A/N: I do not own Ted, Cody, or Randy. If I did, they would be tied up in my closet. It's midnight here in Wisconsin, and this little story just popped into my head, since I'm feeling humorous and a little sleepy. I hope you all enjoy, and please review. :)

Pillow Talk

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

The three men stood in a row and stared at the single king-size bed up against the far wall. There was a moment in which no one said anything; they were all too busy processing what this sudden discovery meant. And then it finally registered.


"Aw, come on Randy, it's not that bad," Cody Rhodes told his tattooed friend, ever the optimist. "We can make this work. Right, Teddy?"

"There is no way in hell that I'm sleeping next to him," Ted DiBiase exclaimed, pointing at Randy.

"Like I want to sleep next to you," Randy snarled, flashing his unnaturally sharp teeth at the Southern man. "You kick in your sleep."

"Well you take up the whole bed!" Ted snapped.

"Have you seen how tall I am?!"

Cody sighed and dropped his bag by the side of the bed. He was trying really hard to stay positive, but he was finding that harder to do the more that Ted and Randy argued. A pang of annoyance struck him as he realized that he was the youngest out of their little trio, and yet he was the more mature one.

"Fuck this shit," Randy growled, heading for the door. "I'm going to go and ask for a separate room."

"We got the last one, moron," Ted spat, flinging his bag down by Cody's and opening the bathroom door. "You're stuck here with us." He went inside, slamming and locking the door. The sound of the shower starting emitted from the closed door a few seconds later.

"Fantastic," Randy grumbled. "Just fucking great." The Viper crossed the room in a few long strides and tore the mini fridge open, rummaging around inside. "Please let there be some whiskey, please let there be some whiskey, please let there be some whiskey..." he kept mumbling to himself as he searched.

Cody sat down on the edge of the bed and turned on the TV, desperate for some mind-numbing television. He flipped through the channels until he found some stupid action show, and he scooted further up the bed until he was in the middle and leaned back against the pillows to watch.

Moments later, Randy flopped down on his left and crossed his arms, and Cody knew immediately that he was sulking because he hadn't found any alcohol. He was trying to focus on the show when Randy plucked the remote out of his hand and changed the channel to a sports network.

"Hey!" Cody cried, making a lunge for the remote. "I was watching that!"

"Too bad," Randy replied flatly, holding the remote out with one hand and shoving him away with the other. "Now we're watching this."

Cody opened his mouth to reply when the bathroom door swung open and Ted came out, dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of cotton pajama pants. He rolled his deep blue eyes at the sight of Cody and Randy struggling, and he laid down on Cody's other side, making sure he was as far on the edge as possible. He closed his eyes, deciding to turn in early so that this nightmare would end faster.

No more than five seconds had passed when an elbow nailed him square in the back. "Ow!" Ted yelped, sitting up and twisting around to glare at the other two men, who were still fighting over the remote. A surge of irritation rose up inside of him, and he snatched the remote out of Randy's hand and shut the TV off, then hurled the remote at the wall. It smashed into multiple pieces and fell to the carpet, and Cody and Randy both stared at it forlornly.

"Now go to sleep," Ted said through gritted teeth, laying back down again. He heard the other two lay down as well, and he blew out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, finally relaxing.

Cody stared at the ceiling, sandwiched between Ted and Randy. It was extremely uncomfortable, but there wasn't much he could do about it unless he wanted to sleep on the floor.

A few quiet moments passed, and then Cody heard a soft snore come from Ted. He closed his eyes, figuring that he might as well sleep now that his friends were asleep.

Too late, Cody remembered what happens when Ted falls asleep. His eyes flew open just as Ted lashed out with his foot, and he let out a yelp as he was kicked. He jerked backwards, smacking right into Randy, who tumbled right off the side of the bed.

There was a thud and then a pause.