A/N: The dark divine and all it's characters belong to Bree Despain. I own nothing.

I awoke beside a girl I didn't know, but who said she loved me. It didn't feel right,but the drugs made that hard to see. Love was the only thing that mattered. Nothing else counted in the slightest. Love was all I ever wanted. But deep down I knew this girl, Sadie, I think, didn't love me. It was her reaction to whatever drug she'd been given. But it didn't matter. Ever since I'd left the Divine family I'd had no love. My father abused me and my mother abandoned me. I was happiest there. It was almost like I'd had an actual family, with siblings and parents that actually gave a damn about me. I wished I could go back in time before it went to hell. But that wasn't possible. Not after what I'd done. I left my brother, the one who'd taken me in, the one who would've bent over backwards, gone through hell and back in order to help me. I attacked him and left him there. To die. The words rang through my head, over and over. I shook my head clear of the thoughts. Saying it was the wolf didn't help. It simply wouldn't erase what I had done. Jude,kind, gentle, loving and simply nice guy Jude. I left him to die. And I would never, could never, forgive myself for it. I couldn't forget either. " I love you Samuel" giggled the girl beside me. She had gone slightly blurry, but I thought she looked like Grace. I blinked trying to get rid of the the fuzziness. Stupid drugs, I could barely see. Grace. The name snapped my brain to focus. Despite the drugs. 'she's the one' I realized. If anyone could love me, it was her. That was all i wanted. Love.