Chapter One

Phoenix Wright had just finished a trial. Afterwords, he had some paperwork to finish up, so while the Fey cousins headed back to the apartment, he went to the office. One hour of typing, writing, signing, and filing later, he closed up the office, locked the door, and started towards his home.

It was a long walk, but he had somehow forgotten his wallet, so he couldn't take a taxi. About halfway through his journey, he realized he was across the street from the Prosecutor's Office. Figuring he may as well pay Edgeworth, Franziska, and possibly Gumshoe a visit, he crossed the street and entered the building.

Ignoring the weird stares, he casually made his way to the elevator, pressing the button for the twelfth floor. The door opened with a ding, and he exited the elevator and walked down the long hallway. Franziska's office was first, so he ducked his head inside there.

Phoenix was immediately met with a cold stare, and he smiled sheepishly. "Hey, Franziska... I was just walking back to my apartment, so I figured I'd stop with for a visit..."

"You foolish fool! How dare you foolishly disturb me with your tomfoolery!"

A crack was heard, and Phoenix thumped to the ground. The pain was sheer agony! Franziska had never been able to hit that hard. A memory suddenly assaulted Phoenix's brain, and he remembered the death-whip he had given her money to buy. Bracing himself for the taser that was certain to electrify him, he shut his eyes and waited for the inevitable. After about a minute of this, with no electricity running through his body, Phoenix thought he smelled something odd.

Getting out of his fetal position, he was immediately met with something he had never seen before, and certainly never expected to. Franziska was breathing fire! The room was filled with smoke, the bookshelf was on fire, sparks were flying, and there was Franziska, right in the middle of it, with flames coming out of her mouth!

Phoenix scrambled to exit the room without being fried, and just escaped a searing attack of flames. He ran to Edgeworth to warn him the dangers, and furiously knocked on the door. A voice inside spoke, clearing saying, "Come in."

If Phoenix had been in a sound state of mind, he might have noticed that the voice sounded seductive.

Opening the door, Phoenix was met with something else he never expected to see. Edgeworth was lying on the couch, not wearing his usual work clothes. But that's not where the strangeness stopped. Edgeworth was in his underwear!

On closer inspection, he was wearing light pink boxers that appeared to be made of silk. Not only that, but a light pink rose was in his mouth. The lights randomly went out, and were replaced with a magenta light illuminating the dark room. "I've been expecting you, Phoenix.", he purred. Scared out of his mind, he started backing out of the room, only for the door to be missing.

"Uhhh... Edgeworth, what are you doing...?", Phoenix asked cautiously.

"Sshhh, don't talk." Edgeworth responded while pinning against the wall.

Frantic, Phoenix did the only thing he could. He escaped. By jumping out of the window.

Bracing himself for when he hit the sidewalk, Phoenix was met with yet another surprise. Instead of hard concrete, he fell into a lake of coffee. Boiling coffee. Screaming, he attempted to swim out of the lake. Seeing something in the distance, he swam towards it. When reaching it, the mysterious object turned out be a boat. And inside the boat was none other than the coffee-loving Prosecutor, Godot.

Phoenix hoisted himself inside the small rowboat. "Godot, please, you have to help me. Can you row me to the edge of this coffee-lake?"

Godot leaned over the edge and took a swig of the lake.

"Hmmmm, this is missing something. Ah! It's the 147th distinct taste of bitterness... Oh, did you say something, Trite?"

"Can you please take me to the edge of this lake?"

"Sure thing, Trite."

This was the first bit of normality Phoenix had since entering the Prosecutor's office. Well, it was about as normal as you can get while riding in a boat over a lake made of boiling, bitter coffee. After a few minutes, Godot pulled up to the sidewalk.

"See you round, Trite."

"Um, yeah, thanks Godot.", Phoenix said as he climbed out of the boat. He waved as he saw Godot jump out the boat, do a triple-front-flip, and land in the coffee with his mouth wide open.

'Thank God I'm back at my apartment", Phoenix thought with some happiness. When he arrived at his door, he twisted the handle and opened it.

He was immediately ambushed with hundreds, maybe even thousands of Steel Samurai merchandise. Now trapped at the bottom of a samurai mountain, he yelled to Maya and Pearls for help.

"Maya, Pearls! Help me!", he screamed. Frantically, he tried to move some of samurai avalanche. But it was no use, no matter how he tried, he couldn't escape. Just when Phoenix was about to give up hope, a hand reached in through the mountain. He grabbed it as quickly as he could, and was suddenly being hoisted out of his cave.

Phoenix arrived at the top of the mountain, and inhaled the fresh air. But his breathing stopped when he saw who helped him out of his prison.


She grabbed his arms and handcuffed them before Phoenix could even react. He yelled at her, asking what in the world she was going to do to him, but she never responded as she led him down a dark hallway. They made many turns, and Dahlia eventually stopped at a room and gestured for him to enter. When Phoenix refused to, she kicked him hard in the stomach, and he grudgingly stepped inside the dark room.

Dahlia removed his handcuffs but quickly tied his limbs to a wall. He was awkwardly spread out, but his evil ex didn't seem to care.

"Goodbye, Feenie."

She left the room, leaving Phoenix spread out across a wall scared out of his mind. After about a minute, the door opened again.

'Sister Bikini? What is she doing here?', he thought curiously.

But then he realized she was wearing a bikini.

"You know, my bikinis look fabulous on me, especially in the winter."

Bikini pulled off her hood, revealing long, luscious blonde hair. She strutted up to Phoenix, and as she leaned in to kiss him, he screamed so loud everyone in the world could hear it.

Phoenix bolted upright in his bed. Sweating, he checked the clock. 2:17 AM. Trying to relax as he sunk his head back into his pillow, the nightmare continued to run through his head. Once he shut his eyes once more, it began to rain. 'That better not be coffee rain...', Phoenix thought as he drifted back to sleep.

Well, that's the grand start to my new story! What did you think? Please review! :D Also, thanks to AA Addict for our conversation about Bikini, which led me to add her into this chapter.