[Stan & Gary]
A/N: I couldn't resist such a beautiful word. But, gosh, one of the words under the E category was "ecclesiolatry," which means excessive devotion to church tradition, and I had to reluctantly pull away from that because it'd end up too much like the previous chapter for what I had in mind. Also, I can't publish this in peace without pointing out that I am aware the ending is grammatically incorrect, lol. It was purposeful.
"Stan! Stan. Oh, Staaaan?"
"I need help with this boyfriend test!"
Every fiber of Stan's being told him not to look up, to stick to his book and pretend he'd never heard the words "boyfriend test" come out of Gary Harrison's mouth. But, of course, the noirette had an amazing penchant for ignoring his brain; he looked up.
A few feet away from the couch Stan was sitting on, Gary stood with some brightly-colored pop culture magazine in his hands, folded to the page with the offending quiz on it. "You just have to answer a few questions for me, please. I want to see if I'm a good boyfriend."
Stan raised an eyebrow and set his book down in his lap. "Of course you're a good boyfriend, dude. If you weren't, I wouldn't be, ya know, dating you."
"I just want to make sure." Those words were spoken in such a small, unsure voice so uncharacteristic of Gary that Stan was plagued with a strong sense of guilt for no particular reason.
"Yeah, okay! No problem, man. Go ahead and read the questions."
The blond perked up. Stan huffed a sigh as he sank low in his seat.
"First question," the former began brightly. "'How good is your boyfriend at remembering important dates? Example: Your anniversary, your birthday, etc.'"
"Uhh…good," Stan answered awkwardly, not exactly sure what to say. Gary didn't seem to mind, though, and he scribbled down what the other boy guessed was his lame response.
"Question two. 'How good is your boyfriend at communicating his feelings?'"
"All right. Three. 'Describe your boyfriend in one word.'"
Without putting any actual thought into it, Stan blurted, "Good," before he could stop himself.
"Four. 'How well does your boyfriend get along with your friends?'"
Here, Stan hesitated, contemplating whether or not he should tell the truth. His friends didn't like Gary too much, to be honest. They found him annoying. But should Stan tell him that? When he was still without a decision ten seconds later, he decided on replying with, "What does that matter? It's not like you're banging my friends. Why would getting along with them make you any less or any more of a good boyfriend?"
He expected the Mormon boy to demand a real answer, but, surprisingly, Gary seemed to be scribbling those words down in response.
"All right, that was it."
"That was it? You're gonna base your aptitude for being a good boyfriend based on four questions from a teen magazine?"
Gary bobbed his head in an occupied nod at first, but the question finally registered a few seconds later. "Well, when you put it that way…"
The blonde shrugged, flipping to the next page without a second thought. A moment passed in silence between them, and Stan hated the fact that the next words out of his mouth were, "So, how did I do?"
Gary looked up at him and smiled, blue eyes twinkling. "Good, Stan. You did good."