to Matt. It had been horrible to go a full day without his lover, but it happened more often. Matt was always busy with modelling and stuff and then it could take even a week before he answered. Those times Tai really missed him, but when he was back again, it was all the better.
And now Tai had been sharing his story about the previous day and how he had met Izzy. They had talked about the soccer game and Matt had gotten curious about Izzy it seemed. And of course Tai would happily share like he always did. Yeah, he's even going to be my tutor. He's not the best at sports, but so smart. And in the beginning I felt a little bad for him since the others were making fun of him. I know exactly what that's like…
What do you mean?
Oh, he had actually never told Matt about how he was teased by the other students. Ah well, doesn't really matter. Well, because he's really smart and not very good at sports, the others tend to pick on him. For me they do it the other way around. Because I am not very intelligent and good at sports they pick on me as well. So I know what it's like for him.
So you felt sorry for him?
Well, Tai didn't want to put it that way. Feeling sorry for someone… It was so belittling. No, I felt some kind of connection. I felt similar to him and I also don't feel sorry for myself. So I just want to befriend him and of course I hope he can pull me through school. And tomorrow he would have his first tutoring lesson. At Izzy's house, so he was pretty curious what the place would look like or at least his bedroom. Would he truly be such a geeky person as others saw him as?
It sounds like you kind of like him then…
I guess so. And then Tai realised what this must sound like. Of course he should've figured that out already. Matt didn't like it when Tai was interested in other guys and it wasn't even like that. Tai just saw Izzy as a new friend, not a potential lover. He was head over heels in love with Matt, so his eyes didn't even stray. Why would they when he had the hottest boyfriend ever? He's just a nice person and I think we'll be good friends. He added quickly to be sure Matt didn't get the wrong idea. It really wasn't like that at all.
You like him as a friend… When did you even ask him to be your tutor? Weren't you too busy with the soccer matches?
It seemed like Matt still didn't trust him about this. Tai never had figured that Matt was the jealous type and somewhere he felt flattered, but also a little annoyed. Why would Matt even think Tai would cheat or something? And then of course now Tai had to tell where he had met Izzy. As if the blond knew exactly what the answer would be to that and could get mad over it. It wasn't the best place, Tai knew that, but it didn't mean anything. It was after the soccer matches. He was still in the locker room when I got back after cleaning up. I think he didn't want to be seen by the other students, so he stayed behind and waited for them to leave.
Why do you think that?
Yeah, why did Tai think that? Because once I stepped in he hid his body a lot from me as well. As if he was afraid I would judge him for it. It stayed quiet on the other side for a little longer and Tai was about to send a question mark to know if Matt was still there until he started typing.
Did you judge him?
At first Tai found this a strange question, because why would it even matter to Matt if he judged Izzy on his body. But then he realised it was about if Tai would judge anyone on his or her body. Of course Matt's body was incredible, but he didn't want to be seen as just a handsome guy. No, I didn't. I respected his wishes and didn't look at him.
So you don't even know what he looks like naked then?
Really? Why in the world would Matt ask this? Was he that jealous? Of course Tai had seen some of Izzy's body and his eyes had snapped down for a moment, but he hadn't been checking the redhead out. That was just wrong. But it's not like you can resist looking at a naked person. It's like instincts or something. And for what Tai had seen Izzy had a nice body. Not overly hot or anything and his muscles weren't well defined, but he had a nice pale skin and everything was in proportion. But it didn't matter. Tai wanted Matt, period. But Tai didn't like lying, so he had to tell the truth. Okay, I did see him naked, but it wasn't a big deal.
Did you like what you saw?
This was getting really serious. Matt was acting way too jealous and Tai had not even given him a real reason to. Damn it, he couldn't even look at other guys anymore? And Tai had been only dating girls before Matt even came along, so what is it with guys now? He was getting really annoyed now. Just stop it, Matt. I didn't find him attractive. I only want you. And then it stayed quiet again. Of course he had said something wrong now as well. It wasn't like he could say anything right now anyway. Matt was just pissed. And Tai thought this would change now that he was dating a guy, but apparently they could be just as much of a drama queen.
So you didn't find anything appealing to him at all?
Okay, now Tai was just frustrated. Matt was acting like such a dick. Couldn't he just let this go? And Tai had only wanted to tell Matt about how Izzy was going to help him out with school and how they had become friends, but the blond had to take it somewhere else. Now Tai was sitting with his hands in his hair, trying to pull it out. Now he would just take his sweet time before he would answer. That damn Matt! They never had problems before, but suddenly the blond was so jealous, for nothing. And what about him? Matt was a model and would have loads of girls and guys fanning over him and his good looks and Tai still trusted him. Didn't he at least deserve the same? NO. I wasn't attracted to him, I don't want him, he doesn't mean anything. Happy now? He wanted to add that, but he refrained. It would only make things worse.
I have to go. Bye.
And with that Matt was just gone. Offline. Tai just stared at the screen completely flabbergasted. What did just happen? Even as time passed by, Matt didn't come online again. And this only made Tai angrier! He hadn't deserved this treatment at all! And this was seriously how Matt was going to end their conversation after not having talked in more than a day? Such an asshole! Tai had been nothing but supportive and had complimented Matt all the time. But now he had seen one guy naked. Someone he had just met. And Matt got mad at him. What the hell was this?
It was just Izzy, damn it. Tai had never even noticed the guy, so how can he then be attracted to him? If he had liked the guy, then surely he would've seen him long before yesterday's sports day. But he hadn't, so there was nothing going on here. And so what that he had seen him naked? Izzy had seen him naked as well and Tai had noticed how the redhead had looked him over. But Matt didn't care about that. Didn't even ask about it. This was all just utter bullshit.
Slamming his laptop closed he leaned back in his desk chair and then just screamed a little. Not too loud, because his family was still in the other room, but loud enough to get these feelings off his chest. He seriously felt the need to punch something, anything. Maybe even Matt's pretty face. No, he couldn't do that. No matter what, Tai still loved the guy. But why did he have to mess things up like this? They had been perfectly happy, chatting away about things and then Matt had to go all jealous on him. Never had this happened before and Tai had showered with other guys enough times for Matt to get jealous as well. He was in the soccer team for god's sake. They saw each other naked all the time!
Half an hour had passed by now and Tai still couldn't let it go. He had tried watching TV, reading a magazine, staring blankly out the window. Nothing helped! So he grabbed his phone and decided to call Matt. Thankfully they had exchanged phone numbers, so this was easy. And the blond better pick up. The phone rang and rang, the grip on it tightening with every beep. And then Tai got the voicemail. Quickly he hung up and then called again and again and again. He had no idea how many times he had called, but he was sure he was up to stalker level.
Eventually he gave up, because Matt wasn't going to answer his call, but the last time he called, Tai did leave a nice message. 'Damn it, Matt! I know you aren't doing anything, because you said you had the whole day to keep me company. I didn't do a damn thing wrong and you know it. I never showed any interest in anyone else, so stop acting like some jealous bitch and answer your phone.' He then ended the call, not sugar-coating any of it. He wasn't going to use sweet words to make it all better. He wasn't going to apologise either for this, because he did nothing wrong. Matt should apologise instead!
The whole evening went by without a message, but Tai told himself that he shouldn't message Matt anymore. The blond needed to come to him, but it was the hardest thing he'd ever done. The need to send something was so big. He just wanted to send a little message, saying how much he loved Matt or something like that. He always did that during the day, but not when he was blown of like that.
Lying in bed that night made things even worse. Normally they would send each other some kind of good night message, but now it stayed quiet. At this point Tai was reluctant to go to sleep, but tomorrow he would have to go to Izzy's place and study, so he needed to be fresh. It just didn't feel right. Should I he just postpone his meeting with Izzy then? No, he couldn't do that. He really needed the help!
And then he heard a familiar beeping sound that said he had a new text message.
Do you still love me?
Several emotions ran through Tai's body. First he frowned as he read it, then he got angry and wanted to throw his phone against the wall. After that it was frustration, because how in the world could Matt even think Tai didn't love him anymore?! And eventually a sigh left his lips as he surrendered to the plea. Yes, I still love you.
Okay… I love you too. Good night.
Apparently Matt hadn't been able to sleep either and needed this message as much as Tai did.
Characters © Digimon
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