"Know Your Stars: Phineas & Ferb Edition"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Nickelodeon and Disney or the shows "All That" or "Phineas and Ferb".

Notice: The bold italic letters will be the Know Your Stars announcer talking, just to let you know.


Chapter 9: Monty Monogram


There was another victim entering the condemning Know Your Stars set. Indicating by his familiar gray hoodie, and his handsome looks that nearly resembled his father in his younger years, he sat in the hot seat. It was the son of Major Monogram to be exact.

Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars... Know Your Stars...

"Feels a little cold around here." Monty said while he looked around the studio, "Oh well... do your stuff, I guess."

Monty Monogram... he's a ladies man.

"Well, the truth is... I'm actually not." Monty explained clearly, "I know I'm really handsome to be a ladies man, but I'm just a one-woman man. Besides, I'm staying true to Vanessa and nothing else."

Monty Monogram... will be posing in an issue of Playgirl!

"Look, I'm flattered that you would say that, but that's not what I really want to do." Monty replied, feeling a little stern, "What I really wanna do is fight evil and make the world a better place to live in."

And sleep with other sluts on the job as well!

"Definitely not! I already told you I'm a one-woman man!" Monty complained heavily, "And just to let you know, I'm still a teenager like Vanessa is. There's no way I'm gonna whore myself out with some kind of third-world disease!"

Monty Monogram... also moonlights as a male stripper by the name of "Van Cockatoo".

"In your dreams, pal." Monty scoffed at the announcer's remark, "There's no way I'm doing anything that involves my body. Unless if it's a top secret mission, then I'm fine with that."

Monty Monogram... watch out.

"Watch out?" Monty shrugged in confusion, "For what?"

And then out of nowhere, a fangirl screamed off-camera.

"AAAAH! LOOK, IT'S VAN COCKATOO!"

Hearing that scream, Monty looked behind his shoulder and saw a row of fangirls ganging up after him. He was trying to get out of the crazed dogpile, but Monty's clothes were being shredded up by the minute.

"Agh! Vanessa! Help! I'm being trapped underneath by a row of gorgeous babes!" Monty screamed in pain.

During the dogpile, one of the fangirls got a hold of Monty's briefs!

"AHHHHH! I GOT HIS BRIEFS! JACKPOT!" The crazed fangirl happily shouted.

The fangirls finally got off of Monty and left. Monty soon regained consciousness and looked down to realize he was now naked all over his body.

"ACK!" Monty yelped, covering himself in shame, "What on earth was that for?"

You're definitely a ladies man now. I helped you out, buddy!

"I already told you for the last time, I'm a one-woman man!" Monty complained once again, "Why can't you just see that already! Look at me, I'm naked! You owe me new clothes, pal!"

Now you know Monty Monogram... a.k.a. Van CockaToo!

"You sure as heck don't know me!" Monty shouted in anger while the announcer left like a chicken, "I'm telling you that I only like Vanessa Doofenshmirtz and nothing else. And she'll never believe anything that you tell these people. And why did you have a pack of fangirls take my clothes? I swear, I'm feeling a little cold here! HELLO?"


Sorry if this chapter lacked a little bit of hilarity, but at least the fangirl attack made up for it.

Next up will be the lean mean Buford! Until then, feedback is appreciated!