(A/N)Hi everyone. This is my first time writing fanfiction, so please, bear with me. I'm going to make a lot of goof ups, so could you kinda ignore them while I try to learn how to update? Thanks. Roll the clip!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. I wish I did, but I don't.
I am invisible. I always have been. I was shy as a child, and with an older sister who was far superior to me in every way and had no prejudice against saying so, I wasn't very confident. I guess I could have made friends if I didn't stay in the shadows all the time. Of course, there was really only one shadow that I stayed in, and no matter what I tried I couldn't leave it. That was my sister's shadow, stretching out from her perfect body with lustrous hair and a beautiful face. I could never compare to her reddish-brunette hair that turned pure gold in the sunlight for no reason. Her perfectly wide, long-lashed brown eyes, the exact color of melting chocolate. How could I compete with my dirt-brown hair that stayed the same color no matter the lighting. My colorless eyes that matched my hair and that my sister said looked dead. I was nothing compared to her. And I was reminded of this every single day of my life, by anyone who would bother to talk to me. I would go to school and get straight As in my honors classes; she would get 110s on every paper in her college level classes, even though she was only a sophomore, and a year older than me. I would try out for a sport; she'd become the captain and star player. She would beat me at everything and make me miserable by bragging about it. The worst part is that she knew what she was doing to me, knew that she made me feel like a defective clone that needed to be trashed. I hated it, and hated her for it. And after a while, I hated myself too.
Eventually, I just stopped feeling anything, including hatred. I think I stopped caring when I overheard my parents debating on whether or not to send me to an orphanage and pretend they had found me on the streets. My life was miserable.
The only thing that kept me from ending myself was my pond. You see, there was one advantage to being invisible. No one noticed (or cared) if you went missing for hours on end. Whenever I felt myself breaking down, like I was about to snap and hurt myself, I would go to my pond. It was a little less than a mile behind our house, in the middle of the woods that came with the house. In the spring, summer, and fall I would swim around and around and around. It was a lovely pond, with clear waters, smooth and sandy bottoms, and tiny, colorful fish that were harmless. Fifteen feet deep and fresh water, it made feel as though I was weightless when I dove in. Like I had nothing holding me down and I could stay there forever. I could dive in and open my eyes to a whole other world. And, for a few hours each week, I could forget about my sister, my parents, school, pleasing everyone, and just trying to prove I existed. My pond was mine, and mine alone. My sister was afraid of water, and our parents never pushed her to try to get past it. My pond was my little world, and I loved swimming in it. But I loved skating even more. Winter was my favorite season, as it brought with it the snow, the cold, the clouds and, most importantly, the ice.
I worked at the local hospital for five months, cleaning bedpans, sorting paperwork, cheering up the child patients and anything else they could find for a 6 year old to do. My aunt worked at the hospital and allowed me to stay at the hospital and work. I think my parents paid her double what she paid me in order to keep me there and out of their sight.
After I bought my skates I tried ice skating. I failed. Badly. I hit the ice so hard it cracked like cold glass. I was too afraid to go on my pond again in the thoughts that if I fell no one would come to save me. After a week I braved the cold and tried again. After a month or two I got the hang of it.
Skating was...amazing. If swimming underwater was floating, then ice skating was flying. I would skate around the pond in my own little solo, dancing to music only I could hear. I felt so free, with the wind blowing back my hair. I felt beautiful, and confident, and like I could do anything. Like I could take off at any moment and fly into the sun, leaving behind my miserable life. But then every night I would have to go home, and wait for my next visit to my pond. Except for my last time at the pond. After that, I never saw it again.
I was skating around, singing and jumping and twisting and spinning like I always did. The cold wind blew harshly against my nose and cheeks, cracking my lips and turning my cheeks pink. I was singing with all my heart, pouring all my emotions into my song so I wouldn't have to experience them. I was so busy extorting all of my emotions that I didn't realize that the ice had cracked until it shuddered beneath me. I looked down slowly, taking in the shattered window below me. I knew I wouldn't survive; I was in the middle of a cracking pond that's water temperature was cold enough to freeze a buffalo solid. I turned my head to the sky and thought if I have to go, can you send me someplace where I won't be so sad? With those thoughts in mind, the ice shattered, plunging me into its cold, unforgiving depths.